Stress of trying to Conceive

[Shiny95]

Hi,

I've just registered today. Desperate to chat to someone.

It's that time of the month again - you know that small window of opportunity when ovulation could occur.
I know they say getting stressed when trying to conceive does not help, but it's really starting to do my head in. It's really putting a strain on my relationship now. I've been off the pill for 16 months now and starting to realise what an impatient person i can be. I know that some people take a long time to fall, but how do you keep your sanity.

Has anyone else experienced tension in the relationship as a result of trying to conceive?

[cosmic]

Hi Shiny,

I think a lot of people have experienced that. Why don't you join in the TTC threads? You'll get lots of support over there.. it was my saviour when I was TTC. 16mths does seem like a long time so I can understand how you feel! Have you seen a doctor to make sure everything is fine? And what kinds of things are you using? OPK's? Charting etc?

Sorry.. lots of questions! Anyway - welcome to bubhub. Like I said, it's a great place for info and support. :)

[Shiny95]

Thanks for the tip, i shall check out the TTC threads. A little slow just trying to find my way around the forum.

Doing the charting, temp, ovulation tests etc etc. I did see my doctor and he suggested after my blood test showed i was healthy and no problems that the first thing we should do is test my husbands swimmers. And, of course, my husband thinks that's silly, as there is nothing wrong with his swimmers! This is what i'm up against - a prude of a husband (too scared to give a little sample). There's my problem i think. I'm sure you can sense my frustration.

Thanks again Cosmic.

[cosmic]

oh no. :rolleyes: I was pretty frustrated after about 4mths of trying (and half-heartedly for the first two!) so I can't even imagine how you must be coping after 16mths. Sounds like your hubby has some male pride getting in the way of your efforts which must be very difficult to deal with.

You will find the TTC threads under Conception Issues and there are lots of lovely ladies there who can give you advice. There is bound to be someone who has been in the same position! :)

[Jacki]

As cosmic said, come and join the TTC thread.

I've been TTC for 12 months! I was overjoyed to find this website and realise I wasn't the only one in this situation. As no-one really knows we're TTC it's great to be able to talk about with ladies in a similar situation.

I finally plucked up the courage to make a Dr's appointment this Saturday to see if there's anything wrong.

Hope you have some success soon!

[Valosgirls]

Hi Shiny:)
Sorry to hear about your stress in TTC many couples go through it - especially when it takes a long time. 16 months is a very long time to conceive. If you have not conceived after 12months its your Docs job to refer you to a fertility specialist. A round of blood tests is certainly not conclusive enough to say that all is ok.

I agree that your DH needs a sperm test - how to get around that though I dont know. Perhaps if you saw a specialist together then he may take things a little more seriously?

I would definitely get a referal for a specialist if I were you - it could be something as simple as a tube blockage or anything.
All the best - I hope you get that BFP soon - you certainly deserve it after such a long wait:)

Rik

[Peaceangels]

Hi & welcome Shiny95!

You have come to the right place for support while ttc, I wish I had found this place when we were ttc.

Look forward to chatting with you more.:)

Goodluck ttc and trust me, when it does happen it/they will be worth the wait! ;)

[bambino]

Hi Shiny95,

Welcome :p

Check out my thread FF and DH in Conceiving Issues.

I feel in a similair position except my prob is getting the "us" time while TTC. DH is always busy busy busy.

However we have been trying for 8 months now (when DH decides to make time). I was on the pill for 12 years (stopped in April 05 prior to marriage in May 05) so I don't think it is going to happen any time soon either.

Hopefully everyone's help and lovely advise will ease your mind. Navigate around the forum and I am sure you will find many other people that are in the same situation.

Good Luck.

[Jacki]

I find the most stressful thing is being asked, "when are you going to have a baby?", when you know damn well you've been trying for 12+ months. You don't want to hurt their feelings by telling them that though!

[draught]

Hi and welcome.
It took us 18 months to conceive and 6 of those were while having fertility treatment so I can fully identify with what you are going through. My DH was reluctant to have his 'boys' tested at first - not a prude, just worried about his manhood being questioned. When it came back that they were fine he was very proud! (The problem was with me - PCOS - which we knew but we had to confirm that he was okay before starting any treatment.)

I don't have a lot of advice other than to talk to him about how you feel and how much you want a baby. He doesn't necessarily have to "give" his sample at a clinic - Dh did his at home then we wrapped the container in alfoil and drove to the clinic to deliver it.

Hope you find some support and answers here.

[Shiny95]

Here i've been bottling up all my emotions with no one to discuss this with. Thank you all kindly for some re-assurance and understanding. I look forward to chatting more often.
Jacki, good luck with your doctors appointment on Saturday.

[JATS]

I TTC'd for 8 months before falling pregnant the first time, then lost my daughter, after the misscariage it took another 12 months to concieve again, anf thankfuly I now have a 6 month old son.

So all up 20 months of TTC, I found being a member of TTC boards really helps, they were often my only outlet. Before Bub hub I was a member of a primarily American board, but there were really only half a dozen other women who were there regularly enough to have a 'community' feel, whereas here there's heaps!

I still keep in tough with those 6 girls, 3 have had their babies, 1 is pregnant with a baby girl due on my Birthday (20th January) and the other 2 are still trying :( So you really can form very strong friendships.

Good luck on your TTC journey.

Amy

[lizzymcfizzy]

Hi Shiny

I have put unnecessary stress on myself, TTC since I went off the pill in March last year.

I've since had a laproscopy and been diagnosed with PCOS recently. Now I'm starting to understand the whole ovulation thing and getting tests to see if I ovulate.

I think the most stressful thing is all the information and so many things you need to concern yourself with.

My husband is definately stressing out because I'm stressing out but its hard not to!

[H&B'sMum]

It is so hard not the stress when you are going through something that really you have no control over. We can do all the right things at the right time but nature always takes it's course. We tried for 12 months with Harry and now 6 months for #2. It can really take a toll on your relationship if both of youa re not in it together and wholeheartly.
I think both partner's stress about ttc and I know my DH is just as worried as I am that we can't conceive. But we are in it together and will be seeing Dr's together when we feel we need extra help.

Good luck with it all and come on over to the ttc threads. You can join either Jan one or the new Feb one.

[Shiny95]

Thankyou all so much.
Harry'smum you sound like you have a very supportive husband.
I will head over and join the TTC thread - i've printed off all the abbreviations so i can join in and keep up with everyone.

[Shajbm]

shiny,

That's a great due date...Jake my son was born on the 2nd of May 2003.

[Shajbm]

ooops sorry I meant cosmic....

Shiny...Good luck

[H&B'sMum]

Yesa Shiny95 I have a very supportive DH but he wasn't always like that. When we started ttc Harry he really wasn't interested but I think that came froma lack of understanding the whole process (I mean there more to it than just bding!!!) and being scared of the whole thing. After going through it for so long with Harry he totally understands now and we both lean on each other a lot to deal with the emotionally side everything. He understands that I get upset every month when AF arrives and he helps me as much as he can. For us it was a matter of allowing him to gain information when he was ready to receive it and he is now so excited about being a daddy again, when it happens. He's also a lot more aware of the technicialities behind the whole baby making stuff too.

I slowly gave him information or left articles, printed off the net around or would suggest that he'd might like to read this or that. Stuff like that.

Good luck with it all.