How to cope with 2 under 2 [Archive] - Bub Hub Pregnancy & Parenting Forum

2under2

21-03-2005, 23:51

bubbalove

22-03-2005, 12:32

Yep, I've got a 20 month old and an 8 day old! My hubby and mum are still home with us at the moment, so I haven't experienced the two of them alone yet! Would be interested in any tips/ideas others have also

WeThree

23-03-2005, 17:07

I completely sympathise, I have a 22 mth old and a 16 wk old, and it is bloody hard work! I have found that having a basket of toys in the loungeroom helps when I am feeding the baby as the toddler tends to not wander off to different parts of the house and get up to mischief whilst i am feeding (change the toys regulary so it always looks like something new is in there) try and get them to have a sleep at the same time so you can have a rest or do some housework, or maybe have a shower! Because you cannot leave the toddler alone with the baby for a second, not that they will purposefully hurt the baby but I have found mine trying to pick it up, bruch its teeth, give it food , sit on it etc! Have you got a double pram? I use mine quite a bit when we are out because it is to hard to try and chase the toddler with the baby in tow. Let the baby lie on a blanket or in its rocker for a bit each day and spend some time eith your toddler, also encourage a bond between them, get your toddler to kiss and talk to the baby and thnk about enrolling your oldest in daycare just for one day a week, it will not hurt him/her ( i have just started with mine and he loves it) this will give you some time alone with your baby and a chance to do the things that you cannot do with your gorgeous toddler in tow! I hope some of this helps, and good luck, remember you are not alone!

2under2

23-03-2005, 20:42

Hey thanks! Will try the toys, might take her mind off tryiing to climb the coffee table, dining table, tv cabinet etc.....I have a phil and ted's pram with the toddler seat - it is fantastic! Wouldn't trust her (or anyone else for that matter) alone near the shops (or the carparks either) New bub is a bit more hight maintenance than first (has a bit of reflux) so dont get to spend as much one on one with her. bit scared about the day care thing yet, but might give it some serious thought! i am in springwood in brisbane, anyone near here??

bubbalove

24-03-2005, 10:55

Nope, I'm in Canberra, but there do seem to be lots of Brissie mums around here. I'm just dreading the time when my Mum goes home - she's been my toddler's entertainment!

Nickster

25-03-2005, 14:13

Hi 2under2,
I only have one bub 16weeks old, and I tear my hair out at times trying to do housework, play with her, feed, sleep and occasionally shower myself, so I can sympathise with you for having 2!
I guess you're really good with time management.
As well as the daycare option suggested previously, do you have a mum or MIL etc that would be happy to take your toddler out occasionally and spoil her a bit so you get a little bit of time with bub/housework/showering?
By the way, I live in Underwood.

2under2

25-03-2005, 18:32

Hi Nickster,
My mum lives at Bribie and mil on Straddie so that makes it a bit harder (though is good when i wanna get away for a few days!) ;) she is just starting to not scream when grandad visits so that might be an option....as for time management - i dont know about that! Do you have rellies nearby to help you out? underwood is definitely closer than canberra, would u be interested in meeting for a coffee one day soon? :o

Nickster

25-03-2005, 20:38

Hi 2under2,
I've got my mum nearby at eight mile plains, but she only visits once a week. She's too busy usually going to personal trainers, and voodoo-type new age healers. I shouldn't be unkind, as she does genuinely love her granddaughter, but sometimes I really need her and she just can't be there - it's like everything else takes priority.
My MIL and FIL love baby but are quite old, and have bad backs and lungs, etc, so can't even hold baby when we visit!
Yeah, I'd like to meet for coffee sometime. Just send me a message, and we'll arrange it. see ya!

bubbalove

26-03-2005, 21:58

I've got no family down here... well, my borther, but he refuses to even change nappies, so enough said! sigh!

Nickster

26-03-2005, 22:06

Hey bubba love,

I'm hearing you, my brother absolutely adores Elizabeth, but wouldn't even consider helping by changing a nappy, the concept wouldn't even enter his head!
My mum says "that's just men, though, dear", to which I say bollocks! My hubby helps all the time. If only they realised how much it means just to do little things, or even to offer!

