The Many Roads to Single Parenthood

[Pobblebonk]

:wave: How are you?

I thought it might be an idea to start a thread on how we became single parents? You can say as much or as little as you like. We just might find that others out there are going through or have gone through similar situations to our own, and thus broaden our support networks.

So I'll start:

I broke up with my ex while I was pregnant with Mr Chicken because I was miserable, constantly stressed, and felt like I was the third wheel in our relationship.

We did get back together briefly after Mr Chicken was born, but he didn't like the idea of supporting us, and I didn't like the idea of ripping off Centrelink, so he moved back in with his mother after I got sick of listening to him whinge about how he never had any money for himself anymore...

Now everyone's happy.

[Femme-Fetale]

Mines a long one so ill try point form it and make it shorter


Together for 2 yrs
found out i was preg and he said abort
i denied, he ran whilst i was away, left work, changed name, the lot
i found him in NSW and tried to get him to come back
he stuffed around with the whole will and wont and it always came back to getting an abortion
i was beyond abortion at the time and said no hope and kept trying to get him to come back
one night i got jack of it and told him to stay there, i didnt need it, ill be fine
5 days later he was back and moved into MY house and i didnt even say ok but once he was there, he was there
he was good in terms of living with, i was glad he was home but didnt trust him
i then caught him out on several other major lies in the time he came back to the birth of our son
i tried to move through the betrayal and tried to forgive and love him again the way i used to
didnt work, so when DS was 12 weeks i told ex to leave and he did within the week


Oh and the major scare factor for me is that dad is a flight risk (muslim) and i have his 1st born son!! :eek:

We get along now though and i sometimes wonder but it will never happen and im ok with that and have moved on and dated 2 guys short term. For now though, ive realised, as much as i wanted to date, i really dont, so im happy just being me

[the_original_duchess]

he sent me a text message saying it was over. i had no idea there was even a problem in our relationship. i was due to have our 3rd child in 2 weeks from when he left. now i found out that he is seeing someone else, im 99% sure of it. i dont know if he was seeing this person before he left or not.
mind you the night before he left we had made love and he told me how much he loved me, and how he was looking forward to having our baby. and now im alone, he does everything in his power to make me unhapy, our son is sick in the hospital atm, and he doenst even go see him. he just ggoes out and parties, and acts like he doenst have kids, and we were never maried for 4 years.
i hate him and i wish he would drive over a cliff so i can behappy.

[Femme-Fetale]

Im so sorry for your situation Danielle. i wish i could help you out! You sound like you need some hugs, some support and someone to just cry with! :hugs:

[meme]

i am a soul parent now, as many of you know my partner died in january this year.

i have been a soul parent before, in that case i choose to live apart from my boyfriend in the hope that he would discover what he was missing out on. i like to think that he was realising.
sadly he left me here on earth alone aswell. dying when our daughter was only 7mths old.

[Femme-Fetale]

Oh no, great big hugs to you!
I know another here who has suffered the same loss, i hope she pops in!

[Amberlea]

i am a soul parent now, as many of you know my partner died in january this year.
i have been a soul parent before, in that case i choose to live apart from my boyfriend in the hope that he would discover what he was missing out on. i like to think that he was realising.
sadly he left me here on earth alone aswell. dying when our daughter was only 7mths old.

*pops in*

I'm so sorry to hear that love.
My eldest daughters daddy (my soul mate) died when she was 9 months old... so a long time ago now - but I still have to deal with missing him everyday.
I'm hopeless at offering the right words and support.. but know that I am thinking of you.

Shannon

[Amberlea]

Ill post again to state why I am a single parent...

First time - my soul mate had leukaemia - he was diagnosed when i was 9 months pregnant - I was his sole carer throughout everything including BMT) ... he lasted until our baby girl was 9 months old.
He was buried on my 17th birthday

My sons father - well - he was a s*ut... and a **** father.. thats all that needs to be said.
He had 3 children besides our son - and he didnt do anything for them - never paid maintenance - nothing (didnt find this out till i left him and spoke to his ex wife - lovely girl)

My youngests father....
Ohhh god where do I start
All sides of domestic abuse.
Trapped for 5 years.

