Best and Worst of Defence Life [Archive] - Bub Hub Pregnancy & Parenting Forum

View Full Version : Best and Worst of Defence Life

Wish_Bear

06-05-2007, 20:15

Ok I am stealing Olismum's idea but this time I want to know what people's best and worst experiences of being a defence family have been. Or simply what you like or dislike.

Ok I'll start,

I dislike the uncertainty, you can never really plan anything too far in advance.

I do like it when DH has been home a while, he will go off on a course for a couple of weeks and I can have the bed all to myself :laughing:

MilkOnTap

07-05-2007, 10:41

Best of Defence Life...
- A great loving relationship! Because we know our time together is always limited we dont want to spoil it by arguing
- I get the bed to myself! Hehehee
- I force myself to meet people and make friendships that would never have happened otherwise
- We get to live in an awesome house for a fantastic price
- My husbands job is stable, secure and we know he will never get the sack

Worst of Defence Life...
- Sacrifices (living near family & friends; career; lifestyle etc)
- Not knowing what is going to happen next week (is he going to be crash posted? Will this 3 week exercise turn into a 3 month deployment?)
- Extensive periods of time without my husband

mummyof5

07-05-2007, 15:25

Worst: Hmmm, no DH for days/months at a time...
Kids always have accidents/illnesses when DH is away.
Friends getting posted away from you.
Duties.

Best: Unchecked leave!
Disturbance allowance and fully packed removals.
Having the "extended family" sort of feeling with other defence spouses.

Olismum

07-05-2007, 16:46

Best

The best for me is the sense of pride I have in my hubby especially when he comes back from deployment & when he marches. The travel is great and the opportunity to live in different states and experience different places.

Worst

Deployment loneliness, missing my family and not being able to join in on family events. Not having any real friends.

rellebelle

08-05-2007, 21:31

Best

* Definetly having the bed to myself when DH goes away on course
* The housing, moving and relocating perks - almost like a holiday!
* I have met the best friend that i will ever have (fellow defence spouse that moved here on exactly the same day and our DH were already friends). We have seen each other daily since we moved here 18months ago.
* They do think of the children really well at christmas
* Far away as possible from some members of my family!
* Free flights (we get two a year) back home

Worst

* DHA - need i say more?
* The uncertainty of what happens with DH week after week (ie going on course, staying late etc)
* TTC - this would have to be the worst. Why does he happen to go on bush trips at the most inconvenient of times?
* The negativity of when potential employers find out that you are with the army and could possibly leave.

In all i think that the positives outweigh the negatives and we always need something to have a b!tch about!! Their jobs are secure, they get paid very good and they are looked after well. I have a sense of pride that my DH is part of a huge team that is protecting our country!!
What more could we ask for.

mummyof5

09-05-2007, 14:07

In all i think that the positives outweigh the negatives and we always need something to have a b!tch about!! Their jobs are secure, they get paid very good and they are looked after well. I have a sense of pride that my DH is part of a huge team that is protecting our country!!
What more could we ask for.

:yelclap: So well said, Rellebelle, couldn't put it better!

Salina

10-05-2007, 16:44

A lot of people said to me when I married my husband that being ex-service my self, I can have no complaints because I knew what I got into - Well I can and I do!!

The positives are:
- My hubby looks damn fine in his uniform
- Having the steady income
- The removal/relocations process including allowances is great.
- We happen to have postings that are no closer than 2 1/2 hours drive from my MIL (we are now interstate)
- Regular spousal dining in nights/family fun days (although not in all locations)

The negatives are:
- Not establishing really meaningful close friends, have the feeling people back off a bit when they find out your a defence wife (not around long)
- Missing out on family events
- The incompetance of DHA
- Incontinuity of health care as a result of moving and the search for another family GP when you move.
- Uncertainty of where will be in the next few years - especially with my 1st DS due to school in the near future
- Telling my mum we will be posting out (we are currently posted within driving distance) when the time arrives, it will be a huge negative.
- Hubby going away for long periods of time - the tiredness of coping with the kids alone.

There are definetely lots of whinges but I think they even each other out most of the time.

Wish_Bear

10-05-2007, 19:00

Ok so today would have to be one of the down side days to defence life. My DH is on course, both kids were up most of last night, I am tired, need 5 mins to myself and cannot get it. DS has bronchilitis and has been given ventolin for the first time. But he won't stay still long enough to breathe any in which causes a screaming match as I then have to hold him down :(
Plus because DH is away I miss out on my Thursday night out with the girls. I just need 5 mins on my own!!! I am sounding selfish I know but it's one of those days.

Sorry about the whinge!

MilkOnTap

10-05-2007, 21:13

Wish_Bear

11-05-2007, 12:28

Pink Lady... Oh I am being ridiculous, his course is only 2 weeks and he will be home tonight for the weekend. I was just feeling a little nuts yesterday because of the rain and not being able to get outside.
Silly me!

Also Pink Lady..is your DH home?? Hows it going? How are you feeling? Not long till little bubba is here :smiliedance: I bet you are excited!!

MilkOnTap

13-05-2007, 20:19

Also Pink Lady..is your DH home?? Hows it going? How are you feeling? Not long till little bubba is here :smiliedance: I bet you are excited!!

Yes - we are so excited to be meeting our lil one in about two weeks now! (Thank God!!! lol)

Hubby has been home now for about 4 weeks and amazingly enough has been given about 4 or 5 weeks off following the birth of our bub :eek: His ship is due to sail three days after my c/sect date for a 6-7 week exercise and he has been able to get the WHOLE THING off! I couldn't be happier :thumbsup: The first 4 or 5 weeks he will be home 24/7 and then he only has to go onto FBE during the day but will be home every night and no duties! Just perfect :)

Wish_Bear

13-05-2007, 21:01

Yes - we are so excited to be meeting our lil one in about two weeks now! (Thank God!!! lol)

Hubby has been home now for about 4 weeks and amazingly enough has been given about 4 or 5 weeks off following the birth of our bub :eek: His ship is due to sail three days after my c/sect date for a 6-7 week exercise and he has been able to get the WHOLE THING off! I couldn't be happier :thumbsup: The first 4 or 5 weeks he will be home 24/7 and then he only has to go onto FBE during the day but will be home every night and no duties! Just perfect :)

Yay for you guys!!!!!! I am so glad to hear that the Navy are accomodating you all. Wow 2 weeks to go. I bet you can't wait to have him/her out :D
I hope you both enjoy the amazing time together when you bring your little bub home. Goodluck.

mummyof5

14-05-2007, 07:03

The countdown is on, PL...2 weeks to go!!:yelclap:

Just had to say I love that avatar, it's so sweet!! Think that greenie is gonna make a great daddy...

MilkOnTap

14-05-2007, 07:06

The countdown is on, PL...2 weeks to go!!:yelclap:

Just had to say I love that avatar, it's so sweet!! Think that greenie is gonna make a great daddy...

Thank you :) He is so excited about becoming a daddy - he is always hugging and kissing my belly whenever he can.

Though like me, he is also ready to just finally MEET our son... Cant wait!! :hugs: