Who needs enemies when....

**caz** · 16-02-2006 16:17

you've got a friend like mine!

Today over MSN I was telling my friend that i'm going to go on the CSIRO diet. She was saying thats really good and encouraging me then all of a sudden she's like, "It's really expensive," "You don't like fish and there's heaps of fish recipes in it, what will you do?" "You know you've got to excercise too" basically being negative

Why can't she just say "That's great, good luck, it worked for me so it'll work for you too"

I've known her for 20 years and she's always thought she's better than me, DP reckons she's jealous of me, especially since I had DS.

Sorry for venting, it's just her attitude gets to me at times

**DB&O** · 16-02-2006 17:09

Hi, don't let your freind get you down, go for it. I'm sure that there are alternatives to fish & other recipes for you to try. I think its great that you are trying this & would be very interested in your results, I've heard alot about it & have been thinking about doing it myself, keep us informed of your results.
Good luck

**bronny-jane** · 16-02-2006 17:18

fish is recommened two meals a week, but i didnt eat the fish i used chicken instead, in pg at the moment but i lost 4.5kg in the first week. plus when you know what your allowences for the day are, you cant get creative and do your own thing. good luck with it.

**caz** · 16-02-2006 17:32

Thanks guys, it's amazing how people i've never met can be more encouraging than someone i've known for so long

**babycrazy** · 16-02-2006 19:03

Hi Caz
Sounds familiar!

My friend of 17 years has always been super competitive with me. When I was younger I used to like the competition because it drove me to try harder. We have always been competitive over weight - most of the time I was thinner, then she'd do her Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers and get thin, then balloon back up etc. Now I am pretty heavy after having the twins. Now I am in my thirties, I just can't be bothered with the 'competiition" anymore. Sometimes people, especially family and friends do hold secret envies or resent it when you lose weight, get fit or even find a job you love. It is interesting that some people can say "Thats great" but be secretly resentful. It just shows they are not happy with their own lives. My "friend" recently bought a house on 10 acres with 5 bedrooms (they have 2 kids) and we are living in a 3 bedroom plus study with 6 kids. She keeps wanting me to come over and see her new house but really it is not a friendly invitation it is just to show off. Interesting!

**JATS** · 17-02-2006 01:39

Competitive people really get on my nerves, I know too many of them, women who get pregnant because everyone around them is having babies and they feel left out annoy me the most

Your 'friend' sounds strange, encouraging one second, tearing you down the next... very strange!

I have a woman who tries to drag me into competitions, DH's ex. When we set our wedding date she demanded her fiance' set theirs for 2 months before ours! (He's a good mate of DH's and told him about it) when we were ttc she was trying to get her fiance to as well, I told her I m/c'd and she says "that's nothing" and starts on about how she's had 2 ectopics (both landed her in hospital and yes she had been through worse than me but to brush off mine like it was nothing peeved me right off!) Every time I see her she asks if I'm pg again yet because she knows we want our kids close together. She managed to fall pg by end of 2003, and by the time we were expecting #1 she was 4 months pregnant with #2!!! And she never lets me forget it either

Yup, competitive people suck!

Then again I wouldn't trade my life for hers in a pink fit! Of every couple I know the relationship and lifestyle I have with my husband just out-shines all of them!

**our little treasures** · 17-02-2006 12:34

Maybe she didn't realise what she was saying!! If she has done it herself maybe she these are the things that she didn't like!! I think you should try it for yourself.. Maybe this will be the thing that makes youpush towards a goal so you can show her that you CAN do it!!

**caz** · 17-02-2006 13:26

I'd like to think she was being a friend and warning me about the food and the cost etc... but with her history I know its jealousy.

She's always be super competitive with me and yes it daoes make me strive harder (which I thank her for because it has made me the person I am today) but it's starting wear a bit thin. We're not in high-school anymore!

Just so you know what kind of person she is, everytime I liked a guy she would go out of her way to make sure he wanted nothing to do with me by putting herself in the lime-light.

Also, when I first got with DP she took him aside one day I told him that I was good for nothing, i'd use him and move on, i'd use him for his money (which he has never had much of, which is fine by me coz I love him for him) basically bad mouth me. All because she was jealous of how happy DP made me because the guy she was with treated like absolute poo. Then when I comfronted her about what she'd said she blamed it all on the guy she was seeing who happened to DP's best mate who never liked me because he believed her lies

So that's just an insight of what she's really like, I could go on with more stories similar but I won't

**KiLLaKaZ** · 18-02-2006 04:20

they seem to be the kinds of 'friends' i attract!! well, DID attract when i was in high school! since then i've purposely lost touch (tho one contacts me every now & then to show off about her latest achievements). personally, i purposely rid myself of these 'friends' because i didn't want the negativity in my life! i'd rather have no friends than ones that make me feel like crap! i don't really have any RL friends now, but all my online ones r REALLY supportive & i can talk to them about almost anything!