[meme]

hi shannon.
i'm glad you popped in.
i know there are no good words to use.
but it is comforting to know i am not alone:hugs:

[munchkin05]

i became a single mum cause my ex couldnt keep his penis in his pants !!!!

it was 2 weeks after bens 1st bday and i found out that he had been seeing her for 2mths before hand

he tried to tell his family in s.a that i had pnd and needed me to go there for a month to see if it would help :eek: but in actual fact he wanted to see what he wanted before making a decission

[Amberlea]

hi shannon.
i'm glad you popped in.
i know there are no good words to use.
but it is comforting to know i am not alone:hugs:


It is hard lovely - I was 16 and of course had no friends who stood by me to help me out (they were too interested in partying).. but it does get easier... trust me.

You will be fine - if you want to talk at any time... please don't hesitate to pm me :hugs:

[OneBabyBoy]

Mine is hard to explain. My ex was a compulsive liar. He treated me badly and took advantage of me. We had massive trust issues. Our relationship was just insane. But I still thought we would get through it all and be together forever. I loved him with all of my heart. 2 weeks before what was going to be our wedding day he told me that he no longer thinks he can be a husband or father. He has too many of his own issues to sort out first.
He moved out. It broke my heart into a million pieces.
I was 32 weeks pregnant and in hospital for pre-eclampsia.
We were off and on for a while, just making the whole breaking up process much worse and much messier.
He had moved in with his best friend, and now, 9 months later, they are still partying, and being complete slobs with no responsibility at all. He was seeing someone but I'm not sure if he still is (I don't think so and I don't care).
He is getting better at coming to see DS, he now sees DS about once a month to once every 6 weeks or so. We are at a point now where I think we are getting along finally, and I hope one day I can be friends with him.
I no longer love him and I can now see that him leaving was probably the best thing he ever did for me, but it took alot of hurt to finally see that.

[KaM]

I was single when I found out I was pregnant. Matilda's father was a man I met online.. he spent time in Australia (thats a whole nother thread right there).. . he went home and a few weeks later I discovered I was pregnant. When the thought occured to me. . I actually prayed for it in a way . .I asked the world for one good thing to have come from having him in my life. .and I did get my wish.

We speak maybe once every 3 or 4 wks. He shows no real interest. Its more something he does cause he feels an obligation. In the beginning I wished he was here.. but now .. Im thankful he isnt

[ashleerose]

Well at first I felt like a fairy tale i was cinderella and everything was the way it should be.
He was my childhood crush, and we lost contact until ten years later i ran into his mum and she passed the message on to him.

And so one day i came home to my beautiful villa from work and there was a message from him, we talked for hours that night.

I was in NSW he was in QLD.
Time passed once again and I thought that nothing would ever evenuate, but one night he rang me and said he was at his mums house, and did i want to meet up with him.

So i called my sister and her boyfriend and was given a lift over to pick him up and bring him back to my villa. We spoke all night on the back verandah, and when we did go to bed we went to sleep in each others arms (we didnt do anything on the first night).
Or for a while after, he knew that i was 'the one' or so he told me.

Eventually we moved in together and of course i became pregnant, engaged and married before bubs was born.

When our daughter was born he was the best husband/father one could ever wish for.
For awhile it was like a dream.

But then he changed, began thinking he was a single man and started doing drugs etc.

I tried desperately to save the relationship.
I no longer felt special to him, despite doing everything i could to make him feel happy it wasnt enough.

There were other signs as well, girls calling and hanging up, him obtaining a mobile phone and having it joined at his hip, but if i ever needed to contact him the phone was turned off?

I could take alot of mental abuse, because i no longer had any self esteem left. He had taken me and all but destroyed me, and so the physical abuse was easy for him to give and me to take.

All the while, I wanted my family to think that i had the fairytale marriage and I was happy (how could they know any different despite the fact that we had moved six hours away from them).

I wanted my kids to have what i had as a child a mum and a dad in the same home.

But in the end, i almost lost my life because I wanted what I thought everyone should have and now i have come to realise that my biggest fear of being a single mum isnt as bad as i thought.

Now i can get up in the morning, I can open the curtain, I can laugh, I can walk down the street,
I can make a phone call, I can study, go to work and
most of all I can be me.

[ashleerose]

oops, sorry my post was so long got into my writers mode.....hehehe.

[OneBabyBoy]

Now i can get up in the morning, I can open the curtain, I can laugh, I can walk down the street,
I can make a phone call, I can study, go to work and
most of all I can be me.

I love that sentance ashleerose. It really shows that it can all be worth it :hugs: :hugs:

[Snuffys Mum]

I became a single mum when I was 10 weeks pregnant.

