TTC Is Not A Fair Game :(

[wantabub]

I am to the point now, I am so wanting to have children with my partner, and find that each AF that comes, makes me another month away from hopefully having a bundle of joy in my life....

Why am I craving for this so much?

I have these wild thoughts coming into my head about wanting to sleep with another man, just to see if it my partner (my partner refuses to get checks done on his member, unless it is nearly falling off) which puts me in a hard place ! I feel I am mentally torturing myslef with this wanting a baby stuff! I try not to think about it so much, but every where I look, I see happy families, and think to my self WHY GOD WHY NOT ME??

I see babies/chicldren and it makes me sad, I go into denial that I want kids, and then dissapoint myself even more!

Something in my life is missing, I dont know what it is, but I really need to find something to do!

I even get disgruntled being around children, I dont want to *like* them to much as I feel that I will never have one that I can make with my partner ... as stupid as it sounds, it is true!

I am almost breaking out into tears while I write this... I dont know what is wrong with me but GOD, PLEASE HELP ME!!

_ end of rant _

can any one offer suggestions to my very difficult problem? if not I think I just need :hugs: right now :(

Thanks for listening!

[♥Heaven Sent♥]

Hi there,
It took me 8 months to conceive dd and it was a hard time cause like you i wanted a baby really bad too,i tried so hard every month every day we dtd and it was making us both so tired.

I done my research and read alot of stuff on increasing fertility in men and women i came across a handy little chart thing and it calculated my chart to make sure i can pinpoint when i o,because i was having long cycles i didnt know when i o'd.I had tests done on myself and it said that i was ovulating,and df had tests on his sperm and it came back that he had slow sperm.

I came across the chart and the next month i was pregnant,we dtd on the days it said to and wallah i was preggas.

I have pm'd the chart website to you.

Big hugs i hope you get your bubba soon :)

[Bumble]

i have nothing helpful to add but just wanted to send a few :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: good luck to you i will keep my fingers and toes crossed for you:fingerscrossed:
xx jodie

[wantabub]

thank you so much! As you can tell, it is really bothering me that I can not fall pregnant, I mean is is 1 am in the morning :(

I downloaded the program that you reccomended, looks really good! I am going to have to wait until I get me AF to calculate it properly!

My nipples are burning, but then again, it is just AF coming along!

I have been thinking that, I am longing for a child so much most likely due to having an abortion when I was much younger... and I feel that this is god's way of punishing me!

Thanks for the hugs and kisses

[♥Heaven Sent♥]

thank you so much! As you can tell, it is really bothering me that I can not fall pregnant, I mean is is 1 am in the morning :(

I downloaded the program that you reccomended, looks really good! I am going to have to wait until I get me AF to calculate it properly!

My nipples are burning, but then again, it is just AF coming along!

I have been thinking that, I am longing for a child so much most likely due to having an abortion when I was much younger... and I feel that this is god's way of punishing me!

Thanks for the hugs and kisses
Dont be so silly,it is not god punishing you.

Just remember the saying 'good things come to those who wait'

You will get a baby when god thinks you are ready for one.

Also have you considered getting a psychic reading?I got one when i was ttc to put my mind at ease they told me when i was going to have a baby and they were ringht ;)

[bronny-jane]

conceiving a baby is so hard.... blame shouldnt come into it though, even though me and dh know we are capable of conceiving it took as over a year to conceive dd1..... and our recent pg was after months of unprotected sex... the difference was this month, i wasnt worried about conceiving a baby...i was almost given up on the idea...

maybe you both need to go on a nice trip away...and forget about "trying"..... just enjoy each other.... it'll happen when you least expect it too:D

good luck it'll happen

[luckymama]

i know exactly what you are going through, we tried for 14 months to concieve, then had a m/c then concieved next cycle after the m/c. While TTC i had all the same thoughts as you running through my head, and i was trying to work out what i could have possibly done to deserve this, you should read my TTC diary, i was a mad woman, i nearly lost it so many times. For me i just had to keep on going, i also needed to lose some weight which i know is what helped me, i was in denial about that nearly the entire time of TTC though. I really hope you get your BFP soon :hugs:

[EmsMum72]

For me i just had to keep on going, i also needed to lose some weight which i know is what helped me, i was in denial about that nearly the entire time of TTC though. I really hope you get your BFP soon :hugs:

It took my 12 months to conceive my DD and just like miracle I needed to lose some weight (12kgs I lost). We got married in November '03 and I'd practically given up the idea of having kids because nothing had happened in the past 12 months, I was so upset, and somehow I managed to fill my life with other things (gym, work, hubby etc), then one morning in May '04 I woke up and said to my DH 'i feel like a banana split' (for breakfast, LOL) off to the dr we went and sure enough I was 9 weeks pregnant. I'd love to say to you be patient, try not to think about it, but I know how hard that is because we'be been TTC#2 for 2 years (we did fall pregnant early this year but I miscarried) so we're back to the drawing board. Best of luck to you :hugs: , :fingerscrossed: we all get the :bfp: 's we so desperately want this year.

HeavenScent, can you pls pm me that chart you were talking about for TTC. Thanks heaps!

[HelenHasTwins]

All I can say is I know how you feel:hugs:

You will get alot of support in here.....please don't feel as if you need to sleep with another man to see if you can get pregnant...that's not the answer darl......maybe sit down and tell your DH how this is affecting you and how much you want it, and that he needs to go for a test as well as you get all the tests you need.....

It took my DH a while to go and get his swimmers tested and In the end they were fine, it was me that had twisted tubes which they could only find out with a Laparoscopy operation.....so I suggest you go and see a FS....

Take care

Helen

[Aquamarine]

It took us over 12 months to conceive DS1 and it was very difficult. DS2 and DS3 were conceived first time.

Can I make a suggestion to you?

You don't have to do this if you don't want to but can I suggest you watching or reading 'The Secret'

Not sure if you have heard of it, but it uses the 'Law of Attraction' to get whatever you want.

Making a Vision Board helps to. Just picturing yourself with your baby and feeling the emotions of saying thankyou to the universe for what you do have, then brings more and more happiness.:yes:

Using your energy to be sad, or frustrated etc then manifests more and more of the same thing.

I wish I knew about this when we were trying to conceive DS1 as it would have been so much easier and offered so much more hope.

Anyhow, good luck with it all, keep positive and the universe should bring you all the answers you need.

Peace!

[Femme la Phoenix]

:hugs: it isn't fair
this cycle I gave up on having a baby
I don't know the verdict yet...still waiting
But, I am sick of it, we both are
in order to get started on FSH injections
we have to see a IVF specialist and I
shut-down after that...gave up on the cycle,
having a baby and talked about plans to
return to work and it's still my plan regardless of
what happens in the following weeks.

I am not putting my life on hold a moment longer

[My3Boyz]

We were like every couple thinking that it would be easy to conceive. We were young, healthy and happy. So having a baby would be a piece of cake. BOY WERE WE WRONG....it took us 2 years all up to finally get our little IVF miracle. I'm currently in my second trimester and hoping everything will go smoothly.

I can understand your frustration, stress, anger, bewilderment and sadness. I went through all that and more. Ofcourse DH's family telling me that my biological clock was ticking and constantly asking me when it would be my turn just added to my woes. Not to mention that his family was undergoing a baby boom, and every one of his cousins or aunts of child bearing age was pregnant!!! I felt crushed every time another one of his cousins was pregnant and I wasn't.

TTC was the most stressful thing that I have ever had to do...all those questions of why me??? whats wrong with me??? will I be able to even get pregnant???? I kept on thinking that throughout the whole TTC period. It was also taking a toll on my happiness and DH and I started talking about adoption incase I wasn't able to conceive. We finally sought prefessional help and after 6 months of injections trying IUI and then IVF we finally got the wonderfull call that I was pregnant!

My advice is don't give up hope. Speak to your partner and try to make him come around. Maybe he is worried that the problem will be him and that is why he doesn't want to get tested. I am wishing you the best of luck during you period of ttc, you are by no means alone. Don't doubt yourself like I did and don't think that its God's way of punishing you. Sleeping with someone else is not the answer either. Wishing you the best of luck and sending BIG HUGS :hugs: your way. I know what you are going through.

[RoarsomeMum]

I am to the point now, I am so wanting to have children with my partner, and find that each AF that comes, makes me another month away from hopefully having a bundle of joy in my life....

Why am I craving for this so much?

I have these wild thoughts coming into my head about wanting to sleep with another man, just to see if it my partner (my partner refuses to get checks done on his member, unless it is nearly falling off) which puts me in a hard place ! I feel I am mentally torturing myslef with this wanting a baby stuff! I try not to think about it so much, but every where I look, I see happy families, and think to my self WHY GOD WHY NOT ME??

I see babies/chicldren and it makes me sad, I go into denial that I want kids, and then dissapoint myself even more!

Something in my life is missing, I dont know what it is, but I really need to find something to do!

I even get disgruntled being around children, I dont want to *like* them to much as I feel that I will never have one that I can make with my partner ... as stupid as it sounds, it is true!

I am almost breaking out into tears while I write this... I dont know what is wrong with me but GOD, PLEASE HELP ME!!

_ end of rant _

can any one offer suggestions to my very difficult problem? if not I think I just need right now

Thanks for listening!

:hugs: :hugs: Hon.. It is a bloody hard journey..
The only advise I would give is to really talk to your partner.. Chris took a long time ot get "checked" I had to really open up and say, "I want this, I need this, I need to know why we are not getting our BFP.. I need it to be happy and complete within myself" It took a real heart to heart for him to understand..

2 months after his test came back, we go our BFP.. I really think that knowing we were "on our way" to finding any possible probs helped..

Sending loads of sticky baby dust your way.. :yes: :wizard:

[wantabub]

Thank you ladies! Definitely make me feel alot better today!

My partner is going o/s for a 10 day trip (family matters) but will give me a good time to think about things, and to decide what I should do about it! Will also offer me som 'me' time!

I will be giong to the doctors and requesting checks!

