View Full Version : what a BF mum said to me in a parents room
OMG i was so anoyed and surprised i didnt even retaliate
On friday i was at a shopping center and i went into the parenting room to atend to my childs needs she was due her medicine and i had to reflil her feeding bag (tube feeder) so i go in there and i lay her down and disconect her tube and start doing what i have to do and this lady who was sat there BF looks at me and says must you do that here at first didnt register that she was talking to me then once i did i said what do you mean this is a parenting room this is how is care for my child and her response was well that making me feel sick and very uncomfortable, i just said im sory you feel that way i quickly did what i had to and walking out
I was so angry and disgusted, there are cubicles in parenting rooms but i know they are for BF mums to have privacy so i never use them but after this i will be using them
The thing that upset me as well was that i would have thought that a bf mum would have been more sensitive to the fact that i am caring for my baby the way i need to, as i know that some ignorent people get funny about seeing a mum BF in public personaly it doesnt bother me but then neither does botles or tubes
It just sickens me that people are so ignorent and makes me even more think that SOME BF mums realy do think they are a cut above and note i said some not all
what do you guys think was this women rude
PunkyDiva
05-05-2007, 23:01
:yes: Yep, that was very rude and I hope she felt really guilty afterwards when she realised how upsetting her comments were.:hugs:
People should really learn to think about things before putting there mouths into gear.
DAMN STRAIGHT SHE WAS RUDE :mad:
I totally understand that you were too shocked to reply .. I probably would have been too .. :( you dont expect that kinda nonsense in that setting
:hugs: you can feed your bubba ANYTIME you need to around me .. how ridiculous!!
no one was forcing her to watch .. sheesh .. and there is NOTHING gross or unusual about tube feeding .. grrr
xx
Jen
punkbaby
05-05-2007, 23:02
Seriously i would be furious, if she felt that bad or felt sick, about seeing you caring for your child then she needs to sit behind those curtains so she doesnt see these things
I would rather see that than see these pooey nappies changed, a parenting room is for mums and dads nannies etc to care for their children! If people dont like what they see then they can sit in behind the curtain! I wouldnt move behind the curtain just because she didnt like what she saw sorry..you do what you have to do :)
Thats ridiculous she said that sorry, a mother should understand more so i think!
:hugs:
Also as what was said above! There is nothing wrong with any method of feeding!!
Worm'sMum
05-05-2007, 23:02
You poor thing...that was very rude and insensitive too. No one should be judged on how they feed their baby especially when you don't know the circumstances as to why you choose (or in some cases, there is no actual choice) to feed your baby the way you do. And you are right - it is a parents room and all parents should be able to tend to their children in there with privacy and without critical or hurtful things being said. I bottle fed my DD as my milk never actually came in, no matter what i tried! And I was in the parents room one day and a lady came in and said that I should give up my seat for mothers who are breastfeeding! I told her it was a parents room to feed our children and I had as much right to sit there and feed my DD as much as anyone else! Not to mention the fact that i had had an Emergency Ceasar and was no way going to be able to stand up and feed my baby!
I;m sorry you had to deal with that, but please don't let it make you feel like you're the one in the wrong. That stupid rude lady should have turned away if she didn't like watching! Shame on her!!
MissBrightside
05-05-2007, 23:05
Yep very rude! If she didn't like she should move. That mad me angry reading that, she better just hope that she never has to tube feed her baby, or it would never get fed as it's sooooo disgusting to watch.
To me she just sounds like a rude ignorant person, not necessarily that she is like a BF matyr and didn't want to see you feed your baby the way you needed to. She would probably say the same thing if she was FF her kid, she just sounds like a horribly misinformed judgemental woman. I am so sorry that you were made to feel bad by another mum. I think it hurts most when it does come from another mother as you'd expect them to be as supportive as possible. It's a damn hard gig this mothering business!
:crying: how can anything about a child being fed be sickening? I hope you continue to use the rooms, I think it was less of a breastfeeding issue than a strange and thoughtless person issue.
:hugs:
Tam-I-Am
05-05-2007, 23:07
Yes, of course you have every right to feel furious! That was INCREDIBLY rude of that woman, and you were doing NOTHING wrong, and EVERYTHING right!
Don't stress about that woman :hugs: You just keep doing what you need to for you wee tot :hugs:
You poor thing. What an awful thing to have happen.:hugs:
It really upsets me that people lack compassion or understanding.
