View Full Version : Why did you choose to homebirth?
Why did you choose to homebirth?
Before I had DS, by unessesary, unwanted, unexpected, in-labour, non-emergency caesarean *exhale* I assumed child birth was a medical event. :(
No one I knew had had a home birth and it certainly never crossed my mind that it would be a better safer alternative to hospital birth (I mean hospitals have doctors in them to keep us safe right :rolleyes: )
I had no idea about the importance of privacy and security in labour (at the ante-natal class I paid to attend *banghead* all we talked about was "bring some cd's to listen to" and "what drugs and interventions you can have" )
I had no idea how much of an impact hospital environment had on my birth and on making my labour a much more painful affair than it had to be.
So how'd it cross your mind to have a homebirth?? Did your Mum birth at home? What put the idea in your head? and did you ever have much self-doubt?
TIA for all your replies :thumbsup:
Hey Nats :D
Ok well I haven't had a homebirth (yet!) - but I WILL :D
And, the reason why I've decided to have a homebirth is so I can come away from THE most momementous event in my life feeling empowered, accomplished, and happy.
So that I can spend the first moments of my babies life.....weeks even..... snuggled up in OUR bed in OUR room.... with total comfort and privacy.
So I can make those first moments of his or her life last as long as I want.
So I can experience birth how it SHOULD be, so I can come away from it feeling how I should, instead of feeling disappointed, angry, butchered, mutilated, raped, cheated, and drugged.
Can't wait :smiliedance:
Ditto to everything that Phin said above. I wanted a homebirth for Olivia's birth, but thought that it would be better to 'see how I went' with a hospital birth first. I wish I had of known better. Oh well, next one I will do everything within my power to birth my baby at home :yes:
Like Phineas, I'm yet to have a homebirth (yet to fall pregnant more than once actually...lol).
HOWEVER, I've made the recent decision that it's right for us.
I too had a highly unwanted caesarean... it wasn't necessary and it wasn't life-saving... it was just stupid and unfair and horrible (mine wasn't in the middle of labour though... it was because I wouldn't go into it and doctors put time constraints on me...saying DD would die otherwise, with only dates to back that up...:rolleyes: ).
ANYWAY, I figure my best chance of VBAC is go homebirth. I won't have to argue with anyone to have it... I'll have one woman who's on MY SIDE. If there's a true reason to have a caesarean, she'll be able to let me know... but otherwise, I'm not going to have some overtired idiot who's paying half-attention to me telling me it's my best option (when really, it's probably HIS best option...).
I also figure it's going to be hard for someone to cut me open when there's nobody there to actually do it...lol.
The reason I've considered it is, after many hints dropped by pro-homebirthers, I finally actually gave it some thought. IDEALLY, I wouldn't be giving home in my loungeroom, but when I weigh it up... labouring in the lounge VS being cut up again... it's pretty obvious which wins out.
Well done guys :yelclap:
And how cool would it be to be walking through your house and you get to 'the spot' and go ..." i gave birth to my darling little baby in here" :yes:
Now, anyone else??
Why a homebirth? In this country hospital birth is a foregone conclusion :( I think its (???) some scandanavian country everyone gives birth at home! I bet the rate of birth trauma in those countries is pretty low.
what Phineas said, she took the words outta my mouth :D
I choose homebirth because it is the safest place for me and my baby to be. It feels right and comfortable, it is the only place where i can totally let go and have an unhindered pregnancy, labour, birth and post partum. I am not sick or in need of help or aurthority last i checked i have the womb and vagina that makes me the expert of me and my babe :yes:
For me that special spot was the shower and every time i shower i always think of me standing there under the warm water, hand supporting my own perinium feeling her head waiting to be born then guiding it out with my own hands. To have Dh help catch as she came out quickly. To go from a family of three to four in the most natural way possible, Dd1 woke up to meet her new sister and we all went downstairs to bond. No interuptions, no questions, no tests and no pressure to do anything other than get to know each other.
Words really can not describe how wonderful it is, i say experience it for yourself and make up your mind.
The only other place i might consider birthing is if we ever buy a house that has a really nice back yard and i felt drawn to birth outside :thumbsup:
For my next birth i have decided i want to have a water homebirth. The reason being it is less stressful on myself and my family, i can chose who i want there and who i don't want. I can be in the comfort and privacy of my own home, i won't have to endure countless interventions as things aren't going the way they would like it to. I will have one-on one support from a midwife, not being left in the dark scared about what my body was doing and stressing cause noone was telling me anything!