2under2

27-03-2005, 20:52

Hey Bubbalove,
I feel for you there - Lucky all us great bods are here for support then hey! As soon as I learn how to change a nappy over the net I'm all yours!! ;) :p :o :)
Nickster, will send a private msg with details (If I can figure how) re meeting for coffee...
cheers
2under2

Elfin

27-03-2005, 21:26

I used to have 2 under 2 and felt at times it was a struggle but I just developed systems to manage. I used a front carrier for as long as I could. I had a tandem pram, relied on the wiggles more than I should have :o and 'tried 'to get them to sleep at the same time. The house work I have to admit slid quite a bit and I usually only did it when dh was at home. My youngest is now 19mo but if I need my hands free andkeep her contained or somewhere where there is no ramp access I use a back carrier.

Accept offers of help. I found that it people cooked a couple of meals for us that was so appreciated. I also looked for quick style recipes. The coles website www.coles.com.au have a lot of good quick meal ideas

If you can afford it, I would also consider a day of childcare so you can do all your errands, shopping, chores whatever.

I found that when you feed your baby, give your toddler some lunch or morning tea as this keeps them busy for a bit. I also found my toddler liked playing with lego and I would only bring this out at certain times so she didn't get bored with it and kept it as a novelty. If possible use a gate so you can contain and watch your toddler while bf. This will stop your toddler running off through the house and getting into mischief in another room. Or alternatively shut all the doors to bedrooms, bathrooms etc

Hope this helps a little bit and things do get easier especially once you develop your own methods and routines. Good luck, it is challenging but great to have kids so close together.

our little treasures

04-04-2005, 01:14

Thankx for some good advice, I am expecting number two when my dd is 17mnths, although she was planned I am watching her now and wondering when will i be able to feed, change and nurse the little one.
My dd kisses my belly now but I'm sure if she only knew what was inside she might not be so loving!! My dh has 3weeks off and I know he will be my godsend, I have a lot of family that would help but dh and I prefer to
do it. (I'm too picky)
I hope more post threads as well as I would like to hear other ideas.. ;)

Terrible2+1cutie

04-04-2005, 16:35

I have 2 beautiful boys aged 19 months and 4 months old. There is a 15 month gap between them. Having 2 boys under 2 is really hard work but my boys are already really really close. I am probably pretty blessed that my mum is only 5 minutes drive away if i need help at any stage but my partner is also a godsend where he helps whenever he can.

mickyfromkinkin

04-04-2005, 21:51

I have a 21 month old boy and an eight week old boy. I feel like I'm just getting through from moment to moment, flying by the seat of my pants. Something worked for me today ;) I sat my 8 week old up in his pram so he could see us, put my toddler in his high chair with his lunch and sat down at the table with mine. I go somewhere every morning, whether it's playgroup, or the library for story-telling, or visiting a friend, or shopping, or the park so that my toddler is entertained and busy. He usually falls asleep, exhausted, in the car on the way home and is easily transferred to his bed for a sleep. I do as much housework as I can in the morning before I go so that when I come home the house is relatively tidy. I try and get something ready for dinner while toddler is asleep and then, if bub is asleep too, have a rest. After sleep and lunch we go outside to the sandpit, where I can feed/play/settle bub and toddler can play. If bub is asleep inside I use a monitor so that I can spend time outside with toddler. The best thing to do when you're feeding bub is to not focus on bub but chat with your toddler about what he's doing/playing with etc. If my toddler is misbehaving while I'm feeding I pretend I haven't noticed (unless it's dangerous) because if I reprimand him he keeps doing it. Whatever happens, it's all done with love and good intention. :D

ren

06-04-2005, 00:20

While my 2 girls are 3 years apart, I did get some advice from a friend of mine who had 4 in 4 years.....(yes absolute insanity I know!) She made very good use of portacots. If the bub doesn't mind sitting in a rocker put them in the rocker chair and place in portacot. Baby can still be near the family but safe and you can turn your back for a split second (unless toddler can climb in I guess...). She also found involving the toddlers in 'grown up stuff' like helping Mum make dinner or even helping prepare snacks was a good tactic to make them feel grown up.
If the toddler asked her if she was still 'Mummy's baby' she would always answer yes, that mummy has 4 babies and she loves them all. Especially with them being under 2, it helped to not displace their position in the family too much.
One last thing to ponder though, I avoided getting my older daughter to do any baby related chores unless she offered. It makes the baby out to be a chore to the toddler and my friend noticed that some resentment set in when she would ask older ones to get a nappy or take the spewy bib to laundry. Not sure how others perceive this kind of thing. All these ideas are just my opinions/offerings. Would love to hear other ideas on this.
Good luck!!!

