I'm just sick of it!

[EmsMum72]

I'm not even sure why I'm posting this today, I just feel 'all over the place'. I had a miscarriage 7 weeks ago and haven't had an AF yet. This might sound strange because I want another child so badly, but I'm sick of wanting a baby, I'm sick of waiting for the right time of month to try, I'm sick of waiting for AF to arrive, I'm sick of thinking about getting pregnant again all the time. Why can't it just happen, I've been patient :gloomy: , I've lost weight, I watch what I eat, I've quit smoking. Ggrrrrr! My DH has been great but even when we do some BDing I can't get into it, and feel like crying. It's just all consuming! I keep telling mysef, just chill out and stop thinking about it (cause that's when I'll fall pregnant, I know it), but I can't! If I don't think about it, then I might miss the small window of opportunity that I have each month and I'll have to wait another month TTC. I'm just so frustrated! Anyone else in the same boat??

[Eloise&Charlie'sMum]

I know exactly how you feel...TTC can really consume your whole being !!! I hit the wall so to speak about a month ago (6 cycles later of TTC). I only Just got AF back myself at the start of May (my last one was Dec), I think that also bought me some relief.

For me to get my head back to where it needed to be came down to simple accupunture treatment...it totally relaxes me and refreshes me...I am really trying to focus on the bub I have already got and not the next one that i wwant to add to the family.

It all so hard and I really feel for you especailly after your loss:hugs: :hugs: .
There are so many of us that are going through or have gone through what you are descibing now so please dont feel alone:hugs: :hugs: .

I try to focus on the fact that it will happen not when it will happen !!!

Hope you feel better soon EmsMum

[rynosmum]

Yep. Sure am.

When I fell pregnant, I was still debating whether it was the right time. From the start, I felt so nervous about the pregnancy and didn't want to announce it. When I did, I came to realise that the timing, everything was perfect.

Now after our loss, I am frustrated too.

Frustrated because I have no idea where my cycle is up to, frustrated because I'm getting older and I just don't know where I'm at - I don't have forevver, the timing was perfect and now I'm leaving it too late, I should have started planning our 2nd a year ago, my friends are all getting pregnant again but I'm not, there are constant reminders of what we have lost. I put on 3 kgs with the pregnancy that I can't lose so I don't fit into my old clothes properly but I'm not pregnant......ugh

I could go on but my simple answer is Yes. I feel that way too....I just so desperately want to be pregnant again - it's just not that easy for some of us.:(

[RoarsomeMum]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: 's Ems mum.. Its so hard, the waiting, the wanting, the losing.. the journey can be heartbreaking.. I wish I could offer more than :hugs:'s But I hope they help anyway.
Sending mega fertile (and wait free) bubba dust your way.

[natasha]

I can't imagine how frustrating and upsetting it is....but I just wanted to give you a few of these hun....:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[susmamma]

I think a bit of practical advice is what is called for.
The only way you can replace "thinking" (about baby all the time) is by either learning how not to think "mediation" or by thinking about something else.
Both are excellent sources to stop thinking about babies.
I know how baby crazy those thoughts can be and how they can take up every blinkn spare minute!!!
So I'd suggest this.
Go and do a course.
Scriptwriting, drawing, pottery, car maitanence, anything you're interested in but havent gotten around to studying. Photography, learn a language.
Also the "no thinking" thing can be quite helpful too. Maybe join a meditation class.
Maybe do a yoga class.
Get BUSY!!!
The more you fill your life with the less you'll feel the baby is a void stopping you from being happy. BE HAPPY in yourself first. Relying on another enity (boyfriend, husband, friend, baby) to make you happy is a futile path. Get happy because you derserve to be happy being you with all you are and have to offer without the baby having to complete you.
I tell ya. It worked for me.
Lots of love and big hugs. You can change this just by making the decision to. I know, it really is that simple. Try it xx

[rynosmum]

The more you fill your life with the less you'll feel the baby is a void stopping you from being happy. BE HAPPY in yourself first. Relying on another enity (boyfriend, husband, friend, baby) to make you happy is a futile path. Get happy because you derserve to be happy being you with all you are and have to offer without the baby having to complete you.

I understand what you are saying in a general life perspective but must say that I personally would disagree.

I don't believe that it is simply the yearning for a child to 'complete' her that that the OP is looking for in this instance. I'm not sure if you have ever lost a baby pre-term before, had it pass away within you after seeing it jumping around actively on previous ultrasounds. It is indeed a true loss and perhaps hard to understand if you have not experienced before.