I want to feel supported and encouraged not dismissed and humiliated.
I chose it initially because of a lack of proper birth options in OZ. I assumed wrongly that it would be like NZ, and I would be able to birth in a quiet litle BC like my sis did twice in NZ. I was really wrong, and decided I would hate to birth in a hospy, as I was not sick, so decided to go the HB route.
I did not know anyone else who had done it, I just got on the net and found a mw, and the rest is history...the very very best decision of my life, one of those fork in the road kind of things, it has changed my life forever.:thumbsup:
Like apprentice momma, I didn't know anyone who had homebirthed, but the idea of hospital didn't appeal to me, cause I hate being told what to do.:laughing: Sad but true!!
The idea of a birth centre didn't appeal either, probably becasue my DH's ex had their son in one, so I didn't want to be seen as copying...:o
Can't remember when the idea of homebirthing came to me, all I remember was it was early on in the pregnancy, and god bless him, DH said, "it's your body, you give birth where you want to"!! I wish all hubby's were so easy going about it. The more I thought about it, the more it appealed to me. Loved the idea of giving birth where I wanted, with whomever I wanted there. Found my m/w in the yellow pages, rang half a dozen, but only ever met with her, as we hit it off straight away (we actually share our birthdate). Had a few people think I was a bit mad, but on a whole were very supportive, especially my mum, which helped alot. By the way, mum was a nurse by training, and had 3 ceasers, due to my older brother having a prolasped cord. I think that was the closing argument for me, when I asked my m/w (who had been in independant practise for around 20 years), if she had ever dealt with any, and she told me that she had attended 10 births with prolaspes, 9 were born safely with her, 1 transfered to hospy and baby died while waiting for the theatre for the ceaser...
Anyway, enough rambling, I have never regretted the decision, and would happily give birth at home many more times if I could.:thumbsup:
Mummyof5, I could have written your post, except for the bit about your mum and brother!;)
I had the first two in the UK where it is much more accepted. With dd1 when I went to the gp initially she did mention homebirth as one of the options but I really knew nothing about pg and birth then and said I would prefer to have my first in hospital. At each of my antenatal appts my m/w (Sue) mentioned it but it wasn't until I went on the hospital tour I realised that I would never be comfortable in that environment. Walked out and told dh in the carpark that there was no way in the world I was going back there and was having a homebirth, lol. He was a bit worried at first but I booked in with the homebirth team and my m/w (Sandra) talked him around.
By the time I made that decision I'd done a lot more research into birth and already decided I wanted a natural birth.
With dd2 never considered anything different and was lucky to have Sandra as my m/w again and also for the birth (the dedicated homebirth team had been disbanded by then and therefore I could have anyone within the community team at the birth).
dd3 was here and as soon as I found out I was pg I phoned around to find out costs etc as the thought of a hospital birth scares me so much.
Hi Natalie ....
"There she lay … a stranded beetle tethered to the bed … a bleeping machine with wiggly lines on one side … another bleeping machine infusing some kind of ominous cocktail into her veins on the other side … and suddenly she sat bolt upright and cried, “I’m frightened!”
The midwife seized her by the shoulders and pushed her down flat.
“Now listen to me! Just lie still!”
“Deep breath, dear. Nearly there! We just have to give you a little pizzy,” came from the nether regions beneath the surgical drapes.
An aside to the student nurse: “Jab that into her thigh with the birth of the anterior shoulder. Don’t worry. She won’t feel it.”
Such was my lasting impression of birth during my rotation in an obstetric unit. That was enough to make any thinking woman run screaming down the road in the opposite direction. Recently, I’ve read in various women’s magazines that “parturiphobia”, the pathological fear of childbirth is on the rise, especially among educated, middle class women.
I vividly remember my midwife mother tut-tutting, “These modern career women! They’ve no instinct, you actually have to teach them how to breastfeed - and the fuss they make during the delivery!”
In due course, I myself became one of these modern career women and in the fullness of time, got pregnant. My mind still echoed with the gory stories Mum brought home from the delivery suite. I winced at the memory of myself as the student nurse poised with the needle aimed at the trembling thigh of the stranded beetle (I never did believe that ‘she didn’t feel a thing’). I knew one thing for sure …. Wild horses couldn’t drag me into a hospital to have my baby.
