http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/ See helplines Please note - this is an open area of the bubhub forum. Posts that are not constructive or that are rude/ aggressive will not be tolerated en Fri, 24 May 2013 05:42:26 GMT vBulletin 10 http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/images/styles/BubHub/misc/rss.png http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/ http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?496487-Visitation-does-this-sound-fair&goto=newpost Thu, 23 May 2013 22:21:57 GMT Since exDh and I split, I've allowed him to have DS1 every Saturday. This often spreads to 1.5 days by the time he brings him home. As I'm on mat leave, I've allowed this to happen since I have him all week anyway.

Now exDH informs me last night (through prompting from me) that his pregnant girlfriend is moving in with him in 2 weeks. How I feel about that is a whole other story, but I now want to change out visitation schedule and protect my DS1 through this transition.

I'm proposing we move to fortnightly visitation now, but if he wants he can have him 2nts instead, so the standard for many fathers anyway. We may also work up to 1 week night too on the alternating weeks.

I just feel that we need to take it slowly again, as there is too much all happening at once for DS1 who is only 20mths. His dad left suddenly, he had to get used to a new house and leaving me of a weekend, I then brought DS2 home to shake up his world! Now he's going to have to get used to another house again, another woman in that house, then shortly another baby too. All within a 6mth period and at the same time as turning 2. I feel this is a lot for such a young boy so believe he needs a bit more stability.

In addition to this, once I return to work full time, the weekends will be my only quality time with the boys too. So I don't see why I should miss out on seeing them every Saturday like I do now. I don't want to only be the boring parent who does the very day stuff, we deserve to have fun together too. I would allow exDH to visit occasionally on his alternating weekends though, for the boys sake.

So does this sound fair to you? I want to do the right thing by my boys. ]]> Single Parents Pesca77 http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?496487-Visitation-does-this-sound-fair http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?496440-Fighting-baby-urges&goto=newpost Thu, 23 May 2013 04:12:36 GMT Im only recently a fully single mum (have been up and down for a while though). I have 3 wonderful kids but after my 3rd (she is 1 now) my urge to have more kiddies came. We did get pregnant before the break up but I had a miscarriage last month. Problem is I still have that URGE for another baby.... Im only recently a fully single mum (have been up and down for a while though). I have 3 wonderful kids but after my 3rd (she is 1 now) my urge to have more kiddies came. We did get pregnant before the break up but I had a miscarriage last month. Problem is I still have that URGE for another baby. Obviously right now is not the best time (no longer with him, studying and also a SAHM so I don't have an income). We have parted on good terms and he even said if later on I wanted another child he would be willing to help (I have no issues with it as he is a fantastic, their were just other issues in our relationship) but that would be over 5+ years away and I know by then I will more likely be done with the baby stage. How do you guys fight the urge (if you have it)??? I would honestly love to do it right now but then that means a bigger car and also getting **** from family and friends about it....HELP!!!! ]]> Single Parents nikki61087 http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?496440-Fighting-baby-urges http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?496432-Flirting-sometimes-it-s-just-nice&goto=newpost Thu, 23 May 2013 03:17:29 GMT So, a few weeks ago- I met a guy at a party. Nothing amazing but I FB friended him (along with others I met), and we've just started chatting (flirting) and sometimes it's just nice to offload a bit of girlish flirtation. :p Nothing serious, no life long committment, just some friendly girlish flirting.

P.S. Was there a point to this thread? Excitement? I do not know.:p ]]> Single Parents SimplyMum http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?496432-Flirting-sometimes-it-s-just-nice http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?496281-just-need-to-vent-sp&goto=newpost Tue, 21 May 2013 06:29:31 GMT How can you be apart of a family for 9yrs and then be completly flogged off? i mean i thought they loved me and i was very much part of the family. im obviously nothing to them now except the wicked witch of the west. how can they do this? they still want the kids but dont want to hear my side of... How can you be apart of a family for 9yrs and then be completly flogged off? i mean i thought they loved me and i was very much part of the family. im obviously nothing to them now except the wicked witch of the west. how can they do this? they still want the kids but dont want to hear my side of the story. im angry, hurt, embarassed, ashamed, stressed and every other horrible emotion. please tell me it gets better. ]]> Single Parents free_babe5 http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?496281-just-need-to-vent-sp http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?496235-Silver-Linings&goto=newpost Mon, 20 May 2013 23:45:11 GMT Hi ladies, sorry to crash, but I'm staring down the barrel of single motherhood myself (though not 100% yet - gee these things string out, don't they?).

