I have been reminiscing for the last couple of weeks about how on Monday the 20th of February I would have been due to give birth to my first baby. Just 4 days away.
I really have mixed feelings at the moment. One minute, I am sad that my baby had to go back to Heaven. The next, I am almost relieved - because DH is away for the next 6 months and may not have had the opportunity to meet his baby until the end of September.
I am upset that my baby didn't make it. But I know that it is happy and playing in a beautiful garden in Heaven, with all the other little babies who were much too precious for Earth.
On Monday night, I plan to share a quiet drink with DH to keep alive the thoughts of our first baby. Though it never made it to my arms, I will never forget it.