You know what you need to do with him~VENT

**our little treasures** · 31-10-2007 22:26

A couple of mums came to my house for a playdate! I suggested we go to the park for some lunch.

Anyway 1 of the mums LOVES to tell me what I should do with my son or children full stop!! It drives me nuts!!

So my day went a bit like this DS threw the backyard toys over the patio so I went out and threw one of his toys over (he was throwing his sisters) and I came in. DS was very upset and was crying at my feet, I ignored him as I understood that he was upset I had thrown his toy over.

Friend says "Take him to his room and put him on his bed"
Me "No, it's fine"
FRIEND "You should do that to him and tell him to knock it off"
Me "No"

I believe 1 crime 1 punishment he is 2 and expressing he is upset.

A few more comments made while her son is ripping toys from the other children.

So we go to the park

DS is terrified of flies so I get the "You know what you should do" speech.

DS is tired and I mention that I am not giving him a nap today so he will go to bed early. Friend "you know what you need to do with him" speech.

DD didn't say thank you while asking for the chips and friend gets all over her "what do you say

" I know it was bad as my friends hubby had joined us and he said he was going

I had it all day "you know what you should do" while her son was interrupting while us mums were talking. "SHILO SHILO SHILO SHILO Until I actually answered him". He was burping while we were eating lunch but nothing was said. He hit my son NOTHING was said. I told my DS off for screaming and she says "he is squeeling" I felt like saying "yes because your frigen son just took the toy of him" and contradicts everything I am doing or saying!! I can't stand it.

I got the cosleeping talk "oh you have to stop that" "you need to smack your boy then he will listen" I even got advice on how to Breastfeed my 3rd bubba when she only fed hers for 6 weeks and I had BF my other 2 for 14 and 17mnths!! WTF??!!

I know it wasn't in my imagintion as when we were leaving I got a text from the another mum (my bestie) and it said

"shilo, do u no what you need 2 do with him shilo, do u no what you need 2 do with him shilo, do u no what you need 2 do with him lol" I hadn't had a chance to tell her I was annoyed. So I know it was her!!

I know I have a magnet for these people because I am too bloomin polite!! I find it difficult to say "shut the truck up" LOL!!
I always be firm and say no to whatever her suggestion is but she doesn't get it!!

What could I do??

I told dh that I don't want to invite her over anymore but then feel guilty!!!

**reAllytee** · 31-10-2007 22:32

I would steer clear, just dont have her around as much etc. At least give yourself a break cause maybe in that time you will work up the courage to say something back iykwim.

I tend to be the same. I smile & nod a lot

At least my family have given up on their ideas lol !

I mean we are all guilty of offering advice etc but this sounds like its to the extreme ... I wonder if she realises she does it

So maybe have a chat in a round about way if you can that is !

**SassyDiva** · 31-10-2007 22:34

If she's a good friend, I'd try to talk it thru with her.

If not, I'd steer clear of her... some people just do your head in and its best for ur mental health to stay away

**our little treasures** · 31-10-2007 22:39

Oh I love free advice but this isn't advice. It's like her parenting me is that weird??

The other mums will say something and I will say "oh yeah that might work" .

I think why I get so angry is because I am telling her what I am doing and she obviously thinks it's not right.

I don't know out of all the mums I catch up with I have 3 that annoy the cr@p outta me. 1 is a teacher so I understand that she cannot help it

The other 2 have real feral kids but think they can manage mine

**our little treasures** · 31-10-2007 22:43

Your right ally maybe she doesn't know she does it. I mean it's non stop everything I say it's the same thing. It's not a conversation but more her directing me.

Must be easy being a mum to one 4 yr old, having all that time on your hands to offer advice.

Jordy I had a look through your wedding pics ages ago and forgot to post how gorgeous they were

**Ashleigh<3** · 31-10-2007 22:45

You know what you should do....

*KIDDING*

That was a bad time for a joke, I had to reply to your thread though because I have a 'friend' like this to and it can't get very annoying.

"Shouldn't she be smacked for that?".
Ermmm, she's one?

I really don't have any advice though cause I'm like you and am to polite when people act like that.
I'm afraid their going to bite my head of when in reality, we should be able to stand up for ourselves considering they are the ones going out of their way to **** people off.

Good luck with it, well good luck to the both of us hey.

Sorry I can't offer any advice.

**cmd'smum** · 31-10-2007 22:47

you are a great mum and from what I've read about your kids they sound like wonderful,happy children! I think she's jealous you can handle your kids and she can't, well doesn't sound to me like she can anyway!

id say something to her or steer clear, that's just me though, "YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED TO DO SHILO!"

**reAllytee** · 31-10-2007 22:48

Yes there always has to be someone who knows everything etc ... Shame they dont actually have your child.

I always get told to do certain things with Boof etc shame ive already tried these things & they dont bloomin work plus i dont want to beat him into submission anyways ! Even though im tempted to somedays

Myabe she does it cause she is insecure with her own parenting or maybe she just thinks she has the perfect child & knows how to parent better

**our little treasures** · 31-10-2007 23:03

"yes I'll try that"

You know ds is 2 doing 2 yr old things he isn't bashing children (except his sister) or is he doing anything to her son. I regretted inviting her as soon as I did.

I will give you more examples

I gave her a thank you thing for the birth of dd, I got them off ebay as I was so busy recovering and bonding with bubs that I knew I would never get around to doing them myself. So this was her gratitude "you brought these?" "you can make these"

!!!!

I was talking about moving a lot when we were younger and she said "your mum looks like a gypsy" with nastiness in her voice.....................................

Ok why am I friends with her??

**our little treasures** · 31-10-2007 23:04

Originally Posted by cmd'smum

you are a great mum and from what I've read about your kids they sound like wonderful,happy children! I think she's jealous you can handle your kids and she can't, well doesn't sound to me like she can anyway!

id say something to her or steer clear, that's just me though, "YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED TO DO SHILO!"

Your so sweet!! I love my july mummies!!

When I got the text I replied

"apparently not!!"