Baby No. 2,3,4...

[jakobsmum]

What are other people's experiences on age gaps between siblings? Did you plan the gap, or leave it to nature?

[Sharon]

I have 2 boys with 16 months between them. We always wanted them close, since the first one was easy we went for it. Now it is just starting to (in the last week - touch wood) get better. They are now 20 months and 4 months. You see and hear of lots of people having them close(r) together and no-one said it was hard. We found it difficult and it makes you feel like you are the only ones who can't cope. Anyway, I keep telling my husband its only short term pain and they will be best mates later on. I guess it depends on the nature of your children. If we have a 3rd it won't be for at least another 3 years.

[nyrrek]

I think that it is different for everyone, in their ability to cope with little ones close together or to deal with the varying interests / needs of children furthar apart. My four children are 9, 5.5, 2 and four months. I have had 3 + years between the first three (partly due to choice, partly due to fertlity!) I have had my number four only two years after number three, and have found it much more difficult. The biggest difficulty is dealing with a 2 year old and a newborn and the school / preschool run each day. In and out of the car, twice each day with a double pram and a toddler that can rival Houdini is not a lot of fun. A lot of people I know have found it easier having them under two years apart, rather than over two years apart. this means you are over the baby stage by the time the first goes to school. But, I am glad that my eldest two are at school (one five days & one five days a fortnight) to give me time to devote to the babies. My kids all get along pretty well at their ages, and we make sure to give them all one on one 'dates' with Mummy and Daddy. This works well for us. Organisation is the key, and a supportive husband and family. Good luck in your future family expansion.

[Hokey Pokey]

My girls have a 4 year gap and I would not want it any closer!

[michkelly]

7 years between my daughter and son due to fertility problems.
wanted them very close but i am very happy with how they are together. ;)

[jeanelle]

i have a boy who is 6 and a girl 6 months. i would say both have their ups and downs. :o

[michelle]

We always knew that we wanted to have a few children and the first 2 are 22months apart. I personally found it to be really good as you are still dealing with baby issues when you are pregnant and so aren't starting over so to speak. With this one (due in about 3 weeks) there will be a gap of 31months between No.2 and 3 as I had my hands full, but we are planning on having one more child within 2yrs after this one. So we will end up with 2 close in age - a good gap - and 2 close in age. It really just depends on your coping abilities but I think parenting is just one of those things that you get better at as you go along and so it becomes a little easier. It also depends on how many you want to have, if you only want say...2 kids, then that gives you a lot more time to have them in. My husband and I wanted to complete our family whilst we are still under 35 (I'm 29, he's 32), so that is what has suited us. But it's really a personal decision and just go with whatever feels right for you and your family.

[Dazza]

Hi , we had our 2 children 2yrs 3 mths apart we have a girl 4 and a boy 2. This seems to be a good gap as they do get along better now.It's just our young fella is hitting the terrible twos and that sems a whole new ball game lol. But all and all they get on just fine.

[Raylee]

Hi, I've got two girls 10 months apart (that bit was nature!) and a five year gap, then a boy and a girl 11months apart. I would have had 4 in four years if I'd had a choice!! I'm trying for number 5 and I wouldn't want more than 2 years apart but baby number 4 is 10 months now and we've been trying for 6 months with no luck as yet.

[Gemma]

Whoa, your game Raylee :eek:

[H&B'sMum]

Raylee,
I don't know whether you are mad or sane. You must be a very natural mother. Harry's 5 mths and I was like Gemma about a month ago wanting to be pregnant but I got over that quickly. I want Harry to be the centre of our lives for a little bit longer. We are planning to go again next year, this hopefully will mean about a 2 year gap which I think I can cope with. But each family has to decided what is best for them and no one else can decide that no matter what research is done into this subject. Good luck with everything Ryalee you domestic Goddess.

[jakobsmum]

I agree with you Karena. I want Jakob to be the centre of our attention too :) We are going to wait until he is at least 2 before we start trying :p

[babeno4]

i had my second and third 22 months apart and i found for the first year it was a bit hard, but after that it was and still is great they play together really well and we dont have that many fights :). im due to have baby #4 in 2 weeks and this gap is 3 years and 2 months which i like i dont think i could have done it again.


me 27
dh 38
dd 8
dd 5
dd 3
#4 edd 18/9/04

[gidget]

I am currently pregnant again (fate took control) and there will be 18 months between this one and my daughter. I am terrified. :eek: Why is it that people you talk too only dwell on the negative "Oh, you will find it hard!" Surely people know that people get worried about the unknown. I have had a dream run with my first daughter and hopefully that will continue. I think people should do what's right for them.

[razzle]

Hi Gidget

Well 'der' you'll find it hard! I'd tell them to get stuffed. When I was pregnant I found negativity everywhere - people love to do it! "Get used to having no sleep!!" or "The contractions'll kill you!" :rolleyes: Of course you're terrified - I would be too - but I'd be telling people that you need reassurance that it'll be OK - not melodramatic stories or lectures!! Besides - everyone knows that when you become a mother you also become superwoman - able to cope with any crisis armed with nothing but baby wipes, a dummy, and a chewable plastic book! :D

You'll be fine - enjoy the mayhem! :)

[NicoleBregmen]

:rolleyes:
Hi i have two wonderful children aged 2 and 3.. i have a 14 month gap between each child and i must be honest, it isn't easy however they are best friends. It is great to see them hold hands and play together BUT im not sure if i would have them this close if i had my time again. I also wonder if either child might be missing out when it comes to our attention.

[Taylor & Lachlans Mummy]

There is 13 months between Taylor & Lachlan :)

[kylied]

I have 3 years between my first and 2nd, then 4 years between my 2nd and third, and 2 and a half years between my 3rd and 4th, and 5 years between my 4th and my 5th. They were all planned that way other than #5, he was our little surprise baby, but im glad of having big gaps between my kids as i was able to cope much better that way, and enjoyed having the time i could devote to each one. All my children are at school now, except our 5th one, hes only 12 weeks old, and its so nice to be able to devote all my time during the day to him.

[Hokey Pokey]

I take back my first opinion lmao!

We are TTC number 3 now and our youngest is 21 months!

[mumoftwo]

I have a little girl 5 months and a boy 6 years, this was mainly due to the fact that I have seperated from my little boy's dad - I am happily married now though. I don't think I could have handled a closer gap. I am very happy to have had a lot of special time with my son and now a lot of special time with my daughter when my son is at school. My son is a huge help too, he always wants to help with his sister.
mumoftwo :)

[Sarah-j]

My three children are all 18months apart and my third will be 20 months when my fourth is born. I LOVE having them so close. They relate to each other, learn off each other, when one grows out of something it just goes to the next room ( no packing clothes away!!) They are great friends, it's very heart warming :)

[5cherubs]

we had 23mths between DD1 and DD2, then 23 mths again betwen DD2 and DD3, then there was 14mths between DD3 and DS1, and 18mths between DS1 and DS2, we found out we were preg again when DS2 was 6mths but we lost it so we are now waiting a little while before #6, maybe Jan /Feb.

I liked the 23mth age gap although we had been trying for a closer gap between 1 and 2, the 14mths is wonderful as they are so close (actually whenever I go anywhere I get stopped so people can look at my twins LOL) but I will say it was hard work as I had 2 in nappies at once and DD3 was still only a baby herself when I had DS1, when I had DS2 I had 3 in nappies so it was tiring but IO wouldn't have it any other way.

My eldest is 7 and youngest 10mths.

[Tracy]

I have a little one 17 months and am expecting my second in around 6 weeks...so there will be around 18months between them. I am a little nervous as I expect I will have my hands full....but am optimistic that in around 12 months my two should be great friends and hopefully play together well!

My son has a friend around 10 months older than him at the moment, and they play well. When they are together he does not need as much attention from myself and his Dad....so I can only hope this will be the same with my two down the track.

My only fear is because my first son was a breeze (textbook from Day One) that I may struggle if I have a child that is not quite so easy to get along with. But I don't expect it to be easy and so many people have been through it before I am sure I will get by!

[maverick2282]

My ds is 3 months at the moment and we're ttc #2. Hopefully as soon as possible.
I'd like them to be close in age. I think it'll be hard at first, but be a lot easier down the track.

My step children all have about 5 years between them, and the older two (15 and 10) fight like cats and dogs. They're getting a little better, but they still niggle at each other.

I had 3 years between myself and my brothers, and even that felt like too much. So hopefully there'll only be about 12 months between my two.

[ZAKA]

Hi,

My girls are 14 months apart and I think it is great Zoe is 18 months and Abigail 4 months. Zoe is very good with Abi and is rarely jelous. I think having them so close meant that she will always remember having Abi around and not remember a time when it was just her. I would love another already but have to convince my husband it is a good idea ;) . If we go the third I would like him or her to be close in age as well :) .

Katrina

[clairbear]

:confused: I have enjoyed reading all of your posts on this topic.....and it's obviously a very individual choice- when considering the age gap between kids. I am just about to turn 37, with a gorgeous 19mth old boy toddler. I ahve really enjoyed staying at home with him -apart from occasional bouts of cabin fever), and am excited to be going back to work one day a week this year, socialising more on my own and feeling more relaxed and confident as a parent as well as having more time out with my husband too.
I am feeling the pressure to have another bub soon...some of the pressure is internal but it is mostly external., ie. relatives, friends and acquaintances saying he needs a sibling, I'm not getting any younger, blah blah, blah. Three of my mothers' group mums are starting to try for number two now, and its tempting to jump on the bandwagon with them!
One minute I think I would love another baby ( have chosen names etc).......the next the idea of labour, sleepless nights, anxiety and depression (I suffered from it mildly I think due to the shock of being isolated at home all day for the first time as well as being a parent to a tiny helpless baby ...as do zillions of other mums) freaks me out. I KNOW I shouldn't listen to anybody else and the decision should be mine and my husband's alone, but our discussions go round and round .....one day he'll be gung ho to have another one and I'll be unsure....the next I will be definite about the idea and he'll be saying that maybe we're a great little family as we are. Any words of wisdom would be much appreciated! :eek:

[ZAKA]

Hi Clairbear,

I really don't think you are ever ready for a baby we just got married and a couple of months later went ok we want kids don't know how long it will take etc (my girlfriend took two years) went off the pill and two weeks later were pregnant. For number two I did not even get my cycle back, lucky we wanted them close maybe not quite that close but am happy with the outcome. Before number two I went back to work for 7 weeks to qualify for my next lot of maternity leave and I enjoyed working heaps. As I said to my husband if someone is annoying you at work you can leave the room but not when you have a baby following you around for attention, different kind of stress. One of my girlfriends in Darwin is a similar age with a little boy Benjamin who is two and had her second Toby last May. Toby has Down syndrome, this was not picked up in the testing (her doctor advised against an Amneo based on her test results). Not saying this to make you have a bub sooner rather than later but it is a consinderation. My girlfriend is considering number three and if she goes ahead will do so soon. I have another friend in Brisbane who is having number 2 at 35 and already has a 5 year old I think the biggest thing she is worried about is being past the whole baby thing as her little girls dresses herself gets her own breakfast etc now she will be back to changing nappies and no sleep she said maybe she should have gone back sooner when she was still in that frame of mind.
But at the end of the day it is up to you and hubby. Good luck I am still trying to convince mine three would be nice. Anyone with convincing arguments for three kids?????

Katrina

[StormAngel]

I think the choice is up to you, my first 3 kids were 2yrs between each and it was hard work, my 4th child was born 6yrs after the last one which i found good in that the others were able to lend a hand especially the 11yr old (poor kid he's the only boy). The only thing I found was that I didn't have as much patience.

[supamum]

We have 2 boys that are now aged 3 and almost 2 (15 months separating). I am due for our third child in 4&1/2 weeks. Our first was a easygoing baby, happy, slept through from 6 weeks, was toilet trained early, etc.. Our second has only just started to sleep through properly, isn't interested in the toilet, and is constantly into things. So due to this I'm glad that he is almost 2 and no younger to get a brother/sister. Luckily the boys are both starting to play together a lot more and they can entertain themselves safely (the eldest just dobs in the youngest)
But my opinion is closer is better.

[MissJo]

We have a 17 month old, and am due with number 2 in May (so another 15 weeks or so) - and it is so comforting to read that other mums have found the under 2 year gap manageable because i am terrified :eek: of having them close - even though we kind of planned it that way! I'm having all the usual worries of will i be able to devote so much time to my little boy when the new baby comes, will he become unsettled and difficult etc etc, but these are all things we will have to deal with when the time comes. I'm excited but very nervous, and it's good to know that other mums have been there, done that, and survived relatively unscathed!

[RuthK]

My DS and DD are 18 months apart and we're wanting a 3rd, which hopefully will be 21 months younger than my DD. I think as long as you don't ignore the older baby(ies), remain organised and keep somewhat to a routine and still make some time for yourself every week, you can handle any number of children. I work full time and although it was hard at first, I am now adapting.

I want at least 4 children! (funny coming from someone who was going to be a career woman and never get married and have babies!)

[possum]

I have 3 boys. 2 close together and then a 10yr gap.
The first two are 15mths apart, it was okaywhen they were young as they were both in nappies, both having bottles and both at daycare together...I suppose it was like raising twins. I was exhausted also...one would be running and the other would be crawling... :eek:
But now as they are in their teens, they just continually fight with each other, compete with each oh! I dont know if it is just a 'boy thing'. And it cost money for clothes as they are the same size so I cannot hand anything down...but hey, I would not swap them for the world. :D
Due to fertility probs, there is a 10yr age gap between my oldest and youngest.
I can honestly say, that I thoroughly enjoyed being pregnant with Matthew. I was of course a lot older and a lot wiser I suppose...I am sooo enjoying him now. I look back at the photos of my oldest holding their newborn brother and it brings tears to my eyes, just beautiful! Matthew is our little mircle and as I am now 47yrs old, he keeps me going...of course, his older brothers taunt and tease him, but for a little fellow he stands his ground.
As we are now more financially stable, we are really looking forward to travelling with him and just watching him grow. We are truly enjoying having to go all through it again.
There are pros and cons for having your chn close together just as there are pros and cons for having them far apart...it just depends on family situations I suppose...anyway, enjoy them. :rolleyes:
lol, Possum