My husband just announced one night out of the blue that he didn't love me anymore and had decided that he didn't want to be a father afterall (despite the pregnancy being planned). There was a third party involved but he still denies that. Never the less, he and she are currently travelling overseas and he's never even asked about let alone seen our son.

[Veritas]

Well.... great thread by the way Pobbles...

My ex and I had been together about 6 mths when he moved in with me.... his first time out of home.....

We lived together about 3 mths and when the lease was up he decided he wanted to move home to save for his own house... so fair enough, after him almost leaving me high and dry with nowhere to go (I was NOT moving in with his mother), I got over it and we moved forward (I was planning to move out on my own again)....

Well two weeks before the move was to happen I found out I was pg.... thought it was stress that had made me late but when my emotions were all over the shop and I cried at nothing one day I knew something was up... I was 7wks when I found out....

His initial reaction was "get rid of it or I'll leave you".... and I said no way.... we spent a couple of weeks pretending everything was ok, and he dumped me xmas eve 2005.... I was 2 and a bit mths pg....

I tried for us to stay friends but it always seemed to be me putting in the effort, so I told him he needed to show me he could be comitted to his child or to bugger off.... he stopped talking to me when I was about 5 mths pg.... dropped a letter at my door when he knew i wouldn't be home saying he wanted nothing to do with us, and asking whether i would be claiming child support... he was supposed to be coming to visit and talk things over....

He still has not seen his DD other than to look the other way when we are at the same place as him.... he finds it hard to get away from us, as we both play for the same sporting team, so are in the same place at least once a week now....

As hard as I have tried to get him and his fam involved in P's life they refuse to, so I give up.... they are missing out.... and have showed their true character or lack thereof.....

[singlemum]

well mine is a long story but here i go anyway

* Met when waxs 16
*Pregent at 18and lost our child when i was 18 due to SIds
*Married 2 yrs later
* Pregent when got married
*Gave birth to Melissa a month later went back to work
*A few years went by i thought we were happy and had planned for another child and then i found out i was pregent and then i came home one day early from work and i found a pair of undies of another fwomen in the hallway i didnt say anything i just kept quiet and went to our bedroom and there i found him and my best friend in bed. I just told him to get out and that i never wanted to see him or her again the next day he came and said i am moving inter state he gave me his new home number$2000 cash h and then took off. He rang me 2 days later and asked if i was ok i hang up on him.

* I gave birth to Amy on my own with friend around he wasnt even there and then i got an e mail from him sayig how is everythin and could i send him pictures of her i didnt reply and then he turned up he and said do u min if i see my daughter i let him in and we talked he and my was best friend are still together he is giving me money for the kids and he is still living inter state. I took the kids down just after easter to see him and i told him hat i will let him see the kids just as long as his new gf doesnt see them.


Thats my life i am now 26 almost 27 and i ma single mum with 2 girls and i have got a house paid off for m by him and i am happy most of the time!!

[singlemum]

its really good to knoe that i am not the only one who has got alot of problems i feel sorry for all of u

Love to u all and hugs to u.

Maybe we are better with out men

[baileysmum05]

I have been a single mum since I was 4mths pregnant - My ex and I were living together at the time,very unhealthy relationship from day one and as son was not planned I stayed to try and give our unborn child a mum and dad that were together under the one roof - big mistake now!

After 2mths of physical and emotional abuse I decided to leave and moved back to brisbane with alot of support from a really good friend and my family,he had me at the point that I was thinking that it was my fault and every time he would hit me I would believe that I deserved it-the last straw was when I was 3 and a bit months pregnant and he threw me in a garden - I knew that I had to leave to save not only my life but my unborn childs.

In October 2005 I gave birth to my gorgeous baby boy and life has been up and down since then - my sons father still tries to play mind games with me when it comes to seeing our son.

My sons father does not pay maintaince and doesnt see him due to the fact that I cant trust him not to take off with Bailey or help me raise our son in the right way.

I am now a full time working mum and have just started seeing a wonderful guy who seems so unreal at times - he treats me and bailey like we are gold and a priority in his life.