Anyway, I'm trying to counter my worry and insomnia by thinking of some positives of being a single mother. Here's what I have so far:

1. Definitely the favourite parent!
2. You can confidently parent in your style without debating major decisions.
3. You can dress your baby/child how you want!
4. You can decorate the house any way you want.
5. Cereal for dinner.
6. No wasting time tending to your lady parts unless you want to!
7. No last minute requests to knock up a quick roast cos Dazza, Gazza and Wozza are on their way round and will be here any second.
8. Full financial control.
9. Freedom from a toxic environment.
10. Eventually, better self-esteem and confidence.
11. No more fighting over the doona.

Can anyone add to my list? ]]> Single Parents mrsharvey http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?496235-Silver-Linings http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?496223-Single-mums-with-FIFO-ex-partners&goto=newpost Mon, 20 May 2013 13:40:25 GMT Ok so my now xdp works FIFO and does 2 weeks on 2 weeks off! I'm really worried about how we go by figuring out when he has the kids. He knows he Won't get then for 2 whole weeks. We have a 7 MO a almost 2 yo and he is step father (she hasn't seen her dad in 3.5 years and doesn't know any different) to my 4.5 yo. How would you suggest I figure this out! I'm not comfortable with my youngest going for sleepovers and its not that he's a ba father he is a good one I'm just not ready and I don't think she is either! HELP! ]]> Single Parents mum2mj http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?496223-Single-mums-with-FIFO-ex-partners http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?496215-so-angry!!-need-to-vent&goto=newpost Mon, 20 May 2013 11:35:32 GMT I'm so angry. Me and DP have only been separated for 2days. I just found that he has used MY computer over the last 2 days to set up a dating profile and ordered prostitutes.

I can't believe he is moving on so quick. I haven't even moved my stuff out yet.

Sorry vent over. ]]> Single Parents andy90 http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?496215-so-angry!!-need-to-vent http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?496194-How-did-your-kids-cope-with-their-dad-having-and-living-with-another-child&goto=newpost Mon, 20 May 2013 07:59:49 GMT Follow on from my other thread.

What am I meant to tell my kids when they ask why dad lives with his other kid and not them? My daughter already ask why dad won't stay here.

Also did the relationship with your kids and his dad change?

I can see this going badly for my kids. I can see them getting into trouble for waking the sleeping baby, I can see him asking for the weekend off when the baby is brought home. Getting annoyed with DD wanting to hold the baby.

At the moment their dad comes over Christmas Eve to help me set up, he is then back at 6am till lunch. Can't tell me that won't change!

It's just not fair! ]]> Single Parents ~BEXTER~ http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?496194-How-did-your-kids-cope-with-their-dad-having-and-living-with-another-child http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?496007-Devastated!!&goto=newpost Fri, 17 May 2013 13:29:31 GMT Some know my story some don't.

The ex and I have been on and off for the past 8 years. We have a almost 3 year old and he is the step dad to my daughter.

He left me while I was pregnant to be with someone else but we still kept seeing each other, she knew because I told her, she didn't care.

November last year I fell pregnant. I aborted because he said he didn't want more kids, that he couldn't afforded more kids. It was a hard choice and I Live in regret.

Tonight I found out his partner is 6 months pregnant. So he drove me to my termination and a week or two later (or at the sane time) she falls pregnant:,

I'm devastated! Mainly because when I was pregnant with our son he left me, I lived 3 hours away from him and he was there the night I went into labour but he left me to go home, he missed the birth and was non extant for the first year.

We finally have a good routine where he comes to dinner every Friday and takes the kids once a month and now I don't know what's going to happen.

His house isn't big enough for my 2 kids and a baby. He won't take our kids every 2 weeks because he is stressed but is now having a baby.

