Including Children in Ceremony

[mumchristy23]

Hi

Just wondering if anyone included their kids in the ceremony and how?

My DF and I have 3 children, when we get married they will be 5, 3 and 16 months. Does anyone have any ideas of how we can include them in the ceremony or know of any nice readings including children??

TIA :)

[sethsmum79]

My son, who was 3 at the time held my hand as I walked down the isle.

We wrote our own vows and DH put in a lovely part about my son (who was from my first marriage) in his.

[*Chels*]

Well DS was 18 months when we got married.The plan was for him to walk up the aisle then sit with my mum until it was time to do the rings.Didnt go to plan coz he didnt sleep all day before ceremony and was a grumpy bum:rolleyes:
Last minute we decided to roll with it and my brother who was walking me up aisle,carried Riley and it looked so cute!!
Then he carried Riley up to give us the rings(on ring pillow)
The celebrant also included Riley in part of the ceremony(cant remember what she said tho LOL)
I take it your kids are going to be flowergirls/pageboys?
My only advice is-you CANNOT plan for the day what they will do.I hoped like hell Riley would behave but unfortunaty he was sooo overtired but refused to sleep!!Dont expect too much from kids:)
Sorry Ive rambled:ecomcity:

[Lachlan's Mum]

My DS was also from my previous marriage. He was 2.5 at the time. He walked me down the aisle and "gave me away". We also had a part in the ceremony which was our "pledge" to DS to love and include him in our marriage etc. (DS's biological dad passed away before he was even 1.) I was actually pregnant at the time with DD (only just!) and we mentioned her too (not that we knew the sex at the time - but the celebrant just mentioned a new "spirit" amongst us... it was a nice way to let our close family and friends know we were pregnant too! we only had a small wedding).

Anyway, with littlies, my advice would be to try and have an early wedding. We got married on a Sunday at 10 am followed by lunch, at that was specifically to cater for DS - as I knew he wouldn't sleep before the wedding with all the excitement etc, and according to the grandparents he was zonked afterwards before they got the car out of the reception place! We had other kids there and they had a ball and ran around - it was an outside wedding under a marquee and heaps of grass area adjoining for all the kids.

Sorry this is sooo long, but as we only got married Sept last year, I've just experienced all this first hand!

Oh, and I agree with Chels on the whole planning thing.... we had (luckily) a relaxed ceremony and if DS wanted to be standing with us, he did, if he wandered off to the grandparents, he did, etc. Same with our flowergirl who was 4. We didn't care what they did during the formalities, at least they weren't screaming from being "held" somewhere, or being made stand still etc.

[mumchristy23]

Thanks for the replies and advice...

The plan is for our two DD to be flowergirls and DS pageboy.... Im really not fussed what the kids do as being young ages I dont expect them to stand for much of the ceremony (if any lol).

I just want them to be apart of it as much as they can. Once the ceremony begins I will probably get someone in the front row sit the kids with them and possibly give them a few lollies. *Chels* I like the idea of your brother bringing Riley up with the rings... I might do something similar:thumbsup:

With photo's etc.. again im not too fussed what the kids want to do.. if they sit there great, if not then thats fine too. Obviously it would be great to have some lovely family photo's but im sure everyone will get lots of pics of the kids enjoying themselves anyway.

Lachlan's Mum - I think that was really nice and special how the celebrant mentioned a new "spirit".. what did everyone say once the ceremony was over?

[Missy75]

My daughter was 6. She was flower girl and read a very short poem about family. After the ring exchange we gave her a necklace.
We also wrote the ceremony to talk a lot about us the family as well as us the couple.

[tally]

My two boys walked me down the isle and gave me away when I got remarried.. it really added an extra special touch to the ceremony and made them feel really included.. It was beautiful :yelclap:

[~mia&ryan~]

DD is being included in our wedding in September.. On the day we are giving her the option of what she wants to do... She can walk down the aisle with me, stand with her Daddy or stay with her grandparents... We are playing it by ear....

[Lachlan's Mum]

Lachlan's Mum - I think that was really nice and special how the celebrant mentioned a new "spirit".. what did everyone say once the ceremony was over?

We thought it was nice too! It was actually our celebrant's idea. Our immediate family and a few others already knew, but those who didn't were really excited and congratulating us at the same time for the marriage and bubby after the ceremony! it was quite emotional!

[*Chels*]

Oh, and I agree with Chels on the whole planning thing.... we had (luckily) a relaxed ceremony and if DS wanted to be standing with us, he did, if he wandered off to the grandparents, he did, etc. Same with our flowergirl who was 4. We didn't care what they did during the formalities, at least they weren't screaming from being "held" somewhere, or being made stand still etc.