To be humiliated and stripped of my clothes and my choices… Left shell-shocked and out-raged, struggling with ambivalent feelings towards the squalling infant in my arms… Swallowing rage at the loss of control and dignity, yet having to act grateful… All banged up and cut and stitched and patronized and having all different uniforms peering at my intimate bits …. Oh sure. Sign me up now.
There just had to be a better way.
So I did a bit of research. I found that the basis for the “smart women have no instinct” view dated back to the Victorian era when it was supposed that the intellectual exercising of a woman’s mind interfered with her biological mothering instincts. Which explains why not educating women was really an act of benevolence - to protect them from influences that would disrupt their ability to function in their natural role.
Oh, I see. So although knowledge and education combats the ignorance that perpetuates poverty, disease and social injustice, in the case of childbirth, it actually works to the detriment.
Surely, I thought, it’s fear that interferes with one’s ability to listen to one’s inner wisdom and instinct – not erudition!
A jaunt down the lane of obstetric history convinced me that we’re better off than any previous generation when it comes to choices in childbirth. Death was a real risk for our foremothers, as the pioneer graveyards testify. Modern medicine at least gave their daughters the assurance that actually dropping dead was unlikely. But the swing towards technological intervention left many feeling like butchered slabs of meat on the stainless steel delivery table.
While the greatly reduced maternal and infant mortality rates were something to applaud, it seemed that somewhere along the way, the baby of natural birth got chucked out with the bath water.
Is the dread of childbirth actually on the rise – or is it just that contemporary women are more assertive about saying so?
Fear of the unknown is surely a contributing factor. These days, it’s rare for a woman to have the opportunity to witness another woman give birth before she herself embarks on the adventure. I’d hate to try bungy jumping without watching someone else do a few times first. Most of the books in popular bookshops only contain the clinical facts – with maybe a token inclusion of women’s personal experience of birth in the margins. The media is not much help. How often do we see a labouring woman pacing up and down the hospital halls of “ER”, pausing to breath with intense concentration through a contraction? Boring. Nope – she’s shrouded in her hospital garb, semi-reclining cooperatively in her hospital bed as if labour precludes the ability to walk, and is soon shrieking, “I can’t do it!”
I thought talking to some birth veterans might be a good idea. I soon learned that even this approach required caution. One woman, upon eyeing my watermelon waistline, insisted that I accept every drug on offer. I weakly offered, “But I want the pain. I embrace the pain. I don’t want my natural hormones to be inhibited.” This was as a red rag to a bull. She practically forbade me to give birth without an epidural. “Why suffer if you don’t need to? Have everything!” She turned to my husband. “Make sure she has everything!”
Any thinking woman would be apprehensive.
I was in a dilemma. I considered the work women have done over the last century to win more control and self-determination over many aspects of our lives. Should I have to renounce all that on walking in the door of the maternity hospital? Was it even reasonable of me to expect that I could stay in control over such a deeply personal aspect of my life without compromising the safety of my baby? My search for answers took me beyond the mainstream of modern obstetrical practice. I read everything I could find on natural childbirth, active birth and homebirth. I trawled web-sites, read birth stories addictively and watched every birth video I could get my hands on.
Eventually my baby was born at home after 24 hours of gradual labour. Now if you put a gun to my head and forced me to run for an hour, dang, I’d do it. I’d feel like I was dying, but I’d do it. My first labour was like that. I spent most of it in a warm birth pool. I was free to move around, and assume any position that felt right. Although it wasn’t a complete walk in the park (more like a forced run in the park), neither was it The Most Excruciating Pain I’ve Ever Endured or The Hardest Thing I’ve Ever Done – as the Prophetesses of Doom had advised me to be prepared for. And, amazingly, thanks to the unflagging support of my birth team (husband, midwife and doula), I stayed calm and coped well. No yelling and screaming, not even any swearing (unusual for a drama queen like me) – in fact, everyone was nodding off between contractions. My daughter was born into a room warmed by an open fire as the Irish spring rain pattered a lullaby on the roof.
