Sorry But I Need To Vent!!!

[peta1410]

SORRY BUT I NEED TO VENT!!! My new little man was 5 weeks early and is currently still in hospital, just over 2 weeks now. We're hoping to have Rafe home early next week. He'll be 38 weeks gestation on Monday and it's around that time they tend to go home. My first boy was 7 weeks early and he came home when he was 38 weeks. I hate Gold Coast hospital. They don't tell you anything, just keep you hanging for weeks. We have good and bad days and yesterday was a bad day. Every Monday and Thursday they have Dr rounds in the nursery where there's a big bunch of drs and they come around and assess every baby in turn. When it's not your turn you have to wait in a different room to give privacy and when it's your turn they come and get you and discuss your baby while you're standing there. It' probably like this in every hospital nursery. Well, they didn't have the dr rounds on Monday cause it was a public holiday in QLD so all week I've been looking forward to Thursday so I could find out more info on when they think he'll be coming home. So I'm sitting in that room for ages and finally I think somethings up so I go out and they've moved past Rafe and have finished their rounds. I ask a nurse if they have done him and she said yes. I told her that they didn't come and get me and she said oh were you here? Now this pi**ed me off cause while I was sitting in there she came in to talk to another mum and she looked right at me. Now she asks if I was there??!!!! I was so upset and all they could tell me was that the drs didn't have much to say and that he should be home within the week. That's irrelevant if they didn't have much to say, I'm his mum and it's my right to hear what little they said about him!!! I was so dissappointed, I felt ripped off. I feel upset all the time because I should still be pregnant and I keep missing out on stuff that everybody else gets to experience. It's so unfair. I know I'm feeling sorry for myself but I can't help it. I want him home so badly and I know I'll feel like this until he comes home. I remember feeling the same with my first. It feels like it's never ending and the joy is so great when the day comes when you walk into the nursery and the feeding-tube is gone! You know then it's not far away til they're sitting in your arms at home. But at the moment it feels unreachable, 2 steps forward 1 step back. I don't know how I would cope if my babies were in there for months. I admire you strong mums who have had to live through that. Thanks for letting me vent.

[onabreak]

I understand how you feel. My DD was born 11 weeks early and spent 7 week in hospital. I also felt so ripped off that I didn't get to experience what it was like to go full term and that is very frustrating.

I am now 25wks 4 days pregnant and I am so paranoid that come 29 weeks it will happen again, which is not very far away. :fingerscrossed: it doesn't as this is my last baby I will be having.

I would be making a complaint to a head nurse about them not coming to get you when the doctors took a look at you son. That is not right he is your son and they should discuss everything with you even if there is no change in his progress. You need to know for piece of mind. I remember asking every day when they think DD will be able to come home as it was such a long time to be up the hospital 7 days a week 8 hours a day. DD finally got to come home Christmas Eve 2004.

I have to say though my DD was in NICU in Mater Mothers in Brisbane and they were great. Even if I wasn't there when the doctors came in as soon as I walked in the door one of the nurses looking after DD would explain everything to me how DD progress was and what the Dr's had to say.

I know you are going through a rough time speak up let them know how you feel. Just think in a weeks time :fingerscrossed: you will have your beautiful son home and you can relax and enjoy his company.

I hope I have helped. It is a very frustrating and exhausting thing to go through.

[DoubleDelight]

I can totally understand your frustration. I was incredibly fortunate that the nursing staff at Liverpool are fantastic and kept me informed and involved every step of the way. I only had a small problem with one nurse (not normally in there) and the others set her straight. You are well within your rights to demand to be informed. Either speak to the NUM or the social worker.

The last week or so was the worst for me. I used to get so jealous of the other mums who were taking their babies home and when it finally happened to us it was a suprise :laughing:

:fingerscrossed: that you will be home sooner rather than later.

[pinkandblue]

Every Monday and Thursday they have Dr rounds in the nursery where there's a big bunch of drs and they come around and assess every baby in turn.

My DS was in special care for only 2 days but the doctors came around every morning and assess every baby. Also everytime there was a new shift, all the nurses would go around to every baby and get an update. It doesnt sound like they asses the babies very much there?

Anyway I hope your baby comes home soon.

Natalie

[Manxie]

:hugs: I havent been in the same situation but thought I might be able to help a bit as I am a Nurse.