Thats what we did too.Riley was hanging off my dress during the ring exchange LOL but as long as he didnt cry,I was happy.
Also the photographer said "if we get some pics of him,thats great but if not its no big deal,we wont force him".She was lovely and luckily we got a few good pics with him.

[Minke]

DD was three and a half, and was our flowergirl, so she walked down the aisle with me. After we exchanged rings, DH gave DD her very own ring. So cute :D

[Kizmet]

DD was 6 months old and was flower girl she was walked down the isle by my mum. It was really beautiful! She totally stole the show but we were more than happy for her too:thumbsup: We had a passage in our vows to DD even though she didn't understand and was playing with my mums beads it was really beautiful and was so important for us to include her in such a monumental moment in our lives :thumbsup:

This is the passage in our vows:

Before they make their marriage vows Kate and John would like to dedicate a few words to their daughter Abigail in recognition of the special gifts she has already brought to their lives.

Abigail, Mummy and Daddy promise to be their when you need them and to offer advice when you ask for it. Should you ever need to talk they will be there to listen. Should you ever need a shoulder to lean on they will be there to support you.

Where it is possible they will help you attain your dreams and aspirations in life. They will encourage you to grow into who you choose to become and they want you to know they love you very much.

[BlessedWithBlue]

I was pregnant with the twins when we got married, we originally were going to have both of the boys walking down the aisle with the flower girl. We had a beach wedding and all they wanted to do was play so they stood with daddy and the groomsmen while i was walking down the beach path and once we got into the ceremony they both toddled off to grandma who kept them occupied for the ceremony.

[Areca]

We had a very casual wedding. DH and I walked down together, with DD. She played with a balloon in front of us when we were saying our vows. We didn't have a bridal party, but DD featured in a lot of our photo's (our photographer actually said he has never made a wedding album where the child featured in it so much.....for us, it's more of a family album, rather than a wedding album), she featured on our cake (we had us on top, me pregnant, cause I was/am, and DD was on the second layer looking up at us) and then we held her while we danced our bridal waltz (she was really tired by that stage and just wanted us. My mum offered to take her but I said no way).

With your older kids, why don't you get them to hold on to your wedding rings or something? Give them an important job and I'm sure they'll feel involved!

[Kittylou]

That's beautiful, Kizmet!!! I wish we could have done something like that but being an Anglican service, we weren't able to change the words for our vows.

DS was our page boy and walked down the aisle with one of my bridesmaids. He then sat with my Mum during the ceremony and the priest called him up when it was time for the blessing & exchange of rings. We also included a prayer for him in the prayers of the people.

We had all of our bridal party photos done before the ceremony at two locations. We got my Dad to bring DS to meet us about 15 minutes before we finished so we could get some with DS in them without him getting tired and cranky.

[mumchristy23]

DD was three and a half, and was our flowergirl, so she walked down the aisle with me. After we exchanged rings, DH gave DD her very own ring. So cute :D

Awww, that would have been beautiful!


DD was 6 months old and was flower girl she was walked down the isle by my mum. It was really beautiful! She totally stole the show but we were more than happy for her too:thumbsup: We had a passage in our vows to DD even though she didn't understand and was playing with my mums beads it was really beautiful and was so important for us to include her in such a monumental moment in our lives :thumbsup:

This is the passage in our vows:

Before they make their marriage vows Kate and John would like to dedicate a few words to their daughter Abigail in recognition of the special gifts she has already brought to their lives.

Abigail, Mummy and Daddy promise to be their when you need them and to offer advice when you ask for it. Should you ever need to talk they will be there to listen. Should you ever need a shoulder to lean on they will be there to support you.

Where it is possible they will help you attain your dreams and aspirations in life. They will encourage you to grow into who you choose to become and they want you to know they love you very much.

Agree with you 100% Kizmet, I think it is important to include the kids in such a special moment too.
I LOVE the passage that was read, exactly what I was after.... thank you :)

[mumchristy23]

We had a very casual wedding. DH and I walked down together, with DD. She played with a balloon in front of us when we were saying our vows. We didn't have a bridal party, but DD featured in a lot of our photo's (our photographer actually said he has never made a wedding album where the child featured in it so much.....for us, it's more of a family album, rather than a wedding album), she featured on our cake (we had us on top, me pregnant, cause I was/am, and DD was on the second layer looking up at us) and then we held her while we danced our bridal waltz (she was really tired by that stage and just wanted us. My mum offered to take her but I said no way).

With your older kids, why don't you get them to hold on to your wedding rings or something? Give them an important job and I'm sure they'll feel involved!

