Would you live with another single parent family???

[Veritas]

So would any of you single mums & dad's ever consider living with another single parent family????

I love my space away from my own family and such, but I have thought of the advantages that sharing with another single parent family would bring....

Of course there are pro's & cons to everything, but just think of the shared expenses, the ability to rent a great big house with all the cool things like a pool etc, the fact that you'd be able to share your time and help each other out with babysitting when need be, and have another adult to talk to!!

Of course it would need to be someone who has similar parenting ideas to yourself and whom you feel ultimately comfortable with.... but how great would it be..... now if only I had a fantastic single parent friend in the area who was keen..... :laughing:

[polony]

There are certainly pro's and con's to that one.

Pro's would be that you have another adult to bounce off plus help out if need be. You also help in supporting each other.

The financial side of things could be a great advantage also!

The down-side could be that one might take advantage of the babysitting thing more than the other and the other gets lumped with the kids all the time. It is also hard living with another person as it is, add to that they also have kids.

You might be the sort of person who likes their own space and likes living alone.

I don't know if I could do it.

Good luck!

[Veritas]

There are certainly pro's and con's to that one!

Yeah for sure... I don't plan on doing it anytime soon, I don't know anyone that would "fit" iykwim....

[Shanaynay]

Come live with me. I've been looking for an excuse to kick DH out :devil6:

Seriously though, I would, especially if you could find the right house that had 2 bathrooms, 2 living areas etc... so you could still be quite seperate.
If you are serious about that you should start looking... I'm sure there's single mummies looking to share a house around you:yes:

[whatwasithinking]

I would do it if I was single parent. But then again who would want a crazy mum with 3 (soon to be three) naughty mischeivious over excited children?

Any takers? :laughing:

[SamanthaJane]

I would give it a shot, definitley!

[Veritas]

Come live with me. I've been looking for an excuse to kick DH out :devil6:

Seriously though, I would, especially if you could find the right house that had 2 bathrooms, 2 living areas etc... so you could still be quite seperate.
If you are serious about that you should start looking... I'm sure there's single mummies looking to share a house around you:yes:

:laughing:

Yeah that would be the other thing.... you would need a place big enough to have your own space at the same time..... but with pooled resources that would def be possible....

I think I'd have to meet someone that fits with my way of parenting. lifestyle, etc first..and is a great communicator and in agreeance with what i'd want.... iykwim....

[PunkyDiva]

If I was a single mum, yes definitely!!

Whilst living o/s a friend (who has since become a close, respected and dependable mate) came and stayed with us for 6 weeks with her two girls to help out whilst I had our 5th child. There were the normal quarrels between the kids but we set ground rules and it was fantastic. Someone to talk with whilst carrying out those daily chores who understood where I was coming from/could relate to female stuff. We both agreed that we could now understand why some woman get into relationships/illegal marriages with men who have several wives and all live together. Humans weren't meant to be alone but maybe just having that mateship and unconditional support is more/just as important then male/female relationships/marriage??? Just a thought anyways.

[BlueEyedGirl]

I am kinda lookng into that....

My two older sisters rent together at present, and are on the look-out for a new bigger place. They don't want to end up paying a fortune in rent, so have asked me if I want to move in with them [if we ever find a house!]

We are looking for a place with two bathrooms, lots of living areas, and a big backyard so then we get p!ssed off with someone, we still have room to not be right under each other's feet:D

Coming from a big family, and never living on my own, I *think* I could do it - all depended on the person, and their parenting etc etc:ecomcity:

[Ana Gram]

I definitely couldn't do it.

[Chanelc]

I couldn't do it unless it was a MASSIVE TWO STOREY HOUSE - I like my space

[Mum2Bug]

I couldn't do it unless it was a MASSIVE TWO STOREY HOUSE - I like my space

Can we make that 3 storeys? I like my space way too much to be able to share with another single mum. Especially when you have to take into consideration different parenting styles etc.

[Hector]

I absolutely LOVE my space and am very independent, but have thought about this idea often since becoming a single parent. I'm a history teacher so I often think about the way parenting used to be shared around the tribe/village and wonder if our modern way of doing it alone is what is giving rise to PND, poor discipline/behaviour, childhood obesity...(obviously there are other reasons but ykwim?)

I lived with my brother and my sister just after dd was born and found that apart from the security factor (and occasional, VERY occasional assistance from them with bub), it was not a happy experience.

However, if I was sharing with another parent, who had a child close in age and just the one! and with similar parenting ideas/family situation...well, maybe it could work. At least for a while, especially when the kids are really young, you're not back at f/t work yet and things are a bit of a struggle. ESPECIALLY if you've not got any other family support.

But TBH, can't imagine finding this unique individual unless I cloned myself, lol!

Maybe we should start a bubhub commune on an island somewhere?? now that could get weird!:eek:

[jess_live_die]

i dnt think id be able to i put up with my family coz they get over it but id be worried if i made a friendship or living with a single friend that i would reack it as i try to keep away from ppl giving advise and helping with my kids i like to do do it my way i know im a B!#ch

[Hector]

hehe, that's the other thing - would be awful to fall out big time and lose a mate. my family day care mum lived with another couple when they first had their baby (not sure if the others had kids, think they did) and she said it was a nightmare. still, being 2 couples would be really crowded.

[Dadandtwo]

Would love to meet up with another single parent family...would rather that than someone with no kids...they generally don't understand what parents have to go through...been there with the dating :thumbsdown:

I have met some lovely women with 2 or 3 kids and straight away I think...CAR...two cars to go anywhere...then, the HOUSE, mine is a lovely small house for me and my two little 3 and 4 year olds.

But then, if you met someone, you'd make the effort to make it all work. I know that's what I'm going to do...who cares about the 'logistics' of it all...if I fell head over heals for someone tomorrow, I certainly wouldn't be checking off a list relating to 'material' things. Good luck though.:thumbsup:

[OneBabyBoy]

I think maybe, if the financial saving was really worth it. Also if the place was big enough to have my own space and if it was someone I could trust my DS with. But it would be hard to find someone and somewhere that fit all the criteria.

[Femme-Fetale]

when Ds was much younger i had a huge house and after i kicked out my ex, a single mother friend needed some where to live so i offered her to move into my house.

All was good, for about 2-3 weeks, then you know how it is, the settling in period is over and peoples true habits and colors really start to shine through.

I couldnt stand it any longer.

Its hard because of different parenting and ideals, peronal opinions, friends and lifestyles. Sure, you may think right now it is all good, but it never seems to work out that way (or a very tiny % may) Me and this other single mother got on fantasticly and were great friends - untill i let her live with me

I wouldnt suggest it. Sure the financial side is ok for a while, till you either kick them out or they just leave and then your back to square one again and most likely lumped with any outstanding bills, rent and cleaning left behind.

Good luck choosing what works for you

[Dadandtwo]

ah, I think my wires were crossed...you're talking about 'any' single parent with a family ie another woman? Mmmm, in that case, it would be a tad too difficult I think. I certainly couldn't do it...just depends on how much 'me time' you need I suppose.

Geoff

[KapowSchazam]

Well Karrie, this certainly is a very 'round-about' way of asking me to move down and share a gorgeous, expensive mansion with you, but, hey, why the hell not!!! :laughing:

Seriously, if I were friends with the other single parent first and foremost, and they had only the one child, and close in age to Bianca, and the same parenting ideals as I have, yes, I would consider it.

You would also have to take into account the other person's ex and what kind of arrangement they have. You wouldn't want to live with someone who had an ex who would walk all over them and take advantage of them, as that may affect Piper in the long term...also, if their ex would come over and make themselves at home...

Another thing to consider on this same thought would be access visits. A parent of a younger bub may not have the bub overnight, but have a few, shorter visits during the week, and a longer one a weekend morning (lol can you tell what I'm organising!!! HAHA) This may impact on you and your space, if the ex is using shared space for these access visits. Also, how well the other parent and their ex gets on....the list goes on!!!

[Snuffys Mum]

Nope, I definitely could not. :no:

My younger, single sister lives with me but she lives downstairs and we have seperate bathrooms, and living areas etc and don't really "live" together IYKWIM. I definitely couldn't live with someone elses children.

[Veritas]

Well Karrie, this certainly is a very 'round-about' way of asking me to move down and share a gorgeous, expensive mansion with you, but, hey, why the hell not!!! :laughing:

:laughing: Good on ya!!

I think it would have to be a very strong friendship and everything would have to be very transparent!!

[spring]

I couldn't do it :no: Im way too messy.

[LilShenanigans]

I'd do it... why not?

Personally, I'd prefer if my sister had a child as we're exactly the same when it comes to DD lol

But if I found another single parent with one or two kids, I could handle that ok. There'd definately be a lot of chatter to begin with, organising rules, boundaries and ironing out any problems.

All comes down to experiencing different things in life, and the kids would love it :p

[Lilium]

I stumbled across this thread by accident.

What an interesting thought. I'm not a single parent anymore but when i was, a friend and I used to make double meals and swap so there was always something in the freezer. We used to joke about living together.

The way I see it, blended families are doing just that, except there is a sexual connection between the parents. They have to learn to co-operate, share and blend their parenting styles to suit so surely if there is no sexual / love connection between the adults to complicate matters two single parents with great communication could do this successfully?

[OneBabyBoy]

That's a really good point samh1706. Interesting :yes:

[Acacia]

I do it...sorta.

I live with 2 friends who are a couple but have children to other people. I absolutely love it.

It is great to wake up and have company and know that there is always someone there. When i got home from hospital they had oraganised my room for me and helped me out heaps. Now its great to have someone to confide in. We are running out of room now but we are all looking for a house together.

[Julez82]

I probably could, if the property was big enough and had 2 bathrooms/living rooms etc. as someone mentioned.

Anyone up for living with a single Mum with an angelic 1 year old in Sydney come July time? :p

[Veritas]

Lucky you Ange.... it gets a bit lonely sometimes living on your own.... would be nice to have someone to talk things over with on a day to day basis....


Anyone up for living with a single Mum with an angelic 1 year old in Sydney come July time? :p

Move to Newy & I could be keen... :p

[SimplyMum]

I thought seriously about moving into a ouse with my sis and her new bub but it would be too hard. It would really take a special friendship to make it work.
Who cooks dinner? If Kid 1 breaks the Kid 2's toy- does Kid 1's Mum have to buy a new one? Disiplining is a major issue, I don't like people yelling or smacking DS but I don't think you can really punish an 18month old 10min after the fact- they'd forget what happened and why they're being punished! Who does who's washing? Messyness?

I initially thought it'd be great but I've soon learnt that it would go down hill VERY quickly. Well, this is with my sis and I, as I said it would take a very special relationahip to make it work.

[Josh]

HI ,I think that all the single mums are amazing you
all do a great job, chasing child support and what not,
i have 9 kids and a husband and i am struggling to look
after all of them, keep up the good work.

jodie 37
husband 42:kiss:
Rhiannah 17 , Biankah 16
Dane 11 , Alisha 6
Azminah 5 , Zahid 3
Zhakri 2 , Khalid 14mths:ecomcity:
Azhar 9wks.:sleeping:

[NZMama]

I would and have.
One of our admin staff was looking for a place and at the time I was living with my cousin who had decided to get a place with her bf as they discovered they were expecting bubba number 1.
This girl was the same age as me and there was 1 year seperating our girls.
We each had our own rooms and the girls loved sharing theirs. Combined toys from 2 only grandchildren meant a room chock full of the latest toys.
The girls both went to the same daycare. I started work later than my flatty so I would drop them off in the morning and because she finished earlier than I in the avo she would pick them up and take them home.
It was great being able to vent to someone who understood and had been through the same stuff I had been through.
We both worked so we really only caught up at the end of the day and had our own things to do on the weekends. So despite working together it wasnt too over the top as we werent in each others faces all the time.
Some nights relaxing out the back after the girls had gone to bed with a bottle of wine....actually miss it sometimes lol

[Amberlea]

I've done it three times..and I wouldnt do it again.

I was great friends with all of the girls who i shared with - but for various reasons things didnt work out for all that long.
The shared finances and things are great.. but unless you have a huge house where you can all have your own living and personal spaces - its really not as great as it sounds.

Theres way too many things that have to be considered..

Do you have similar parenting styles, and can you tolerate the differences long term if you dont?
You may think that you can deal with different parenting styles... but when there is a big difference - patience runs thin very very fast.

Can you handle other people telling your children off - because invariably, that will happen at some stage.
Do you mind late night visitors :laughing: no not the male kind... one girl had girlfriends over at all hours of the night even though our rule was no-one allowed entry to our house after 9pm at night (in case they woke the kids up).

It sounds so good in theory - pity its not as simple/easy as it sounds.

On the same note - Id much rather live with a single person these days, Im living with one atm and he tolerates my kids, does his own thing, gives me space.. ohh and works full time :D (nothing worse than living in a house with someone who never leaves the sofa)

Id suggest going away on a holiday for a week with any single parent that you want to move in with... that will decide whether it would be a good idea or not :p

[silverlining]

I've actually been thinking about it! As i am recently separated and reluctantly back at mum & dads. I want to, but am scared as i've never house shared before. There is actually a website www.space4 (http://www.space4)- that deals with this issue specifically. You find profiles of single parents looking for housemates. I've been looking on there.The only thing is that u have to pay a fee to be able to make contact with others. Not very happy about that.

[lovingmotheract]

I would do it why are you asking me to move in do you live in canberra what time to you want me to get there 2morrow i will have my bags packed at 6am how's 8am for you.


no really i would love to move out with a single parent i've been looking in to it heaps but i can't find any single parent in canberra that has a house to move in to with. and pepple that are not single parents or don't have kids don't want a single mum to move in with them.

[becschasebaby]

i have been thinkin about it lots lately cause i am sick of livin in **** houses and the only way ill get a nice one is if i have someone else..

but then i start worrying about things like what the other person will bring into the house and who the other person will bring in and the safety of my child and stuff, and like you said amberlea, i dont really want someone else disciplining my child and stuff like that.

i love having out own space but i get lonely after chase is in bed at night. i reckon it might work if there were clear boundaries and you both got along well and the kids had the same rules and same parenting and stuff. it wouldnt work with just anyone.

but i think it is a great idea for finances and stuff. it has the potential to be fantastic or really really bad..

[Issey]

i couldn't do it :no:

would consider blending families if I was in-love with someone but otherwise no way :no: