Does anyone feel the stress???

[peta1410]

Do any of youi mummy's out there feel the stress of being a mum in this era? I want you all to feel free to b**ch and whinge as much as you want about anything that ticks you off or heap mounds and mounds of praise on something that you couldn't survive without. Example: me personally, I think there is way too much pressure on mums today to raise their kids the "right way". There's a book for this and a book for that. There are techniques for everything and if we aren't doing it a particular way then we're looked down on. I think we rely on health care professionals too much. I told my HCN that I was only going to bring my 4 month old baby in once a month from now on because I really don't think he needs to be weighed more than that. Another mum who was there said to me,"can we do that?" Mother's aren't even told that it's not compulsary to have your baby weighed but just recommended. I asked my mum if she had this much pressure when she was a mum and she said there was pressure but not like there is today. We have the pressure to feed our kids the "right" stuff. Even schools are dictating to us what we can and can't pack in our kid's lunches! My boy eats biscuits most days and if I was to listen to the professionals they would probably tell me I'm digging him a grave. Yet my boy is so active and eats healthy dinners, he brushes his teeth, sleeps a full nights sleep, has an active imagination and can count to ten on his own... and he's not even 3 yet. I don't want to made to feel like I'm doing something wrong when I cleary have a happy and healthy boy. It's time we are made to feel like the responsible parents we can be without the pressure to do it "their way". There are obviously parents out there who do need a little (or a lot) of encouragement to do the right thing and it's great that there is so much help out there if it's needed but most of us are doing it perfectly fine...leave us alone already!!!

I've had my rant, now it's your turn. PLEASE BE NICE. No judgements here.

[DivinelySophistimicated]

I know exactly what you mean! Agree 100%

I also think theres too much pressure about HOW we give birth...

I mean like, giving birth is a natural experience, please just let it happen, if it comes to the point you need drugs then have drugs if you need to have a cs then have one...Stay in hospital as long as you need to and if you cant breastfeed then dont stress and dont let it get you down....These things furiate me when people come on and say im not having this this and this and im leaving hospital at this time etc....Dont stress and just have your baby!

[peta1410]

Yes...breastfeeding is another one. I would have loved to have breastfed my sons but they were both premmies and because of problems with my breasts and the pumps I just couldn't do it. But I was made to feel like it was the best thing and that I simply had to endure the pain. I told them as politely as I could to shove it and that the best thing for both of us was for mummy to be healthy and happy. The nurses weren't happy but they got the message. Bottle feeding is not going to hurt babies and for some it's the only option but we're made to feel awful if that's the route we have to take.

[DivinelySophistimicated]

Yeah and circumcision!

Wow Peta I think were setting ourselves up for a bit of conflict here but IM NOT here to judge...

Im just trying to get the point across that people have different opinions and this world needs to relax a little bit...

Circumcision is not hacking at a baby etc people make it sound so cruel...but with saying that i dont think id get my DS (when i have one) circumcised that doesnt mean i look down on people for getting their bubs done because its their choice and im not here to judge!!

[mum2bubba]

Do any of youi mummy's out there feel the stress of being a mum in this era? I want you all to feel free to b**ch and whinge as much as you want about anything that ticks you off or heap mounds and mounds of praise on something that you couldn't survive without. Example: me personally, I think there is way too much pressure on mums today to raise their kids the "right way". There's a book for this and a book for that. There are techniques for everything and if we aren't doing it a particular way then we're looked down on. I think we rely on health care professionals too much. I told my HCN that I was only going to bring my 4 month old baby in once a month from now on because I really don't think he needs to be weighed more than that. Another mum who was there said to me,"can we do that?" Mother's aren't even told that it's not compulsary to have your baby weighed but just recommended. I asked my mum if she had this much pressure when she was a mum and she said there was pressure but not like there is today. We have the pressure to feed our kids the "right" stuff. Even schools are dictating to us what we can and can't pack in our kid's lunches! My boy eats biscuits most days and if I was to listen to the professionals they would probably tell me I'm digging him a grave. Yet my boy is so active and eats healthy dinners, he brushes his teeth, sleeps a full nights sleep, has an active imagination and can count to ten on his own... and he's not even 3 yet. I don't want to made to feel like I'm doing something wrong when I cleary have a happy and healthy boy. It's time we are made to feel like the responsible parents we can be without the pressure to do it "their way". There are obviously parents out there who do need a little (or a lot) of encouragement to do the right thing and it's great that there is so much help out there if it's needed but most of us are doing it perfectly fine...leave us alone already!!!

