Should I tell her?

[Hector]

Taking a roadtrip soon and stopping off to see a mate who is getting married later this year. My sister has just told me that mate's fiance recently phoned her dad to call the wedding off because he had cheated on her. Anyway, her dad,naturally concerned, contacted his daughter/our mate and she said it was all a wind up and not to worry. However, according to my sister who has been better friends with mate (I've been o/seas and had bub) he's not trustworthy and has cheated in the past and her family/friends/my sister have never understood why she sticks by him.

The thing is, I'm wondering if it's my place to say anything to her when I see her?? As she lives in a different state now from the rest of her family/friends, I'll probably be the only one who sees her in person between now and the wedding. When we travelled o/seas we were mates, but since I've been back I've hardly seen her and seeing as I have bub I've not had the chance to catch up with her at all. The other thing is (and I don't know if it matters), she's always been a bit of a slapper herself, iykwim? We're polar opposites in this regard (lol, imagine my horror constantly catching her out o/seas!!) and it is a strange irony that I end up the single mum and she's getting married. I really cannot understand her being in love with one guy at all!! However I know from my experience the pressures of feeling trapped into a r'ship/marriage because everyone expects it and I'm anxious for her - everything is booked etc and she probably feels like a **** to back out now.

argh! She's fallen out a bit with her sister and mine (who were her good mates when she still lived in our hometown) because of this guy, so I get the feeling they aren't going to say anything because of that and will just go to the wedding and keep their heads buried in the sand. I just think it's a bit **** to talk about it all behind her back yet say nothing of our feelings to her. ****, if it was me...I dunno...had friends try to tell me about a guy in the past and because they waited until AFTER I started going out with him to tell me, I didn't listen...it all turned to ****e in the end and I wish I'd never gone near him, but don't think anything they could've said would've changed my mind...

:confused:

[Pobblebonk]

What is a 'slapper'?

And I guess if her own family have doubts about why she is with him, then they can see he's no good for her, and maybe it's her ego stopping her from ending it?

You could try to say something to her, but it might fall on deaf ears...

[sarmelie]

That's a tricky one hector my dear!


Perhaps a way to bring it up, is to mention that you heard about the phone call (if you could) and she'll most likely open up about it and maybe even her doubts about it all, and then you could drop in what you know about him.
That's a sucky situation that's for sure :(

[Hector]

ah, slapper: pobbles it is a magical term to describe somebody who likes to have sex with a lot of people, sometimes at once, usually not more than once and usually it is used to describe someone when they are very 'in your face' about this aspect of their behaviour!! It's a British term. Think there are many others used in Oz but that's not the point!!

That's a good idea just bringing up the phonecall. Cannot imagine she will just 'open up to me' as she's never been like that in the past (that's why I can't imagine her getting married!) and really don't want to be forcing my way into her life when I've not been in it for ages...

My brother also lives in Sydney so hopefully will be leaving little Ms Hector with him and going out for a few with my pal - that should get the conversation moving...just dunno. I like this guy more than I like her sister's husband but I wouldn't trust either of them as far as I could throw them! Too drunk too often to be relied on! What is it with males and alchohol???

[SorenLorensen]

for me it would depend on how good of a friend she is and what kind of conversations we have.

i mean if it was my bestfriend i would, well talk about anything and everything together.
yet i have another really close friend who i would not becuase we dont get into D&Ms.
but then even again i have a friend who i speak to every now and again, we are not besft friedn or anything like that, more like "oh yeah i know her" kind of friend and yes i would tell her becuase we do seem to open up to eachother.

its a very tuff situation.....just go with the flow of the conversation, and look for signs to back off or get deeper IYKWIM

[Pobblebonk]

ah, slapper: pobbles it is a magical term to describe somebody who likes to have sex with a lot of people, sometimes at once, usually not more than once and usually it is used to describe someone when they are very 'in your face' about this aspect of their behaviour!! It's a British term. Think there are many others used in Oz but that's not the point!!

Oh dear! Er... Er... Um... Just read my other post. Er...

[SorenLorensen]

Oh dear! Er... Er... Um... Just read my other post. Er...


is that a blushing pobble speaking:o ???

Hector you must be careful about what you say to our dear pobble, she is a very inocent young lady :p

[the_original_duchess]

i dont really now what you should do, i suppose just let her know what you know and be there for her if she wants to talk about it, or needs advice. sorry im not much help.......
Danielle