Sorry its so long ladies

[~*clairesmum*~]

hi

well where do i start me and ex were together for 2.5yrs and e broke up 3mths ago we were going to get married 2mths before we broke up, he said me and claire were a tir down for him and he wanted to be single, so i moved out then we had a fight there were DVO'S out on him and his mother they tried to take claire off me, then we sorted everything out then about a mth ago he told me as we tell each other everything if its good or bad, that he was sleeping with guys when he went out clubbing as he goes out every nite, i was shocked then we had a fight as that was something that i didnt really want to no, this wkend i went clubbing with him to the beat which is a gay bar and i caught him making out with a guy, wasnt happy jan, anywho he only ever see's claire for a couple of hrs every sunday thats all sometimes he does even do that, when i was out for the say my mum was looking after her he took her for a ocuple of hrs then found out this wkend he didnt look after he his mate did well he slepted and his "boy friend" was there as well, i also just found out that my ex was going out with this guy for 7mths and e have only been broken up for 3, sorry this is a long post but now i feel a lot better that i have got most of this stuff of my chest

[SweetSerenity]

For now though, ive realised, as much as i wanted to date, i really dont, so im happy just being me

Me too:yes: I realised this pretty much straight after i split up with my ex husband in January. I dont need a man nor do i want one.


But in the end, i almost lost my life because I wanted what I thought everyone should have and now i have come to realise that my biggest fear of being a single mum isnt as bad as i thought.

Now i can get up in the morning, I can open the curtain, I can laugh, I can walk down the street,
I can make a phone call, I can study, go to work and
most of all I can be me.

I love what you wrote here... I felt scared of being a single mum too but have now embraced it with every bone in me. I love it and wouldnt want it any other way:D

[SweetSerenity]

First off, i have read everyones stories and its amazing the diversity in everyones lives. Its really interesting seeing how differently we become single mummies.

My story:

Okay, i met my ex on my 18th birthday. I went out with my work friends to celebrate and we met through a mutual friend. I also met another guy that night..So the next morning i had two numbers and liked both of these guys but wanted to choose one to date (im not a beleiver in dating more than one person at a time).

So i chose my ex. We were inseparable from that night.

We fell in love, talked about being together forever, about what would happen "if" i fell pregnant etc..

Then in March 2004 i found out i was 6 weeks pregnant.

I have not cried so much in my life. I told my ex and he was shocked but happy. Telling me he wanted to be a father so much, he always wanted a happy little family and even though he didnt want it this early he was prepared to be that family.

Me, i was very undecided. I didnt want this baby. Not yet. I wasnt ready. I just turned 18, i havent lived, i havent experienced anything. I have only been with this guy for 4 months!!!

I booked an abortion.

After telling the ex he was accepting of it but obviously kept saying to me "i am ready to be a dad nat... i would love this"... "but its your body in the end".

So after him saying things like that to me, and then going to work the next day dealing with this little toddler who came into the chemist with a cut on his head and crying and looking at me with such dread in his eyes, i felt awful for booking my abortion. So that night i told mum i was cancelling the appointment for the following day.

So our little boy came in our lives in Dec o4, just after a years of being together. We were engaged and my ex moved in with my family and i so we could be together.

My ex hated giving up his "young single male" life.

There were many signs that i should not be with him, he's not the one for me but i wanted to do the right thing by staying together and being a family.

We got married October 2005.

We moved out into our own place in February 2006 then i broke up with him in April 2006.

He changed me into this sad, angry person. He emotionally abused me so much i couldnt handle it anymore.

He got a gf straight away, ignored our son so much and was a complete ****!

Then stupid me took him back 5 months after separating. That lasted 4 months and then again i ended it early January this year.

It doesnt matter how much you want things to work, if things arent meant to be they arent meant to be.

He is too selfish, aggressive and controlling to be with. I wasnt going to have peter and i live like that for the rest of our lives.

So after a year and 2 months of our first separation, peter and i are living in our own home (renting) and loving our new life.

I wouldnt change one thing:no:

Sorry its long!

[the_queen]