In the OP's defence I work full-time in a corporate job including travelling for work. In my spare time I spend time with my son and husband. moderate this forum, am currently painting the interior of our home as well as other commitments. My life is indeed full but I want another baby. No amount of activities change the thoughts you have when your mind starts to wander or you see another pregnant Mummy with a beautifully rounded tummy when yours no longer looks that way.

I'm not saying that your post is wrong but personally for me in this context, I don't agree.

[susmamma]

I'm not sure if you have ever lost a baby pre-term before, had it pass away within you after seeing it jumping around actively on previous ultrasounds. It is indeed a true loss and perhaps hard to understand if you have not experienced before.


I'm not negating Emsmum's loss. That one feels dreadful after a m/c goes without saying. I was trying to offer some advice on how to move forward. I have lost two previous pregnancies. So yes, I understand. Interesting that you should think that my advice came from a woman who had not experienced a m/c.

[Angelmist♥]

I have to agree Rynosmum.

I'm sorry for sticking my nose in:oI have never lost a baby so I can only assume it's even worse.I do know however, how brain-consuming the want of another child can be, no matter how busy you are.

Mine consumed me for 3 years and I'm one of the lucky ones.

Massive :hugs: to you Emsmum.

[EmsMum72]

Thanks ladies for your kind words, :hugs: and thoughts on this matter. Susmamma I do try to keep busy and I know that while TTC my DD, which took over a year, I had basically 'given up' on any thoughts of having children. I didn't worry about what time of the month it was, whether I was ovulating or not, and 'BAM' out of nowhere I found out I was pregnant. I'm trying to tell my brain to do this as well, but it's just not working. I work part-time, and am very active with my daughter, but like rynosmum said everytime I see a pregnant woman (which is like every 5 mins these days), or a newborn baby that yearning kicks back in and doesn't let me forget!

As rynosmum said Frustrated because I have no idea where my cycle is up to, frustrated because I'm getting older and I just don't know where I'm at - I don't have forevver, the timing was perfect and now I'm leaving it too late, I should have started planning our 2nd a year ago, my friends are all getting pregnant again but I'm not, there are constant reminders of what we have lost.

That is exactly how I feel. It's like OMG my AF still isn't here so I'm in limbo land, and I'll be 35 in December. I'm so eager to start TTC again but when on earth will AF arrive, and I'm sure that if I didn't think about that too it would probably arrive sooner, but they go together, the whole AF & pregnancy thing (if that makes sense). Anyway, thanks for listening :hugs: . I've got my :fingerscrossed: for all of us who are TTC, but that's all I can do for now.

[susmamma]

There is a philosophy that says what you focus on you attract.
So if you WANT a baby, you will continue to want.
If you believe you already have, and give thanks for, you will attract.

So perhaps give thanks for the beautiful baby that you carry within. Give thanks for your amazing uterus that will carry your next baby.
And give thanks for a fertile healthy body.

I dont want to sound all hippy etc but that kind of stuff really helped me. I used to say affirmations to keep me positive.
'Thank you for my life producing body and for my beautiful baby.'
One day I was lying in bed meditating and I went into my uterus. I saw three beds in there. In one bed was my DD1 and a baby in each of the other two beds. They were the two babies from the pregnancies I'd lost.
I went and sat with each of my babies in turn and cuddled them and said goodbye. Then my uterus was empty. As I turned to leave I saw it filled with beautiful red flowers. I knew I was ready to conceive my next child. And I released any fear or expectation about carrying my next baby at that time as well.

Your baby will come honey but as much as the other mothers feel that keeping busy makes no difference. I truly found that searching to keep myself happy without needing to a baby to make me fulfilled really helped. I rediscovered a love of a few things I had let slip over the years and that was invaluable. As soon as you have two babies your life is going to be chockers. Enjoy the precious time you have with your child now. Soak up every minute because when the next one arrives, and it will, you will find that time has gone to spend one on one with your first born. Embrace each day in the present moment without wasting it by wondering about the future.
Sorry didnt mean to :ecomcity:
Good luck xx

[brookeme]

Susmama,I see your point. You arent saying that she shouldnt grieve for her loss, but distract herself from the worry over concieving. Good advice!
It is hard to do though, I am not TTC as yet, but when I am its an obsession!
Best of luck to you EmsMum!
I still feel sadness everytime I go to work. Two of the girls at work had due dates within a week of me, and they now have beautiful babies and I dont. Then the last m/c I was due on new years eve, and another girl at work had her baby on christmas day, so its hard to see all their babies.