View Full Version : How to "toughen up" my little girl
I feel weird asking this, but my 3.5yo has a heart of gold, and is always being picked on at playgroup. She is well behaved, has the odd problem with sharing, but there are two brothers who push her, hit her with sticks, pull her hair etc and I want her to stand up to them.
She has tried to tell them "stop pushing me, don't hurt me . . ." but it falls on deaf ears.
And NO their mother has the "it's not my problem" attitude. Really P****es me off, but she feels that I'm always on their case. Damn straight I am as they're little monsters. I don't know what I should do as of course there are rules at playgroup re how to address other children.
Anyway my question is: how do I toughen her up? DH thinks that karate might help her learn how to defend herself. Problem is, I don't want her to end up a bully, either.
Thanks for reading this and I appreciate any responses I receive.
It's only these two boys who pick on my girls, and they pick on them (I have a 2yo as well) because they're girls and smaller.
It's a common thing with these two, there have been a lot of people leaving because of them but no one else will say anything. Yes the mum needs a good boot.
Other kids cling to their mum/dad because they don't want to be picked on.
I took her to a martial arts class yesterday to see what it's all about, and she absolutely loved it. She wants to go back "to the place where I learn to stand up to the nasty boys"
I've been to other playgroups before and I have the same view as you. Someone else can watch the kids while they have a cuppa and a smoke. I've pretty much decided that our playgroup days are over.
We can have just as much fun with playdough and paint at home and go to the park for a run and play on the slides.
Thanks for listening to my rant.
I have the same problem. My little girl is 16 mths and she recently started at knidy for a few days a week, and there is one little boy in particular who is always picking on her. He bites her and pulls her hair and never lets her have any of the toys. I have asked the group leader to keep an eye on it, she just says that is because he has older brothers that pick on him. But as sad as it sounds kids are always going to have to deal with bullies. I think martial arts is a great idea it teaches them how to defend themselves, and also how to control anger so they will never be bullies themselves.
our little treasures
My dd is the same age but she was bullied by her nephew for a long time. I can only say get her out of that playgroup!! I have had to remove my daughter (after proffessional advice) from that family. To be honest while it is sad she doesn't see her cousins the damage that has happened far worse. You need to be responsible and get her away from the enviroment or she will be bullied forever. At this tender age they don't have the skills to cope with it. My daughter is hit by her brother occasionally and she cannot handle it she sits there like a victim. This is because we allowed the bullying to happen without really telling the nephew off. Everyone in the family kept saying he is a boy and laughing it off and they would only comment on DD's screaming making out she was in the wrong.
Everyone out of the family seen it at parties I would have people come and get me saying look that boy just kicked her and grabbed her as she was walking past. Even another adult yelled at him for it and then got me as they knew the parents were doing nothing about it. I know it is hard but the safest and best solution for that age is to remove her as the parents have the same attitude as DH's family.
Truly it has been the best thing for my dd!
Hugs girl, it is the hardest thing to see a child go through that especially your own and especially when others have that kind of attitude, that is why their kids are bullies.
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