Your wedding album sounds like it is very nice and that extra bit special having your DD in so many of the pics.
Your cake sounds really awesome!
With the kids getting involved.... my 2 DD are going to be flowergirls and DS is going to be pageboy... i just was thinking of a nice verse or something else that can make it special for them too IYKWIM... Im was going to get my Dad to walk me down the aisle and possibly have him hold DS (depends on his mood on the day as to whether he wants to walk or not lol) but now im not sure, might just get the girls to walk a little in front and DS walk with me.... not sure yet...

[Areca]

Thanks! We were happy with a casual wedding though, it's what we wanted. I think you could still have a more traditional wedding and still have your kids involved.
A good friend of mine gave her DD an engraved jewellery box that she can keep forever. Maybe you could do a similar thing for your kids (you can get cute little kid size goblets if you wanted them to all have the same)

Here is a pic from our wedding album...you can't see me. DD is blocking me (yes my wedding dress was bright pink and green!)
http://s183.photobucket.com/albums/x305/Alex-Carmen/?action=view&current=F1030012.jpg

[LotusMum]

Yep my DD 1.5yrs (at that time) was in my wedding as was my nephew. DD walked me down the aisle and nephew was my ring barer (or in his language, ring pillower).
I also bought DD a little angel broach and there was a poem read out for her when I pinned her broach on. It just sorta brought it all in together about how we are all a family and the wedding isnt just about two people getting married, but about two families becoming one and specifically about formalising our little family group.
It really was lovely and totally made the wedding for us. Our wedding was outside so after the kids had their bits done, they just sorta played around the edges and came in and out as they pleased. It was truely special.

[mumchristy23]

Thanks! We were happy with a casual wedding though, it's what we wanted. I think you could still have a more traditional wedding and still have your kids involved.
A good friend of mine gave her DD an engraved jewellery box that she can keep forever. Maybe you could do a similar thing for your kids (you can get cute little kid size goblets if you wanted them to all have the same)

Here is a pic from our wedding album...you can't see me. DD is blocking me (yes my wedding dress was bright pink and green!)
http://s183.photobucket.com/albums/x305/Alex-Carmen/?action=view&current=F1030012.jpg

The engraved jewellery boxes your friend did sounds like a very nice idea and very special! Yeah, I think I might look into something similar.... thanks

That is such a beautiful picture and your DD is gorgeous!!! Hope you dont mind but I had a quick look at some other pics in your album, they are great photo's and your dress, I love it!


Yep my DD 1.5yrs (at that time) was in my wedding as was my nephew. DD walked me down the aisle and nephew was my ring barer (or in his language, ring pillower).
I also bought DD a little angel broach and there was a poem read out for her when I pinned her broach on. It just sorta brought it all in together about how we are all a family and the wedding isnt just about two people getting married, but about two families becoming one and specifically about formalising our little family group.
It really was lovely and totally made the wedding for us. Our wedding was outside so after the kids had their bits done, they just sorta played around the edges and came in and out as they pleased. It was truely special.

The poem sounds lovely, did you do a search and find it, write it yourself or did the celebrant show you?? I am after something similar for my wedding but everytime I do a search on a poem/verse to include children I only find ones that include step children.

[Areca]

Thanks! I'm trying to organise an online album for the relo's that live far away....it's proving to be difficult with a toddler running around all day!

[LotusMum]

Our poem for DD
Elora, may beauty delight you and happiness uplift you.
May wonder fulfil you and love surround you.
May your step be steady and your arm be strong
May your heart be peaceful and your word be true.
May you seek to learn, may you learn to live
May you live to love and may you love....Always.

and then we presented her with the guardian angel. I guess it was more than just a poem, it was a wish or a want for her life. I just loved it as it said everythig I wanted for her.

Im sure if you did a search you will find one, they are definatly there, you just need to look hard enough I guess. I think I remember there being heaps if you type in poems and then what you want it to be about.

Good luck. Involving children in your wedding makes it just that extra bit special. I truely feel that childfree weddings are missing something, sorta like its been forgotten that weddings are about joining and making families and a huge part in that are children whether they come before the wedding or as a product of the honeymoon and beyond. I guess Im really sentimental.

[LovingMumOf3]

At the moment we are planning our September "Surprise" wedding.Our DD will be almost 4 and DS will be 2 when we get married.We wont be doing the walk down the isle thing or be having a bridal party as no one is going to be told until the celebrant makes the announcement but our DD is going to be flowergirl and DS will be Best Boy (instead of a best man).We will be giving DD a bracelet and DS a Best Boy badge.We will also be including them in our vows with a section devoted to them.We are having a Rose Ceremony during which DF and I will exchange roses and also give one each to our children.Don't know how many petals they'll have left by the end of the ceremony but we'll give it a go.