Planned VBAC ending in Caesarean - how did you feel?

[SassyMummy]

As you all probably know, I desperately want a VBAC and NEVER want to see the insides of an operating theatre again.

However, I do wonder if my intense desire to have a VBAC is going to leave my UTTERLY devistated if it doesn't work out, or if there's medical reasons as to why I might need to have a scheduled caesarean.

So, this is a question for the women who planned to have a VBAC, but ended up with a caesarean.

How did you feel? If you felt bad about yourself for not having a vaginal birth the first time around, did you feel even worse when you needed it the 2nd? Did you feel really let down?

I don't really know what to ask... but any info on how it made you feel would be really great.

I just want to prepare myself, in case one day, my dream of VBAC DOESN'T happen... I want to be at least prepared to feel some emotions. (I do understand that it'll be different from person to person... but I'd still like to know if you're willing to share!).

[becca74]

My 2nd VBAC attempt didnt work out, as you know. Having the 'vaginal birth or nothing' attitude didnt help me one ounce, in fact it only served to accentuated the trauma.

When I planned my HBA2C, I had to bring myself to a point where I could make a plan 'c'. Devise/negotiate with your careprovider how a caesarean would be made more humane if it became genuinely required, explain your previous trauma, and stress that you are anxious that it not be repeated. My IMW reassured me that she would be my human 'birth plan'. She knew all my wishes regarding my 'c' plan, and would have made sure they were adhered to had a 3rd c/sec become necessary.

I was shocked by my 2nd c/sec, as I had had such a decent experience with my 1st one, I was totally gobsmacked that the 2nd experience was not only inferior, but downright humiliating, unsacred and disrespectful. That is what made it even worse.

You also have to recognise that THEY scarred you. Your uterus has been interfered with in a place that was not natural for it to be interfered with. Adhesions/scar tissue, emotional blockages, and a whole range of small things might crop up which are a result of the previous surgery, and are nothing to do with you as a woman and the potential you had to give birth vaginally before your 1st surgery. Recognising that a 2nd caesar could crop up due to factors from the 1st one (ie, factors beyond your current control) might help to alleviate any guilt/regret if it doesnt work out.

Have you subscribed to Birthrites to get the Magazine? One of our recent issues had the story of a woman who's 2nd c/sec was due to scar tissue preventing her cervix from opening. Her Ob cleaned it up and was hopeful for her to have a VBA2C in the future - she found this reassuring, and he was certain that, had the scar tissue not been there from the 1st c/sec, because her labour had been so beautiful, she would have had a very straight forward vaginal birth.

Check out the my most recent blog entry - It talks of the 3 areas you have to work on to empower yourself for birth.

1. You
2. Them
3. Fate

Think of it as you preparing for a theatre production. You have to be ready, educated, and focused. They (support people/environment) have to be on your page - ie, the scenery and actors have to play to YOUR script. And fate: You have to be prepared for all outcomes. You have to make peace with that which is potentially out of your control.

Hope that makes sense.....brain is slightly foggy since it is 1am here

[borntobemummy]

I too had to get to a point where I could plan for and accept the possibility of a c/s. I wrote a very detailed birth plan and we had a supportive Doula. The birth plan got circulated right around the hospital (or so it seems) we made a lot of nurses/midwives hopeful to see things happen the way they think they ideally should. We also made doctors/surgeons/anesthetists very angry
I did everything we could to get labour going. We managed to get 73hours with my waters broken, usually you're only allowed 18-48max. So, we really tried and it just didn't start up, which was really weird. It was medically necessary given the increasing risks of infection which could've been fatal for both DS and I.
anyway, the delivery was amazing, it went almost to the letter of the birth plan. There were some amazing midwives who pulled strings. I was allowed skin to skin contact, and the most important thing (for me) DS never left my arms/my sight. He came with me to recovery with DH and I fed him there and they put him in the bed with me as they wheeled us back to the ward, I then kept him in bed with me all day and all night. That was such a healing experience, last time, they took DD away after a quick look at her and then they sent DH home because it was not visiting hours and they took her away all night so I could "sleep", but I didn't, I could hear her crying and I was petrified and all alone.
I didn't think it could happen, but I found the healing I needed from VBAC from a repeat c/s.
The recovery has been so much better too, my stomach has gone down quicker, and they replaced my old bumpy scar with a nice thin and flat one.

However, it has not been all rosey, when the 3 day blues hit, I started to feel very down about having another c/s and what that would mean for future babies. We want to have a few and my hospital doesn't allow VBA2C, so we have to re-assess our options. I have since been down and angry about it and have kept my distance from bubhub because of it. So, this is something I need to address.

I am not as devestated as I thought I would be. I was on such a high for the first couple of days. They key is preparation and a really detailed birth plan. All the best sassy

[Lila]

with my 2nd cs- i had an attitude like- i am having a vbac- i NEVER thought about the possiblility to have/ or need another cs.
my gyn told me all fine, no dramas and as i didn´t develope PE again, there was no way i thought it´s not working the "normal" way....

ok-
my waters broke in due date-
i went to hospital and was told i should expect around 12 hours until bubby is there (labour blablablahhh)
ok,
medium contractions....
next day they induced me, as my own labour didn´t progress...
2 days later induced labour didn´t do anything either (apart from MASSIVE LABOUR PAINS...)
and i needed an em c/s as i had an uterus rupture....
i remember to still have contractions in theater, until they knocked me out...

it was a complete SHOCK for me, i never expected it to happen again. i was deeply disappointed in myself, felt worthless and not capable of doing the most "natural" thing...
i really was DOWN; DOWN; DOWN

i cried everytime i´ve heard a positive birth sorty, felt cheated, felt sick to my stomach, felt really, really jealous!!

the only thing that helped me was the birth of our third child, which had to be an ele. cs (due to the uterus rupture) but i was in control- i wrote a FANTASTIC birth plan and had a wonderful C/S

so, what i try to say is
-
consider it might end in a cs, write a plan including cs, and write how you want your cs- if you would need one.
take control!!!

GOOD LUCK

[brookeme]

with my 2nd cs- i had an attitude like- i am having a vbac- i NEVER thought about the possiblility to have/ or need another cs.
my gyn told me all fine, no dramas and as i didn´t develope PE again, there was no way i thought it´s not working the "normal" way....

ok-
my waters broke in due date-
i went to hospital and was told i should expect around 12 hours until bubby is there (labour blablablahhh)
ok,
medium contractions....
next day they induced me, as my own labour didn´t progress...
2 days later induced labour didn´t do anything either (apart from MASSIVE LABOUR PAINS...)
and i needed an em c/s as i had an uterus rupture....
i remember to still have contractions in theater, until they knocked me out...

it was a complete SHOCK for me, i never expected it to happen again. i was deeply disappointed in myself, felt worthless and not capable of doing the most "natural" thing...
i really was DOWN; DOWN; DOWN

i cried everytime i´ve heard a positive birth sorty, felt cheated, felt sick to my stomach, felt really, really jealous!!

the only thing that helped me was the birth of our third child, which had to be an ele. cs (due to the uterus rupture) but i was in control- i wrote a FANTASTIC birth plan and had a wonderful C/S

so, what i try to say is
-
consider it might end in a cs, write a plan including cs, and write how you want your cs- if you would need one.
take control!!!

GOOD LUCK

Same same same.... except I dont have a third and I didnt rupture but it was an emergency... Both with a general....I still suffer from it emotionally......BADLY!!
Best of luck.... But be prepared just in case!! I hope you get the birth you want!!