Having three babies in five years has been hard work and very tiring at times – but I can honestly say that giving birth was an exhilarating adventure. Confessions of a Complete Wuss: I hate pain and I’m no Iron Woman. Homebirth was the right choice for me because I knew that with my ex-nurse aversion to the hospital-style birthing system, it wouldn’t be the safe, empowering environment I needed. I didn’t think I’d have enough confidence to convince them to let me plod at my own pace without “helping” me with a rupture of membranes or a shot of syntocinin. I needed the hands-off approach of a midwife willing to watch, wait and allow me to do what she knew I could do.
Obviously, home birth isn’t for everyone. But I fervently hope that in the near future, government-funded home birth will be an option for healthy, ‘low risk’ Aussie women, as per the successful New Zealand model. Regardless of where women choose to have their babies, privacy, dignity, safety, loving support, and full say in all decisions are every woman’s birthright.
Like most things in life, there are still inherent risks in having a baby. Childbirth will always be hard work for most women, painful for many, and medical assistance may be necessary for some. But we are stronger than we know, and wiser than we think. I found that by doing my own research and asserting my own informed choices, I could reclaim responsibility, and therefore control of my childbearing experience.
Why did I choose homebirth...
because I was brought up to believe birth was a natural, normal process and that home was the most natural, comfortable environment to birth... very simple..
Is the dread of childbirth actually on the rise – or is it just that contemporary women are more assertive about saying so?
Yes...:yes: Interesting thought there.
Perhaps it is not dread of childbirth per se, but dread of the way healthy, intelligent, strong women are suddenly treated as though they are brainless nitwits, and put on some hospital production line...shudder...
I wanted a homebirth for Olivia's birth, but thought that it would be better to 'see how I went' with a hospital birth first. I wish I had of known better. Oh well, next one I will do everything within my power to birth my baby at home :yes:
I really hope you get your heart's desire, IKis84. There's a quote they use in The Pink Kit by Maya Angelou: "You do the best you can with the skills you have. When you know more, you do better."
It really grieves me and suprises me tho, that in many Australian hospitals, they just don't equip first-time mothers with skills and information that would help minimize their chances of intervention and trauma.
It's like, "why teach them how to work with their birthing bodies, all they need to do is lie on the bed, we've got the drugs, the machines and we can always just give them a ventousee, forceps, episiotomy or c/s if that does not work."
It makes me sad. There is much better birth education and preparation in other countries. Why do so many trusting first time mums in Australia have to go through a traumatic first time experience and then have to work so hard to unearth the alternative info to get what should have been easily accessible in the first place?
All the best, Ikis84.:hugs:
Thank you all for your replies :thumbsup:
Julie! You wrote an essay! Thank you and I'm extremely glad you've quoted maya Angleou. I've never heard this before. It really touched me considering I blame myself for my c/s.
I've since realised that there is just no guidance in labour and just like breastfeeding which needs to be learned. If we are so isolated from each other, from our extended and even immediate families then how can skills and arts be passed on? Not from the anonymous professional at the hospital or clinic.
I guess that's why I made this thread. How come some women had the smarts to choose homebirth or seek a natural vaginal birth when I took it for granted that my child's birth was a medical event, something for the Dr or midwife to perform on my behalf, something for which drugs and intervention were absolute requirements (unless you were stark raving mad!)
Thanks all of you and keep sharing your stories (and I'll keep sharing your stories too :thumbsup: ) Birthing women need to know there are options! And childbirth need not be suffered and then forced to the back of ones mind in the hopes of forgetting.
So who's Mum or family member had a homebirth :detective:
Who took for granted that they would always birth their baby at home?
I have seen this in research help if anyone is interested http://bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=98076 Women's choice, women's voice, women's right...
I've since realised that there is just no guidance in labour and just like breastfeeding which needs to be learned. If we are so isolated from each other, from our extended and even immediate families then how can skills and arts be passed on? :)
Hi Nat, I can relate. Birth went OK for me thanks to lots of research but I did not put the same foresight into breastfeeding and just kind of stumbled through the best I could. Lack of information and support definitely diminished my bf confidence and ability. I fed #1 for 16 months which was OK and managed to eke out the second & third for 12 months, but I really struggled with sore nipples at the start and a hopeless dwindling milk supply at the end.
