How much say did you get about when and how you birthed??

**Hathor** · 13-07-2007 01:57

Im just wondering with your bubs how much say did you get in your birthing options?
Was it simply what pain relief you had?
When you wanted your CS,or induction?
Was it going beyond the magic 42
Or did the doctors pretty much take control and you simply had to sit back until they were good and ready?

Im due to give birth to my second bub late this month/early next. After complications arising due to being overdue and induced last pregnancy, I ended up with a very traumatic birth. The obs are quite happy to let me keep going to 42 weeks yet again however I am dead against the thought and it makes me sick to the stomache. I am just wondering how much Say did you get?
and Why the heck are my requests being brushed off? As a second time mother I really feel I should have a little more say towards when and how things should happen this time. I've been down the 'faith in the medical system' path and that faith is no longer there.

So Your experiences/opinions would be much appreciated, as well as some tips to getting my point across to doctors that know everything.

**melannh** · 13-07-2007 05:46

It appears that you are having some difficulty with your requests - and as you've already had a traumatic birthing experience - I would have thought your requests would have been taken very seriously.....

In my experience, I had alot of say. On my first visit to the obstetrician (whom I'd discussed 'assistance' to fall pregnant only 6 weeks before being there pregnant naturally) I spoke of my concerns and my major one being "PAIN".... I explained that I was rather pathetic, and openly admit it - therefore, epidural was the ONLY Option - apart from elective caesar.... He listened, and instantly put EPIDURAL on my file.... I was back and forth on the elective caesar all during my pregnancy - and although he was encouraging me to have a natural birth (ended in emergency caesar, but that's another story) he was always willing to perform an elective.
I don't know if this was due to being in a private hospital situation. As for the public system - I am not overly aware of their procedures etc....
I was just adamant that I wanted to be as comfortable (as possible) with my birthing experience, as I was aware that if I wasn't - that just impedes on my baby's health....
I guess I just expressed myself in a confident way - and basically went through it all, listened to the options and made my call from there.
I was overdue by 5 days - and my obst. wouldn't let me go any further than that.... I had a really good pregnancy - no blood pressure prob's or sugar.... So, I just think it depends on who you're dealing with, but I hope I can encourage you to REALLY SPEAK OUT and be comfortable with your situation.

GOOD LUCK

**bronny-jane** · 13-07-2007 06:50

i had a lot of say... with zoe only because me and my doctor were concerned about how she would cope being inside me for too long... in my case i was at a high risk of the placenta failing because of previous problems in my pg.... so we attempted inducement the day after her due date,,then the next day..and it worked then...

when they thought the baby and i would be fine... it was up to them really...

tell them your concerns....

my doctors never let me hit 42 weeks... 41 weeks... and then induced

**bekkyboo** · 13-07-2007 07:01

I thought i had a lot of say, but when it all came down to it, i didnt have a lot.

They had agreed that it was mine and hubbies call on when to go for c'section, as i was high risk because of my heart, and hubby and i alone know my behaviours when im starting to not cope. But they sent him home during the labour as "i wasnt far along and nothing was happening" - my waters broke and they pretty much took over from there on in.

Next time i will be putting my foot down.

**neostudded** · 13-07-2007 07:06

Iam sorry bekkyboo

**nemosmum** · 13-07-2007 07:18

DS~

how much say did you get in your birthing options?
Pretty much none at the end

Was it simply what pain relief you had?I was so unprepared I took what ever pain relief they offered

When you wanted your CS,or induction?They insisted I have an induction telling me I would be putting my babe at risk otherwise (they didnt even do a scan to check bub was ok)

Was it going beyond the magic 42
Almost both bubs were 12 days late

Your first birth sounds alot like my first one

*12 days late and the docs insisted I be induced which lead to
*complications
*drugs
*intervention
* traumatic birth for both me and bubs!
*seperation of me and my bub for almost 10 hours leading I believe to bonding problems, bfing trouble and later PND

My second I went through a birthing centre

I got to choose my pain relief,
how I wanted to birth,
As I went Over again the middies where so helpful with giving me natural methods of induction
I found out so much stuff that no one told me last time

I was booked in for an induction BUT the night before I went into labour and within an hour and a bit Bubs was out safe and sound no drugs and it was a beautiful experience,
I got to stay with my baby the whole time and got to leave 5hrs after bubs was born
Its amazing the difference a great birth can make
I bonded straight away with my baby, love bfing and have had no reoccuring PND!
I feel GREAT!

Gd luck with your birth hun I hope its amazing

**Hokey Pokey** · 13-07-2007 08:42

They pretty much left us in peace during labour, just came in did their checks and off they went. When it came to pushing I was on my hands and knees which I wanted but then we had some problems so I had to turn onto my back so they could pull her out.

**ikis84** · 13-07-2007 09:18

Pretty much none. I wish I was more assertive. So much for 'informed consent'. This time I am hiring an independent midwife and having a homebirth. The hospital can shove their policies up their ***.

**luckymama** · 13-07-2007 09:21

Originally Posted by ikis84

Pretty much none. I wish I was more assertive. So much for 'informed consent'. This time I am hiring an independent midwife and having a homebirth. The hospital can shove their policies up their ***.

Go Ikis

**Shanaynay** · 13-07-2007 09:31

Hathor

I totally understand your frustration and feelings, and know exactly the fear you feel right now. Exactly.

But I think in my case it was a little easier, because whereas you want the hospital to actually DO something (ie. not let you go to 42 weeks), I was the opposite, I didn't want them to touch me.

I think it's probably easier to insist they leave you alone than to insist they actually intervene and do something iykwim.

I can see why they are brushing you off, but can't explain it.... I guess they think/know (none of us can ever really predict what is going to happen in birth) that the best thing is to leave you alone till intervention is NEEDED.

Which is great in most cases - but when a patient is so nervous, so fearful, and feeling sick to the stomach (I know all those feelings!), then they really need to take that into consideration.

I know it doesn't help, but chances are you won't even get to 42 weeks, you'll go into labour spontaneously and everything will be fine

But I know it doesn't mean anything to hear that when you are the one about to go through it all

I don't think there's really anything I can say except that I know EXACTLY what you are feeling right now (although I had different concerns) and if you need me at all, at anytime, day or night, I am here