Questioning

**Alekay** · 14-08-2007 10:23

I was raised in a small christian church that has no name very strict on what you can and cant do what you wear and that you are not ment to mix with people that dont go to this church i guess you get the picture and for the last few years i have been questioning it. For as long as i can remember i have been told that if you dont go to this church that thats it and this is the way that you have to follow. An example is that we have a TV and growing up we never had one but mum and dad dont know that we have one as we put it away every time they come here as i just dont think its worth the greif of them finding out beceuse when mum found out that i went to the movies she burst into tears and was really upset and angry about it but even though i have still never backed down about that. I do believe in God but i just dont think we are ment to be so judgemental.

So is this normal to question all of this or am i just being stupid?

**~Emmylou~** · 14-08-2007 10:29

I think it's very normal to question it - in fact I'd say it would be abnormal NOT to question it.

I think everyone, no matter what their faith or belief goes through periods where they re-examine what they believe. This is normal and healthy and a sign that you still have an enquiring mind and are thinking for yourself.

The faith you've been raised in does not seem to encourage that so I understand you feel conflicted. But we all have to make up our own minds about these things, don't ever let anyone make you feel that they know better than you do how you should live your life

**Chelle123** · 14-08-2007 10:33

I don't think you're stupid, it was the way you were raised but it normal and healthy to question everything and you have the right to live your life how you choose. As for your parents, what they don't know, won't hurt them.

I don't want to be judgemental because I don't know your whole situation. However I grew up Catholic & I know what it like to have to go to church as a kid when nobody else does.

**Alekay** · 14-08-2007 10:39

Thanks guys this has come up since i had my 1st DD and not wanting her to go though what i did due to not fitting in with people who go to the church and having to do what i was told untill i moved out so then of coures o wnet a bit wild as i would rather my kids be able to tell me what they are up to instead of hiding it like i did. I am just not sure it is right that a church and its prechers should have that much say in things like clothing who you marry the way you wear your hair and what you do in your free time.

**Mister Noodle** · 14-08-2007 10:57

The truth is not damaged by asking questions, or by finding answers.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, does not go away.

This isn't a road-runner cartoon. Gravity doesn't only kick in after you look down and see nothing beneath your feet.

If something's holding you up, then looking down won't take it away.

Anything that needs to be guarded by forbidding questions must be a lie.

A common lie is "Only I can lead you across the chasm you're suspended above. Look only at me - if you look down, you're doomed".

If you realised you were on solid ground, you wouldn't need them - and they can't handle that. They need the power. (not to mention the collection plate...)

If you love something, set it free. If it loves you back, it will walk at your side of its own volition, with no cage to keep it there. Or perhaps it will walk its own path, and strike out for itself. Either way, you should be happy for it.

Be free.

**Chelle123** · 14-08-2007 11:40

That's great advice Mister Noodle!

**Tea Lady** · 14-08-2007 12:31

You said it's a christian church you were raised in - in that case they should be teaching what the Bible says about how to live.

My suggestion is to read the Bible for yourself and see what IT says and follow that - people are unfortunately able to get things terribly wrong, but the Bible won't take you down the wrong path.

I'm happy to talk to you more about it if you like - I've done alot of thinking about things like this as I've grown up, and I do some things differently to my family as well (although my upbringing wasn't as strict as yours).

HTH

**nattytheratty** · 14-08-2007 12:45

Originally Posted by Tea Lady

You said it's a christian church you were raised in - in that case they should be teaching what the Bible says about how to live.

My suggestion is to read the Bible for yourself and see what IT says and follow that - people are unfortunately able to get things terribly wrong, but the Bible won't take you down the wrong path.

Wise words there...

Definitely not what the bible teaches...and you are right to question your beliefs. My best friend grew up in a church that sounds very similar to this and could easily have turned away from God. I think reading the bible for yourself and asking God personally what does this mean for me and how do you want me to raise my family is the best advice I can give.

It must be hard though to have to hide things from your mum.

My DH grew up as a Catholic and we now both go to a prettly lively AOG church and are expecting our first bub in 2 days - and his mum is really struggling with the fact that I don't believe in baptising my baby. But at the end of the day, you have to raise your family the way you believe is right in your heart, and hopefully give them the freedom and power to make their own wise decisions when they are old enough.

All the best!

**Alekay** · 14-08-2007 12:54

Thank you Mister Noodle

I do agree with all you wrote

Tea Lady

i do agree with you and have been doing what you said which i guess this is part of where this has all come from.

I think this is all a bit difficult as its hard to go against something that you have been told 3 times a week by preachers and then your parents as well and also when my whole famliy is in the church and alot of my friends are also not so much since we moved 12 hrs away but DH family is also in the church as well and we live around them

**FunkyMonkey** · 14-08-2007 13:04

I was raised as a JW and found it to be very restricting. I was taught that other religions were evil, and those not "in the truth" would all perish in the coming Armageddon. Funnily enough it was one of their own publications that convinced me it was all bull.
Due to this, my father and one of my sisters will no longer see me. Dad has met my son once and my sis has only seen photos. What a fair and forgiving religion.
I believe in God and Jesus, but cannot prescribe to just one religion.
Question everything, if it feels wrong for you, IT IS!