I'm just crushed. I don't want him in my house anymore but is that fair on my kids? I have no idea what's going to happen. I'm not sure I'm
Strong enough to remain a part of his life so he can see the kids. I've put up with so much over the past 8 years but stuck around for the kids. I just don't know how this is going to work.

I know this is my karma. I'm just devastated. ]]> Single Parents ~BEXTER~ http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?496007-Devastated!! http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?496003-Ex-is-driving-me-insane!&goto=newpost Fri, 17 May 2013 11:58:32 GMT This is a long rant, as I'm so worried I have no idea what to do anymore! So ex was having DS every Wednesday and every second Saturday and Sunday only during the day. But about three weeks ago he couldn't have him on the Saturday or Sunday cuz he was going away, that was all fine. Then the Wednesday came and DS woke up sick so he stayed home (he is clingy to me when he is sick and refuses to go to his father) so the other day I get a text from ex abusing me for ruining his life and he is glad he has a daughter on the way, something I didn't give him! I didn't reply cuz I wasn't in the mood for arguing so then I get another one saying he knows I'm pregnant and I only got pregnant cuz they are having a baby. I didn't tell him I was pregnant cuz I'm only 8wks and I knew he would carry on. Apparently my so called friend told him! So then he sends me several other msgs but the that really concerns me is where he says I ruined his life and he will never forgive me and pay back is coming. So I told him that he wasn't to see DS until we went back to mediation so now he is still texting me saying im the blame that his gf has left him so he is going to commit suicide and leave a note saying I'm to blame and that I'll have to explain it to his two sons and daughter.
I'm actually too scared to stay at my house cuz he knows where I live and I have seen him drive past a few times (we don't do pick ups and drop offs at each others house, we meet at a local shopping center, well that's when he was seeing DS) so I've been staying at my parents house. He is obviously unstable I have no idea what he is capable of. I refuse to let him have DS as I'm so scared he will do something to him to get back at me! :(

I know this post may be confusing and not make any sense, I just needed to get it off my chest ]]> Single Parents sarz2009 http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?496003-Ex-is-driving-me-insane! http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?495877-SAHM-Brisbane-mums-with-boys-under-5-can-we-help-each-other-out&goto=newpost Thu, 16 May 2013 03:20:26 GMT Hi all,

I'm a Brisbane-based work-from-home single mum to a 3.5 yr old boy.

Just hoping there might be another mum who is either stay at home, study at home or work from home (or all 3!) with a little boy not at daycare or who has kindy free days, who'd like to help each other out on alternate days ie. one day (or morning/afternoon) I am happy to come to your place and supervise the boys playing while you get done anything you would like to get done or even if you just want you time to read a book and then on another day, you could come to my place and supervise the boys while I stand a better chance at concentrating and getting things done. Or it could be a week about thing.

If anyone is interested in discussing how this might work for us, please pm me. ]]> Single Parents OnlyWayisUp http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?495877-SAHM-Brisbane-mums-with-boys-under-5-can-we-help-each-other-out http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?495842-Applying-for-a-divorce&goto=newpost Wed, 15 May 2013 11:40:51 GMT For those that are divorced, how did you apply for it? Just tell everything LOL.

I've googled and gather, I can lodge online or download a form from the family court website and lodge it at the court house.

I'll be lodging it by myself withhout exdh. We currently on speaking terms. If I lodge online, how are the papers served on exdh?

Aargh, I've been procrastinating this for ages, but it needs to be done. ]]> Single Parents crankyoldcow http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?495842-Applying-for-a-divorce http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?495839-How-do-I-explain-to-4-5-yo&goto=newpost Wed, 15 May 2013 11:20:36 GMT Il be leaving my partner (just waiting to get accepted for a rental first) iv found out he's lying to me and has tried to put a wedge between my sister and I. My problem is I'm not sure how I will explain it to my 4.5 to daughter. I left my partner over a year ago and we got back together and about 2 months ago we moved back in with him, now iv found out he's been lying and I'm realizing it's not just about the big stuff but little stuff as well and I need to get out! What does everyone suggest I say to explain it to my daughter?

