View Full Version : Does anyone else get this response??
I am finding that if I mention that we are trying for #3, the response I get is as if I have just said I am trying for #9 or something!!!
It is really interesting how you are expected to have 2 kids, constantly harrassed about the next one if you only have one, and then criticised if you chose to go for more than the standard 2!!
And also I am getting the "but you have one of each, why would you want another?"!!! I dont always understand the gender issue. Of course I am very lucky to have both a DD and a DS, but as long as they are healthy I dont have a preference!!
Anyone else TTC getting these responses??:confused:
EskimoMumma
07-05-2007, 08:01
Oh yea i get it alot, especially from my inlaws..
I just got my :bfp: so im hoping it sticks. but of course DP blabbed everyone..:rolleyes:
My SIL in particular is incredibly nasty and spiteful, and she has her own 4 kids! MIL has had 5 so you know, its not like theyve got a small family.
Yep it is the inlaws that we cope the most from as well, and they dont even know we are trying, thet just assume we would be stupid to have anymore!
EskimoMumma
07-05-2007, 08:04
:shame: on them!
Mine are really twofaced. One day they are all for us, the next they are lining up waiting to take pots at us. His family really does my head in.:yes: :thumbsdown:
This is my 4th though and i love your DD1's name, thats my DD2's (but dp added an extra N..;) )
MCNmummyof2
07-05-2007, 08:05
I really really want #3 but its my hubby that thinks that we have one of each so why have another!!!
I was the only one who wanted #3 and DH didint. Then we thought we were preg, but wasnt. That disapointment changed his mind!
Goodluck as it is hard when only one of you wants to go again.
MummyCharmzy
07-05-2007, 08:13
Our family is split, my family all know we are actively TTC and are very excited for us, my parents are convinced even tho I've been told medically 'no more' that this wont be it for me lol Mum and one of my auntys are as bad as me, they've already started buying for the future baby hehe
IL's are the opposite, they had 3 children and they think thats enough. They sometimes seem to forget that its out choice, so for this reason they don't know we are TTC right now, they do know we planned to when we get married but we bought it forward a few months and plan on surprising them, hopefully with a BFP when they get back from Canada.
katherine
07-05-2007, 08:14
altho my youngest is only 4 months old.. i am still putting the thought out there (DH has warmed to it yet)
i get more of a "you going for #9 reaction" as i do have two boys.. and everyone thinks i am ONLY trying for a girl.... and would i keep going for a girl no matter how long it takes.....
and that is not the case.... i LOVE babies.... and love bringing my own children into the world!
it really does suck how everyone (well most people) think the "perfect" famil is two children, and even one more your crazy?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Crazy I know!!!
I also get stupid comments as my DS was born with hip problems and whilst yes it was a challenging time, we just got the all clear and he turned 2 on the weekend. And whilst there is a chance #3 could have a similar problem, we dont dwell on that . DD didnt have it. And we know we can cope.
katherine
07-05-2007, 08:59
that's right.. probably made you stronger... and i suppose people who havent imediately gone through it dont know the whole situation.....
i have a friend who unfortunately lost her child, and i'm sure some people are saying things to her now that she is pregnant again...... but... oh well... your a DH's choice! :)
We get exactly that! Our DD is only 8 weeks old but people ask us if we'll have another and we say yes and they act like we are completely insane. The guy I buy my potatos from even put in his 2c saying 'why would we want more when we have one of each?." He said we were greedy and we should go to live in China:confused: :eek: :laughing: .
But why why why do people think that one of each means no more. To me that is a bit of an insult to people with two the same- like that's not good enough in some way so they have to have more to correct the problem......
FourAngelKisses
07-05-2007, 09:26
I got it a lot too, still do now. I think that the people who say it are those who have children just because they can and not because they want them.
MummyCharmzy
07-05-2007, 10:37
[QUOTE=nut;1427219]. The guy I buy my potatos from even put in his 2c saying 'why would we want more when we have one of each?."
But why why why do people think that one of each means no more. [QUOTE]
I totally agree... we have TWO of each... gee how greedy must we be to be trying for more lol And in all honesty, I'd love twins B and G next hehe :D
We had many comments when we found out that Savannah was a girl that 'thats enough now isnt it, two of each' but its up to us if thats the case or not!
I do love that each of our children has a brother and 2 sisters or a sister and 2 brothers hehe and I admit that when preg with Isobella I REALLY wanted a girl as we already had two boys so having there first baby sis was awesome but even if I'd had a boy I still would have been rapt... and still would have wanted more, not just to 'get a girl' but because our family is not yet complete!
I love having a big family and love that its not finished growing yet!
LuvMyKids
07-05-2007, 11:29
When we announced that I was pregnant with # 3 the responses were mind blowing. The following are a few things that were said as soon as we told family and friends I was pregnant:
"are you joking, why would you want another baby"............this was from close friends;
"I would have 2 or 4, but not 3"............from my sister in law (who is a middle child and thinks that is to blame for everything in her life);
"oh well, if thats what you want".........from my grandmother;
"you'll be sorry"...........from my uncle
"I wouldn't have 3".............from a lady who worked in David Jones (who also went on to tell me how she was the middle child and she has told her 4 children not to have 3);
The only positive comment was from my brother who has 4, and a few friends. Everyone else was negative.
