View Full Version : No cry sleep reccomendations
Hi, I want to reccomend a 3 step sleep routine thats helped my 15month old sleep better. It is 1. Bath, 2. Massage, 3. Quiet play in the dark. This all happens one after the other in the space of an hour. She doesnt really settle that well for a massage but it doesnt seem to matter. I just do as much as i can. And then we turn the lights off together and sing songs in the dark untill she is ready to go to sleep. Then,when she's ready, she goes to sleep the normal way, which for her is having a breastfeed. This really seems to have helped her a lot, we have had a couple of nights where she has slept through and on the other nights she sleeps for much longer between waking (from 10ish wakes down to 2!). Started to see improvements in a week or two.Also you could try feeding them more often in the day and dressing them warmly at night.We finally gave up on the cot as well, and moved the cot matress and my matress beside each other on the floor. One more thing that I remember reading that gave me hope is that around 15 to 18months they sort 'get' sleeping a bit more so they improve.Hope this helps someone.
pookiesossige
09-06-2007, 21:07
Ohh... what a lucky bubba you have! Sounds like bedtime is just the most lovely time of the day for your DD. Well done on finding something that works for you and her :yelclap: :yelclap: We do similar stuff and our 3 year old DS gets so excited about 'getting to go to bed' because it means so many nice squishy cuddles, a story, and milk, with both DH and I... just a nice way to end the day :) I can't even get him to wait until after 6.30pm for bed these days! DD is the same already :yes: I do the play-in-the-dark thing (briefly though) with her as part of her routine. But far out, it's soooo much work at the start....
Great advice!
For the past 2 months my DD would only have her day and night sleeps on me or DH. She would never sleep in her cot.
On recommendation from someone we started wrapping her again (makes her feel secure) and giving her some fun play time in her cot.
We started wrapping her a week ago and now she is sleeping beautifully in her cot for her naps and her night sleeping. We have our life back and she can enjoy her days more without being cranky or irritable.
Thank you so much for starting such a lovely thread.
12 month DS and I went to the paedetrician a few weeks ago, and he recommended a CC variation, and last night I finally cracked and decided to try it. After 10 minutes I don't know who was more hysterical. I've decided it doesn't matter if he would settle after 15 or 20 minutes of crying, I CAN'T TO IT!!! :gloomy: So it's irrelevant.
I will try to quiet play in the dark, I had tried the same routine before but without much success, I think the cot play is the trick.
Lovely to hear of some other people BF past the 12 month mark. Talk about feeling like I'm a freak and there's something wrong with me! Good to not feel like the only one.
Wish me luck!!!:fingerscrossed:
kellieanne08
12-06-2007, 08:57
Wow it's reasurring to know that I am not the only one going through this at the moment. My 13 month old has starting waking several times at night and won't go back down until I get him a nice warm bottle of milk ( even if it's after 3 or 4 hours he doesn't give up!! ). We moved house about 6 weeks ago now and the trouble has started ever since. We were in a warmer environment a 2 bedroom unit to a big cold house which is below 10 degrees at night. I don't think Liam can get used to the cold. This is what I dress him in at night, a singlet, two pj tops and long pj pants with feet in them, 2.5 tog winter sleeping bag and three blankets... What do you all think??? Am I over dressing him or under dressing him???
I can't handle the controlled crying technique very well but I am thinking it's my only chance to get him back to sleeping again... For those of you who has tried this and stuck it out does it work???
Natsmummy
12-06-2007, 16:00
We have our own little routine. After dinner and bath I let DS play for a while but keep mentioning to him that it is sleep time soon. Then when its time he has a bottle, we read his bedtime book (its called I Love You Good Night and we read it every night before bed). Then we have a cuddle and I whisper in his ear that saying from a book we have "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, forever and ever my baby you'll be". He always smiles when I say this. I then just cuddle him and pat his bottom until he falls asleep and then I put him in his cot. It doesn't usually take more than 10 minutes and he sleeps through. I get critisism from certain people for the fact that I'm not teaching him to fall asleep on his own but it works for us. For his day sleeps I do the same thing, we just don't read the book.
Hi there,
Kellieanne I think it's the room temp rather than their body temp that makes the difference - I was dressing Ella really warmly but not heating the room, but since I've been heating her room & pulling the door almost shut, she's gone back to waking once or twice a night (rather than 3 upwards!) and is much easier to resettle. I think she didn't like cold hands & face?
Danik so with you on the wrapping. Ella will let you put her down for day sleeps if wrapped but twitches awake with the slightest movement if not. So I'm ignoring all the advice to stop wrapping at 4 months (that was 4 months ago now...) just didn't work for us!
kellieanne08
12-06-2007, 16:54
Thankyou very much laddies:)
Hello :)Thankyou for all the suggestions! Keep them coming!I think cc does work for some babies, but not all of them! And not all mothers think it is in their best interests. I took Riya to 2 doctors when she was 12months because i didnt think i could go on much longer waking up all night. Both of them said cc was the only option and that she would never be able to sleep unless i did it (****!) The child health nurse told me I wasnt a good mother if i didnt do cc! I wish that they would help you with other options if you dont want to do cc. It was such a relief to find a gentle method that helped my daughter sleep better. It makes such a difference to have a good nights sleep! Anyhoo :)) Good luck SammieJ. I think the play in the dark was the main thing because i had tried other routines in the past that didnt work. I've tried everything!! hahaha. Except cc, I didnt follow it through - it just made it worse. I know what you mean about breastfeeding:). I feel like the only one, but its whats right for my daughter so I guess i will keep going for now. I keep getting suprised talking to other mums who are still bf past 12mths but in secret! :)) Crazy hey! but i do feel a bit wierd bfing in public now.
Hi, my 2 year old didn't sleep through the night until she was really walking well and wearing herself out. At about 14 months I put her onto cows milk instead of breastfeeding because I was so pregnant with No 5 by then and 2 uncomfortable 2 feed and from that day she slept through the night from about 4-5 feeds when breastfed. On saying that however, as No 5 is my last I will continue to feed him and not give him cows milk. Australian Parents magazine has an article in it this issue about the 123 routine, 1 - bath, 2 - massage, 3 - quiet play and I'm about to try this myself. Was a good article recommending babies as young as 2 weeks need to get used to a routine. I agree with you about wrapping also. We've been told not to wrap but I'd have no hope of getting my 10 month old down without it, so we will continue also. I'm now wrapping him in a flannelette cot flat sheet as he kept escaping his other wraps. Here's hoping we all get some sleep soon:sleeping:
mum4four
16-06-2007, 19:42
I used to let mine cry about 10 mins to put themselves to sleep, but with no's 3 & 4 I didn't really want to do that, so I've been using a CD (always the same one). It works really well with 2.5yr old and 8 month old. I started it for 8mo when he was about 6 months. I use an oil fin heater to gently heat his room and wrap him most of the time.
The music helps with toddlers when they move to a big bed b/c it's a constant. We're now working on giving him his bottle earlier to break the connection with falling asleep. He loves his story on our lap, not w the big kids b/c he gets too distracted and wound up.
My 10 month old daughter has always been breastfed to sleep, much to the horror of the clinic nurses and some of my friends. We tried cc at 4 months and it just didn't work. I found she was generally more wingey during the day and clingy. Since then I have tried it on and off and it distresses us all. :) Then she started sleeping through at 6 months and now only ever wakes up through the night when she is teething in which case I just feed her again and she goes back off to sleep.
I can't help but think she will one day just grow out of this phase and learn to go to sleep on her own when she is older and can understand more.
I would love some advice off some like minded people, am I just kidding myself? afterll I don't want to be Bfeeding her to sleep when she is 7.:no:
HelloI suppose she would wake up anyway if she was teething and at least you're lucky to have breastfeeding available to quickly sooth her back to sleep. Plus I think that as she gets older she will be able to fall asleep by herself no worries (im thinking 1 & 1/2 to 2, not 7 :)) Ha ha! Anyway I have also wondered this at times and I have read that throughout the day you should use different methods of putting them to sleep (pram, car, rocking, etc) so at least they are not soley dependant on breastfeeding to sleep. I dont know if that works or not, I just read it. Also now that we have a solid routine going at bedtime i'm trying to feed her a bit before she would fall asleep.. Its worked a couple of times. not many :) Oh well who can blaim them, its warm and snuggly and its really only a short period in their lives we do it for. xx In the no cry sleep solution book there are a couple of ideas for this. Also I liked tizzie halls (?) new book. They are both at the library.
Natsmummy
19-06-2007, 21:10
My 10 month old daughter has always been breastfed to sleep, much to the horror of the clinic nurses and some of my friends. We tried cc at 4 months and it just didn't work. I found she was generally more wingey during the day and clingy. Since then I have tried it on and off and it distresses us all. :) Then she started sleeping through at 6 months and now only ever wakes up through the night when she is teething in which case I just feed her again and she goes back off to sleep.
I can't help but think she will one day just grow out of this phase and learn to go to sleep on her own when she is older and can understand more.
I would love some advice off some like minded people, am I just kidding myself? afterll I don't want to be Bfeeding her to sleep when she is 7.:no:
I'm sure she will wean herself when she is ready, don't stress!
Well sadly Riya has started waking up all through the night again. I hope its just teething but I dont know. It was nice to have a couple of months off I guess. I thought the cd was a good idea, can anyone reccommend a good one? I bought sounds for silence ages ago but it didnt work for us. My sister calls it monster noises! You are supposed to listen to it really loud too. She has never liked being wrapped so that ones out. I was thinking of trying an osteopath? Has anyone tried this? They are supposed to help with sleep issues. Im not so worried about the constant waking up now - I think she will grow out of it eventually. But I keep forgetting things and I cant think straight! ahhh!
Hi qld mum, Forgetting things, tell me about it it's shocking isn't it. I'm even starting to mix words together because I'm so tired. My almost 11 month old is shocking at the moment though he does have a cold. The one thing keeping me going at the moment is a story I read in Practical parenting of parents who had little Jayden at 29 weeks (mine was born at 31 weeks). Little Jayden battled for a long time when finally at nearly 4 months they decided his little body had had enough and took him off the respirator. Now I keep saying to myself I bet his parents would kill for sleepless nights, and I'm thankful I have my beautiful sleepless little boy.
dancingchipmunk
21-06-2007, 10:57
:wave:
Still hoping for a full night sleep here aswell but as for the b/f to sleep I did this with DS untill he was about 11 1/2 months old. I continued feeding him during the night when he would wake up untill a few weeks ago (he's now 13 months). Now he is fully weaned and has cows milk.
When DS goes to bed its a little drink from the bottle and then all he wants is cuddles (no more cot as he hated it so his matress is on the ground). This is what works for us at the moment, even during the night time wake-ups.
Personally I think if it works for you then go for it. Obviously your baby is responding to this well and it is really good bonding for the two of you in these early years.
Hello, Im going to buy the music for dreaming cd today, a lady I know reccommended it.
LittleMissyMoo
04-07-2007, 10:51
Hi all :wave: Even though my DD is a bit younger than all of yours, I would like to share the magical item that seems to help her sleep through the night at last....A slumber bear. Its a teddy that ties to the cot and when touched makes the whooshing sounds of the uterus for 5 minutes. Its also sound activated so when bubs cries it automatically turns on. AND, its reasonably priced and comes from pretty much all baby shops and in some catalogues. It really does calm my DD down and it saves me having to get up in the night to go into her room and hush her to sleep (I do not advocate controlled crying!).
When she went through that awful time of not sleeping til 5am, I took her to my GP. He told me to keep in mind that as babies/toddlers learn a new skill, their sleeping patterns will be disturbed because their minds are racing with information. And now when I think about it, DD's sleeping was disturbed when she learnt to roll, sit and babble. Its not the answer to the world's problems but it explains alot for me.
Hope I've helped!
jacksproudparents
04-07-2007, 14:32
Routine routine routine! Jack's routine is bath, bottle, play and then his three bed books, two songs (mine are different to DH but that doesn't change the outcome) in the night night chair. It's then a kiss goodnight see you in the morning and we leave the room.
He knows fromt he books forward it's bed time. If he is really tired he will squirm because he wants to go in his cot before the songs!
greengables
24-07-2007, 08:47
I'm REALLY hoping my 20mth old will sleep thru b4 this baby comes!! eek!! (at the moment she wakes 1 - 2 times per night!!!)
I've done cc and it worked, but when she got sick (cold etc) she would 'unlearn' the skill. I don't have the heart to do cc again just to have it 'unlearned' again.!!!
Any advice would be v welcome!
Hi. Isnt it amazing how they go in cycles of sleeping bad and good. (or bad and worse har har) It makes sense that is has to do with their learning new skills. A friend of mine told me about wonder weeks where they become fussy for certain weeks of their lives, I think it is to do with developmental milestones as well. Riya's been shocking all week but tonight she has settled herself twice allready. only 9:30 yet but a good sign.Anyway, I bought that cd, music 4 dreaming. Its really nice. I have been using it at most bedtimes and some naps because it really seems to calm her. I have had a genius moment. She never really enjoyed the massage but I finally figured out that she loves stroking (with fingertips on her back). Now she says 'more more'. Its great.The other day she was in one of those bonkers not sleeping but way past it moods and I gave her a massage with the cd on and in about 5mins she asked to go to bed. yay
ZooKeeper
04-08-2007, 22:21
I read this thread today and that's what inspired me to join. relief I'm not alone having trouble with no cry sleeping and no heat for CC.
nights are good right now -- for the last two weeks she's been sleeping at nights, only waking for two or three feeds, and sleeping in big blocks of between three to five hours around those feeds, with no urge to play late at night, just eat and sleep more.
