firstly I would like to thank all those that replied to my previous thread about being homesick, it really helped to know that I am not alone in my feelings.
It actually took me only a few days to feel better, I think it was easier this time as I had a life here to come back in to where as when we first arrived we had no home, no friends and no knowledge of life over here.
I felt a little (well a lot!) homesick the last few days though, my big brother got married and my whole family was there except me. We never thought he would get married as he lost his long term partner very suddenly to brain tumour when she was just 33, so to see him finally get married would have been great. Of course dh doesn't seem to understand, he has made no acknowledgement that me and the boys have missed out and how special it would have been for us, I think that hurts more than anything. How can men just switch off emotions like that? How can they make such a clean cut from family?
We are in our usual dilemme of do we apply for permannt residency or go home when our visa runs out, I want to go home but I have said that I am OK to stay as I know it is better for the kids here, better for dh with commuting and I am not unhappy but he has done nothing about putting the wheels of motion in place. The longer he leaves it the longer we are going to have to wait, the older we will be and the less chance of getting the residency.
He doesn't understand that whilst he is faffing about we are losing the opportunity to send our eldest son to the best local school in our area in the UK. If we are not staying here I need to be involved in the community we lived in as the school is a selcted school and you have to prove you are involved in the church and community. This was not a problem as before we came I was, without even realising that this criteria was needed and now I am not. I gave up all the groups I ran and was involved with to come here for a year...18 months later...
I think it is all part of his game plan, make it so that we cannot go back as our sons schooling will be all screwed up and we won't send him to the local secondary, we can't afford prviate for 3 kids over there but we can here!
I am OK here though, I just feel so very isolated at times and I cut myself off, not having any people around me that have known me for years and understand me is hard work. I often feel sad about our little Thomas who died at birth, his ashes were spread in the Uk so I feel so far away from him. I need people around me who were around me when he died and know what we went through but no one is and dh wont talk about him. It is almost 5 years now since he died but I still miss him so much. I want to be able to mention him in coversation without people asking me who he was and what happened, I want them just to know.
Sorry I am rambling a bit but I figure you guys are probably the ones that understand my isolation the most, despite being surrounded by immediate family and friends I feel so alone at times.
Thanks for reading