When my daughter was 2, I left my verbally and emotionally abusive husband and we moved into a women's shelter, and then into community housing. After a few months my husband started coming over and wanting to spend time with us, wanting to sleep over etc. I refused to get back together unless we went to counselling, which eventually we did, and then we moved back in together. 6 months later I KNEW I shouldn't have gone back - but then in the next couple of months of trying to organise how to leave again etc, I found out I was pregnant. That's when the real him really came out :devil6: Statements like "I never really wanted to get back together with you, I just wanted to stop paying child support" and "I'd rather live with someone I hate than pay money to someone I hate" and words like wh0re b!ch s1ut etc. Many fights which ended with one of us saying "why don't you just leave then, you're so unhappy!" and when I was 38 weeks pregnant, I shouted that at him and he stopped, took a deep breath, looked at me with all seroiusness and said "actually I don't think it should be me who leaves. It should be you, you need to find somewhere else to live" :laughing: I laughed at him and said "what kind of man are you, to kick out your 38 week pregnant wife and 4 yr old daughter onto the streets?" And he said "oh well, of course you can wait until the baby is born". Idiot. I put aside some of the baby bonus money to eventually move out, I thought I'd stay until Christmas (boy would be 7 months) so we could have one last christmas together as a Family. But then things started happening, like he spent all the money in our joint account on a computer thingo, so I had to use my "run away" money to pay rent and bills and put petrol in the car. Then he started with the physical abuse - nothing hard-core, but it went from "absolutely none" to "very ocassionally some" and I didn't like where that would eventually lead to. It always starts with just a bit of shoving etc, doesn't it. And once, he was holding our 2 week old boy and he started kicking things around the room, because I hadn't cleaned up to his liking :rolleyes: When my boy was 4 months old, an opportunity presented itself to me, my parents were coming to town and were going home with an empty trailer, so I asked them to pick us up and we stayed with them for 3 weeks before renting my sister's house. Then about 3 weeks ago, I rented a farmhouse 25kms out of town, and we have never been happier.


There are so many sad and inspiring and strong stories on this thread. We are women, hear us roar,etc.

:hugs: to you all, my soul sisters

[Pobblebonk]

Thank you to everyone who has posted their 'Road To Single Parenthood'.

As I said in my OP, many of us will be able to find similarities and that our roads might 'cross' or 'merge' into each other.

Some of us, will have done a U turn (like myself) only to find that it was a 'Wrong Way Turn Back'.

However, we're all 'travelling this road' together, and sometimes it's nice to 'share a cab'...

Okay! All the tragic metaphors are now over!

[Snuffys Mum]

Okay! All the tragic metaphors are now over!

Tragic's not the word! :rolleyes:

:p :laughing:

[Pobblebonk]

Tragic's not the word! :rolleyes:

:p :laughing:

Why don't you just 'Keep Left'... :p

[Snuffys Mum]

Why don't you just 'Keep Left'... :p

Oh Yeah?!

*Drops down a gear and speeds past Pobblebonk screaming "Eat my dust Biatch!"*

[Pobblebonk]

Oh Yeah?!

*Drops down a gear and speeds past Pobblebonk screaming "Eat my dust Biatch!"*

*Ahem* Mind that speed camera up there.

*putters past a pulled over Snuffy's Mum with a very embarassed Snuffy in the back, also while I admire ding from Mum running into post*

Looks like it's too late! NER.

[Snuffys Mum]

*Ahem* Mind that speed camera up there.

*putters past a pulled over Snuffy's Mum with a very embarassed Snuffy in the back, also while I admire ding from Mum running into post*

Looks like it's too late! NER.

Touche! :o

*Makes mental note not to mess with someone is knows all my past vehicular indescretions.* :laughing:

[Pobblebonk]

Yeah! You're a thread hijacker!

*Makes mental note not to COME UP WITH TRAGIC METAPHORS!*

[Snuffys Mum]

*Makes mental note not to COME UP WITH TRAGIC METAPHORS!*

Then my work here is done.

*Walks off dusting hands*

[Pobblebonk]

Where are you going, Snuffy's Mum? I hope it's towards the panel beaters! :P

[Snuffys Mum]

Where are you going, Snuffy's Mum? I hope it's towards the panel beaters! :P

Sticks and Stones, Pobbles, Sticks and Stones.

[SimplyMum]

For a very breif 5min- this was the best laugh in a long time!!!

[Snuffys Mum]

For a very breif 5min- this was the best laugh in a long time!!!

Happy to be of service. :D

[Pobblebonk]

Sticks and Stones, Pobbles, Sticks and Stones.

I do believe you mean poles and driveways...

[Pobblebonk]

For a very breif 5min- this was the best laugh in a long time!!!

I know what you mean... The image of Snuffy's Mum reversing into a pole in her own driveway is pretty funny. :D

[tyler's mum]

I was only seeing tyler's day for a short time. I broke it of knowing it wasnt goin to work. 6 weeks later i found out i was pg. WE had already lost contact:o

[nelly75]

We were together almost 2 years living together for almost 1, decided not to continue the relationship when the lease was up. Then found out I was pg, so stuck it out, had DS 2, then got married, realised we were not happy and couldn't stay this way so separated, still get along well most of the time but still have our differences.