A few weeks back i was being tube fed as well and was at the shopping centre with DH and DS, an old lady said to to me that i was in no state to be looking after a baby in my condition.:confused:
I was mortified and havent really been out again since. People just need to mind their own business and accept that some people have different needs.
Huge hugs for you and your beautiful baby.
whatwasithinking
05-05-2007, 23:12
DAMN STRAIGHT SHE WAS RUDE :mad:
I totally understand that you were too shocked to reply .. I probably would have been too .. :( you dont expect that kinda nonsense in that setting
:hugs: you can feed your bubba ANYTIME you need to around me .. how ridiculous!!
no one was forcing her to watch .. sheesh .. and there is NOTHING gross or unusual about tube feeding .. grrr
xx
Jen
Exactly what Jen said!
Hugs too you - and don't feel you have to do what you need to do in a private cubicle. You have as much right to be where you want as the RUDE COW!!
ShadyCharacter
05-05-2007, 23:14
I am actually very surprised that another mother would say that to you in a parenting room, BF or not :no:
And I don't mean to be rude, but I'm not really sure why you refer to her as a b/f mother? :confused: Fair enough if her comment was about you bottle feeding, but if you were tube feeding, its quite obvious your child has medical problems and I don't really think its relevant whether she was a breastfeeding or bottlefeeding mother.
And I don't mean to be rude, but I'm not really sure why you refer to her as a b/f mother? :confused:
I assumed that she was merely stating fact?? (I'm pretty sure that if she HAD been a bottlefeeding mum.. she could have stated that too??) I could be wrong ..
please dont let this thread change course .. :hugs: keep it on track as supportive to M'smum ..
xx
Jen
rollercoastermum
05-05-2007, 23:21
Oh my gosh!!
What a rude person!!
That was so so not nice!
thankyo for all the kind responses it lovely
I am actually very surprised that another mother would say that to you in a parenting room, BF or not :no:
And I don't mean to be rude, but I'm not really sure why you refer to her as a b/f mother? :confused: Fair enough if her comment was about you bottle feeding, but if you were tube feeding, its quite obvious your child has medical problems and I don't really think its relevant whether she was a breastfeeding or bottlefeeding mother.
please can this not turn into another one of those nasty threads about boob versus botles, i would have mentioned either way but i was thinking that seen as some ignorent people see BF in public as gross or what ever i would have thought that it would have made her more understanding,
Please anyone who thinks this is a botle versus boon thread please not bother replying seen as neither are an option for me, i am not saying this to ofend anyone but seriously this is so not about that
Grizabella
05-05-2007, 23:29
What a nasty, selfish, ignorant piece of meat.
Please don't let one persons ignorance and rudeness put you off using the parents room, your as much entitled to use it as anyone :hugs:
Some people! :banghead:
studyingECS
05-05-2007, 23:53
:hugs: what a biatch
huugs
Mamaduke
05-05-2007, 23:59
I would have slapped her in the face with one of her mammaries.
lol mamaduke you crack me up everytime
I hope that she was put in her place when she undoubtedly moaned about it to a friend.
What a horrid woman - no one was forcing her to sit and watch you change the tube and bag. I'm sure that no one was sitting there watching her feed her baby, and criticising her on the way she was doing that! :mad:
I would not go and hide behind a curtain - IMO people need to be aware that there are children who need more than just a nipple or bottle teat in their mouths to get nutrition. Be a role model and proud that you are caring for your child.
Africamum
06-05-2007, 00:19
Thats really terrible.
I chose to feed my child where ever and expect not to recieve comments. You should have the right to tend to your childs needs in a parenting room. That is what it is afterall.
I am a breastfeeding mum and I support your right to be outraged. You should not have to deal with such inconsiderate people.
Ana Gram
06-05-2007, 00:25
I would have given her a few choice words.
nemosmum
06-05-2007, 08:11
Firstly i have to say it, what a B!tch!
That is awful and so mean you poor thing I bet you were very shocked hence the lack of spunk in your comments back to her!
Gather your courage in case this happens again (I hope it never does) BUT if it does I suggest opening a good old fashioned can of whoop a$$ on em!
I hope you dont let that rude imbecile get to you hun, hold your head high!
nemosmum
06-05-2007, 08:16
I would have slapped her in the face with one of her mammaries.
Love your work MD:yelclap: :yelclap: :yelclap:
2boysmama
06-05-2007, 08:26
I know it was AWFUL for you, and she could have said it differently, but...
