Just my husband? Or is it the entire male species?

**Seekrit** · 12-07-2007 18:58

Do they have no understanding of responsibility? and what it means?

Chris hasn't been home on time for the last 4 weeks... then last weekend he was at his mate's, playing computer games (a monthly engagement) from work's end, Friday until 12.30am Monday morning!!

Today he called me to let me know he'd be late - again - and "by the way, I'm going to Phil's overnight friday to play guild wars."

What the hell? Surely he understands that that's not okay. I work too - when the hell do I get a break?
Lately dinner is cooked with Cobes on the hip because otherwise he's doing his kestrel impression while tugging on my skirt, dinner is rushed and quickly followed by a joint shower and a fight to bed... when I bring it up he tells me he knows I'm tired and understands why but... "I'm making money for us.. what do you want me to do??!" it's not like he gets overtime or anything for these extra hours...

I'm so tired of it. So very tired.

(despite two whingie at my husband threads, I do love him dearly. He just infuriates me)

TJ · 12-07-2007 19:00

for him!!
and

for you!!!

and NO its not just your hubby!!! I think its most males.

**BlakeNatsMum** · 12-07-2007 19:05

Nope, I would definitely have a few words with him over that one. There is no way I would put up with that! I think he needs to start pulling his weight more and helping you out. Sure, he works, and is entitled to spend some time with his mates but his Partner and his child should come first!.. As you said as well... you work as well, when does he offer to stay at home while you go out and have time for yourself?..

My DF is good, he comes home and helps me with the kids, get them showered and into bed. Otherwise he would be given his marching orders! I don't technically have a "paid position" but my job is looking after our children...

I would definitely be sitting him down and telling him how it makes you feel, and make sure that he listens to you, I dont think its fair how he is treating you right now. He seems to be living like he's living a single life.. Tell him to shape up or ship out!...

Im available for a chat if you need one!..

Jen.

**flib** · 12-07-2007 19:47

I have problems with my DP working late - he's not home yet tonight! It drives me crazy having to deal with 3 kids on my own every night. Tonight I rang him and said we had to talk about work etc again. I'm not working ATM but will be back again in December. It is hard to negotiate as the bills do need to get paid....

But playing computer games all weekend with a mate - I'd say 'grow up!!'. My DP wouldn't do that. When he is at home he's totally hands on.

Best wishes and yeah I think this is a common problem.

**our little treasures** · 12-07-2007 19:49

My hubby is getting phone calls at work if he is 20mns late!! No way would he be out all the time

**lynn** · 12-07-2007 19:58

i'ld rather be by myself and struggle than have a dp that did that imo..

**shed** · 12-07-2007 20:04

Nope, **** that. I am a SAHM again now and since returning to my SAHM role I have been feeling a bit more domesticated, happily planning meals and cooking dinner etc, but DP has to look after bubby while I do this and I also insist on having some time to myself in the evenings, such as right now.

My job during the day is to look after our son, DP's job is the one he goes to. When he gets home the parenting resumes, which is roughly half/half. Well, probably not half/half, but I am happy with the ratio and that's the main thing.

I do the night feeds so if he thinks I am doing absolutely everything he's got a nuvver think comink.

He plays golf once a month and if he got too smart he wouldn't be doing that.

One looks after bubby while the other cooks dinner. This is our system ever since bubby burnt his hand on the oven door. Its not negotiable.

You need to get tough Seekrit, or you will end up a frazzled wreck.

**Mokar** · 12-07-2007 20:20

My DF is the same.

They just dont get it.

I think we should all go on a retreat and leave them with the kids for a week. See how they go

**Leeny** · 12-07-2007 20:23

Its the entire male species

...I too, am married to a game nerd, whos life revolves around games....Although this week he did say to me, that he was starting to feel that games wern't as important anymore.

But yes. All men i think.