Me 32
DH 38
DS1 11/10/01 :ecomcity:
DD1 11/3/04 :smiliedance:
DS2 27/7/06 :sleeping:
I am finding that if I mention that we are trying for #3, the response I get is as if I have just said I am trying for #9 or something!!!
It is really interesting how you are expected to have 2 kids, constantly harrassed about the next one if you only have one, and then criticised if you chose to go for more than the standard 2!!
And also I am getting the "but you have one of each, why would you want another?"!!! I dont always understand the gender issue. Of course I am very lucky to have both a DD and a DS, but as long as they are healthy I dont have a preference!!
Anyone else TTC getting these responses??:confused:
How very true. It frustrates me, that people feel the need to comment.
We are currently trying for a 3rd. But we don't mention it to friends or family anymore due to this reason.
I also have one of each child and have people saying "How lovely one of each, you won't need a 3rd now."
Now that I think about it Caitman, I'm glad I have one of each gender, as I am sure people would then be saying, that we only had a 3rd to have a boy etc, you know what I mean?
Frustrated
Grace
PunkyDiva
07-05-2007, 12:20
I have no idea why people feel this need to crtiticise others decisions on how many? but it certainly hurts.
I talk about it on here but in r/l no way!!(except with my baby sis)
I feel bad/guilty for others that can't have kids but I've had my share of pain through m/c etc and I know I do, and will continue to, contribute in positive, proactive ways to the economy, environment and community. Taking responsibilty for mine and my families actions rather then passing the buck, so to speak.
oh, when I was pg with my third, I got from a few people "oh, was it an accident?" Just becasue we had one of each, we couldnt possibly want another one.....
FourAngelKisses
07-05-2007, 12:29
oh, when I was pg with my third, I got from a few people "oh, was it an accident?" Just becasue we had one of each, we couldnt possibly want another one.....
I found myself having conversations like this....
Them : "congratulations!"
Me : "Thanks, he wasn't planned, but we are happy".
He wasn't planned, but I still felt like I had to justify myself for having a third.
melbryan
07-05-2007, 12:47
I am due with no.3 and have some unfavourable comments. Like 'are you keeping it?' and 'so it wasn't unplanned?' or shouldn't you have waited. I really find these hurtful, it's not like anyone else pays for or looks after our kids we are entirely self sufficient but it doesn't stop people with their comments. I am waiting till my belly grows and people looking in my pram and saying ' geez they're going to be close in age'. Why don't people think before they talk???
I purposely haven't told many people because I knew what the response will be. And if we don't produce a girl this time well that's another story, I am under so much pressure. And there will be definitely no more for us. There are lots of preconcieved ideas out there about how big families should be what the age gap should be, just do what feels good for you and forget the rest.
madreader
07-05-2007, 12:52
When i was pregnant with my third i used to say to all the nosy inlaws and to everyone else who felt that they had to add their two cents worth this is what i said and it worked. We were at my house having a barby i said yes we were expecting baby no3 and yes we are happy and yes this baby was planned and no this may not be our last baby and please dont say anything if its not what we want to hear., There were quite a few stunned mullets sitting in frony of us but after my little outburst notone person said any thing negative to me. I wish i was so outspoken like that all the time.
InSaneOne
07-05-2007, 14:11
i hate being asked how old my dd is then being told it is time for me to have another one. i have been trying for nearly 12 months - i wish they would all disapear:wizard: . then i get the other comments when i say that hubby already has 3 plus our 1 together - people seem suprised when i tell them i want more. they nearly die of a heart attack when i tell them i love the 4 we have got but i want 4 more.:p i just have to convince dh that he wants 4 too. i have got to do it one at a time.:laughing: maybe 2 if i get the twins that run in the family.
When i was pregnant with my third i used to say to all the nosy inlaws and to everyone else who felt that they had to add their two cents worth this is what i said and it worked. We were at my house having a barby i said yes we were expecting baby no3 and yes we are happy and yes this baby was planned and no this may not be our last baby and please dont say anything if its not what we want to hear., There were quite a few stunned mullets sitting in frony of us but after my little outburst notone person said any thing negative to me. I wish i was so outspoken like that all the time.
How funny :laughing: :laughing:
We should start something from this.
Replies to the unwanted comments, but keep it nice though.
I wouldn't know what to say back?
1. I would love to have 7 kids :laughing:
FourAngelKisses
07-05-2007, 14:22
For combacks, go here (http://www.plomp.com/largefam/comebacks.htm).
Some of those are just too funny.
Love the come back. YEAH, I just love S*x.
Horny devil
:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
FourAngelKisses
07-05-2007, 14:28
It would shut them up though, lol.
I saved the site on my fav's, some of those comebacks are just too good.
Grace
It drives me crazy that people can't keep their comments to themselves. Our kids are fantastic (most of the time!) and always well behaved when out (maybe not the 2 year old at the moment!) and I would love more but medically can't now and No 5 was a huge risk to me and him. If 1 more person says to me I hope that's it now or You're not having any more are you? I think I'll scream. I always answer them with I'd love more or I could have 5 more like this angel baby. We are the ones that have to deal with our homelife and as we all know it is hectic, I think my best response has been, You should be my washing machine! Good luck to everyone TTC, you make me so jealous. Love to all
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.1.9 Copyright © 2013 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.