NOW, I know so much more and often I'm like, "How I WISH I'd known that while I was still breastfeeding!?" If I had researched and Googled like crazy about BF like I did about birth, I probably could've unearthed the info I needed. But I just assumed I could do it, and unfortunately, stuff about scheduling came my way and I was influenced by that even though I tried hard to resist it and trust my instincts.
I was very isolated at the time and under imense stress - in Asia, far from relatives, friends, other bf women, and organizations like La Leche or ABA!
Even in your own confortable home in Australia, you can still be isolated from the kind of womanly support you need for birth & breastfeeding. I agree with you that ideally, it needs more personal support than what our institutions offer (I'm glad for the insitutions, but relational, personal support works well with these womanly things).
My babes and I would've gotten a lot more out of bf if we'd had more knowledge and support. We did the best we could at the time, but I know the skills I've since become aware of would've made a big difference.
You know, on hearing that I gave birth at home, a woman at a party the other day (who I don't know) asked "what? You had a homebirth? Are you allowed to do that?"....(!!!)....before I got a chance to reply, she answered herself, "oh, well I guess they can't make you..."...I was wondering "who are 'they'??" I must say, I was shocked and horified, realising that this woman spoke on behalf of many in telling me she had no concept of being in power of her own body and of birth as a normal event, not something you have to be held prisoner over and turn submissive. Shocked and horified.....and I realised, I'd better hurry up and get some events orgnaised locally to help educated and empower women by showing them CHOICES!
I liked the idea of a homebirth for my first child but decided against it because a/ expense b/people kept saying "you shouldn't have a homebirth for your first baby" (how much wiser I am in retrospect!). I was 23 and really busy, having just moved from Sydney to Melbourne, and planing my wedding, which took place when I was 34 weeks pregnant, so I guess I didn't have time to dedicate myself entirely to thinking about the ideal birth, but I've always hated hospitals, and hated the idea of intervention and obstetricians.....all those feelings just came naturally to me.....probably brought about by the fact that I'd been reading midwifery text books in university libraries from the age of 12 as I have always been very passionate about birth (and had access to a uni, as my mother worked in one) and always had a positive view of birth. So, I booked into the birth centre at the Mercy Hospital, when it was in east melbourne. Unfortunately, that ended in an emergency caesarean at full dilation after a very very long labour. I really feel the outcome could have been a lot different had I had the right sort of support.
My second child was born in Sydney. We were living with my in-laws at the time, so homebirth was not an option (there is no way I'd feel free to birth in my in-laws home!). I booked into the birth centre at the RPA Hospital, where they encourage water birth. My second baby was born in the water with minimal intervention (managed 3rd stage and canula "just in case" where all I agreed to).
My third baby was born in Melbourne where VBAC is seen as an evil, rediculous request. I was not welcome in any birth centre, and I'd have to fight the system to have no intervention in hospital. I wwas also not "allowed" to ahve a waterbirth in a hospital. I also became aware, very quickly, that the midwives here are far more likely to be med-wives, even in a midwives clinic, which just disgusted me, and homebirth was a very easy choice, which I decided on even though the financial cost would be far more than my other births, which were free in public birth centres/hospitals. My water homebirth was my BEST birth, and at no time did I have hesitations after I made my desicion at about 16 weeks gestation. I didn't even give it a thought during labour, either. In fact, the idea of going to a hospital would not have been welcomed at all!
My own birth, 27 years ago was a very traumatic experience for my mother and myself. She was a private patient, with a private obstetrician, at the Jessie McPherson hospital in the city. It ended up that her ob wasn't there, and whoever took over left her stuck in 2nd stage for 12 hours! In the end I was a "high forcepts delivery" in theatre, and my mother passed out after briefly seeing me. I was in shock and taken to NICU (for about 12 hours, I think). Anyway, I grew up hearing my birth story in all it's gory detail, esspecially on my birthday. Most people would then fear birth, I guess, and go for a hospital environment to give birth themselves. I went the other way. It was the hospitals, the intervention, and the obstetrical views and measures that really scared me. I always viewed a baby being born as a beautiful, magical event, and hence became very interested in midwifery, became a doula, and eventually had my brilliant home birth.
Hi everyone, I just finished reading all you've written. I'm into 32 weeks and for the last 4 weeks I've been agonizing, not being able to make a decision if I want to go for a homebirth.
My husband and I wanted to try this one and only birthing centre in Gold Coast, at Gold Coast hospital, but it was too late and also we lived outside the "catchment" area.