Some people aren't good with medical stuff. You can't know what her life experiences have been.
It's different seeing things on telly to seeing them in real life.
I know someone who used to faint at needles, but now she is a Registered Nurse and Midwife. For some people is takes exposure and desensitisation.
I know everyone's gut reaction is something like "What a *****!", but just think before you react to what people say & do. Try and put yourself in their shoes (empathy).
"Just try a little kindness & you'll overlook the blindness of narrow-minded people on the narrow-minded streets". Try a Little Kindness - Glenn Campbell
nemosmum
06-05-2007, 08:40
People like that will never change until people stand up and tell it like it is,
she was rude full stop and deserved to be told as much:yes:
I know it was AWFUL for you, and she could have said it differently, but...
Some people aren't good with medical stuff. You can't know what her life experiences have been.
It's different seeing things on telly to seeing them in real life.
I know someone who used to faint at needles, but now she is a Registered Nurse and Midwife. For some people is takes exposure and desensitisation.
I know everyone's gut reaction is something like "What a *****!", but just think before you react to what people say & do. Try and put yourself in their shoes (empathy).
"Just try a little kindness & you'll overlook the blindness of narrow-minded people on the narrow-minded streets". Try a Little Kindness - Glenn Campbell
puy my self inher shoes, (empathy )im sory but i dont think she deserves it to be honest, im sorry but what do people like her supose i do i hide my child away cause she doesnt feed from a botle of boob, she may have her own issues but we are talking about a child here, nd there was nothing disgusting to see really all i did was aspirate her tube and put her medication in it then re atach her feed no blood needles or any thing involved
AS for puting my self in her shoes, why wouldi give herthat respect when she clearly doesnt have it for anyone else
thanks for you prspective on it thought maybe it is a commom reaction hense why i was in a parenting room rather then the midle of a shopping centre mall
Sheer Bliss
06-05-2007, 13:21
:hugs: She sounds like a very very awful person! If she was uncofortable, then that is her problm, no yours and she should have kept her opinion to herself.
Rude, rude women!
harvey123
06-05-2007, 14:23
how rude. you'd expect more compassion from fellow mums. those rooms are called parents rooms and are not just for bf mums. they're for everyone. dd just started on bottles and i still go in there to feed her.
:hugs:
Mummy2Noah
06-05-2007, 14:27
:banghead: :banghead: Some people are so rude!!!!
SamanthaJane
06-05-2007, 14:49
:eek: What a b!tch :mad:
You should have told her to get off her high horse! If she really had THAT big of a problem with it, surely she could have just left the room, i mean, thats what she expected YOU to do... :rolleyes:
The parents rooms are what they say they are... PARENTS rooms. They are for all parents. I bottlefeed and i have always used the rooms.
I don't think there are any excuses for this behaviour. There was no need for her to be so rude.
I would be very upset as well.
As some of the other mums have stated.
Parents rooms are for "Parents".
You poor thing. Big hug & kisses
It suprises me, how many people feel as though they need to say things that are NOT appropriate regarding issues that have nothing to do with them.
The silly lady should have just have looked the other way.
More hugs for you sweetie :hugs: :barf:
Grace
That was very rude of that woman. If it bothered her so much she should've just looked away. Don't let it get you down :hugs:
~mia&ryan~
06-05-2007, 16:00
puy my self inher shoes, (empathy )im sory but i dont think she deserves it to be honest, im sorry but what do people like her supose i do i hide my child away cause she doesnt feed from a botle of boob, she may have her own issues but we are talking about a child here, nd there was nothing disgusting to see really all i did was aspirate her tube and put her medication in it then re atach her feed no blood needles or any thing involved
AS for puting my self in her shoes, why wouldi give herthat respect when she clearly doesnt have it for anyone else
thanks for you prspective on it thought maybe it is a commom reaction hense why i was in a parenting room rather then the midle of a shopping centre mall
Completely agree, I dont think she deserves that.. You were caring for your child, it does not matter in any way how you were feeding her... Some people are just so discraseful.... And DO NOT start thinking it is a common response, most parents will not feel that way.. Don't let it stop you from caring for your child, wherever you are!!!:hugs:
Blessed Mum
06-05-2007, 16:17
wow the things u you hear never stop surprising you do they ? :mad:
Really sorry you had to go through that & she's really lucky you did react the way you did & not get some of us more ' tell it how it is' bubhub mums :yes:
I hope from here on in your experiences are better & please do not change the way you need to do things or where you do them for your bubba.:hugs:
What is tube feeding? What I think it is can't be right as it's not a mobile thing ...
