Embarrassing/confronting topic

[EcstaticEm]

I cant belive im posting this.. O.K.. Um, Was wondering if anyone has got "back into the saddle" so to speak..

Im going to put my hand up and say Dh and I haev not had any lovin since we found out we were preg.. I miss him.. But am scared of "dislodging" Mace.. I promised we could after 12 weeks (miscarrige risk lower) then we got the worrying scan so we held off.. Then I promised when we hit 16 weeks.. which is tomorrow.. I dont know if I can do it :o I dont want to keep puttin git off, but am worried it will be different, or it will hurt (me or mace).. I have no experience with this.. I know the books say its safe, but are there ways to make it safer?? am I nuts for worrying?? am I alone in my Drought??

[storysam]

i hear ya! i'm 38 weeks and went through the same situation but i was REALLY mean and we still haven't done it!!! DF complains but i think he understands. i just really don't feel attractive either so plays a major part.
i feel stupid saying this but i feel strange having sex when she's right there.
don't worry hun, you're not alone, i'm feelin'you!

[Milliner]

You are not alone. I don't want it and to tell you the truth I get enough in my dreams! :laughing:

I think that we had sex twice when I was preg with DS and both times it was past about 7-8 months.

I wouldn't worry about worrying I think it's normal.

:hugs:

[goose]

We been doing the deed normal throughout the pregnancy.. We did with jacob and all was ok..

But ive never had a m/c so i guess i dont have the fear there that im sure i would if i had..

You cant hurt them or dislodge them. ;)

If your to rough you may get a tiny bit of spotting but if thats the case then just take it easy and slowly..

But is a personal choice and i know of people who didnt "do it" there entire pregnancy due to being either worried to do damage or poke the baby..

Get back in the saddle hun.. You never no what fun you could be having.. ;) :p

[Kittylou]

We didn't for the first 12 weeks or so - not out of fear, just because I was feeling sick, tired or had major wind pain most of the time and just didn't want to be touched.

We've started to get back into it now but nowhere near as often as DH would like because by the time we go to bed I'm so tired all I want to do is go to sleep.

Like Goose though, I've never had a m/c so I don't have the fear that you have about it. If you can get past your fear though, I would go for it because you might not be feeling like it very much after you have the baby either...

[EcstaticEm]

Oh Thanks Guys.. So nice to know Im not alone. :hugs: :hugs:

Goose - Is it different? Do you think about "the baby"? I know I "want" to do it!!!! Does the belly get in the way?? So many questions!!

Kittylou - I think thats DH's worry too, what if we never do it again??!! After TTC and BD'ing every second day, it feels like years since we've "been there" I am scared of loosing Mace, but also scared of loosing myself in doing everythign for"the baby" and never really being close on that level again..

[Tam-I-Am]

Its actually good for you to have sex during pregnancy - its a good cardiovascular workout, its good for your pelvic floor muscles, good for your stomach muscles, good for you overall health and wellbeing. (Sex released endorphins, which are feel good hormones, like what's in chocolate - less fattening too! :D)

Its normal to experience some braxton hicks contractions after sex (or orgasm), and some spotting because your cervix is so much more sensitive during pregnancy, there's more blood flow to it, so don't be too concerned if that happens, but if you're concerned, get it checked out

Just take it slow - if it doesn't feel right, don't do it. Plenty of people have normal, healthy sexual relationships without penetration during pregnancy - maybe this is another option for you....

One other thing that might help set your mind at ease is to talk to your GP or obstetrician - they certainly wouldn't recommend doing something if it was going to endanger your baby - and I'm sure almost every pregnant woman has asked similar questions :)

Good luck :hugs:

[kaybee]

Hey Em, thanks for posting this! We haven't done it since we found out I was pregnant! DH is worried we'll never do it again, but like you I'm scared of hurting the baby and also feel a bit yukky about doing it when the baby is right there!

I want to do it too and feel bad depriving DH! I have my first midwife's appointment next week, so I might ask about it then and hopefully she can calm some of my fears!