[mama2four]

We have three kids aged 12 (G), 10 (G) and 8 (B) and I am 6 months pregnant with our 4th child. We always wanted one more but we put it off and changed our minds so many times that we didn't get around to it until now. The three big kids are great, don't get me wrong yes they do bicker and fight with each other but they are also a big help. I remember being so run off my feet when they were little, I am really looking forward to having this little one all to myself while they are at school. But I guarantee once they all get home I won't get a look in. I was 13 years old when my sister was born and she was the greatest addition to our family. I think it just depends on what works best for you. Our big kids are so involved with the pregnancy also and love to feel the movements and kicking. We can't wait!!

[Mumoffour]

my first two sons were 1 year and 4 days between. I was virtually a sole parent too which made it hard. I found whenever I sat down to feed bub the toddler would be off getting into mischief. :p They are great mates now though although when they fight its WW3! There is 8 years between them and my now almost 2 year old and then there will be about 26 months between them. I like the bigger age gap as it lets you recover from the first one.

[JodieG]

:p I have a 16 month gap between my first two girls and at the time it was exceptionally hectic as the toddler would need me at the same time as the baby so for the first two years it was so full on.(that and the fact that I was basically a single mum for most of the first 4 years) .. however now that they are older it is an absolute blessing as they are the best of friends and entertain each other, play together and generally love each other to death.

I have recently had my third daughter after a seven year break and it is so beautiful to be able to devote my daytime school hours entirely to her... I seem to love bathing her, feeding her and playing with her so much more than I did with the older girls as I have the time to devote entirely.

Both situations are so different, yet so unique, and yet I wouldn't have it any other way.. The older girls are so besotted with the new addition and are the best BIG sisters in the universe... I am truly blessed to have three such beautiful, different girls in my life. :)

[Bekster]

I have absolutely loved reading this thread. I'm a mum to Blayke (30/4/04) and due to a little girl on 27/4/05. Therefore best case scenario there will be 12mths b/t them.

Blayke, until recently, has been a breeze so I figured no problem for no. 2 but now doubts have crept in. The real concern is that the majority of parenting is left up to me cos dad works long hours to support us.

I wouldn't change my situation for the world though. Up with 1...hell why not 2!!!

Bekster

[Supermum]

hi there

We have two children fifteen months apart and we planned it that way. Actually we planned to have them closer together but wedding plans got in the way.

We had many people advise us to wait until bub number one was two.

Whilst initially it was more difficult, trying to breastfeed a newborn and deal with a rampant toddler at the same time, it's just like anything ... you get used to it.

Number one is now two and number two is 10 months. Our son, the two year old, is becoming quite protective of his little sister and as she was born when he was fifteen months, he can't remember a time when she wasn't around.

Yes I've found it challenging at times but I wouldn't change a thing. I think the gap between them is great.

Cheers,

[Sarah-Lee]

Hi, I have a little boy who is just 10 months, & we are just trying for our next one now We figured that way there would be about a year - year and half between them. My sister and I had a four year gap & while we are close now we hated each other when growing up! I want to try and have the gap a little closer with my kids so hopefully they will be closer. Reading some of these posts, I guess there is no right or wrong - its just personal preference! So back to trying!!! :)
Sarah X

[Bekster]

Well the best case scenario was 12mths. I'm happy to announce that Kaylah Renae was born on 18/3/05 6wks prem. Therefore there is only 10 1/2mths between her and her brother Blayke. I couldn't be happier!!!

[2under2]

Congratulations Beckster! I hope everything is good with her being prem - now you will really know you are alive! :p My bubs are 16 mths apart and I am finding it a bit tricky - but it gets easier every day! I am hoping they will be good friends and play together as they get older. :D

[mumof2girls]

My girls are 1 yr 11 months & 1 week apart and they have been really close all their lives (now aged 13 & 11) and we coped fine

My brothers children are 13 months apart and they get along great.

My brother and I are only 8 months apart (he's adopted then they found out I was on the way) my mum said it was hard as we were always at different levels all the time, I would sit he would crawl, I would crawl he would walk, but we have always been close as well.

It's an individual decision so just do what you think you can handle or what God gives you! :)

[blacktulips]

I have 4 kids and 40

21, 19, 15, 11,

Due in 5 weeks with a little boy so far everything is fine.

So what is the best age gap. When you fall pregnant :D

Sometimes you just have to go with the flow.

Cheers
Blacktulips