Since he left I have felt so excited at the thought of starting fresh, so I know it was the right decision and I'm glad he made it!

[Snuffys Mum]

I do believe you mean poles and driveways...


I know what you mean... The image of Snuffy's Mum reversing into a pole in her own driveway is pretty funny. :D


:p Now who's a thread hijacker?

[Ana Gram]

I got together with DD's father less than a year after my boyfriend died. Grief can make people do funny things. in my case, I had a child with a man I have no physical, mental or emotional attraction to. Unfortunately, I only realised this last year .

[Pobblebonk]

I had a child with a man I have no physical, mental or emotional attraction to.

I feel the same way about my ex...

[KaM]

I had a child with a man I have no physical, mental or emotional attraction to. Unfortunately, I only realised this last year .

:yes: This rings true with my ex as well. Matilda was a good 6 mths old before I realised the reality.

[Veritas]

I feel the same way about my ex...

Me too.... after seeing him a couple of weeks ago all I could think was "What was I thinking????"....

I think he is so pathetic I don't even have the inclination to hate him.... rather I pity him.....

[jenniferweez]

My ex and I had been inseperable since we met when we were 18 & 19 respectively. We lived together for 3 years & basically I was so in love I thought we would spend the rest of our lives together ; so did our families & friends ; so when my ex decided 4 years into our relationship that he didn't love me anymore, it was more than a shock. I thought my whole world was going to cave in!! Anyway, he packed all my things and basically kicked me out, all within 24hours. It was a VERY quick break up, no explanations why he didn't love me anymore or anything!

Anywho, 10 weeks after separating I found out I was 8 weeks pregnant. So...I thought to myself "just my luck"! I always imagined having children with him, just not in this situation! I ended up telling him and he asked me to abort, but I refused. So, when I told him I was keeping it, at first he had a massive psycho, threatening me & telling me that I was the biggest waste of time and that I had ruined his life....

So cut a long story short (well a bit shorter, hehe, sorry!) I try not to speak with him at all anymore, he doesn't want to have anything to do 'us' ; meaning me & the baby ; anytime we communicate it's through email only and even those get a bit heated sometimes, haha!

I'm still quite close with his family....except his parents, they to this day, still don't know that I'm having a baby! The reason he hasn't told them (nor has the rest of his family), is that my ex knows they will want us to get married because 1) their religion & 2) because it would put their family to shame if we weren't!!

As we had a lot of mutual friends & I still see his family quite often, I hear about the things he gets up to & basically he just wanted to go back to being a single crazy male. Apparently he's out at clubs all weekend, totally blind drunk & on a cocktail of drugs...which is fine, if that's what he wants to do, but I just fear the day he tries to come back into our lives & wants to have something do with his son....he's got another thing coming if he thinks it would be so easy!!

Anyway, despite all that I've had a great pregnancy and even though it was hard to deal with the break up in the beginning, I accepted it pretty quickly and I know that I don't love him anymore, which helps alot, I just look to the future and know that there is someone else out there for me. I've actually already met someone, but we have decided to just be "friends" until I have the bub & everything settles, so maybe in 6 mths time or something, we'll see where things go then!

:D Thanks for listening to my story...

[Pobblebonk]

.... after seeing him a couple of weeks ago all I could think was "What was I thinking????"....

I think he is so pathetic I don't even have the inclination to hate him.... rather I pity him.....

Me three!

[Chanelc]

My story;
* meet him and 5 weeks later was pregnant - we were apparently madly in love
* Chanel was born an dat 3 months I left him as he was not supporting me emotionally or anything
* we tried a second time when she was 7 months
* on 2007 NYE he told me he wanted to do drugs
* Realised he being doing drugs the whole time
* He states he has been clean since NYE - and wants me & Chanel back (Still!)
So over him and his lies. Very happy being a single mum and look forward to a better future
Hey we ALL DESERVE LOVE and the RIGHT MAN to love us and love them... finger cross it happens for each and everyone!

[Pobblebonk]

:p Now who's a thread hijacker?

You can't hijack your own thread, KATH! :p :p

[SimplyMum]

Ok, the 'quick' run down. We'll call my ex Mr X (sounds kind of elusive!)

