Mother In Laws

[*Chels*]

HI EVERYONE!
i just wanted to have a b**ch really, my future MIL came round today and p**sed me off.the thing is that she really doesnt do anything spectacular, just her presence gives me a headache!!
shes so bossy and opinionated!its her way or the highway!and she just goes on and on and on bout things!!
her fav thing is to tell me everyday that i need to give my baby water.i b/f and i have tried to give him a bottle(both water and milk)he wont take eitheer!my midwife said my milk will accomodate when its hot, so not to bother with water.
she panics if he cries(he must have a sore tummy!hes got wind!maybe hes sick!)when i can tell he is just hungry.once he was crying and i went to take him but she wouldnt hand him back.i said 'great, im not even allowed to hold my own baby!'
she said"hes got colic' i said "no, he doesnt"
then shes like "david had it!(my future BIL) then goes"the more u feed him,the worse he will get!!!"
f*** that pi**ed me off!!implying i feed him 2 much!and just coz he was grizzly does not mean he has colic!!
another thing that pi**ed me off is when we went out for tea, she hadnt seen us for like a week, and everytime she held riley he would cry(haha i was laughing)
drama queen that she is she started yelling"he hates me!!i havent seen him for a week and im a stranger to him!!"
i just looked at her and said"how do u think my mum feels?"
we just moved to gold coast from nz, and its really upsetting for me that my mum(whos still in nz) is missing out on watching riley grow up, then when MIL goes and says s*** like that, it gets me mad!!!
i cant even explain all the annoying things she does.what i hate most is her telling me how to raise my child.i know she probably means well, but hello!!she had kids 30 years ago!!!maybe the thing i hate the most is that i miss my mum and i almost resent my MIL for getting to watch riley grow up, when my mum cant.is that stupid?my mum never once told me what to do with riley!!she always asked ME what I wanted to do(eg- she would ask if he needed a feed or if i wanted him put to bed etc)
well sorry this is so long!!i just needed to get it out.i feel a bit better but stil frustrated!!!am i being a b**h??does anyone else have this problem?
thanks guys

[giggles]

I am sure MIL's have to read a book and do a test before theyre sons get married because they all end up the same!

Sorry I have no advice for you, but I sure understand where you are coming from.

Hope you feel better for venting..........

[JATS]

My MIL is a control freak who can't stand the thought I married her son and am having her grandkids.

I've told about her here before, the abreviated version is;


When we were dating she told DH I "wasn't his type" and told me I was "just a fling"
When we moved in together she called daily telling DH to come home because she couldn't handle FIL or my 2 BIL's without DH there
When DH proposed she told DH he should be "playing the field rather than getting himself tied down"
During our 2.5 yr long engagement she made every effort to split us up
When the wedding got near she ruined the invitations and the hid the veil and importand phone numbers (celebrant/cake/dress/etc)
When I fel pg before the wedding, she found out and attacked me 2 weeks before the wedding day, causing me to loose the baby.
She constantly tels me to 'be careful' with birth control because she dosen't want any more grandkids (I haven't touched birth control since early 2003 and don't plan to start anytime soon)


So yeah you're not the only woman who really can't stand her MIL's atitude!

Amy

[dormouse]

OMG!!!

Reading that, I felt like I was reading about my life!
Except, I am lucky enough to have my mum near by as well.

I have found, that the best thing to do is walk away. I have tried telling my MIL how I feel, how I like to do things, why I am angry etc, but she pays no attention to me. She thinks that if I start to talk about it, I am asking her advice. I don't want her advice! I don't want to raise my children the way she raised hers! I don't think she did that good a job! The only reason DH turned out ok, was because I got my hands on him before he got out of control! :D

If she starts annoying me now, I just get up & walk away. That way she knows that she has upset me & I can enjoy the sucking up that will come for the next few days before we start all over again!