[Kittylou]

Em, I have to admit that I'm a little bit conscious of the baby but it doesn't stop me enjoying it.

The belly isn't really getting in the way at this stage but I guess it will become more of an issue further down the track. One thing I've noticed is that my belly is as hard as a rock afterwards.

[Little_Toad]

Not from :"due in November" but I seriously don't think you should have anything to worry about .. save that for AFTER the baby is born.

Have fun while there is still only two of you and not having to worry about the baby waking up.

I knew for certain that the toadlet was ok after "special cuddles" as he got the hiccups every time after we finished. quite disturbing really.

[luckymama]

yeah Em, i dont even want it right now, i have no urge for it whatsoever, and it hurts to when we do it. :yes:
I just dont worry about it, until DH starts getting desperate lol, but its really not fun for me atm, hope i want it soon.

[greengables]

hey I found it more enjoyable during pregnancy.more intense...i just got into it. didn't really notice my belly in the way...sorry if tmi

[Harmony83]

We haven't been 'doing it' a whole lot but we still do!
My stomach gets hard as a rock after as well! With my first he would always start kicking after it!

[sasa]

I honestly dont think you have a thing to worry about either, I think we even had sex a bit more than usual when we first found out we were pregnant again because we were so happy and enjoyed having that closeness.
When preg with DD we continued as per normal too (or again, more at some stages) I never had any spotting but occasional cramps afterwards if we were not so 'gentle' (sorry tmi). Even with a big belly my DP loved my pregnant body (after all their baby inside) and I was happy with myself too! Love your pregnant body I say!!
Go for it, as said above - save that for after the baby is born! Good luck!

[EcstaticEm]

Thanks so much everyone :hugs:
If we do "do it" its good to know what to expect (like a rock hard belly! and maybee, if Im lucky, some cramping)

Kaybee - My app's tonight, so hopefully the "professionals" will haev some good answers for us.

[Nan]

We do it with condoms for the first 8 weeks on advice from my hormone doc, who said that the prostoglandins in the sperm can sometimes effect implantation. I think its very rare. But I'm like heaps of others on here......haven't done it for nearly 4 months! :thumbsdown: Not sure why.....I think its just because our libidos aren't matching up atm.

[Vespera]

We havent really stopped, probably a little less now as I am usually asleep way before he is.

I dont really think about the baby but my DH does find me being pregnant hot (not other pregnant women just me - must have something to do with his baby) which is always a nice thing.

I always get cramps but no spotting so I just relax until they go away, usually about 5 minutes.

[no1bub]

my DH does find me being pregnant hot (not other pregnant women just me - must have something to do with his baby) which is always a nice thing.

Me too :D

We still have sex but not as often, and im sure DP would tell you we dont do it enough :laughing: .

Do it 'spoon' or doggy style, belly doesnt get in the way then :thumbsup:

[luckymama]

I dont really think about the baby but my DH does find me being pregnant hot (not other pregnant women just me - must have something to do with his baby) which is always a nice thing.


Mine does too, which is making it hard for him, cos i dont want it and he ALWAYS does :rolleyes:

[Moops]

It's funny you should post this Em cos DP and I had some lovin last night for the first time since I found out I was pg. At first I was just too sick, then I was feeling unattractive, then DP started to worry about 'dislodging' the baby. But we went for it last night and DP was careful and it was really nice, I didnt feel any different to how I would have felt if i wasnt pg to be honest. I dont think we are far along enough to be worrying about big tummies etc....go for it!

[goose]

Goose - Is it different? Do you think about "the baby"? I know I "want" to do it!!!! Does the belly get in the way?? So many questions!!


At first i thought about the baby and it was slightly weird (back when i was preg with jacob not this time around) But then you only really think about the baby in a "how are we gonna do this without my tummy getting in the way.." kinda way KWIM..

At some stages during preg you may need to have some lube around as you can get a bit dry.. :o

And as with positions as your tummy gets bigger you adjust positions to suit.. But you will figure out what works best for you and what is comfy..

