Just letting of some feelings.
I started having kids when I was 18, life was good it had it's ups and it's downs.
Now I am at the age were I have what feels like started all over again. I have a 2 year old and a 9 week old.
I don't reget having them, but I an morning missing the life I thought I was going to have.
At 42 I could be working going places doing all the things I didn't get to do when I was younger.
I did go once to a playgroup but it was full of 20 somethings ( nothing against the age group) talking about partying nightclubs makeup clothes. All to me boring now I am older.
I am not into talking about all the baby stuff i have had 6 kids, I just want to have a mature adult conversation about the world and the goings on.
I know there are mums out there who are the same age as myself but not close to me.
I sit at home and listen to kids tv play playdoh and games. My brain wants more. I don't have anyone to talk to anymore, since everyone of my friends don't have small kids thier have all grown up.
I just see them getting on with their lives and me stating again.
Hubby goes to work has adult interaction and comes home, he is good with the kids. he'll feed the baby or play with mr 2.
I get so jealous of the fact that he what feels like has a life other than 4 walls. I know work sucks for him and he is happy when at home with me and the kids.
I really don't know how to get over this hump at the moment.
I even have grandkids, I love seeing them and playing with them and I feel comfortable being older around them.
I do feel funny when I have my 2 and get told aren't your grandkids lovely . Sorry they are mine.
I wanted to travel, so many things that I can't do now.
I wish I had an answer but I don't. I have never felt this lonely in my life before.
Thanks for letting me get some of it of my chest.
Stay tuned there will be more