Really, I just wanted to vent & let you know that you are not alone. Don't let her see that she gets to you. I think they like that! ;)

[Frazzled]

For sure, they can not stand anyone else in their son's life. I have come to the conclusion that my MIL is such a horrible person to me because I am competent. She is lovely and very supportive to my SIL, because she is needy and doesn't do much really. My DH is always, and has always, raved about me and what i do (not that i am blowing my own trumpet) and she really hates that I take very good care of him. My summary if you like:

* when DH told her we were engaged she said i was far too young and was he sure?
* at the wedding she left 1 1/2 hours before the reception finished and while everyone else was telling me how beautiful i looked all she said was "they didn't do a very good job of taking the hem up on your dress did they?"
*when we fell pregnant (after trying for 18 months) she said "Oh, what will you do about that accident"!!!
* accused us throughout the whole pregnancy that we knew the sex of the baby and were lying about it because we painted the nursery aqua - aparently a boys only colour!
* my DH had to ask them to come down (they live 3hrs away - yah!) when E was born to support him and see their first grandchild... When he was born they gave him a pair of ugly booties and for xmas he got a pair of $9 pj's - they are loaded...
* asked me when i would be joining weight watchers two days after the baby was born...
I could go on!

But funnily enough, she has softened a little since the baby was born and my FIL has turned into an absolute a-hole. I am just so glad they live far away and glad i have my mum so close! Revenge for my MIL though was at xmas when we went to stay for a few days and E projectile pooed all over her bed and carpet!!! He he he

[reAllytee]

Oh the dreaded MIL.
I love the feeding bubs too much will give him colic !!!!!!!! :rolleyes: Thats an absolute ripper hahahaha !!!
She sounds very similar to my MIL an overreacting drama queen !!!!!
Heres my little list hehehe.
* When we found out we were pregnant she said to my partner "Oh well what are you going to do about it as obviously YOUR not happy about it & its a bad accident blah blah" eeeerrrrrr he had just been saying how excited HE was !!!!!!
* She has basically implied time & time again that i fell pregnant on purpose & have wanted to trap him etc. Yeah bubs was an accident but only by 8mths or so that was actually how we fell pregnant as i had come off birth control !!!!
* We also got accused of knowing the sex of the baby because i had done blue stripes on the white walls from waist height down but it also had green stars the blue & it is so light & soft its not funny !!! It was then left so that depending on whether it was a boy or girl i could put pink stars as well as butterflies etc for a girl or a darker blue stars & yellow moons for a boy !!!
* Like KateP ( feeling for you girl ! ) i had comments made about my weight mind you i had hardly shown up until the 8th month due to hyperemesis & had lost weight to begin with stacking on 10kgs in 2mths & yes it sucked like i didnt know already !!!! Anyways she made the comment of "Ooohhhh well bubs is big no wonder you looked so fat" I nearly choked her !!!
* She also called me a wuss for stopping bf due to bubs biting me & drawing blood plus he also had a tongue tie which would also cut into a different section of my nipple *ouch* but yep im a wuss !!!!
* When we got engaged she just said "Oh" & left it at that wouldnt talk about it etc until my partner mentioned that my family had thrown us a party etc then we got a present of pasta bowls that are so ugly you have no idea !!!!
* Bubs got a jumpsuit & a pair of booties when he was born as well as them buying the cot & then only cause she realised my family had gone nuts buying stuff as well as my mum buying the pram & the likes then for Christmas he got a book that is suitable for a 2yr old (which we know she got for free !), socks that dont fit, a bib & CHOCOLATEs !!! Yes just what every 10mth old needs !!! They are loaded & have never once offered any help & then they have the hide to not even buy him something worthwhile for his pressies !!!!! Whereas my family who havent got much give us anything & everything !!!!
* We get the "your keeping him from me its not fair etc" as well as a phonecall every so often yelling that " i bet you have had him christened & not invited us & if you havent i bet you wont blah blah"
I also could go on but wont at this stage :p :D

[JnA]

OMG!! reading about your MIL's makes my MIL look like a saint.. and believe me, she ain't no saint!


I dunno Chels21, maybe they get like that because they want to feel important again? Maybe it's becasue there is another woman that their son loves and that is tough for them to accept? Maybe they think that having raised kids already they know best? Maybe they are just psycho hose beasts?
I feel for you having your own mum so far away.

