At the time of giving birth, I had been separated from my ex for about 2 months so there was still plenty of tension and I was quite worried about this as I wanted to focus on the arrival of my little bundle.
I had been staying at mums a few nights a week as I had no other help with my toddler and being heavily pregnant. I was chatting away on the phone with a close friend about 2 weeks before my due date and we ended up chatting til around midnight. I started getting pains while I was talking to her but they had been coming and going for a while so I didnt think much of it. I stayed up with my parents and we all ended up going to bed around 1am, absolutely exhausted. My toddler slept in a portacot next to me whenever we stayed at mums so I gave him a kiss and hopped in bed, so exhausted I fell asleep straight away.
The next thing I know, its 2am and Ive woken up due to my clothing and bedsheets being completely soaked in amniotic fluid! At this point I am completely freaking out, shaking and crying as I was not ready to give birth, I was physically and emotionally exhausted plus I hadnt yet packed my hospital bags! I got up, cleaned myself up and woke up mum to take me to the hospital. While I waited for her to get dressed, I just sat at the stairs crying, I was petrified, tired, and still had alot of emotional issues with the separation. I just didnt feel like I was ready for the baby.
Tired + Emotional + Pregnant = not a good combination!!
We were both tired & had to drive to my place first to get my hospital bags packed, then it was off to the birthing unit. I was having mild contractions at this point.
I checked in and did the usual pee in the cup and did some walking around the hospital to try to get the contractions rolling. I nearly fell asleep while walking so I decided I would try to have a sleep through my contractions. Mum & I ended up both sleeping, I woke around 1/2hr later from the pain & put myself in the shower to try to ease the lower back pain. It didnt do much but I had a good old cry in there. I tried to stay positive and in control of the pain, I couldnt wait to meet my lil one and I just prayed I was going to be ok for him emotionally.
Mum woke up and we walked around the hospital some more, it was still early stages but the pain was just killing me. No matter which position I laid/sat, where/how I stood or what I did, I just couldnt cope. I ended up with a very nosy midwife who asked waaaay too many personal questions, I was hoping her shift would end soon but she ended up delivering the baby.
I told her to organise an epidural asap because I was around 6 hours into the contractions and couldnt cope any longer, I was tired & stressed & knew I still had a long time to go. She tried to talk me out of it and delayed it for ages which annoyed me heaps. She said you're young & its your second so the baby will come quick, I said can you organise it now because i am not coping!!! I know my pain theshold, I tried gas and I just kept crying and screaming, I was not in control of the pain whatsoever and even though I swore I would not do the epi, I was begging for it. She continued to try to talk me out of it, and said she had to see if the anaesthetist (sp?) was avilable, and it would be at least half an hour for him to drive out etc. etc. I said I dont care - get me the epi asap! When he finally arrived I was crapping my pants, I wish we could just skip the needle part and go straight to the pain relief! Anyway he splashed the freezing cold stuff on my back and in went the big fat needle, my poor mother fainted because I had to hold onto her while he put it in and she could see the needle. Within around 10mins the pain relief had kicked in and I was extremely relieved. It was mid morning so I rang dad to check on my son as I already was missing him heaps! My ex arrived at the hospital as he wanted to be there for the birth, I didnt want him in the room with me for the labour because he is extremely rude and I wanted it to be as positive as possible.
It was pretty much just resting on and off and I could feel the baby moving down, I was getting extremely excited! I was dialating nicely, the nosy nurse kept checking me and I had finally dialated 10cm. She said I was ready to push, I was freaking out as I was about to meet my bub!! I gave a few very hard pushes, they said they could see his head and he had black hair! I pushed and his head popped out, I am screaming and crying, 2 more pushes and he came sliding out into the nurses arms and she gave him to me straight away. I just cryed and cryed I was so happy, he was beautiful & looked just like my first! I fell in love with him straight away and forgot about everything else in the world. I couldnt stop looking at him and smiling and thinking how lucky I was to have 2 such precious little boys in my life. I connected with him straight away and just held him close.
The nosy nurse congratulated me on one of the cleanest births she'd ever seen - there was hardly any blood! After the initial excitement and ooing and aahing, mum thought she'd leave to give my ex and I some time with the baby. I was a little worried but thought it might be a good idea, even though I despised him we were both the parents. Within 1 hour of Zak's birth,after everyone else had left the room, he began trying to discuss custody & taking me to court. I just burst in to tears and said how can you be so nasty, I have just given birth and am trying to enjoy my son!! He started getting nasty so I told him to leave or I would call security, I was very upset. He left and after that it was just me and my bub, and each minute that past I loved him more and more.
I stayed in hospital for 3 nights and by the third night I was missing my toddler so much and couldnt wait to go home and start my new life with my two boys. It has been 3 1/2 months now and we are doing better than ever, we are a very happy little family and I feel blessed and honoured to be a mother to these two children. I am emotionally stronger than ever and just loving these boys to bits!
Thanks for reading