But yes, whatever you were doing to tend to your baby, you had every right to do so in a parent's room. If her delicate sensibilities were offended, tough nuts to her.
Wish_Bear
06-05-2007, 18:41
I know it was AWFUL for you, and she could have said it differently, but...
Some people aren't good with medical stuff. You can't know what her life experiences have been.
It's different seeing things on telly to seeing them in real life.
I know someone who used to faint at needles, but now she is a Registered Nurse and Midwife. For some people is takes exposure and desensitisation.
I know everyone's gut reaction is something like "What a *****!", but just think before you react to what people say & do. Try and put yourself in their shoes (empathy).
"Just try a little kindness & you'll overlook the blindness of narrow-minded people on the narrow-minded streets". Try a Little Kindness - Glenn Campbell
I'm sorry but I disagree.. If she was as you said "not good with medical stuff" then SHE should have left the parents room. Not make someone else who was clearly looking after her child as well feel belittled and small!
This woman deserves no empathy as she clearly has none for anyone else.
Mikenzee's Mum... What a horrible experience. You have every right to be p!ssed off. Don't let one narrow minded cow get to you.
SassyMummy
06-05-2007, 18:55
What a b*tch!
I wouldn't know the slightest thing about tube feeding, or why it happens (would anyone be able to tell me? I really have no idea...)... but it's a PARENTS room and as you are a parent, with a baby... she should shut her damn mouth.
It very well may make her feel a bit uncomfortable, but so what? Babies have their bums changed in there... the smell of that is surely uncomfortable on occassion too... but it's something you've got to expect from a parents room!
Was she in a cubicle? If she is so worried about her precious eyes, she could have always locked herself away in one of those.
Ashleigh<3
06-05-2007, 18:57
Oh my goodness, If you are to see her again, tell her how you feel.
And correction!
She was a rude ***** because she was a heartless cow for not being empathetic enough to realise that MM's baby need food.
Just because it went down via tube doesn't mean she can be so cold hearted.
Grrr... Some people are so insensitive.
"Excuse me, could you please keep it down your lactating sound is making me sick".
:laughing:
I don't know about any other Mum who BF or still does but chloe was a real gulper.
charlen49
06-05-2007, 19:35
OMG..i can not believe that woman....i would have went of...having a bit of an acid tongue..i wouldnt have been able to hold it for too long.....poor thing u must have been in shock and disbelief!:hugs:
GraceUnhearing
06-05-2007, 19:40
I would have slapped her in the face with one of her mammaries.
haha
that is very rude
how dare she say that to you!
What is tube feeding? What I think it is can't be right as it's not a mobile thing ...
But yes, whatever you were doing to tend to your baby, you had every right to do so in a parent's room. If her delicate sensibilities were offended, tough nuts to her.
I was wondering what it is too?:confused:
MummyCharmzy
06-05-2007, 21:54
wow that is SO rude!! I would have been so angry and upset by that! I think you handled it really well!! Thats disgusting!
Ashleigh<3
06-05-2007, 22:05
I was wondering what it is too?:confused:
I'm not entirely sure but I think it has a lot to do with the baby rejecting milk from the bottle so they need to be fed with a tube.
I'm sure that a medical condition could be relevant but I wasn't sure.
MM- might explain a little better..
:o
I know everyone's gut reaction is something like "What a *****!", but just think before you react to what people say & do. Try and put yourself in their shoes (empathy).
I would have thought that we would expect this to work the other way...:confused:
Empathy and understanding from HER... since clearly a mother wouldn't CHOOSE to feed their baby by tube, over bf or bottle.
I'm certain MM would much prefer to have had the options of feeding method, which clearly she doesn't. Maybe she should have put herself in MM's shoes and keeped her trap shut! :mad:
I would of told her where to go and then i would of taken the longest time i could of with out bub getting P**sed and done it so she could of see everything...
Not one has the right to say anything to you about the way you feed your baby...
I take it you must of had a hard time with your bub for your bub to be tube feed NG or button..
You don't listen to people like that...
:hugs: for you
thankyou for all yr kind responses its nice to see the majority of people arent ignorant
What is tube feeding? What I think it is can't be right as it's not a mobile thing ...