I've had my rant, now it's your turn. PLEASE BE NICE. No judgements here.

Totally agree with everything, I think its great in this day and age that we do have access to child health nurses and such but also great that its not compulsary, I haven't taken Skye to the MCHN since she was about 1 month old (shes 4 months now) though she is at my playgroup so I can just go in and weigh her myself if I want. Everyone always has an opinion weather its family, friends, 'professionals' etc. I think you gotta do what you think is best, it might not be the right decision but we're only human and hopefully learn from our mistakes. The best advice I got before I had kids (when I was pregnant with my first) was 'don't read any of the books' I think its good to get some advice IF you need/want it but at the end of the day its your decision (sp) how you raise your kids as long as they've got a roof over their heads, food in the stomachs etc and are happy, healthy and loved thats all that matters.

Also I get annoyed at people when they try and compare the kids with mine (or vice versa) each child is different and will reach his/her milestones when ready.

[mama2cierra]

amen to that mum2bubba



a lot of people have commented on how 'far behind' my DD is with speech and Toiletting and im like sheeesh....she'll get there when she is ready!
like maybe she will need grommets in her ears if she isnt speaking, coz maybe she can't hear right...ENOUGH already!!

Id hate to put pressure on kids, coz then they grow up too quickly and feel like they need to fill boots that are way to big for them to be accepted in society!

lets do the old school phrase and 'take a chill pill man'

[redMaple]

if it comes to the point you need drugs then have drugs if you need to have a cs then have one...Stay in hospital as long as you need to and if you cant breastfeed then dont stress and dont let it get you down....etc....Dont stress and just have your baby!

Im just trying to get the point across that people have different opinions and this world needs to relax a little bit...

Circumcision is not hacking at a baby etc people make it sound so cruel...but with saying that i dont think id get my DS (when i have one) circumcised that doesnt mean i look down on people for getting their bubs done because its their choice and im not here to judge!!

I couldn't agree more!! it applies to so many things too like discipline or safety only you know your own child better than anyone else and only you as their parent know whats best for your child.
There is pressure on children to grow up quickly - and on children to preform as well. Then there is sleeping - its not a reflection on the parent all kids are different some bubs do some don't.

Everyone needs more &
and less

[sja]

I hate when my MIL tries to tell me about a "horrible mother" she saw at the shops. The poor mum has usually done something that isn't ideal, but if you saw how I acted for the worst 5 minutes of my day you'd probably think I was an awful mum too. You never know what that woman's gone through that day, or if there's special circumstances involved. The worst part is that my MIL wants me to agree with her and b**ch about this mum that neither of us has met and I've never even seen!

I get so annoyed at mums that judge other mums that they don't even know. We all have bad days, we all do things we regret - if we're lucky we'll do them in private, but sometimes we will crack when out in public. And we're entitled to! Mums should support each other and if the kid is acting out and we don't know the mum, cut her a break and assume she's having an extremely bad day and that her kid is usually an angel.


I also hate how when I tell people my DS is now walking (or any other milestone) they'll nearly always ask how old his sisters were when they did that, and then comment on how he's doing compared to them. I don't compare my kids to each other, so why should anyone else?

[Jeffy]

I hate that people at work judge me for not staying at home, then judge those who do stay hom for needing assistance from Centrelink

I hate that vegemite sandwiches and biscuits were okay for me but are not for our kids - I'm healthy enough

I hate that there are 3,000 different types of bread these days instead of either white or multi grain.

I hate that I have to worry about Australian Made, Australian Owned, not tested on animals, kind ti the environment, recyclable and still fashionable enough so that people don't b**ch about me at work.

And I especially hate that DH and I both work full-time on similiar salaries but I am still expected to do way more at home and with bubs.


OK; Im done now.

[peta1410]

I hate when my MIL tries to tell me about a "horrible mother" she saw at the shops.

My mum had my nephew at the shops with her one day and he was being a total brat and had been all day. He did something really naughty and mum finally cracked and gave him a little spank. This woman gave mum such a dirty look and mum looked right back at her and said, "don't look at me like that, you can take him and see how you handle him!!!" . My older son is such a handful and he absolutely refuses to go into a pram so he has to walk. And he runs everywhere and sometimes he can run straight out into the carpark and I've had to chase after him and grab him. I get looks from people sometimes when I lose my cool and talk loudly to him. But I've been telling him the same thing ALL day and I've finally reached my limit. I hate that people who don't know what kind of day I've had OR what kind of child I have judge me.