Taylor & Lachlans Mummy

06-04-2005, 10:57

Hi Bubba Love,
I am also in Canberra (Gordon) & have 13mths between my two, Taylor is 2 & Lachlan is 1. It can be hard having kids so close together but it also has it rewards, however sleep is not one of them. I am in a young mums group at Lanyon that meets every Tuesday at different places it is gernerally free & we are all under 25. The ages of the kids range from 4yrs to a couple of weeks. If you ring Zorika at the YWCA at Lanyon on 6294 4633, she will give you all the info. We are tryign to get speakers from different areas to come along & we go to kids rampage at tuggeranong this is where we all get to relax as the kids can run & play.
It has become a great outlet for me & the girls are really friendly.
My email is ian_jill@bigpond.net.au if you ever need to talk. :)

bubbalove

06-04-2005, 13:08

Hey jillian

do you have to be under 25? i just turned 25 a few weeks ago!

megan from pullenvale

06-04-2005, 13:54

I am after advice (and support I guess) from other mums with young babies close together. My daughter was 16 months when our son arrived 7 weeks ago. :( So far she has been pretty good, but has started getting into mischief when I am feeding bubs. :eek: Don't know whether it is associated or not, but she is starting to throw a few tantrums as well. Luckily, she still has 2 sleeps most days and throughout the night. Anyone else out there with similar aged babies?

I had two babies under one and the eldest didn't walk until she was 17 months. Needless to wrtie I was very busy. I used to go out three days per week with friends and by myself with the children to keep myslef sane!

We are now having number 3, we will have 3 in 37 months! I am not concerned with the challenge we can either go crazy or get on with it so we have decided just to get on with it.

Megan

Supermum

06-04-2005, 14:57

Hi there - I feel for you. It's difficult getting used to two - even moreso when they're close together.

There's 15 months between my son and my daughter. My daughter is now 10� months however I remember all too well what it was like at the beginning. A portion of your daughter's behaviour could very well be attributed to jealousy - and the rest of it to toddlerhood! She'll get over it - in both instances!

Number one son is a spirited little fella who has been walking and running since 10 months so I had my hands full.

It took me a while but I worked out little ways to help me cope - especially while breastfeeding. There are loads of photo's at home of me feeding Carter on the left while Ben's sitting on my right knee reading a book or doing a puzzle.

My biggest concern was making sure that Ben didn't feel left out so I used to have little chats with him while I was busy with Carter. I'd sit him down on the loungeroom floor with some pencils and paper or give him a puzzle, book or jigsaw to work on. He soon got used to the fact that this little being was here to stay and actually became less interested in what we were doing and started amusing himself.

He is now just over 2 and I find him to be incredibly helpful. Whilst a two year old may not necessarily know how to speak perfectly, they understand so very much. So now Ben gets me spoons and tissues, socks and shoes and is forever hugging his 'thister tarter' :o

I also have a tandem pram to help me get around with the two of them. I've known lots of people who made do with one pram though and just had the biggest bub sit at the front ... don't think my spirited child would have had that for long! As your son is still very small -have you thought about a sling to get around?

My only piece of advice - the first time bub number one clocks bub number two ... try really hard not to lose it. :eek:

GOOD LUCK!

Taylor & Lachlans Mummy

06-04-2005, 15:17

Bubba Love,
Nope dont thinks os, Ill be 25 in a few mths, & there are a few others that are turning 25 this year as well. I dont think it really matters & they dont ask how old you are (they didnt with me) I think they have just made it a young mums group & our age doesnt matter. Besides its not for us but more for the kids so it shouldnt matter.

RuthK

07-04-2005, 08:54

My son was 18 monhts old when my daughter came along. He's pretty easy-going so we've never had too many problems, but one trick that did work re: sleeptime was putting my son into his own bed 2 months before my daughter arrived. He was only 16 months, but very agile, and with a side rail up against the bed, he managed well. We made a big distinction about him being so grown up and in his own bed and the new baby being in a special baby-cot. It worked a treat.

paulaj

07-04-2005, 16:41

I have 2 boys..... just over 12 months apart...youngest one has just gone 11 weeks(Oliver). It is hard but, i wouldn't change it and would do it again. .