If you were closer I'd let you share my mum.. she's pretty alright. :D


Next time your MIL says something that annoys you try to turn it into white noise. You know like that classic cartoon thing where one person is talking a load of crap and the other person only hears 'blah, blah, blahblah, blah blah, blahblah" :D

[W & T's sleepy mummy]

Hi! chels21

I guess there is always gonna be problems between MIL & DIL's. Mine is almost as bad, but the way I see it is that if they raised the one who you love, surely at some point they did something right??

I promise though, as the mummy of 2 sons - they will be great catches, & I will be an even greater MIL!! LOL - oldest is only 4!:D :D

[SixtiesChild]

Some MILs really have forgotten how to look after babies. :confused:
And just because when they had babies things were done a certain way, it doesn't mean this is what you do now. In the last 20-30 years, the way babies are cared for has changed dramatically.
Don't take things to heart too much though, you sound like you're really missing you're mum and a long way off from her- it doesn't help.
Do you call your mum, once a week or more? International phone calls are less expensive on a sunday evening.
Sometimes sharing the little things that you're baby is up to on a weekly basis with your mum might ease the pressure that you are feeling from your MIL.

Goodluck:)

[*Chels*]

thanks everyone for your support and stories.i feel kinda bad now coz shes never been NASTY to me, like some of your MIL's!!i mean she never tried to split me and mark up, or called me fat or anything!!
i email my mum every few days and talk every week.she knows bout my MIL and told me to keep my pecker up!!!
well girls, keep the stories coming!!!whats the deal with annoying mother in laws?
my fiances brothers girlfriend-hayley(god what a mouthful!!)has the coolest parents who we see alot.im so jealous!!hayley feels the same bout my MIL, so do her parents.maybe she is a b**** after all......

[our little treasures]

YEP this is my mil to a tea!!! On my 21st she told my mum that I was no good for her son and mum said well they LOVE each other and she said well love aint enough etc!! My mum doesnt like her and wants nothing to do with her now my mil says I wondetr why your mum hates me?? She use to bail me up when fil and hubby went to get takeaway and tell me how wonderful his ex was and what a great girl she was! Then tell my hubby that I was asking her questions etc and made them feel uncomfortable.. A bit like the time she said I told her to F*** Off and her 11 yr old daughter backed her up when All I said was I have had a f***** enough of this after her screaming at hubby for 2 hrs how I am no good for him only weeks before I was due to get married acting as if I wasn't in the other room!! So I think she well and truly deserved it!!

[SweetDreams]

I feel your pain.

Mine is irritating and manipulating and conniving - everyone else thinks she's the most sweetest, kindest person in the whole wide world!

The most recent story I have is MIL telling my mother that she (MIL) wanted my DH to marry MIL's Bestfriend's Daughter!!!!

:eek: :eek: :eek:

My signature motto is pretty much aimed at her! Not that I've ever done anything violent towards her!!!

[JATS]

My signature motto is pretty much aimed at her! Not that I've ever done anything violent towards her!!!

:D I like that :D

[SweetDreams]

hehehe yeah - you either laugh or you cry! I prefer to laugh 99% of the time! :)

[tpham]

Yep another MIL thread!!! I swear they need help...seriously
After reading this...it all started to sound like mine MIL!!!
Why do they do this?? Mine kept telling me i dont know how to look after my kids and i should sign the rights to hand them over to her! Yeah right, as if that was ever going to happen!!!

They are just so mean...why cant they be normal and so we can all get along?
When my father had a cardiac arrest and was in ICU, i went to pick up my husband (boyfriend at the time) and she screamed at me for taking him out and saying that my father being in hospital was an excuse to get her son out of the house. Then after 5 days in hospital he passed away, when DH told her, she said i was lying!!! Ohhhh that ****ed me right off!!!!

And when we come over on sundays for dinner, she always said outloud, theres only enough for Paul (DH), so the rest have to starve or find their own dinner.

Its a shocker the things she has done.
Yep, her presence in my house just give me the ****s, and sometimes when they come up to visit, she suprises us by bringing in her overnight bag and didnt bother to tell us or ask us if they can sleep over!!!

hmmm thats my vent for the day!
hope you all have a good weekend!!!
Try NOT to let your MIL's get to you!

[tpham]

oh yeah and just after giving birth to Aleisha, shes told us we're not to have any more kids!!!

As if...i feel like popping them out every year just to **** her off!!!
When i was in labour and having not eaten anything during that time, she comes in to visit the baby (not me of course) and when she came in, she bought in food. I thought, wow thats so nice of her, then she said the food was only for DH. So i had to ring my mum who was coming in to visit ME that day to bring me some food as i was starving, as you can all imagine.

They are wicked!! just evil evil evil!!!

[*Chels*]

tpham=
your mother in law sounds like a REAL B****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[JnA]

tell me how wonderful his ex was and what a great girl she was!

oh yeah, I got this one too. In fact my MIL stayed 'friends' with his ex for quite a while and invited her to some family gatherings saying things like, "Do you remember when you two did this, you were so happy." and "I wish it was like that time we all went there, we had a great time didn't we? That doesn't happen anymore" (looking pointedly at me.
I didn't stay long at any of those 'family' gatherings and, happily for me, DP left with me. But, of course, I was the bad one for taking her son away from the family gatherings, yet I never once asked him to leave with me.

[shed]

oh my god, reading these posts makes me realise how lucky I am!!

Its MY mother that would drive me crazy. But she lives in NZ, thankfully, so she's not around to drive anyone anywhere.

And thats the way I like it. My MIL is pretty tame really.

I can put up with pretty much anything after being raised by my mum.

But if you talk to my brother's wife I bet SHE would have some interesting MIL stories, lol.

[our little treasures]

oh wow so I'm not the only one...LOL

[Katcha]

My mil's a bit of a pain too. When we first took bubs over to her place & we let her hold her, I honestly thought she was going to drop her. The mil was sitting right on the edge of the couch with Katelyn only just balancing on her knee & not being properly supported. I was just crouching down ready to catch her if she fell! :eek:
Then when the mil came over on christmas day, she kept annoying me trying to tell me that Katelyn had colic because she was crying, and I knew that was not the case. Plus she had a go at me when I was holding Katelyn & telling me I should support her head. Her head did not need support...she's got very strong neck muscles & can support her own head, unless she's getting sleepy.....& this coming from the mil who looked like she was going to drop her! Then she proceeded to tell me that it's probably not a good idea for us to keep our cockatiels now that we have bubs because of bird flu. :rolleyes: She also made sure to tell me when we opened the pressie we got for Katelyn which was a gloworm, to make sure it was suitable & that it had no small parts. Like we would actually get her something without making sure it was safe to begin with!
Oh & another thing. I'm about to take bub's with me to Adelaide tomorrow for a week to meet my family in Adelaide. She's really against that....thinks bubs shouldn't be flying. Doesn't my family have a right to meet bubs too?
Anyway....that's my rant over for today....:o

[heymamma]

Not a good day for me to reply to this but oh well.... My mother inlaw is omg driving me friggin mental. I told her how hubby does nothing when he gets home or on weekends but play ps2 or pc or tv... & she said that is how he relaxs....well hey how bout me u friggin weirdo!!! she also said i should try to make things more relaxing for him when he gets home from work by offering him a beer ....well why dont i put the bloody french maid outfit on while im out it ha granny so he gets everything he needs!!!!! :mad: Cause you know i only take care of 3 kids all day 5 yr old 18mth old that destroys everything in his site & an 8 mth old who is teething but hey thats just playtime. OH God!!! Settle kel blood is starting to boil. :mad:

[Odessa]

Most men have been raised that way, unfortunately. The old saying goes "A woman's work is never done". MILs and their sons seem to think that because a man goes to work and gets paid, he shouldn't have to lift a finger when he gets home. We (the next generation of mamas and mamas-to-be) need to raise our sons to see themselves not only as breadwinners, but functional and caring partners. That's the only way the world will change.