Tia ]]> Single Parents mum2mj http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?495839-How-do-I-explain-to-4-5-yo http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?495757-New-Relationship&goto=newpost Tue, 14 May 2013 11:10:30 GMT I have been a single mum since i was 5 months pregnant and joined this site years ago to get support from other single mums only to read posts and never actually write. Today I write.... I have been on my own for 4 years now and have started seeing someone, he is actually an Ex from years back,... I have been a single mum since i was 5 months pregnant and joined this site years ago to get support from other single mums only to read posts and never actually write. Today I write....
I have been on my own for 4 years now and have started seeing someone, he is actually an Ex from years back, great guy and we have been best friends for years. Just worried if its right, do i feel so unsure because of how my DS's father left me (5 months pregnant, been togther 5 years and only married 6 months) or is it because we arent right and should stay as friends. I dont have any divorced friends and this is not something a married person understands. But i have never been in a relationship as a mum, i have never had to share time between DS and a partner. I feel pulled in all ways, NP (New Partner) is ready to settle down and i keep pulling on the breaks and saying we will look at it at the end of this year. He wants more kids, and with our ages we have to start this soon but i just dont know what to do. Any help would be great. ]]> Single Parents mumumum http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?495757-New-Relationship http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?495706-hwo-do-you-cope-with-your-inlaws-single-parent&goto=newpost Tue, 14 May 2013 04:04:08 GMT my inlaws have stopped any contact with me and the kids. we were mean to go to my nieces party on saturday but i cant make it because of money, petrol etc. i also dont want to go because im not sure how they will react to me. they have only heard exh story of things and no one has bothered to ask... my inlaws have stopped any contact with me and the kids. we were mean to go to my nieces party on saturday but i cant make it because of money, petrol etc. i also dont want to go because im not sure how they will react to me. they have only heard exh story of things and no one has bothered to ask me. i dont want to ring them to tell them because i.... i dont know. the kids are asking to see my mil but i dont know if she wants to see me or the kids.

how did you cope with your inlaws? do you see or talk to them? how was it the first time you saw them after the split?
thanks xx ]]> Single Parents free_babe5 http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?495706-hwo-do-you-cope-with-your-inlaws-single-parent http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?495613-Where-to-now&goto=newpost Mon, 13 May 2013 03:50:11 GMT Ok so I have just separated from my husband. I have called ccentrelink and am now a single mum of six kids 7 and under sitting in a house I can't afford thats half renovated and not ready for sale, wanting to get back to WA and my family but have no idea where to start. ]]> Single Parents Bex http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?495613-Where-to-now http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?495471-Centrelink-family-income-update&goto=newpost Fri, 10 May 2013 20:29:47 GMT I'm newly single and ]]> Single Parents Imnotme http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?495471-Centrelink-family-income-update http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?495374-Pity-Party&goto=newpost Thu, 09 May 2013 12:19:55 GMT Having a bit of a pity party with myself tonight.

I met a girlfriend from uni for lunch today. We graduated together in 2009 and she has been living in Perth since then.

Her life is everything that I imagined mine would be. She has a managerial role in a great firm, I'm assuming she's earning around $80-100k. She has a lovely partner, who is a FIFO engineer, earning around $100k. Her partner purchased a house two years ago. She purchased a beautiful inner city apartment last month. Her and her partner plan to move to Denmark at the end of the year to work.

I am a single mum. I live with my parents. In my hometown. In the middle of nowhere. I work part time. Whilst I don't hate my job I certainly don't love it and its not even remotely in the field that I'm passionate about.

I know I shouldn't compare myself to others, and I have a major case of First World Problems. I'm just disappointed for myself that that only four years ago, we had the same opportunities and similar lifestyles, and since that time my life has not gone the direction I thought it would.

My hopes and dream are on hold at the moment. At least until dd is older. ]]> Single Parents nudge88 http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?495374-Pity-Party http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?495309-passport-with-no-name-on-birth-cert&goto=newpost Wed, 08 May 2013 18:12:05 GMT hi all I have a 5 year old daughter. she was born overseas..i had to go stay with family when i was 4 months pregnant to escape my abusive ex.. who tried everything to get me to abort. I was able to get her australian citizenship by decent.. and an australian passport.. her australian... hi all
I have a 5 year old daughter.
she was born overseas..i had to go stay with family when i was 4 months pregnant to escape my abusive ex.. who tried everything to get me to abort.

I was able to get her australian citizenship by decent..
and an australian passport..
her australian passport is due to expire next month..
my mother is taking her on a holiday to europe next month..
so i am applying for a new one.
her father is not listed on her birth cert
he has not signed any documents acknowledging paternity of her
he has never met her
he has never paid any child support to her.
I was told that regardless of all of this
that I would still need his signature to obtain a passport..
is that true?
i dont recall getting her passport overseas was a huge deal
but here... if the father isnt listed on the birth cert.. it seems like a nightmare
is this going to make it hard to get her a passport
and does he need to sign it.. when.. he is not listed anywhere as her father? ]]> Single Parents charlottesmama http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?495309-passport-with-no-name-on-birth-cert http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?495283-Seeking-advice-re-relationship-ending&goto=newpost Wed, 08 May 2013 09:06:44 GMT Hi again, I have a feeling I might become a regular around here for a while :/
I'm having difficulties in ending my relationship.. We have had a big argument (by text none the less) and I have explained that I don't think our relationship is good now and that the emotional, financial and verbal abuse have all piled up on me and broken down my self esteem and self worth and that I don't see this as being a positive environment for our son to be brought up in. I made reference to the fact that he expects me to do all of the cooking, cleaning and everything for our son. After this his last text to me said 'fine I'll try and do the right thing while we're apart.'
Now this left me kinda going wtf but I didn't bother to question anymore because I thought we were kinda on the same page about there not being an 'us' at this point in time. He slept in the spare room last night after getting home at 10pm, and then left this morning at 5am without saying anything. I didn't hear from him all day until 5pm this afternoon asking if I could finish work early on Friday. I asked why (thinking itd be something positive like a couselling session) and told him it was something I'd have to check with my boss but I wasn't sure as I've already got an early finish tomorrow for something. His response was 'well we check in at 2pm'.
So obviously he has ignored things and booked a weekend away. It has really frustrated me. Not to mention that he got home today and has given our son a shower and put on a load of washing. Things that never happen unless I ask or wait until he is in the shower then strip out son off and put him in there too.. And that has just ****ed me off even more. He is totally ignoring it!!
Has anyone else been in this situation and can you provide some friendly advice??
Thanks :)


Sent from my iPhone using The Bub Hub mobile app ]]> Single Parents In the shadows http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?495283-Seeking-advice-re-relationship-ending http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?495021-new-here&goto=newpost Sun, 05 May 2013 11:06:26 GMT Hi everyone,

New to the site and new to the world of single parenting. Never thought I'd end up here but I guess no-one does think that? I have been married 9 years and have three beautiful kids a 1 year old, 3 and 5 year old. My husband left me because he thinks he didn't love me since the start. He finally left 2 weeks ago. It's been a very emotionally draining time for me and I still cry a lot. Marriage meant ALOT to me and keeping it going but he isn't interested.

Putting that all aside, we'll now be looking at selling our house in the future and I'd need to find a place to rent. I know it can be very hard to get approval for a place as a single parent. Is there an issue if he puts his name on the lease since I am a SAHM and he works? Would it affect me getting rent assistance? Or can we do a lease in both our names? He wants to help me get a decent place.