:hugs:
Have fun when you do get some action em.. :thumbsup: :smiliedance:

[Lozie]

We always have lots of Bding:o we like it doesnt bother me about they baby and never has really cause with Jacy i was sex crazy the whole pregnancy, Caleb was a bit meh, but this one it's even better than the other pregnancys i know how much my body can take without my belly going hard or cramping and so does Dh we have heaps of practice in a short period of time:D, sex is good for the baby, i mean it feels what u feel and if ur enjoying it then they will be happy too and to be honest i dotn even think baby knows whats going on, I think ur safe Em, u cant dislodge anything it's all pretty stable in there:yes:

[mummy2sophie]

Ah sweetie - I can understand how you feel. :hugs:

have had sex quite a few times, but mostly this trimester - I was just too sick to during the first trimester.

I was only conscious of baby in sense of "how do we get around this thing" and didn't think about it otherwise. It did hurt but only because I prefer certain positions you probably shouldn't do pregnant. But I've never had spotting, just a bit of cramping.

I think it's really really good to get back into it. After all I feel self conscious about my body and cumbersome and unattractive sometimes. But doing the deed makes me feel a lot less unattractive as DH loves making love to me pregnant. Remember you can still get your rocks off without any penetration.
If you've never done this before you could have a lot of fun exploring each other that way. ;)

Don't forget to explain how you feel to your DP....I'm sure he completely understands, but communicating is always really important.
Good luck.

[EcstaticEm]

:hugs: :hugs: all of you. So much more reliable that my OB (who cancelled our app for an emergency C section)

Goose - you crack me up - I will try to have fun!

Mum2Sophie, thanks so much.. I have had a chat to chris, and he understands way better now. We had some steamy cuddling, so getting closer to being comfy taking that next step.. (so weird.. It sort of feels like Im a virgin again! all this anticipation, and wonder!)

:fingerscrossed: That no more emergency's get in teh way of an Ap with OB.. I want him to check the cervix, then! I think I'll be ready :smiliedance:

[luckymama]

well not as fun as i expected lol, i thought i was in the mood, but it just hurts my bits :o its weird, is it ment to hurt? I feel bruised today now :o

[goose]

well not as fun as i expected lol, i thought i was in the mood, but it just hurts my bits :o its weird, is it ment to hurt? I feel bruised today now :o

It may hurt for some people or from certain postions.. Things can be a bit tender... Blood flow to the area may increase so you feel as if you have swelled up for a short period of time after sex, just cos there is more blood flowing through your body and around that area..

Your muscles and ligments and everything is also streching/relaxing which may be part of the reason why you may be a bit tender..

Also you can tend to be a bit dryer than usual so some lube can be helpful if it hurts a bit..

Just take it slowly and at your own pace..

:hugs: :hugs:

[luckymama]

thanks goose :thumbsup:

[Kizmet]

hey hun just found this thread! I dont think we did the deed for the morning sickness bleh period as I was certain any kind of pressure or movement would make me be sick and now wouldnt that be romantic! :laughing: but we basically do the deed once a week or every two weeks when DH whinges enough :laughing:

Are you guys intimate in other ways than just sex? Not wanting to get into the nitty gritty or anything :laughing: I just mean like kissing and cuddling and things like that. Maybe you guys need to take it one step at a time and just spend lots of time getting to re-know each other intimately and let nature take its course! Dont put too much pressure on yourself or stress about it because the anticipation is often far worse than the act:thumbsup:

[mama hen]

Em I was the same as you with the first preg.

This time around once ms was gone, we were back in the saddle and not really thinking about bub as much as last time (during the deed).
You can't poke bub - although I wouldn't be swinging from the rafters iykwim ;)

[EcstaticEm]

:smiliedance: :smiliedance: :smiliedance: !!!!!! WOO-HOO!!!!!!!!!

(and blessed with no cramping/spotting after!!!)

So so so SO glad I talked about it!!! (Im sure hubby would say thanks too.)

And Goose - thank you VERY much for the "use Lube" advise. Very very important :o

[Kizmet]

:smiliedance: :smiliedance: Congrats Em :smiliedance: :smiliedance: