View Full Version : Lifting a todder after c/s
I am 22 weeks pg with my 2nd, and am planning an elective c/s (my DS was born via caesar at 31 weeks due to PROM), and I found the procedure and recovery okay - helped by the fact my DS was fine and home 22 days later.
My only concern this time around is that I will not be able to lift or carry my DS (19mo and about 15kg now :rolleyes:), and this will make him resent the new bubba. Am I being paranoid :o or has anyone had a similar experience that they could share with me positive or negative .....
He won't resent the baby - just explain to him (even though it will probably be hard to explain something to a 19mth old).
Just give him heaps of cuddles when sitting down. That's what I did. (but my DD#1 was 3yrs old)
You will be fine - there are other things you can do with bubs mark 1 to show your affection and love.
Don't worry, you'll be fine.....
My DD1 was 2 yrs 1 mth when DD2 was born, and i wasn't supposed to lift her but i did occassionally....I certainly don't recommend it unless necessary...which it was for me as my DH works away alot and couldn't take time off...sorry for the rant there! :o LOL , but the odd lift didn't seem to bother me much.
There are other things you can do with DS, like sitting and reading with him and playing...depending on how you are feeling you could probably still have him sitting on your lap for cuddles? I did that with DD1, but i recovered quickly i found....my wound only hurt when i stood up or pressed firmly....and i just positioned her on my lap so that she wasn't directly on my scar.
Your DS will be fine....its only for a few weeks after all.......Good Luck with everything!
Thomas is our only bundle of joys at the moment, so pardon me if my suggestion is nowhere near good. Based from my sis who had 4 kids, you shouldnt worry too much about the fact that you "might not" be able to lift your toddler up for a while, but hey you can always get down to him and give him lots of hugs and tell him how much you love him :) :) :), it did magic to my sister kids, no jealousy and resentments around! :)
I had 21 months between my two and if i needed to lift Bella I made sure that she climbed onto a chair so that I didn't have to bend to get her.
I found that I was much better after my second c/section and was up and down off the floor playing with Bella the next morning ... I found that my recovery was much easier which was great as I had moved to a rural town and had to drive over 100km on day 5 to get groceries! My midwives were shocked when I drove myself to the hospital on day 4 to have Dan checked! I only stayed in hospital for 3 days after the birth and was only there that long because it was a public holiday and shops were closed and I had to buy a breast pump on the way home (1 ½ hours drive).
Bella never resented Daniel ... I would spend as much time as possible with her while Dan slept and would only have a sleep myself when she was ready for a rest. I let my housework go and focussed on the important things like making her feel that she still had my attention and love and involving her with doing things for Daniel. At 21 months she was old enough to ask for a nappy to be brought to me, to find a baby blanket and to help wind the mobile over Daniel's cot. She did, however, take her "helping" a little too far one day and tried to put him in his baby capsule at 9 days old. She was only 9kg herself and Daniel was 6kg ... end result - one baby landing on his head in the capsule (perfectly fine after a cuddle) and one incredibly distraught big sister who thought she had really hurt him!
Bella and Daniel are now the absolute best of friends and now that Dan is nearly 3 they have a lot of fun playing elaborate imagination games together. I know that they will miss each other when Bella goes to school in a couple of weeks ... Dan hardly coped when she went to pre-school two days a week last year!
I'm sure that all will go well ... there is no reason for your little man to miss out on cuddles and affection just because a new bub is on the scene ... just start training him now to stand on a chair or step if he wants you to pick him up and it will be second nature to do this when bub comes. Also, make sure that there are times when you tell him that he is a big boy and that you can't pick him up just yet ... he will get used to waiting a bit (make sure that you don't leave it too long though - only a couple of minutes max!) and will have the knowledge that you will pick him up in a minute ... guaranteed!
PS. You still have time ... why not put aside $10 or so a week towards hiring a cleaner to do bathrooms and vacuuming etc for the first couple of weeks you are home and getting settled in ... I have friends who did this when they came home with number two and it gave her so much more time to spend with their firstborn ... just an idea!
I also have 20 months bewteen my two cherubs and I found that getting my son to jump up onto a stool and on a step to reach up to mum was a little achievement for him and a BIG help for me.
I started when I was about 7 months preg telling him that I wasn't going to be able to carry him around everywhere cos he was a BIG boy now and a BIG brother soon and only babies need to be carried. I had an emergency c-sect and that was the first thing I thought about after the operation (but I can't carry or lift him) and believe me more out of habit did I reach over to pick him up than him actually wanting to be picked up.
He has loved his baby sister from day 1 but unlike Bella, my boy REFUSED to get the nappies for me ... said he was a big brother so HE would stay with bub. I did alot of crawling around on the floor with him following behind for the first few weeks til he got used to Mummy being sore and not being allowed pick him up. Also I found that when he got TOOOOO whingy I only had to show him my sore whereby he blew me a kiss and hugged my legs instead before happily running off to play.
Thanks so much for your responses - its great to hear how others have got through similar experiences. Kyra - your suggestion re DS climbing on a chair to be picked up is great - I'll start that from tomorrow :)
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