Thanks! ]]> Single Parents turando http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?495021-new-here http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?494958-Any-ideas&goto=newpost Sat, 04 May 2013 09:17:30 GMT My husband and I are separating. The problem I have is whilst he no longer loves me, he loves his daughter greatly. She is 11 months old and he wants 100% joint custody. He works 4 days on, 4 days off and wants her for the whole 4 days he is off as he, understandably see no difference between her... My husband and I are separating. The problem I have is whilst he no longer loves me, he loves his daughter greatly. She is 11 months old and he wants 100% joint custody. He works 4 days on, 4 days off and wants her for the whole 4 days he is off as he, understandably see no difference between her being with her mother or her father. I think she is still too young to be away from her mother for that long at a time, and am willing to give him 3 nights, one of which is his turn around, he does 2 days then two nights and two non consecutive nights when he's off so she is only away for a day and a bit at a time. Am I bein unreasonable? I still think she's too young for that long away from me. ]]> Single Parents SD78 http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?494958-Any-ideas http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?494778-How-do-you-survive-financially&goto=newpost Thu, 02 May 2013 06:35:21 GMT Hi,
About to become single. Does rent assistance cover much of the rent? Wondering if we can survive! One of the reasons I haven't gone yet.

3 kids. I want to stay at home with our Son. How do I make ends meet?

Got to get away, not a healthy place to be for the kids! Or how do I get him to leave? He says it's his house ( it's in both names. We are buying).

Help please ]]> Single Parents jariah4 http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?494778-How-do-you-survive-financially http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?494682-How-do-I-get-over-it&goto=newpost Wed, 01 May 2013 05:47:29 GMT I am feeling so down at the moment. I hadn't seen my Ex for 5 weeks. He cut contact when I said I didnt want to get back with him. He hasnt seen our daughter in that time. I stupidly drunk texted my ex, whilst out drinking with my friends on Saturday night. I ended up going to his house and sleeping with him.
He lives in a nice townhouse close to the city which he shares with a couple and their dog. He has bought a motorbike. He is going on holidays to the Whitsundays next week. He is currently saving for an overseas holiday.

And I am jealous. I hate him so much.

I currently live with my parents in my home-town, which is a good 90 mins from the city. I get to go out once per fortnight or month, depending on when my parents can babysit. I can't travel. I can't be selfish. I cant just go out and buy what I want. I cant even leave the house without my child in tow.

I'm SO SICK of being the only parent taking ANY responsibility. I'm sick of not being able to do anything unless my parents can babysit. I feel like instead of co-parenting my daughter with her father, i'm co-parenting her with my parents. Which is NOT fair on them. I'm just so sick of trying to do it all on my own.

It also annoys me that he has the right to step back into her life at ANY time and just pick up where he left off. DD is only 22 months, so she wont remember that he isnt here for her (or me).

The Ex has been asking if we can give it another go. I'm so tempted just to throw in the towel and move in with him because I think it'd make my life so much easier.

I'm just thankful I have wonderful girlfriends to talk some sense into me. ]]> Single Parents nudge88 http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?494682-How-do-I-get-over-it http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?494511-Your-arrangements&goto=newpost Mon, 29 Apr 2013 06:39:30 GMT *** This thread is for single/separated parents only, please do not share what you hypothetically would do were you to separate"

I am curious to the age of your children and the sort of arrangements you have with them spending time in your care and with the other parent.

