Any Social Anxiety Sufferers?

[tinania]

OK, this is going to be lengthy - I could write a novel on all this, trust me, so sorry in advance.

I haven't been to see a Doctor -
(First I have to get on the phone and MAKE the appointment; then I have to get the guts up to actually go and sit there with other people; then I have to be able to get my problem across to the doctor - despite my loss of the ability to have a normal conversation around people I am not comfortable with and then all the thoughts I'd be having of whether he's laughing at me or thinking I am ridiculous or a hypochondriac etc, or whether he's taking me seriously at all and it will all be worth telling him in the first place - and THEN I'd probably be sent to see someone else and go through it all again or given tablets I don't know that I want to take or be told there is nothing wrong with me, I'm imagining it, go home.) *pant* Sorry, that was long-winded.

The idea of all scares me, and so I haven't been officially diagnosed or anything. I avoid going to the doctors unless absolutely necessary, like a hell of a lot of other social situations - but from what I have read on the internet, social anxiety - or something similar, but I'm hesitant to self-diagnose any further - is what has been plaguing me since, well, at least my teenage years.

I've put up with it for several years at least (not sure at what point my childhood shyness developed into something that keeps me from friends and a normal functioning life), but since I left school (I didn't graduate, I dropped out, and a good part of the reason was because I was failing in the classes that I had no friends in) I've found that I hardly see my friends, and the majority of the time I only communicate with them online. I also hate going out to do the shopping etc and mostly won't go out at all unless my partner comes along with me - that makes it a bit better.

I don't get panic attacks, but I can get very stressed out leading up to a social event and I'll often put things off because I don't want to face doing them. I have a 2 year old daughter who I feel misses out because of all this. For example, I don't take her to the park down the road to play, because I find it hard to stay put there for 2 minutes without getting the urge to run home and get away from all the people potentially watching me from their cars or houses and criticising me.

I started taking her to playgroup, accompanied by a friend - there was no way I would have started going alone! - and this pregnancy (I'm due to have a boy on the 7/7!!) has made soup out of brain and helped me to analyse social interactions that little bit less, helping me run in to a store and grab a couple of groceries rather than go hungry until my partner comes home... but with less than a week until bub comes I'm starting to worry about things going back to even refusal to do that


Anyway, just wondering if there is anyone else on these forums that suffers from similar? And if so, how have they coped? And how has it affected their family life as well? I mean, I know there is drugs and things like group-therapy to try (if the latter would even be available in my area) but that would mean getting out and about to start with, which is just hard. What things has anyone done that might help get the going-out and coping started? I'm really sick of this, and I know to have the best life for my children I need to DO something, but I just keep avoiding doing that something about it in the first place

[Unsure]

Hi, I just noticed all the views but no replies, I'm sorry but I'm too tired to read your post at the moment I'll try to later...

[fludo]

Hi Titania. I am/was a social anxiety sufferer. I don't know what box to put myself in now as when untreated (I am "permanently" on meds) I get panic attacks, generalised anxiety in high levels that lasts all day regardless of what I do or where I am. But it started as social anxiety and that is what I was diagnosed with.

I hid it for years and years, bought self-help books and tried to fix myself so i wouldn't have to go get help, because getting help meant going to the doctor or counsellor, which means making an apppointment - being required to be at a certain place at a certain time freaked me out - and having to say what was wrong with me.

But, I realised I would never get better until I got over being worried what people would think about my disorder, and you cant' get over that until you start telling people and see how they react! And best person to go to in the start, unless you have good family and friends, is a doc or counsellor, as you can be pretty sure they will be supportive!

I did counselling with a wonderful lady in Brisbane. But have found for me, I need meds. I live a completely normal life now and don't consider myself socially anxious anymore, although I am still not the most comfortable person in social situations. The fact you don't have panic attacks could mean you don't need meds. meds are often used when you are so screwed up you can't think properly, so there is no point doing cognitive therapy as your brain is just not up to it. The idea is the meds get you back to thinking mostly like a normal human being! and then you can deal with your issues. For most people, they can then come off the meds and don't need them anymore. for me, my anxiety began developing at the age of 10, so I really feel I have a chemical imbalance, and always relapse terribly when off meds. but I've come to accept that for now.

Hope this helps somewhat.

[Luvem]

Hi Tanania, I have been pretty much the same as you and have been petrified to start meds for some reason, until 3 weeks ago when I was seeing the doc for something unrelated and burst into tears and couldnt stop raving on about how miserable I felt, and it wasnt the first time I had done that, so we had a D&M and she finally gave me a script which I actually filled and took!I was so suprised at myself, and admittadly I had the worst 3 weeks of my life but I think I am starting to feel better in the last couple of days, I guess I just got to a point where I had given in, I couldnt manage anything and I was emotionless. I couldnt admit it for so long and realized it had been years and years that I had been suffering it.
DH does the shopping a lot, and work is just a nightmare for me!
I dont really have any friends anymore because I just cant keep up the mood and facade (is that a word) anyway its just to much like hard work, I cant do it.
I definately suggest you see a counsellor, I have only seen mine once and I am desperate to get back to see her, cos Im starving for more info on this, Knowledge is eveything.LOL
Best of luck, keep us posted. I think it helps me to read about other peoples experience too.

[tinania]

Thanks guys for taking the time to have a look

Unsure - No worries!
Fludo - The internet is a good place for me to start talking about it, practising talking about it, even if it is just typing it.
*sigh* I guess after this baby is born, I'm going to have to go see a Dr, even if I have to get my partner to make the appt and drag me along. I mean, if he doesn't take me seriously or tries to give me something I don't want to take, then I don't HAVE to go back to him. I just wish it was easier to go in the first place, lol.
I would LOVE to live a normal life, go places, see people, and I'm sure my kids would too.
The meds you were given... did/do they make you any different? Change you as a person? Make you less... I don't know, lucid or anything? I'm afraid that if that's what the dr says I need, that it's going to make me become someone else or alter my moods in a bad way or something.
Luvem - Actually, you word things well. It gets me down when I know that I should be able to go out or talk to people easily, yet can't seem to do it. And yeah. I have, what, 2 people I could still call my friends that I hardly see, and I just can't - and seemingly don't want to - make new friends. Even online, it's hard to kind of care about people and show an interest, like, it's an effort, even if I'm really lonely and the people are lovely. (I think that's why I have trouble in forums making friends, lol)
I would love to see a counsellor. COs I really feel that talking to someone and getting feedback and all would help. I just hate the thought that I have to go through a doctor to see one first, and then the counsellor I get might not be the nice, listening person I imagine they might be. Grr.
Once again, I guess I'll have to try and make myself get an appointment with a dr when baby comes. I'm not going to do it now, at any rate, with bub due.

[becca74]

Hi Girls, big

I had SAD in an extreme form a couple of years ago, peaking when I got pregnant with DS4. I used cognitive therapy though, and it worked brilliantly! I was really unwell, couldnt leave the house (couldnt leave my bed actually), would hyperventilate if I had to speak to anyone, couldnt look anyone in the eye. I was on the verge of suicidal.

I still have residual issues, but if 18 months ago was a 10, then right now I'm about a 3.

I'm considering going back to a therapist, but at the moment I am trying to utilise affirmations and positive self talk, as well as go over the relaxation techniques my Psycologist gave me. I think my residual issues are coming up again as I've just changed my children's school and I have to get used to the new mums again.....I am finding myself falling into my old habits of keeping my head down and keeping to myself if at all possible. I have so far never been able to truly rid myself of my phone phobia...

I also found that my S.A.D. became worse because of other anxiety disorders I had...so it will resurface when I am overwhelmed, physically unwell, or thrust into a new situation without preparation, for example.

I would definately reccomend cognitive therapy, even if you are using meds....though I've been one to want to try to avoid meds.

It's not easy.....we all must go gently