But yes, whatever you were doing to tend to your baby, you had every right to do so in a parent's room. If her delicate sensibilities were offended, tough nuts to her.
mikenzee is nasogastric tube fed which means she has a tube through that goes up her nose and then into her tummy, she is fed on a continous feed so we have a portable feeding pump that delivers 40mls an hour intio her tummy, before we had her portable pump she was hooked up to her kanger pump on a iv pole at home but as it is long term we got a portablwe one its the same thing just has a batery charger and fits in a special insert then into a back pack, when i was i the perents room i had switched of ehr tube to put her medication on it
So i think you was thinking the same thing only you may have been thinkingof a the hospital pumps that are not portable
i hope that explains it if not ask any questions that you have
I'm not entirely sure but I think it has a lot to do with the baby rejecting milk from the bottle so they need to be fed with a tube.
I'm sure that a medical condition could be relevant but I wasn't sure.
MM- might explain a little better..
:o
i responded to the other post before reading this one
sorry
the reason she is ng fed is cause she is unable to digest food she has servere gerd and gut motility disoerder and bowel motility disorder she had a fundoplication to stop the puking but as her digestive system doesnt work she can still only handle a slow continuos feed, of neocate which is basicly a predigested dairy and soy free formular, she has had 2 operations on her tummy so far a pyloric stenosis repair and a nissen fundoplication we are now still unsure on weather she will need another 2 on on her digestive system
Ihope this explains it with out boring you all lol but this was the shortest explanation
Ashleigh<3
06-05-2007, 22:54
i responded to the other post before reading this one
sorry
the reason she is ng fed is cause she is unable to digest food she has servere gerd and gut motility disoerder and bowel motility disorder she had a fundoplication to stop the puking but as her digestive system doesnt work she can still only handle a slow continuos feed, of neocate which is basicly a predigested dairy and soy free formular, she has had 2 operations on her tummy so far a pyloric stenosis repair and a nissen fundoplication we are now still unsure on weather she will need another 2 on on her digestive system
Ihope this explains it with out boring you all lol but this was the shortest explanation
Not boring us at all MM.
What an amazing little girl you have there.
Tube feeding is better then not feeding.
I'm so sorry you had to deal with that stupid womans ****.
Especially because your baby needs to eat that way. :(
I can't believe the nerve of that woman!
I say some woman can be very insensitive no matter if you are bottle feeding, breast feeding or tube feeding. I went into a parents room a couple of weeks ago and an older lady I say she was in her early 60's was in the parenting room (admittely it was a very small parenting room more like a cubicle with a change table, microwave and a couple of chairs) and she was sitting in one chair and a feet on the other reading a book. When I came she said to me OH I guess I should go read outside in a very rude condensending tone. :no:
One thing is I don't judge people (ie nannies, mum, dad's etc) that are in there they have every right to be in there if it means changing a nappy, feeding or tending your child's needs.
Thank you for answering, MM. And that explanation just makes me furious at that woman. Hard for her to watch. indeed! Where on earth is her empathy for a fellow human being?!
Shame on her!
GraceUnhearing
07-05-2007, 11:25
Thank you for answering, MM. And that explanation just makes me furious at that woman. Hard for her to watch. indeed! Where on earth is her empathy for a fellow human being?!
Shame on her!
i agree with beany
what a stupid woman!
Mum&bubs
07-05-2007, 11:29
OMG :mad: VERY RUDE INDEED!!
I don't know what's wrong with some people!!! :hugs: :hugs:
madreader
07-05-2007, 13:12
Some people just dont know when they should just shut their mouths and be done with it. SHAME ON HER FOR MAKING YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE FOE FEEDING YOUR BABY. I think that you are doind a fantastic job a thumbs up to you. :hugs: :thumbsup:
Wish_Bear
07-05-2007, 13:16
Some people just dont know when they should just shut their mouths and be done with it. SHAME ON HER FOR MAKING YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE FOE FEEDING YOUR BABY. I think that you are doind a fantastic job a thumbs up to you. :hugs: :thumbsup:
Here here!!! :yelclap:
Yes very rude of her. :shame:I would like to think that would be a one off. I can't understand why she would say that. Its not like it was her house :confused:
i imagine it would have been very upsestting to get a comment like that, especially at the moment, it sounds like you and your bubba are already dealing with a lot.
it's not right that she ask you not to do that, the problem is clearly hers, whether she is plain rude, or has issues with seeing 'medical type procedures', she had no right to speak to you like that when you are caring for your baby.
those cubicles can provide privacy for any mum ( there aren't just there for breastfeeding mums), but don't feel you have to hide away just because of one womans comments, be proud of your good mumming and help to educate mums like that. i wonder if she maybe didn't understand, or know about tube feeding and maybe didn't realise why you need to feed your baby like that.?.
i just can't believe that anyone would be so insensitive.:eek:
but please don't judge other mums on how one woman is.
