Surrogacy, I want to!!

**earlybirdbabies** · 04-09-2007 09:24

I recently posted a message in a thread asking "if you would be a surrogate". I stated that I would be for my aunty as she has fallen pregnant many times but has had trouble carrying and can only remain preg until she is about 10 weeks then she miscarries. (severe endometiosis)

Recently I discovered she was pregnant, I didn't know how far, but I was sooooo happy for her and prayed this one would go to term. Sadly 2 days ago she miscarried and had to have it removed.

I want to let her know that I will go surrogate for her, though DH doesn't think it is such a good idea, but I also don't want to hurt her or make her uncomfortable and make her think that I think that I am this unstoppable baby making machine!! She was everything I wanted to be when I grew up, she was my fav aunty and was always there for me when I needed someone, she deserves kids and she is about to turn 40. What should I do and should I be offering this to her?

**waiting2B** · 04-09-2007 10:11

I have just sent you a private message
Karen

**moonblossom** · 04-09-2007 10:17

I think your offer would be wonderful. I would consider being a surrogate, but i'm 44 now and way past my time.

If younger though, I definately would of considered it, I couldnt donate my egg tho, and the embryo would have to be not genetically mine, but what a wonderful gift it would be.

Good luck on whatever you decide to do, I don't think there is any harm in putting your thoughts forward to her, who knows, it could be what she REALLY wants to hear.

**earlybirdbabies** · 04-09-2007 13:14

Well I'm 24 with 4 boys and 1 more on the way, so I'm quite good at getting pregnant,

though I have had some difficulties in my pregnancies, So I would love to do it for her, but it's expressing that I would love to do it I can't figure out how!! Would I say " hey look, if you'd like, I'll carry it for you, you just fertilise it in a dish and away we go"? Or "Hey I'd like to offer my uterus for you to grow your own baby in??"

How do I say it?? I'm a little unsure and also the hubby still needs convincing! Any recommendations on how to tell her or offer her the surrogacy would be appreciated!!

**Mumof6** · 04-09-2007 13:21

Maybe bring up the subject in a general conversation... say you were reading an article on line ....

find out how she feels about it... is it something she would consider... then say that you think it would be something you would do...

the rest of the conversation should flow.

having said that... Id be getting my DH support before offering to do something like this... it will effect him as well, and he really needs to be OK with it, for it to work for your whole family.

best of luck

**moonblossom** · 04-09-2007 18:31

WOW, yeah I can see the people lining up for someone my age LOL

But thank you Jacinta...

**Jennifer85** · 04-09-2007 18:41

My sister asked me to be a surrogant mother for her, i said yes but also added not just now..
as she would have done it to "save" her marraige, i said if she can prove over time that her and her husbands relationship has got better and is more stable than i would be happy, but i wont just now..

i think its great you want to do this, you will prolly find your aunty will be more gratefull the offer is there than anything.

**nemosmum** · 04-09-2007 18:48

WOW I think its amazing!

I would do it in a heart beat for my sis (if she ever asked me too)

I think it would be awesome to give this gift to her (my sis) as she would make an excellent mother and her hubby would be such a great dad

Gd luck I hope it all works out for you and your fave aunty

**moonblossom** · 04-09-2007 19:26

I've just been doing a little bit of research on surrogacy, and is it true what i read? it is illegal in S.A. to be one?

Surely not!!! I mean how is it legal, to donate eggs or sperm, which is a part of your genetics, yet not carry a baby for someone else?

Is it just me or is this crazy???

**earlybirdbabies** · 04-09-2007 20:35

There are no chromosone problems it's just that the embryo can't attach itself properly because of her severe endometriosis...

So after 7 failed pregnancies, with 3 dads, over time I can't imagine how she would be feeling. She had her 9 week old removed yesterday

and there would be only so much a women can take..

How many times can you m/c until you start to think it's never gonna happen?? How would you feel if someone offered this to you (if you were in this situation)?? And I think having their egg and sperm (GS) is the ONLY way to go!! For this situation anyways... It makes me kinda angry that she can't have babies cause she is one person I BELIEVE should be having kids, she has so much love to give!! I've always said that I would do it, but I think she's just shrugged it off, not as a serious offer. Thanks for your support and comments, I like reading what others think of this...