we had a real struggle until we got the bedtime routine going, I do 'stockup' BF feeds with her from about 5pm off and on until about 8pm, with rests in between for us both where she sits in her bouncy chair with us (back to the TV to avoid over stimulating), or does some time in front of the fire being sung to, a story, that kind of quiet thing, and she won't nap much during that time, maybe 20 minutes at most here and there most nights, usually in mine or DH's arms. anyhow, about 8pm when she's really nice and tired, she gets one more feed, then down by the fire for a sponge bath, massage, leg excercises for gas, bit of bare butt time and we put her in an all-in-one, which is different to her day clothes, which are separates and socks. she has worked out the difference to the point she'll get upset if she thinks she's not getting PJs on but getting put on day clothes again. we put a hot water bottle in the cot beforehand too, with euky bear rub on a cotton swab because she's been a bit chesty -- a safe version of a steamer for our place and her age, when she goes in it moves to the top of the cot, out of her reach or bumping into it, also it has a thick cover on it to prevent accidental ouchy should she wriggle that far up. I've also been putting euky bear on the soles of her feet on advice from the old ladies, to help a chesty cold she's had. she's too young for it to go on her chest yet, but feet treats the whole bubba safely. anyhow, after she's all clean and massaged and nice and in PJs, which takes about half an hour because we talk a lot, and have a gentle play during it, then I do her last feed in her dim room, either on chair next to her bed or on our temporary bed beside the cot, and when she's done, into the cot she goes and I say "oh there's your lovely bed, you're in your lovely bed, and here's (name her various toys)" and say a quick prayer, and if she's restless sing a few until she drops off. if she's already dropped off when she goes in, the bit of talk seems to stop her waking with the transition yell, it registers with her that she's been moved to bed. she got fond of her cot once we added a few small toys rated for newborns, which go everywhere with her thru the day as well, including town, the car, the pram, even outside to the garden sometimes. I've watched her half wake, and reach out her arms, and drop off once she touches those familiar shapes and textures. she's not a baby will sleep with her hands swaddled BTW, she has needed to touch things from day dot.
bedtime routine is a real winner at our place, though it's more drawn out than the books recommend, it has worked better than trying to hurry her into sleep. now I get blocks of sleep at night, everything seems easier, and I can drive again now I am not so sleep deprived and confused, which also makes it easier as like most babies, she drops off in the car, and a half hour trip to town (and then another half hour coming back) can save an otherwise hairraising day from escalating to overtired madness lol.
BoyCrazy
10-08-2007, 09:11
Hey
i agree with the routine part...
my ds 21 months is still breastfed, tho only morning and before sleep...and has cows milk or water for other drinks...
he has been waking up the night about 2 times per night, and i would bf him back to sleep...
lately, if he wakes up instead of bf him, i now give him a little cuddle and tell him its nite time and go back to sleep...
(hoping he would have a little bit more of an understanding)
GUESS WHAT??
No more night waking!!!!!
YAY!
Im so cheerin...and feel so much more clear headed!
:smiliedance: :smiliedance:
welcome zookeeper. That sounds lovely. Its a good idea about the toys. Yayayay baylismum! happydance! :)
So the routine was going well, but then it stopped working. Mainly because she got a rash so I couldnt give her massage anymore, and I just got sick of the time it took and trying to get her dad to follow it. So we had a couple of months of really bad nights again and I got really sick of fighting against her to put her down to sleep while she was still awake. So then I sort of gave up and went back to what I did when she was little and fed her untill she dropped off herself instead of detatching her as soon as she closed her eyes :) haha which I usually do. Anyway, weirdly enough she's been sleeping through! We have her cd on and read books in bed now after her bath also which she loves and then we turn the light off and have a cuddle and sing a song. Then she feeds to sleep.Hows everyone else going? Getting any sleep :))Music for dreaming cd is great by the way, I'm wondering if I can take it on hols with us next week.
miss ani
31-08-2007, 14:12
we are still trying to really find the best routine in the evenings that suit us, but we sort of have a few things in place which are consistent.
DP baths her every second night (as she has quite dry skin) and gets her dressed in her wondersuit or l/sleeve bodysuit (depending on how warm it is). then she gets into her grobag - we found she just hated wrapping for her night-time sleeps and kept kicking off her covers in the middle of the night. the grobag is da bomb!! :thumbsup: DP then gives her a small amount of formula, i then finish the evening feed by BF'ing her in our darkened room.
we were rocking / walking her to sleep, however i have found lately that i can sometimes settle her into a half-sleep, then put her down in her cot where she puts herself to sleep. although she has just started teething, so that isn't always working. (last night we got next-to-no sleep!) she's almost 4 months old, so i'm sure she'll sort it out soon.
as for night waking, when she's not fussing and teething, lily wakes once for a BF and then goes back down fairly easily.
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