As I write this, my nipples are hurting, feeling heavy (no period pain yet) but I still have this thing in the back of my head saying 'your not pregnant, dont be stupid, it is just your AF coming'

Why is it that people who dont want babies get them and those of us (on here mostly) would love to have babies, yet it takes all sorts of methods to finally acheive :(

Thanks again!

[HelenHasTwins]

Why is it that people who dont want babies get them and those of us (on here mostly) would love to have babies, yet it takes all sorts of methods to finally acheive :(



If you find the answer for that please tell me:rolleyes:

[despseekbabe]

Wantabub - can i just suggest something? Please dont go get your hubby tested! well at least not unless you have tried properly for at least a year!
If you havent - say your hubbies sperm count is low, all they will tell u is to go home and keep trying for a year...meanwhile you will feel even worse each month and sex will feel even worse (more mechanical than ever)
Trust me - i have found this out the hard way - i was so stressed each month i thought i would feel better if i tested my husbands sperm. It actually came back Low! i was devastated and each month was worse than the next. Then they got us to repeat it and it was NORMAL. Mens sperm vary from month to month - and they only way to find out if a man is capable of fathering a baby is to keep trying for at least a year. If it doesnt happen in that time it is likely you will have problems - but not that its impossible, its never impossible - it may just take time.
As a couple you need to see whether you are fertile - and the only test is the tried and true method of - actually trying each month.
You know how some women have endometriosis and have children - even though it may take a bit longer? Well some men can have low sperm count and also have children - and it may just be a matter of waiting.
If your partner finds out he has a low count - he may find it difficult to even have sex with you - he may feel so bad about himself. DOnt risk his ego too soon - a man does need to feel good about himself in order to 'perform' and think of how **** you will feel if he cant get it up because i feels bad he has a low count - even though that may not make him infertile anyway!
Definitely get it done if you have been trying over a year - but otherwise dont because it will make ttc even harder than it is (i know thats hard to believe)

[wantabub]

we have been trying for over a year now, and nothing has happened :(

I plan to go to chart this month coming, and hopefully the BFP will occur, if not, I will be seeking tests from both sides!!

[despseekbabe]

ok - even if u have tried for over a year - remember the tests have limitations...like i said even if the sperm count is abnormal - it can still happen.
My friends mum was told her husband had a very low sperm count - it did take FOUR years but then she naturally had a baby boy. Two years later she fell preg with twin girls naturally! all natural!
so you never know - dont give up hope!

[despseekbabe]

oh and you know those wild fantasies of sleeping with other men? im glad to know im not the only one....
i keep thinking that - and then i start feeling like i will be punished just for thinking that!and its like ahtis horrible vicious cycle and i feel so miserable that other people dont seem to have the problems i have!

[wantabub]

Despseekbabe - I can totally relate to where you're coming from!

[despseekbabe]

I am on day one of my cycle. The ugly 'ho came to visit me this morning...:( feel so...as my name says...DESPERATE...
another cycle come and gone...
Where are u in your cycle? i hope u will not give up, u have to keep trying..
when are u going to see your doc? has your hubby agreed to have his swimmers tested?
Isnt it so unfair how other people just..yknow...do it...and get preggers straight away?? it can make u feel so alone hey?
let me know how your appointment goes...i will be thinking of u...
i cant believe there's another woman out there like me - imagining having wild one night stands around ovulation with any guy that looks remotely like my husband!!! Hahaha!

[wantabub]

hehe - you made me laugh! That is gold about the wild one night stands with guys who look like you DH!

I am waiting on my period to come! it should be here any day now, I didn't chart last month, however I do have a feeling it will be with in the next 24 - 48 hours. I have bloating, head-aches, sore breasts and tiredness (all symtoms of my AF, yet so similar to BFP!) Fingers crossed for the both of us!

Hehe back on to the 'wild one night stands' I had a dream that I had picked a close guy friend to have the one night stand with, when DH was talking to me in my sleep he says 'i love you' I said, 'thats good, keep driving' which is odd, seeing as I do 90% of the driving + I usually rely on my male friend to drive me when I am by myself :O lol! and the 2 are the same nationality :O I felt so dirty @ myself for dreaming about that as never in my wildest life could I do that to DH! ooo I hope no-one I know ever reads this forum :P

any other women on here have wild fantasies about having a fling?? lol!!

[despseekbabe]

HAHa - love that driving dream! thats funny...
You know - you sound so similar to me - i was starting to feel paranoid someone reading this would find out who i am....
thats the great thing about this site - you can just talk and let out your feelings without worrying about being judged!

You know - i wonder if im the only one who thinks 'just go already!' when BD'ing with my husband...I love him so much - he is so great, gentle and caring, but IF HE KNEW what i think about when we BD - OH! the SHAME! hahaha - he would be so cut!
I used to really love sex....hmm...now its just like "is this the time? please let it be this time!"
Am i the only one this evil?? Using my husband for his sperm!

[wantabub]

Nope, I am guilty as guilty can be!

I love making love with my man, his great! But sometimes I just think, hurry and up do your thing so I can hopefully get pregnant :P

Ohh... I am sooo naughty!
Lol