We thoght of alternative, but as long as it is a hospital, I thought I'd have more chance of being pushed into what I don't want. I wanted a natural birth without drug, intervention, c-section.
I was almost into home birth, after interviewing two local homebirth midwives, but then I heard about some "earthy" person raving about Murwillumbah hospital across the border, and we went there to have a look.
It's not a posh, modern-looking hospital, but is situated in a countryside and have a view of beautiful pasture, rather than grey buildings and heavy traffic like in mega-hospital in cities.
Midwives were very nice and birthing suites looked non-surgical at all. They had either spa-bath or big bath. Although they don't do water birth, other than that, everything is to be carried away as I would want. No interventon, injections after birth, would be done without my consent. I liked it.
So since then I've been reading all the natural/active/home birth books I could put my hands on and talking with women who have had home birth. No surprise, everyone raves about it.
My concern is that my baby is breech at the moment, and this midwife I'm considering doesn't do breech birth. I could still receive her antenatal care and have her as doula at birth at hospital.
Now I'm about to call this lady who had baby at Murwillumbah hospital and see how freely she could handle her birth. Then I should be able to make some decison. Finally.
Funny, today I encountered this posting on "why home birth?". Exactly what I wanted to ask. And this midwife called me out of blue, (when I was thinking of calling her to clarify some of her service) to see how I'm doing. Then also a lady who does Hypno-birthing rang me if I had come to decide her course. Then my ex-neighbour who mentioned about this lady at Murwillumbah called me with her phone number (as I had requested). All this birth thing happening at once this morning.
Must be an omen. Yes, I spend a whole day yesterday, intensely focusing on how I want to deliver my baby. Could be a calling.
anyway, thank you all very much for your insights. I hope I can reach my decision today.
All the best, I hopeyou come to a place of peace with your decision, whatever it is. :hugs:
Hiya Minorimama -
I was far from home and did not find my homebirth midwife until I was 34 weeks pregnant.
It was enough time. It was amazing how everything just panned out. I felt like I knew her well by the time I went into labour - at 39 weeks.
I hope everything just falls into place for you, too, as you trust your instinct and make bold choices for YOU.
I've heard about the Natural Birth Institute in far north NSW - you can actually give birth there - if you'd like more details about it, feel free to pm me.
Well I haven't and am not currently planning a homebirth but only because I love the options I do have here and feel I can get exactly what I want at the birth centre. I'm comfortable there.
If there were no birth centre's in my area (none I was comfortable with anyone...there's actually two here!) and hospital was the only choice I'd have a homebirth. Why? Cause I don't want to feel like I am in a hospital for a completely natural thing. I don't want to have some know it all OB insist he/she knows my body better than I do, nor do I want some random midwife come in and presume to know how I want to give birth and what I need.
I am in love with my mw and she is leaving me a month before I am due cause she is going to work for doctors without borders. She was so incredible with my first labour and I always told DH that we were stopping having kids when she was no longer available. Well she's left me with one half baked! I cried like a baby the whole weekend after I found out. It was a major grieving process for me and through it all DH actually asked me if I wanted to have a homebirth. He is fully supportive of my decision!
It just so happens I met with my new mw and I lay down the law about how I choose to labour and told her straight away 'if you're uncomfortable with any of this you let me know right now' but she assured me that she was 100% supportive of me and I felt instantly comfortable with her!
I do however like knowing that if I choose to have a homebirth in the future I don't have to convince DH...he is already on board!
Carmen - I cannot imagine how hard it would be to be left by your mw in the middle of a pregnancy!:hugs:
I am glad you have found another who seems to be on the same page, and it is wonderful DH is so supportive.
Thanks Am. It was difficult (well I still haven't had to say goodbye yet and that will be tough) but she has said that on the off chance that she is still in Aus, whether working or not when I'm in labour the mw replacing her will ring her and she'll come and be my mw (she'll still be working at the hospital...I got to a birth centre inside a hospital, she'll be out in th ehospital part rather than do the one one one midwife thing). When I went to look at the other birth centre she told me she'd come and be a support person for me if she was available. She's great and I really can't argue with the fact that she will most likely be off helping women in refugee camps in Africa give birth!