Eli loves his brother! before I sit down to feed Oliver, I put Eli on the play mat with his toys and bring Oliver out to him we sit down and have a little play,hug and a kiss then I go and feed Oliver, doing this I find that Eli isn't trying to get my attention as he has already had it and has played with Oliver also.
hope it helps

Grace3

07-04-2005, 21:44

I have a little boy who is just 13 months old and due with our 2nd baby in just over 3 months. I am nervous about the unknown and how I am going to cope. We planned to have them close and not wait to long as it took a long time to fall pregnant the first time. I have been told it is hard for the first 12 months but then its good after that.

2under2

11-04-2005, 21:18

Hi everyone, thanks for your replies! I noticed that when I reacted to dd getting into mischief, she kept going (or got worse) so now ignore (while still watching from the corner of my eye).
The new drama is ds has started crying for hours on end of an evening (colic??? :( ) which is making things a bit tricky. My husband was working a g/yard shift (11pm till 730 am) so he trying to sleep through it. He isn't the best person to relate to without sleep so I was totally stressing out! His shift has changed and now is working 230pm till midnight so now i can just spend the evenings wondering the house fruitlessly trying to settle bub! Zoe occasionally tries to compete with the screamfest but generally is pretty good. Tellytubbies are a godsend! Bub is fed, burped, starts screaming, has a bath (which he loves and settles in), continues screaming and only settles while over my shoulder standing up (will need some major massage therapy very soon) and then falls asleep on my boob a couple of hours after it all begins.
I have been told this will pass - I hope so cause it is really upsetting to not be able to comfort a wee little bubba! :o
Any ideas for dealing with the colic?? :confused:

Taylor & Lachlans Mummy

12-04-2005, 10:52

Go to the chemist & get brauers colic relief. it is all natural & just relaxs their tummy muscles helping them to settle.
It works wonders with in an hour of giving it to them, I used it with LAchlan who always had colic or built up wind. :)

draught

12-04-2005, 21:16

My two girls are 20 months apart so you have my sympathy, but I can assure you it gets better - and pretty quickly! 6 months down the track we are going quite well. Everyone else has given great tips but a couple of things which might help:
(1) My eldest daughter also started tantrums at 16 months but our baby hadn't arrived so, as a friend says, it is just developmentally appropriate behaviour, so treat it as such.
(2) Worship the Teletubbies, but don't worry - you won't need them for ever. (Voice of experience).
(3) Use a pouch or a sling for the witching hour - dd2 also needed to be held and cried right through the time when dd1 needed to be fed, bathed and put to bed, and my husband is away a lot or on shift. I had a baby bjorn but I just bought a sling from Amanda at www.carryingaway.com.au - she is in Brisbane so you can see her for advice etc - and I wish I had bought one earlier as it would have been perfect for dd2 when she was smaller and we had all that time of rocking, feeding, rocking, feeding etc. As for colic or anything else - I have no answers other than I did the hours of feeding and holding and feeding etc and it passed pretty quickly (weeks as opposed to months).
(4) There are great massage therapists at No More Knots in Greenslopes and MacGregor - 38916555 - who have helped me a lot with the back, shoulder and arm pain from carrying dd2 (and dd1).
(5) Grocery shopping works okay with one in the pouch and one in the trolley, but I have just discovered www.fooddirect.com.au who are based in Brisbane and am going to check them out - if they do as they promise then the $9 delivery fee will be worth it!
(6) I have one day a week of family day care and it means dd1 gets a day of different activities while I can clean the house, make phone calls, do messages and spend time with dd2 giving her one on one attention for a few hours.

Six months into it we are doing okay. dd1 is happy to see dd2 when she wakes up, and although I have no idea how this has happened, she never gets angry with dd2 when I have to say that I can't do something - she gets angry with me, which is logical as I am the one saying no. So far they seem to like each other. So - it will improve. Just think - one day in the not too distant future you will have time to sit and type far too much in a forum like I have just done!!

Oscar&Liliana

15-04-2005, 13:46

Howdy. I have a 25 month old and a 4 month old. I am bottle feeding and I find it is helpful to sit in my 25mth old's room with the door shut while I am feeding baby. That way, he gets to play in a safe environment and I can see him all the time. I tried the louge room routine, but he gets out of eyesight and gets into everything.

I also try to encourage lots of kisses and cuddles with the new baby, and dedicate evening time for the older one when my husband gets home, so that he gets both our undivided attention. Apart from that, when he throughs a tantrum, he goes to his room for 2 minutes for time out.

Good luck!

