Please, not again

[notagain]

Going 'undercover' in this thread as prefer not to use my normal username. Just need to vent anonymously.
I had pnd with DS (now 2), and only really admitted a problem and started taking meds early this year despite looking back and having had it pretty much the whole time. DP and I then got pregnant with #2 so came off meds despite being warned about having another baby so close to pnd.Have been doing well overall and we're now into the second trimester.
My problem is that I feel as though it's all starting up again - the negative thoughts, feelings of cant-be-bothereds, loneliness, exhaustion, feeling down, down, down.
I know I really should talk to someone but I just dont want to bring it all up again as I was doing so well. In particular, I dont want to upset DP by telling him how i feel, I know last time tore him apart watching me slide downhill. I also dont want to talk to my GP, I guess I just feel like everyone will tell me 'I told you so' for trying to get pregnant again so soon after pnd. Am hoping its just temporary and a few hormones are out of whack and that this isnt pnd taking hold again or antenatal depression kicking in? - wherever one stops and another starts who knows

[punkbaby]

Your going to hate me for saying this but chat to your GP I have been taking zoloft throughout this pregnancy with no problems (was told it was safe) admitedly i am off them now giving myself a break as i feel that i can cope but i would have been lost a few months ago if i wasnt on them.

If the meds help you take them! Dont worry about what other people think when they say "i told you so etc" they should be supporting you and helping you through this, you know yourself when somethings wrong so if you feel that you are going to go back down hill again try and beat it before it really kicks in.

Maybe it is temporary but best to be sure just encase PND is a horrilble thing to go through and i know if it wasnt for the support that i had and the meds i would be a mess

Good luck, i hope that you do get the support and no horrible comments from those around you

[missmaisy]

hi there, i'm feeling for you right now!I was so determined NOT to go through it a second or third time, and thought i could fight it off myself.I hid it from everyone from my husband to my gp, and it didn't help one bit.By the time i was pregnant the third time, i said to my OB what happened after the other two, and he was great and set me up with prenatal councilling.Sounds boring, and i still ask myself why me, but it is what it is, and there's so much help available-reach out and grab it with both hands.I still feel guilty for making my husband watch me spiral into the depths of depression,but i'm slowly beginning to forgive myself.And you know what, my husband was more upset with me for hiding it from him, than he was for it happening again-which is just not your fault.NO ONE has the right to say i told you so.You deserve to be a mother again just as much as the next person.Having PND is not something we choose to get, and you've beat it before, and if that's what is rearing it's ugly head again, you'll beat it again. It will be a moment in time that you will get through.But it will be easier to share your feelings with your partner now, and seek help now , and maybe nip it in the bud, before things get tooo bad.Let him know what you are experiecing, and let him know what he can do to help.It may be something like extra reassurance or cuddles.A problem shared i say.Was he a help last time you expreinced pnd?Hope you a feeling good today.