How do I know?

[busylizzy]

Just wondering if anyone can help ease my mind? My DS is thirteen months & has just started childcare. My question is - how do I know if I have chosen the right childcare centre for him? How do I know if it's good? Also, I know they usually go through an adjustment period settling in, how long should this last? And, does every mother feel guilty when they drop their child off @ childcare? Questions! Questions! Questions! HELP ME PLEASE!

Liz.

[Baileyjaysmum]

Hi

I went back to work when DS was 7months old and I felt very guilty and cried the first couple of weeks when I dropped him off. From day one I had a bad feeling about the place. His carers werent very people orientated and didnt really talk to me or tell me about what he had done that day. And from the day I put him in there he was sick, the runs, ear infections, cold. I know that this is probably pretty normal but I didnt think they were very clean. I had my name down at other childcare centre and within a month I got Bailey into a new centre that had opened near our house. From the first day I left Bailey there I felt at ease and didnt feel guilty leaving him there. The carers are so good with the kids and communicate really well with the parents. When he was in the nursery they had a book that was sent home everyday to let the parents know what they did. He is now in the toddlers room and loves it. He cries when we pick him up because he wants to stay. I personally think it was the best thing to do to put him in care three days a week while I am at work as he loves being with kids and socialising. It was the best deceision to change centres.

I think you just know if it is right or not and dont worry it wont take too long for your DS to settle in before you know he wont want to leave.

[whatwasithinking]

Trust your instinct. Do you feel comfortable.
It can take anything between 1day to at least a month or so for settling in - just depends on the child. My first DD took over 5wks to settle in child care and my second DD only took a day!
I did feel guilty for a while but in the end I had my reasons so I felt justified to myself (you do not have to justify yourself to anyone else).
If I think of any other advice I'll let you know.
Chin up - you and bubs will be fine I promise.

[Cheekychops]

Ok.....take him out if he gets sick all the time!! The centre isn't clean/careful enough....my DS1 ended up in hospital twice and DS2 in once in a period of only 2 1/2 months going one day a week at one daycare centre so I pulled them out....I didn't send them back for ages....then I heard the centre I had sent them to was taken over by another company and everything was tossed out, even the playground and grass etc was scraped off and returfed and people were raving about it, so I went back to it and checked it out....it was heaps better. Kids have been going one day a week for the past 13 months and no bad illnesses!!! If you are uncomfortable - trust your instincts.....spend some time there, you will soon know if you feel good about it or not!! Depending on how often he goes (one day or five) as to how long it will take to settle in - give it a good 4-6 weeks I reckon. Yes, most mothers feel a bit guilty at first, but when he starts having heaps of fun, you will start feeling less and less guilty. Hope this helps...

[rynosmum]

My son has been to daycare 3 days per week since I went back to work fulltime when he was 4.5 months old (he is now almost 20 months).

He loves daycare, the girls are great and even came to his birthday party, he loves the toys, the activities etc.

I feel guilty every time I leave him there. Guilty for working, guilty for leaving him (even though 9 times out of 10 he is just so excited to be there). I just adore him and I always miss him.

[busylizzy]

Thank you guys. I think I'll change childcare centres. Like you said, I just don't feel 100%.

Cheekychops - that sounds very scary

Liz.

[Narelle]

I took Chloe to childcare today for a couple of hours orientation and now I feel all upset and stressed. The carers seemed ok but not really up to the standard I would like, are my expectations to high? Will I be able to find somewhere that's perfect or should I stop being so picky?

[busylizzy]

I didn't even get an orientation. After I dropped him off & got back to the car I burst into tears. I wonder if my expectations are too high too. But it's hard not to have high expectations when you're putting the health, safety & happiness of your precious little baby in the hands of someone else, someone you don't even know.

Liz.

[whatwasithinking]

You should have a least been offered an orientation.

Nup sounds like you are not happy and a sad mummy makes a sad baby.

[Narelle]

I doubt we would ever find the perfect place with no faults and I guess it's unfair to compare our own one on one care with their five to one ratio. But I just feel like crap which doesn't make going back to work any easier!