Nora

18-04-2005, 19:51

Hello

I have my daughter 1 day after my son turn 1 year. It is a hard work trying to juggle working full time and so on. But during the day I have nanny looking after both of them but weekend and after work I do everything myself which is not easy. Try carrying a baby and pushing the shopping trolley. Or having both of them crying at the same time. It is more or less like having a twin.

But now both of them are 3 years and 4 months and 2 years 4 months. They are closer to each other and always talking and playing toghether. But there are times when both of them just claw at each other.

Maybe the gap between them are closer, the big brother never learn to be jealous of the sister. Always thinking of the sister.

Next year will be my son preschool year. I wonder whether they can be separated because they never go anywhere with one another.

timpalok

11-02-2007, 00:03

hi i have a five month old and a 16 month old and it is hard work just have to hang in there i am from sydney and are looking for mums with 2 kids under 12 months to chat to i have no support and would love to here from anyone who has advise thanks

jessgray

11-02-2007, 07:36

i have 2 under 2. my oldest boy is 22 months this month my youngest is almost 4 months they are a few days short of being 18 months apart.

Sara's Boys

24-02-2007, 22:32

My boys are 15 months apart. This was planned, although I hadn't realised just how hard the first one would become after turning one.

Now my youngest is three monthys and I must say I have struggled through so many days since having him, that I have often found myself sobbing uncontrollobly. I guess I thought I was ready, but at the time wyhen ttc no 2 was only 5 months and looking back, twas a piece of cake compared to the now toddler stage he is in.

I joined a support group for women not coping with having 2 children, this is helping me to prioritise and to manage my stress, by eliminating stressful things and freeing up time for the good stuff (cuddles)

Having said all of that, now that I have my 3 mo's reflux under control, I am starting to really enjoy his beautiful character, and it is starting to get easier, day by day. And even after all this I am thinking about no 3-not ttcing for atleast a year!-

The biggest thing that has helped me thus far is,

FORGET THE WASHING!!!

YOU CAN PICK UP THE TOYS 10 TIMES A DAY, THEY WILL END UP DOWN THE HALLWAY EVERY TIME.....SO JUST DO IT ONCE, WHEN THE KIDS ARE ASLEEP.

REMEMBER TO ENJOY THE YOUNGER ONE...BLOW MANY RASPBERRIES ON HIS/HER TUM AND TICKLE TOES.-THESE ARE THE THINGS WE WILL REMEMBER, NOT THE STRESS

AND I TRY TO ROUTINE THEM INTO SLEEPING THE SAME TIME IN THE AFTERNOON, AND THEN HAVE A NAP YOURSELF.

my survival tips.

The other thing that I am doing now is taking my toddler to day care for 2 hours once a week, so I can have some time with my lil felix.

I hope it gets better for you, i know it will...it always does. WOMEN are INCREDIBLY ADAPTABLE and STRONG! PM me if you want to chat

8thMarch2006

06-03-2007, 23:05

Hi, I have just found out that despite the odds I am pregnant again. I have a little boy who has just turned one and he is a handful but sooo lovely. I have no idea how we are going to do this! Just letting you all know that I am watching this thread with great anticipation!
LET YOUR WISDOM FLOW!!!!!
Katie :hugs:

BecH

07-03-2007, 08:11

Well this is invaluable.

I am having twins and my oldest will be 22 months. So I will actually have 3 under 2. I get really scared but am hoping that we will cope. Sleep deprivation is what has me the most scared as my first is a shocking sleeper.

So lots of mums said going out was good I was planning to stay home a lot but maybe it would be better to get out and about as much as I can.

Thanks for the thread.
Bec

lilpearl

15-03-2007, 13:52

Mine were 17 months apart, and my next will be 19 months apart. If you can get in a story or little play with your toddler before feeding, they will be less inclined to play up when they don't ahve all attention lavished upon them. Also, feeding while your toddler is having a snack, or watching a video/playing with a special toy, etc can help. I also always made sure that they slept at the same time int he middle of the day. After my sons lunch, he'd go down for his sleep, then I'd feed the baby and she'd, naturally, fall right asleep after that....so that fmeant that I generally had at least an hour free to myself in the middle of the day. Sometimes I used it to get houswork done, but I think I mainly used it to read a magazine, have some lunch and just be with my thoughts! it's so important that a mothergets that time to herself...then, aven if the afternoon/evening is exhausting, you have had that bit of a break to get you through with a smile (most of the time!). Good luck!