It just sickens me that people are so ignorent and makes me even more think that SOME BF mums realy do think they are a cut above and note i said some not all
i know that you made a point to say some, not all, but this was one woman and not representative of me as a breastfeeding mum, or my friends and i would hate you to think that we would act like that purely because of how we feed our babies. and we are some breastfeeding mums.
this woman was clearly out of line!!:(
only1mica
07-05-2007, 15:10
Hi :wave:
I am a BFing mum...and I think it was rude...mate I dont say boo to anyone else in the parents room (unless saying something about their beautiful bub) Let alone a mum that is just trying to feed their bub anyway they can.
:hugs: to you!
our little treasures
07-05-2007, 15:14
Oh that is not good!!
I must say though it's not some bf mums that think they are a cut above the rest it's some mums in general!
i imagine it would have been very upsestting to get a comment like that, especially at the moment, it sounds like you and your bubba are already dealing with a lot.
it's not right that she ask you not to do that, the problem is clearly hers, whether she is plain rude, or has issues with seeing 'medical type procedures', she had no right to speak to you like that when you are caring for your baby.
those cubicles can provide privacy for any mum ( there aren't just there for breastfeeding mums), but don't feel you have to hide away just because of one womans comments, be proud of your good mumming and help to educate mums like that. i wonder if she maybe didn't understand, or know about tube feeding and maybe didn't realise why you need to feed your baby like that.?.
i just can't believe that anyone would be so insensitive.:eek:
but please don't judge other mums on how one woman is.
i know that you made a point to say some, not all, but this was one woman and not representative of me as a breastfeeding mum, or my friends and i would hate you to think that we would act like that purely because of how we feed our babies. and we are some breastfeeding mums.
this woman was clearly out of line!!:(
Sorry i guess that is kinds rude for me to say that it just seems to be in my experience that everytime i have had a coment maid about my child having low immune system (blood condition not a feedign thing) or her alergies, tube feeding ect seems to be from BF mums not all of you obviously my best friend breast fed and she isnt like that either and i know most of you are not just the few mean things i have heard since being a mum seem to befrom bf mums granted these women was probably horrible well b4 they started bf
just the few mean things i have heard since being a mum seem to befrom bf mums granted these women was probably horrible well b4 they started bf
:laughing: yes, sounds like they were!!
~Emmylou~
07-05-2007, 19:54
OMG I'm mortified!
That's awful and that horrible woman should be ashamed.
I'm so sorry you and your beautiful bub had to be subjected to such a mean-spirited hag!
Some people!!
I am just still so shocked that another mother/parent could say this to someone who is obviously providing their child with something vital to the bub's health and well being. To question you as to 'why you must be doing that there' when it wasn't too long ago really that women had to justify actually being able to bf in public, and were asked to move away so as not to 'offend' people is just so astounding and ignorant.
To be honest too - I find some of those 'privacy cubiclies' to not actually be as clean looking as the more general area of the parents room and when I was bf my DS I would very rarely use them, so if I had to actually do something involving any sort of medical procedure especially for my bubs, I would rather do it in an area that appears to be the cleanest!
And a simple solution if you find anything to do with medical procedures uncomfortable - DON"T LOOK! She could have looked away, looked down, closed her eyes - a number of things.
Rest assured that tis woman would pretty much be alone in thinking you should have been the one to go somewhere else and if any of us had been in the room at the same time she questioned you, she would have had many comments from other mothers backing you up!
I was so angry and disgusted, there are cubicles in parenting rooms but i know they are for BF mums to have privacy so i never use them but after this i will be using them.
It just sickens me that people are so ignorent and makes me even more think that SOME BF mums realy do think they are a cut above and note i said some not all
That's really appalling. I don't think the cubicles are just for Bfing mums. If a Bottle feeding mother feels she needs privacy they have just as much right to use the cubicle as a bfing mother does.
