Am i just over reacting? (long Vent)

[sunnyflower]

Yesterday my son's preschool teacher asked to see me after school.I have had after school chats before about some behavioural issues with my son,with no dramas.

I walked into the room (there were children still in the room and other parents milling around) and smiled at my son and said hello to him.Immediately the teacher said no don't do that inferring that he had been naughty, don't talk to him.I though WTF and instantly was irritated.The teacher was very angry and stated to me that my son had yelled at her (once) during the day and stated that there had been other issues (not specified).Then she was silent and looked at me as though i was supposed to justify this behaviour or something.I immediately said well what action did you take ,did u give him time out,that is what he recieves at home,i don't condone that behaviour.She said no,if he was to receive time out every time he was innappropriate he would have been there all day.I just shrugged my shoulders as if to say well if that's what if deserved...........I then walked away from her and left with my son.I was really angry because...

she chose a time where there was others around to discuss this with me
she told me not to address my son like i was her pupil
she was very angry even telling me i don't like being yelled at by a five year old
she blew the whole matter out of proportion
she didn't adress the issue with him and expected me to have an answer for his behaviour when i got there
i felt like she was basically telling me that i was a bad parent

do you guys think i am justified in feeling angry ,i think she was very unprofessional in the way she dealt with this situation,both with my son and with me.

[motherlylove]

i would go to the principal and discuss her behaviour totally inapproriate

[TwoBoysOnly]

Justified. I would have done the same thing. Speak to your son at home try and find out why he is misbehaving and instill a rewards system - worked really well with mine - no behaviour problems for a Term or so now :fingerscrossed:

[*Chels*]

Yes that was very unprofessional,and I would be annoyed.The fact that she told you off for talking to your own child is unacceptable.
I would be laying a complaint!

[kiah]

She sounds a bit unprofessional.

Also for a teacher of such small children maybe her expectations are a little too high? She doesn't sound very positive. And if that's how she's talking about your child to you in front of others and expesh in front of him. What is she saying when you are not around?

Not good.:no:

[Billy]

i would go to the principal and discuss her behaviour totally inapproriate


I agree. She was totally inappropriate :thumbsdown:

[Ruby Slippers]

i would go to the principal and discuss her behaviour totally inapproriate

I Agree :thumbsup:

[Tam-I-Am]

Firstly, yes, I agree with you and the others - from what you've said, this teacher's behaviour was completely unacceptable on many fronts. If she doesn't discipline the children in her class, she can't expect them to behave with her (children learn very quickly that what's not acceptable in one situation - ie home - is fine in another - ie school).

Talking to you with other kids/parents around is NOT ON.

Telling you how and when you may interact with your own child is NOT ON.

But I disagree with the others that you should go over her head, I think that you should go speak to her directly about your concerns, and THEN go to the principal if you get no satisfaction from her.

JMO

[OJandMe]

Very unprofessional!

I'm a teacher and would NEVER address a behavioural issue this way!

And not only that... but if she doesn't have a workable behaviour management plan in her classroom that's something which is HER issue, not yours!

She needs to seriously rethink her behaviour strategy...

If I have a continually disruptive child in my class.. I follow our behaviour management procedure.. regardless of how many times I have to do it!!

Not on. :shame: on the teacher!

[Rachael]

Go to the principal

[Ana Gram]

That is not cool. Definitely take it further.

[whatwasithinking]

She should have time out herself! That was totally inappropriate and RUDE!!

Go to the principal/director immediatly!

[brookeme]

Talk to her first for sure and express how you feel and if you dont get a sincere explanation and a guarenteed improvement in HER :shame: behavior, then go further with it.She is definately not in the right job and I really cant imagine a five year old being THAT insulting. If only all five year olds behaved perfectly everyday then working in childcare would be so much easier!!!!:laughing:

[daytime-tv-addict]

Sounds like she acted like a 5 year old! I would not accept the way she spoke to you and would make a complaint to the principal. Obviously she has other pent up issues and is using your son as a venting tool.

[sunnyflower]

hello everybody,

thank you for your replies:smiliedance: .i saw the teacher this morning and she didn't say anything to me.

yesterday i wrote her a letter being very specific and adressed all the issuse i was unhappy with.i gave the letter to her this morning.my favourite part was when i said 'you will never dictate to me when and how i engage with my son','you totally overstepped your boundaries'.

i wonder what she will do now?

[Elfin]

It will interesting to see what her response is:yes:

There are a number of things I think you had the right to be upset about and like you no one will ever dictate to me how I greet my child.

But in all honesty what does she expect you to do:confused: Fair enough letting you know about the problems but she needs to take responsibility for discipline in her class, she needs to have some sort of strategy in place to deal with poor behaviour and it does sound like her expectations are a bit unrealistic.

If your son plays up at school then it doesn't seem fair that he gets punished at home too, a bit of a double whammy. So apart from talking to your son about his behaviour, the teacher needs to manage it (provided there are no unidentified medical problems present) and discipline him when something happens.

[SorenLorensen]

:yelclap: good on you, i would have been ticked off big time as well.

i hope she has something to say to you along the lines of a huge apology.

who is she to tell you not to say hello to YOUR son.

if she acts like this im thinking good on your son for yelling at her, maby she needs a few more kids to yell at her and make her grow up

[sunnyflower]

well i saw the teacher this morning and she totally ignored me......
if she doesn't apologise i am going to be really mad and then i will just ignore her and only go through the other teachers...

[sunnyflower]

saw the teacher yestersay,she apologised if she came across that way and said that she had handed my letter to the principal and they both discussed my son and now he has to see the school psych and they are going to organise some behavioural management strategies.

a bit surprised he has to see the psych but she said she can't control him and the class all at once...i can control him.!!:rolleyes:

[sunnyflower]

silly teacher has done it again..............
Yesterday I was on parent duty at the school AND IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY!!
The teacher said i have to see you,i literally groaned inwardly and my stomach knotted up.She said "i've had a complaint about your son from another parent,your son told this little boy that he was rubbish and should be put in the bin.The teacher told the parent that she would discuss it with me.She didn't tell me my son had already been disciplined over it so i went out and tried to discuss it with my little boy who promptly burst into tears and said he had aleady apologised.Then the teacher takes my little boy into the classroom and was telling him off again about who knows what.I went into the room as my son was calling out mummy,i said what is going on now,she said i am just talking to him.

WTF,am i seriously demented or what,I was really upset,it spoiled my whole day,i lay awake for hours ,i really despise this stupid woman,i want to take my son out but he says he doesn't want to go.

What sort of mother complains to the teacher over one remark (there has been no other incidents between these boys as far as i know.)

What sort of teacher tells the mother of a pathetic incident without bother:banghead: ing to inform the mother that the child has been disciplined?

What sort of teacher drags the child in for another round (with the mother in the schoolyard).

Is it just me,this woman is driving me crazy,i am to the point when i will yell at her what a stupid ***** she is and that is not me at all?

What would you do?

[Angelmist♥]

Oooh I would be furious! It sounds to me like she really has it in for your son:confused:

I mean seriously "you are rubbish and we should put you in the bin"..........umm huh???? All kids say silly things like that especially in preschool!A comment like that certainly doesn't warrant her actions.

[Lollie86]

Wow! It sounds like she really has it in for your son and you!

Just read the whole thread and at first I thought sort it out with the teacher before taking it to the principle but now it sounds like she is just targetting your son for petty reasons.

Kids say silly things all the time and as long as he apologised I dont see why she made such a big deal about it. As long as he knows that what he did was wrong then that should be the end of it.

I say take it to the principle. She obviously has no respect for you and is acting completely unprofessional!