Please let the staff know how upset you are. I think they should arrange for one of the medical team to come and talk to you, this should be realtively easy for them to organise.

In my experience group ward rounds like these are rude and impersonal and I used to hate them with a passion. I would spend ages picking up the pieces so to speak after the Dr's had done their rounds, reassure patients and family's and trying to explain what the Drs had discussed. Is there a nurse there that you get on with particularly well? Speak to them, dont be afraid to get answers, dont be afraid to demand to see a dr, it was their c""k up and they should be sorting it out.

Good luck and I hope you can take home bubs soon

[peta1410]

Hey MandyMoo, our babies must have been in the same nursery at the same time. My first was born at the Mater in Bris on 19th November, however he came back home to the Gold Coast a few days later and believe it or not he actually came home on Xmas Eve 2004 also after 5 weeks in hospital. How freaky! Thanks to everyone of you for your reassuring words and yes Manxie you're right. It can be a little distressing with the big dr rounds because they're using medical terms and you don't always know what they mean and sometimes you feel like your baby is sitting for a test. It is frustrating when babies who came in after mine are being sent home before me and I'm still sitting there day after day. I just got home from the hospital and Rafe had a great night with his bottles. All bottle feeds and drank them all. Then I come waltzing in and both feeds I gave him he wouldn't finish. Little bugger!! LOL. Although the last one was so close (10mls off) to finished they didn't bother to put it down his tube. AND he put on 45grams in one day. What a legend! :yelclap: Wouldn't it be great if he was home for Mum's Day. What a gift that would be. I'm really hoping to have him home hopefully by Wednesday at the latest. So as you can see girls, today was a good day.YAY!!!:smiliedance: Only annoyance was that they changed his feed time and didn't tell me so I just managed to fluke his first feed by literally a minute. Hope you don't mind if I come back and vent again if I need to. And please feel free to vent if you need to.

[lovingmotheract]

i have never been where you are but i was taking in to hospital when bub was 4 months old and as never told what was going so i as to look at every thing that some dr's had wrote so i know was is going on so i say ask can i have a look at the folder about my son so i know whats going on they can't say no.

[mum2my4]

peta1410 - :hugs: I wish I had great words of wisdom on this issue but I don't. I just know what it's like and the fact that you were there and they didn't get you is pretty bad.:shame:

Glad he had a good day :smiliedance:

Hope he's home with you soon

[Shajbm]

You need to ask them if they don't tell you. My twins were born at 32 weeks and I found the staff at both NICU and SCN to be fantastic. If I'd missed my paediatrician, then the nurses would update me on my boys. I did ask questions though.

Is there a particular dr looking after your son that you could page and ask the questions that you want answered?

[MummyCharmzy]

Speak up, honestly its the best thing and only thing you can do. He is your baby, you do deserve to know everything thats going on with him. Its totally unacceptable that they could 'forget' you were there. Ask questions and if you're not getting the answers, DEMAND them!

Leaving your bub in hospital is hard enough without feeling you are left in the dark over things.

I had a few issues with DS and not being told things but it was my 'first time' being a mummy, I had not long turned 17 and I was quite shy back then! I didn't find out they were giving him pentavite until he was about a month old, nor about them fortifying his breastmilk until 5 weeks in hospital!! Not until I SAW them doing these things!! Second time (and third) around even through my pregnancy I knew to ask the questions and that I did.. I ask and I ask and I ask now and if I'm not happy with the answer I either ask again or ask to speak to someone else.

I really hope they start informing you more and better yet that your bub comes home VERY soon with you!!

Take care

[peta1410]

Hey girls. My little man is home! :smiliedance: He came home on Mothers' Day. What a present!!! We had planned a prison break on Monday if he still wasn't home. LOL!!! But seriously, I did say to them that I really did think he was ready to come home and that he was 38 weeks on Monday with no health problems and there was really no need for him to be in the nursery any longer. They agreed, the drs assessed him and found him to be fit for discharge. YAY! So he's home and we're sooooooo happy. It is a shock to the system though, that's why it's taken so long for me to update you all. Thanks for all your support.

[mum2my4]

:smiliedance: :smiliedance: :smiliedance: :smiliedance:

What a great mother's day present.

Hope you are enjoying your little man now he's home.

[MummyCharmzy]

Congratulations, that must have been THE greatest mothers day present ever!! :D:D