Please share. ]]> Single Parents flyawayfree http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?494511-Your-arrangements http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?494486-Ex-starting-Mediation&goto=newpost Mon, 29 Apr 2013 02:08:46 GMT OK. So things have finally hit the roof. Ex says he will be starting mediation (that's great) but I have also told him he wont have the kids until this is sorted out, I didn't say to him why, but honestly I'm worried he will take off with them. He has a history of just leaving states when things get to hard. So I know it wont look good my end stopping him seeing the kids until this is sorted but I hope they can understand why.
I had been reading through what I could find in the search bar for 'mediation' to see what I'm in for. But I just wanted to ask to see if anyone has more info / updated info.
Should I wait until I get a phone call or letter first to see if he actually does start this? Or should I ring up legal aid to get the ball rolling on my side?
I'm really nervous about all this but I want to be armed and ready for it, I heard people say they went in and just gave the ex everything they wanted because they were so nervous. I'm hoping for a private session so I don't have to confront him because he is manipulative and physiologically abusive towards .... well anyone he doesn't seem fit to deserve his respect. So I don't think I could be in the same room with him, but will if I truly have to. I just know my anxiety will kick it and I will make a fool of myself.
I will be sitting down and writing up everything I want for the kids, I will be telling my legal aid about ex's past. I know they ask about our relationship when together so I might be there a while explaining it to them lol
I mainly just want legal custody of them. So if he tries to bugger off with them, I can call the police to have them returned. I want him to stick to his weekends in having them. I think he might try go full time for them but I know he doesn't have a chance because 1) I have been their full time carer since they were born and even when we were together he never had anything to do with them. and 2) he works FIFO 3-1 and some how i doubt the courts would let his gf of 8 months (no sorry, they are engaged now) looks after the kids while he is at work 3 weeks out of 4.
I know they are meant to have equal time with each parent, but he just isn't reliable enough to do school runs. I don't even know where he lives these days but he said something about buying/building a house which will be nearly an hour away from the kids school/day care. So I don't see *why* he would want to even do school runs that far away.
Our arrangements have been he has the kids every 3rd weekend and half school holidays. But that doesn't even fit into his work schedule, so that went out the window. I just don't understand what it is he is going to ask for.
He is all like "its not fair on the kids" but he is the one who ditched them (DS birthday) so he could go away for the week with his lady. And he says "its only one week" but I don't think he understands how LONG it is for the kids to just wait 3 weeks to see their dad.
argh! I just need some info on what I'm in for. Sorry about the rant. ]]> Single Parents AngelicHobgoblin http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?494486-Ex-starting-Mediation http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?494375-birthdays-what-do-you-do&goto=newpost Sat, 27 Apr 2013 11:33:51 GMT Its my dd's 6th birthday on wednesday. what am i going to do? dh will be here on tuesday. he is doing drop off and pick up. should he give a present to her then? also we were meant to have a joint birthday lunch next weekend for dd and dh. their birthdays are a week apart. anyway it was meant to be here but i dont think i can have his family here now. suggestions?
we have only been apart a week so things are pretty messed up at the moment, as you can all understand. ]]> Single Parents free_babe5 http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?494375-birthdays-what-do-you-do http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?494349-It-s-so-quiet-And-peaceful-)&goto=newpost Sat, 27 Apr 2013 07:59:54 GMT So DS is at daddy's for the night and I have no plans... Just having a wine and kicking back.

Its so quiet! And lovely! I love DS and he is my little world but geeeez I love time to myself as well!! :smiliedance:

I miss him too but also don't miss him.

Anyone else? :) ]]> Single Parents MeetTheBluths http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?494349-It-s-so-quiet-And-peaceful-) http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?494340-Custody-issues-surrounding-team-sports&goto=newpost Sat, 27 Apr 2013 05:08:14 GMT Does anyone have a child playing Saturday team sports? Do you turn up to watch the match when it is not your weekend with the kids? To cut a long story short my 10 year old DD is playing soccer on Saturday mornings this year. Exdh has finally very reluctantly agreed to take her on his... Does anyone have a child playing Saturday team sports? Do you turn up to watch the match when it is not your weekend with the kids?

To cut a long story short my 10 year old DD is playing soccer on Saturday mornings this year. Exdh has finally very reluctantly agreed to take her on his weekends.

Today was his first soccer weekend and I went along to the match to support her. (She wanted me to go, but I was going to go anyway).

At half time she looked like she was going to cry. I asked her what was wrong and she said she hated staying with exdh and she wanted me to take her home straight away.

Made me so upset. Does anyone else go to support their kids activities when the ex has them? I want to go, but I don't know if me being there makes her upset? or if there other issues with exdh? As an aside all 4 of mine hate going there for different reasons. ]]> Single Parents crankyoldcow http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?494340-Custody-issues-surrounding-team-sports http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?494335-Fathers-rights&goto=newpost Sat, 27 Apr 2013 04:25:02 GMT Can people please share with me info/links that explain a fathers rights with a newborn, if the people were separated during pregnancy... Can people please share with me info/links that explain a fathers rights with a newborn, if the people were separated during pregnancy... ]]> Single Parents flyawayfree http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?494335-Fathers-rights http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?494333-i-kicked-him-out-now-what&goto=newpost Sat, 27 Apr 2013 04:04:16 GMT :( :( ]]> Single Parents free_babe5 http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?494333-i-kicked-him-out-now-what