when your keen but your dp/dh isnt?

[bronny-jane]

i know i could have a free birth, ive have great births, although ive never given birth with out pethidine or being induced
im not worried about the baby, i mean all my dd's came out fine, even their heads were perfect shape ...

but my dh on the other hand isnt keen... im not sure why, i know he doesnt like seeing me in pain, and thinks that a hospital is safer... i dont think he'll change his mind.... so what do you do?

[bronny-jane]

any one?

[Noah_and_Elijah]

Chain yourself to the bath tub and telling him it's happening here and now whether he likes it or not!

[punkbaby]

Is he scared of the what ifs that could happen? My dh is the opposite even though he couldnt do anything he would rather i had bubs at home but i am a sook so will go to hospital LOL

Maybe its the fact that he wont know what to do or he will feel helpless during the birth? Just a thought maybe

[Pippi Longstocking]

It's pretty simple really - when your DH is pregnant, he can give birth wherever he feels most comfortable. Same goes for you.

[Chelle123]

Sorry, I've got no advice BJ but I myself, would rather be in hospital. Saying that, I had retained placenta last pg and was in theatre within 45mins and lost 2.5L blood.

Do you live far from the hospy? Maybe you could come to some agreement with DH that if things go on too long, you will go, or something like that.

[AM]

It is a hard one, i'm kind of in the same boat, but my dh is already on board with hb, so fb isn't SO great a jump, but I know he really really freaks out if he thinks no-one else will be there, as he then sees it as being HIS responsibility, when of course it is not, it is mine, but my approach so far is to tell him to go to the pub while I have the baby!

Probably not recommended, but it works for us.

I guess my feelings whenever I see this crop up is that it is your body, and you are the one going through the labour and birth, and if you are forced into doing it in a way you are not comfortable with, then you are the one who is going to bear the scars if you have a traumatic experience, and I would simply not allow that to happen with me.

All the best, I have known men who have been totally against the whole thing to become very supportive after a little education, after all, we fear what we do not understand.

[bronny-jane]

it takes 20 mins to get to hospital... although we live around the corner from one, they dont do births in our town...
im going to get him to read a heap of info on it...
im going to try anyway, if i need to go to hospital i will.. i mean ive had 3 great births there, so im not anti hospital... its just this is going to be my last birth... so i want it to be powerful, my own power, no one elses..

if he is still not up for it, i wont tell him im in labour until its too late to leave

[kymmy]

My husband is weary of a freebirth. I think a home birth would be fine but maybe he doesn't trust himself to know what to do. I said I don't mind even birthing on my own.

[AM]

I think that is the key kimmy, most men seem to think that they have to DO something, when in actual fact the opposite is true

Just be there, observe, support. I guess the male species in general finds that a tough assignment

If you print out a copy of Emergency Childbirth and put it in the toilet, hopefully he will read it, and be reassured by the fact that it goes on and on about birth being a normal physiological process, and the best treatment of it is HANDS OFF!!