My DD, who is nearly six has the pleasure of spending every second weekend with her bio dad. She stays overnight and hasn't really taken to the sleeping over part.
When she first started sleeping over, she used to ring us up and we could console her, talk to her etc. etc.
For the last few visits, she has not been allowed to use the phone to ring us up. She tells us that she is not allowed to ring home, or that she is only allowed to ring up when she is not upset.
Biodad has an acquired brain injury and simply has no empathy and can't see how things he does affect DD. In all honesty it is pointless trying to explain things to him, court appointed psychiatrists agree.
Not being able to use the phone or being to frightened to ask to use phone was adding extra stress to DD. So, we went out and got her this children's mobile phone. You control what numbers can be rung and received on the phone. It is very easy to use. DD was happy to have it and at the time felt confident that she would be able to use it.
So we send her off on the weekend and tell bio that DD has the phone. I am certain he didn't hear because he was raving on about something else. Sunday afternoon comes around and we go to pick her up. Ask her about the phone and she says that she showed bio's girlfriend and she took it off her and gave it to bio and she wasn't allowed to use it and didn't get it back until they were in the car to drop her off.
Was giving her the phone such a bad thing? There is no point trying to talk to bio, or his girlfriend, you can't even do the mummy guilt thing with her - 'how would you feel if it was your daughter who wanted to ring home? Why not just let her ring home? Makes me a very sad Sop .