Dated Mr X for 1 yr, broke it off- not working out.
2 weeks later I found out I was 10 weeks pregnant, had only a couple of weeks to decided what to do.
Mr X wanted to keep the baby, and also said he couldn't have 2 children to 2 different girls and not be with either one- I said well tough, I'm not being with someone under false pretences.
He also came up with some 'other' ideas. He couldn't look at a child if he didn't like the name! He wanted to be more of an uncle figure rather than a father figure etc.
When I told him, I didn't want him included in this babies life he told his mother (whom he had told I was pregnant) that I had had an abortion.
Had Baby, he doesn't know his name, DOB, what colour eyes his has or that his son is the most gorgeous kid I've personally ever seen :D !!!
We don't have any mutual friends so I don't know how he is doing or what he is up to. But I'm sure it still involves illegal substances!

[Snuffys Mum]

You can't hijack your own thread, KATH! :p :p

Kath?! Is there a new single mummy around that I haven't met yet?

Helloooo!!! Kath!!! Show yourself!!!!!

[Karrina]

All I can say is that 'Women are DEFINATELY the stronger of the species - without a doubt':yes:

There are so many sad yet inspiring stories I have just read...

Mine:

Met in 2001 'Mr Charming, Mr Lovely', moved in together in 2002 had our first baby in 2003.

He started showing signs of 'Mr Nasty' every now and again and by the time DD was 2 he was starting to become a miserable, moody man - I thought it was his drug use so he went into detox things got better for a while.

By the time DD was 3 things were getting worse again but now there was no excuse with drugs. He was becoming nasty and agressive so we went to counselling together and things got better for a while again. I fell pregnant with DS in April last year and while I was pregnant 'Mr Nasty' was reappearing. It just got to a stage where I realised that 'My Nasty' would always be around and it would take a lot of work to try to keep things together. My Mr Charming had almost dissappeared and with that so had my love for him, he had destroyed it.

The final straw came on my birthday in April this year when he tried to make sure I was miserable yet again for any special occassion - I found the strength to do what I knew I should have done much earlier and I ended it.

I was so suprised how EASY everything became when I finished it and how relieved I was.

Something I didn't expect is the lack of interest he is having in the children. He was always a wonderful dad to DD but seems to be cutting his ties and responsibilities. Either way I can't put anymore energy into his issues (which seemed always much more important than mine) so his loss if he wants it that way.

I am struggling a bit with caring for the two children, mortage and part time work but my big tip ... it is all worth it. I am finding myself again and starting to feel joy, joy, joy!!!

BRING IT ON :D

Men? No interest what so ever:thumbsdown:

[Lastcenturymum]

I'm still quite close with his family....except his parents, they to this day, still don't know that I'm having a baby! The reason he hasn't told them (nor has the rest of his family), is that my ex knows they will want us to get married because 1) their religion & 2) because it would put their family to shame if we weren't!!

As we had a lot of mutual friends & I still see his family quite often, I hear about the things he gets up to & basically he just wanted to go back to being a single crazy male. Apparently he's out at clubs all weekend, totally blind drunk & on a cocktail of drugs.

I HATE it when people (parents) worry about what others think!! and try to impose THEIR standards and beliefs on their adult children. If they thought about it, they are the hypocrites! They justify their son's current behaviour??

I know someone else who 'got married cos of her parents religion' and are now separating and got a lovely little daughter (together) after her sleeping around (yeah its not always the guys fault!)

Kudos to you women doing it on your own and for having the guts to tough it out. Your kids will be the better for it.:thumbsup:

[Singlemama]

I left my bf when i was 3 and a half months pregnant. Well i had to run away, I was in a very abusive relationship ..both Physical and Mental abuse. So i got on a bus and went and stayed with my grandparents ( he didnt know where they lived he just knew they were in toowoomba also didnt know there last name) He did come looking for me tho. I stayed there for 2 months until my mum could come down from Cairns and get me and bring me back to Cairns. Then on Valentines Day this year after 6 months of not hearing a word from him nothing at all he rings and says he loves me and he wants me to move back to cairns and be with me. I was soo stupid to fall for his sh!t again but i did and we got back together didnt last long before he started abusing me again. So i left once again, My daughter was born not long after and things were good again with us just being friends. But im living in fear everyday that hes i going to come and kill me and that he will harm one of us. I dont have to do anything he just snaps and says he is going to kill me. I hate him and wish he would move away and leave us be for good but he says hes not going anywhere :no: Anyway thats an outline of how i became a single mum the story is much more complicated but yea.