I'm a bfing mother and under no circumstances would I say something like that. If a bottle feeding mother asked me my opinion on the issue then I would give it, but otherwise that woman should have just looked away. How hard is that?:rolleyes:
:hugs:
MCNmummyof2
08-05-2007, 11:34
That's really appalling. I don't think the cubicles are just for Bfing mums. If a Bottle feeding mother feels she needs privacy they have just as much right to use the cubicle as a bfing mother does.
I'm a bfing mother and under no circumstances would I say something like that. If a bottle feeding mother asked me my opinion on the issue then I would give it, but otherwise that woman should have just looked away. How hard is that?:rolleyes:
:hugs:
Ive been told to leave the cubicle by a bf mum when I was feeding my daughter a bottle because she didnt want to expose herself. Tried to explain that my daughter wont drink unless its quiet and not much going on - didnt bother her, I ended up waiting outside till she was done and went back in. Wish I had the guts to stand up to her. Wish more mums would see that we are all in the same boat - trying to do what is right by our child.
Ive been told to leave the cubicle by a bf mum when I was feeding my daughter a bottle because she didnt want to expose herself. Tried to explain that my daughter wont drink unless its quiet and not much going on - didnt bother her, I ended up waiting outside till she was done and went back in. Wish I had the guts to stand up to her. Wish more mums would see that we are all in the same boat - trying to do what is right by our child.
That's not correct. I would never ever, ever even think of saying/asking someone to leave.....I wonder how many other mums think that cubicles in Parents rooms are only for BF mothers...Might be time for another thread and poll.
I'm sorry you were treated like this. Big hugs and kisses.
Grace
Ive been told to leave the cubicle by a bf mum when I was feeding my daughter a bottle because she didnt want to expose herself. Tried to explain that my daughter wont drink unless its quiet and not much going on - didnt bother her, I ended up waiting outside till she was done and went back in. Wish I had the guts to stand up to her. Wish more mums would see that we are all in the same boat - trying to do what is right by our child.
I do understand what you are saying but I also understand the other lady. I don't think cubicles are only for bf mums but I think they have the priority if there are no other cubicles available.
I breastfed bub till she was 5 months and in that time I didn't feel comfortable feeding her in public. I fed her in the parent's rooms but fathers do come in (as they have every right to) so I found it more comfortable to be in the cubicle. It was either that or in the car on a hot day, take a guess to which I'd prefer.
So if I saw a mum who wasn't breastfeeding her bub and there were no cubicles left I'd be pretty annoyed too. Bubs are hungry when they're hungry, they can't wait till a cubicle is available.
Ana Gram
08-05-2007, 16:25
I do understand what you are saying but I also understand the other lady. I don't think cubicles are only for bf mums but I think they have the priority if there are no other cubicles available.
So if I saw a mum who wasn't breastfeeding her bub and there were no cubicles left I'd be pretty annoyed too. Bubs are hungry when they're hungry, they can't wait till a cubicle is available.
But would you ask a woman who was in the middle of bottle feeding her child to vacate?
:hugs: to you MM
Very insensitive, ignorant and rude comment. This is where sometimes I hope the people involved are members of Bubhub and read comments here - they may get more cutting comments to read on an internet forum than if you'd confronted them IRL, but then it's a better way to get the point across. I've assisted in tube feeding children (both ng and peg feeding) and to me, it was wierd and confronting to begin with, but if you realise that it's the way this child is being fed and equate it with it being no different to bottle or breast feeding then it helps acceptance a lot quicker.
I believe any parent can use a parent room so long as they're attending to their child's needs, however, when I see teenagers hanging out, eating pizza (which they've heated in the microwave in the room), I turn into a nazi - prob look like a bf nazi then:o . But if all cubicles are being used by a parent and a child (regardless of how they are attending to their child, I'll bf my child outside on one of the couches - actually I usually feed outside the cubicles so I can keep an eye on my 3year old.:D
But would you ask a woman who was in the middle of bottle feeding her child to vacate?
If roles were reversed I'd vacate myself because I'd totally understand.
If my bub was screaming because of hunger I'd try to explain it to her nicely and would hope she understood my position. Not everyone is comfortable with exposing their breasts.
Ana Gram
08-05-2007, 17:03
If roles were reversed I'd vacate myself because I'd totally understand.
If my bub was screaming because of hunger I'd try to explain it to her nicely and would hope she understood my position. Not everyone is comfortable with exposing their breasts.
