Reactions to pregnancy news

[chickaboo]

I'm first time pregnant at age 36 years and don't know many friends who have had babies recently. I've been with my partner for 3 years, though not married.
I've only been in my current job for 6 months, but because I am in public service will be entittled to MAT leave in October . (I'm due 17 November).

What I can't believe is how many people have reacted with: "oh...was that planned"

Is this a normal question from people?

I thought people would say that's great, congratulations when are you due? But instead the reaction seems surprised/negative. Even my own mother said...'well...as long as you are happy'
Luckily my boss and partner has been very supportive especially over the last few weeks with my MS.

Anyone?
Cheers, Lemonsorbet

[Faithie]

I know the "was that planned" question all to well. My 1st child wasn't planned as i was told that i would never have kids rather i like to think of him as a miricle, but still even the people who knew what i had been told asked the question. Than i got the abortion line as i was only 19.

You should of seen the look on their faces when i told them i was pregga's with no:2 even though after our first son was born we stated that we wanted our children to be close together.

Now pregnant with no:3 i feel like going crazy every time i gewt asked that question, being young strangers often ask me if its the same father as my other 2.... I have a wedding ring on my finger for a reason

Anyways i think it's as commen as total strangers wanting to touch your tummy as it grows.

But at the end of theb day who cares what they say you have the most amazing gift on the way make the best of every moment.

[melbryan]

I am having #3 and wow I have had some comments too but I really don't care we are both happy and so excited to have this baby and know it will be loved, I am due in NOvember ours are 3 yrs apart, but hey we look after them and pay for them so I don't see why it should bother anyone else.

[Vespera]

Oh yeah its a common question and even better is when you say yes they then say 'but you didnt tell us' hmmm I didnt tell you I was having unprotected sex with my husband? How remiss of me!

[Lastcenturymum]

Oh yeah its a common question and even better is when you say yes they then say 'but you didnt tell us' hmmm I didnt tell you I was having unprotected sex with my husband? How remiss of me!

:laughing: :laughing: You hussy!! :rolleyes:

lemonsorbet, HOW RUDE are some people.

We asked friends if we could borrow their babies name book (our way of telling them as we were last in our group to get pregnant) and they guy said, 'are you getting a dog?':banghead:


We rang our parents and shared the news, couldn't understand why they didn't jump for joy...3 kids later we kinda understand!!! But wouldn't be without them for anything.

I think sometimes people don't know what to say so say the first thing that comes into their head - not always the right thing!

[salt water]

We haven't told anyone yet (hmm wonder if I can keep it that way till November) but I am expecting a lot of this :eek: and some of this :confused: and probably not much of this :thumbsup:

I am 40 this year, we had a baby last year (after a 6 yr age gap) and there was A LOT of this :eek:

But who cares!!

[Shana]

I haven't told all my friends either but some I have told, asked if it was planned. This amazes me as my Dh and I have been together for 14 yrs! Married for 7yrs and I love kids.
I think they just can't believe I did not tell them we were TTC therefore it must have been an accident.
I didn't even tell any family members for two reasons - 1) It's Private!! and 2) to avoid the recurring 'are you pg yet?'
I would have kept our BFP quiet also but I got too sick and everyone guessed. :(

[Kittylou]

People can be so unbelievably rude!!!

I haven't had any comments like that this time as pretty much everyone knew we were planning to have another one this year. It happened a little earlier than expected though so we didn't have to go through any of the "are you pregnant yet??" questions.

Last time, though, which was completely unplanned, I got a bit of negativity. My Dad was the only person in my family to actually react badly but he very quickly came around and now openly acknowledges that DS is the best thing that could ever have happened to me.

Actually, although I haven't had any negative comments this time, I've been a bit disappointed about the lack of excitement from family (particularly given last time was met with a "well, it's happened so let's make the best of it" kind of attitude. Two of my friends are due around the same time as me with their first and their families are over the moon whereas mine is pretty relaxed about it. I guess because it's my 2nd and the 7th grandchild.

[Kizmet]

people can be so rude!

We havent had any bad comments this time but had our fair share the first time around. This time we made it clear we want to be surrounded by positivity and no negative comments and just remove ourselves from any negative situations. It often ends up that we look like we're in the wrong as we dont defend ourselves and our choices but we just dont want the hassle and stress. IMO people are going to think whatever they want any way so there is no point us stressing out over them :thumbsup:

[kaybee]

We haven't told many people yet just our immediate family and my best friend. We told them at 14-15 weeks and there has been the "why didn't you tell us you were trying" I should have thought of Vespera's comment, love it!!

We are telling our group of friends tomorrow night as we are all getting together. Will be interesting to see the reactions. I think some of them have been suspicious as last time we were together I wasn't drinking and they were looking at me funny.

[Lozie]

i got that whole line everytime i've been pg. Or are u nuts or something else. Not we didnt plan Jacy, neither did we plan caleb but yes this one was planned, I havnt told anyone it was planned tho dunno why but when i told my uncle i was pg again he told me i should keep my legs closed:eek::mad: And when i told my dad about jacy he offered to pay for an abortion, i was 17 and had been with Dh 3 months he wasnt planned but he chose us so i couldnt get rid of him. People annoy me with their comments, they say nothing now cause i abused my uncle after he said that to me now no one is game enough to say anything:D

[Vespera]

We are telling our group of friends tomorrow night as we are all getting together. Will be interesting to see the reactions. I think some of them have been suspicious as last time we were together I wasn't drinking and they were looking at me funny.

So what happened?

[kaybee]

Everyone was very excited and happy for us! I couple of the girls were like "I Knew it!!".

I think because we are one of the last couples to have a bub and a couple of the others are planning to start soon for their second so they are all pro-procreation in our group! Also probably because we are over 30, it mostly, "it's about time!" if anything!

[EcstaticEm]

We have been trying so long no-one asked if it was planned (thank god, I would have hormonally slapped them!) But we have had the "oh, no wonder your high risk for Downs at your age" OMG!!!! I'll be 31 when Beany is Born, and very much hoping he wont be our last.
Huge Hugs to you ladies who have had mean/not excited reactions.
I AM EXCITED FOR YOU!!!!

[Merlion]

Just ignore them. If you are happy and baby is happy and partner is happy why should they be rude and make comments like that.

I had similar comments after DS was born. The classic one was "oh you have one of each I guess you are going to stop having more........" :mad: (my mum especially). I thought who gives them the right its our decision if we have more

[Milliner]

I never had that question with DS but I get it all the time with this pregnancy. It's not anyone's business if it was planned or not, I think it's very rude to ask.

People should just be happy for us.