Carmen, I know how you feel. I had my first 2 kids in Sydney, then moved to the Mornington Peninsula in Vic. I had to find an ew m/w and after a bit of searching found a woman who I just adore, and still talk to now, via email. She attended my next 2 births, with a back up m/w for the actual birth part.
Then she moved to the US!! I was lucky enough to have my former back up m/w take me on for no.5, but was so sad the J couldn't be there.
Flukey thing, was due christmas day, but baby was 12 days over...and coincidentally J came home for a visit that christmas, so promised if she was free she would do the back up thing. Bronte turned up on the last possible night for J to be there, she flew home the following evening. It was wonderful to have her there, so I hope your lovely middie can make it for your birth too.:fingerscrossed:
Hi Julie doula,
Thank you for your suggestion on Natural Birth Institute. I googled it but couldn't find any info on it. Would you mind give me more details? Where can I learn more about it?
If you pm me then I can send you my email, you can email me and I can email you the info!
My third babe was breech at 32 weeks. That's common. Some babes don't move head down until 32 -36 weeks, and some wait until labour to turn. Don't worry, your body and your baby can do it. I'll watch for your pm.
Thanks Apprenticemomma and mummyof5. It really helped that my new mw was so lovely right from the beginning. She stayed after her shift had ended so she could meet me and actually apologised that she couldn't do a house call to see me. Totally unnecessary, but I did leave our appointment feeling like I was being left in excellent hands. I also know that she is going to be talking to my current mw about what she did for me in labour so that she is fully aware of what I do and don't like from a mw's perspective as well. It was just a very unexpected curve ball to be faced with but the only thing that I'm concerned about is managing to say goodbye to my mw without blabbering like a fool! :laughing:
Im mainly chosing to homebirth for #3 (when it comes around!) because our nearest maternity hospital is a couple of hours away. So labouring in the car for that long would not be nice. And I dare say seeing as my labour was so quick with #2, I dont think I'd make it the 2 hrs to hospital.
We do have a hospital 500m up the road, so I feel safer birthing in my own house. We just have to find a midwife ...
The reason i am choosing to have a homebirth for my next because is because I went to a baby expo last year and listened to a talk that a lady from the "independant Midwifery Assoc" was giving about waterbirths. I listened intently and broke into tears at the end, because i was so upset that i went through such a horrible birth with my DS (not SOOOO bad now that i look back on it) when i could have had something so natural and peaceful and comforting as a home waterbirth.
I pretty much decided then and there that i would definitely be having one for my next bub.
And all the research i have done since then has only reassured me that i am making the right decision.
Its a bit upsetting to me when people have negative reactions when i tell them my plans to homebirth next time, but when i really think about it, people say that "its safer to be in a hospital to have your baby". Well, not really! When i had DS it was 4am on new years morning, there were no dr's or anethetists or anyone at the hospital except 2 midwives who had to help me AND all the other women on the ward, so really the midwives were hardly ever with me, except for the actual birth. My private OB didnt come to the birth. So how safe was i in hospital, when if something had of gone wrong, they would have bundled me up into an ambulance and send me to another hospital 20 mins away.
So i ask you now? Which is safer? That hospital experience? Or having my own personal midwife who will be with me the WHOLE time and never leave my side, in the comfort and safety of my own home. And then if something is going wrong, i would just have to get the ambulance to the hospital that is 20 mins away!
Doesnt really make sense does it? I know that i have made the right decision, and if people cant get their heads around that, then its too bad.
Birth is the most natural thing in the WHOLE world, why should we be made to feel that we are *sick* and have to lay in a hospital bed?!
Sorry for the rant, i am just very passionate about this subject and was sooo incredibly disapointed by my first birth experience, i am utterly determined to make the next one a positive one. :p
Thanks for listening :ecomcity:
You can do it, MummyKritso! Good on you for your passion and determination. Go for it!
I decided many years ago that I wanted a water birth. Previously I wanted the safety of a hospital and because then they'd clean up any mess so I just hoped that it would be available by the time it's time for me to give birth. Only recently have I decided that I'd prefer the quiet of home, plus I feel I've have better control of the situation, eg. won't be pressured to deliver at the doctor's convenience, no hustle and bustle, better control of when the cord is cut and whether baby gets a vitamin K shot, having my baby close to me at all times and of course I'd get the water birth I've always wanted. I have faith that my body knows what to do and I don't want someone insisting that it can't when I know my body best.
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