Gotta say, I wouldn't have moved. My DD was a bit of a painful eater and would have screamed if I stopped to move her during a feeding.
Ive been told to leave the cubicle by a bf mum when I was feeding my daughter a bottle because she didnt want to expose herself. Tried to explain that my daughter wont drink unless its quiet and not much going on - didnt bother her, I ended up waiting outside till she was done and went back in. Wish I had the guts to stand up to her. Wish more mums would see that we are all in the same boat - trying to do what is right by our child.
oh you poor thing i find that really sad, I know that when we was going through a fantastic stage when my DD was taking a botle it was such a struggle to get her to take it and let me tel you once i got ehr to actulay open her mouth and let me start giving her her botle i would stop for any body no no no, i dont know a lot about how must babies feed but from the experience i have i would never expect any one to stop once of a roll KWIM
MCNmummyof2
08-05-2007, 18:28
I do understand what you are saying but I also understand the other lady. I don't think cubicles are only for bf mums but I think they have the priority if there are no other cubicles available.
I breastfed bub till she was 5 months and in that time I didn't feel comfortable feeding her in public. I fed her in the parent's rooms but fathers do come in (as they have every right to) so I found it more comfortable to be in the cubicle. It was either that or in the car on a hot day, take a guess to which I'd prefer.
So if I saw a mum who wasn't breastfeeding her bub and there were no cubicles left I'd be pretty annoyed too. Bubs are hungry when they're hungry, they can't wait till a cubicle is available.
So because she is breastfeeding, my baby should have to wait screaming because she too infatuated with everything going on around her to suck on the bottle? I know that women dont like exposing their boobs - hell Im one of them. I know where she was coming from, but I dont see why I should have to stop the feed and relocate to another parents room (if there was one), just so that she can feed in privacy.
If baby shouldnt have to wait until there is a cubicle available - why should mine just because we had to use a bottle??
ImSethsMum
08-05-2007, 19:33
Bibs- Im sorry but every mother (or father for that matter) has the right to use those cubicles whether it be for breastfeeding or bottle feeding or tube feeding.
If you feel uncomfortable bf in public and want privacy then buy a breasfeeding cape and put it on, sit on the couch and NO ONE can see your boobs. Once a cubicle becomes free then move into one.
No one has the right to ask a bottle feeding mum to move in preferance for a breastfeeding mum. Thats just rude.
My son was tube fed for the first week and if anyone had told me to move because they didnt want to see it - well I would have told them to grow up! And if I had gone into a cubicle and been told to move in preferance to a breastfeeding mother well you can guess what my response to that would have been.
In the end - If you dont like seeing other people feeding (breast/bottle/tube) or dont like being seen whilst feeding your child so much so that you will ask others to move to suit your own needs then maybe you should just stay at home.
Sorry for the rant and sorry to offend but I hate it when people are made to feel bad by other mothers.
jessgray
09-05-2007, 08:23
no where have i seen a sign saying "breastfeeding only cubicles" or "give way to breastfeeders":laughing: so in my eyes any parent has the right to use them if needed:p
Pobblebonk
09-05-2007, 15:01
As a mum who used to have to tube feed her baby, I'm in shock that someone could be so rude, and I'd have given her an earful.
And I HOPE this women is a Bub Hubber because SHAME ON YOU!
Harlequin
09-05-2007, 16:19
I think I might just avoid the Parents Rooms altogether and just find a nice quiet corner of target to bf Ava if I have to.
Parent Rooms sound like scary places.
ImSethsMum
09-05-2007, 16:31
Actually I like some Myer stores - some have a parents room and they are always very quiet :)
No cubicles though LOL
boogernsqueak
09-05-2007, 16:38
parents rooms are for parents or carers to tend to children or babies. its basically a case of first in best dressed isn't it?
if someone had said that me feeding my child was disgusting them i wouldn't be gobsmacked, i'd smack 'em in the gob!!!
Don't worry, a house will fall on her one day........
Natsmummy
09-05-2007, 20:45
That's just dreadful - there really are some b**ches around aren't there...big hugs :hugs: to you.
ImSethsMum
09-05-2007, 21:48
Don't worry, a house will fall on her one day........
Or maybe she will end up with a colostomy bag that needs to be emptied, poor dear will have to learn to cope with tubes and medical proceedures then wont she.
I need a shirt that says "I dont breastfeed" - "Get over it and get over yourself" :D
sorry Im feeling feisty tonight :laughing:
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