tips and ideas!

[jessica]

Hi,

From all the posts and private messages I see I'm not the only one who finds CC tricky - the common thread is 'it's definetly worth it!!' We finally had a good night last night after a tricky week. My little one is teething (I think - who can be sure?) and needs to suck and chew constantly - Last night I gave her a little washcloth to sleep with and she sucked merrily till she fell asleep - sound asleep all night till 4.30am for her feed!! Then back to sleep till 7.30am WOW!! Anyway the point is for her last couple of sleeps/naps there has been no crying when I put her down because she has her washcloth to suck on, I find when in my arms for a tired time cuddle she sucks on my shirt or arm as she gets sleepier...

Well this is working for us so far (touch wood!), thought it might help others? Another friend gives a favourite toy in the cot... By the way I cut the tag off the washcloth because I read in a post somewehre about a baby who choked on a tag on a toy!

Anyone else got any tips/ideas?

Good Luck, sweet dreams! :D

[alicesmum]

I posted a smiliar message elsewhere, but thought I'd share my trick that works like a charm for us.

For my 7 mth old, checking and patting definitely don't work. From 3 months of age, I noticed that just going into the room gets her more upset or all excited.
So, if she won't settle (& i can only bear ~10 minutes of crying!), I pick her up and re-wrap her on the bed (nice and tight, arms down, in a *big* cotton cot sheet folded in half) and she finds the cuddle and attention associated with being re-wrapped very soothing. I usually try not to speak or make eye contact. Just a bit of "shhhh'ing"!! The most number of times I have ever had to re-wrap her before it has worked is twice. Works everytime for us!!

ALSO... I bought one of those musical Aquariums from K-Mart that strap onto the side of the cot which have little fish and lights and lullabies, and now I just turn on a tune, start wrapping, and she knows that it's sleepy time and that she has no choice but to sleep! :p

Good luck!

[annemarieh]

Hi

I can't stomach the idea of leaving my baby to cry, it goes against all my instincts but I do feel for all the sleep deprived parents out there and so I don't want to dimiss it as an avenue for change.

However, in my limited experience (i have one six month old baby) I have found that he sleeps most soundly and contently when he is close by me. When he turned three months I moved his cot so it is pushed right up next to my side of the bed. I had my husband raise the level of the his mattress and take one side off. Soo... he sleeps in his own bed, in his own space but he can reach out and touch me, smell me and feel secure - but my husband and I have our own space.

It's a wonderful set-up. He sleeps soundly mostly but when he wakes it is no drama. I put my hand out reassuringly on his chest or pull him towards me and give him a feed. I never need to get up unless he needs changing. He is happy because he knows I am right next to him all night and I can keep an eye on him and adjust his blankets and untangled him when necessary.

I think babies cry because they just want to be close to their mums and feel secure. And it makes me feel good that he wants to be close to me. So I look at this as a special time in our life together, a time to cherish and enjoy. Soon enough he'll be at high school and have stinky socks and won't be very cuddly at all.

This might be an option for some of you instead of cc.

Bye for now

[earthmother]

Day 8 of controlled crying and my DD is now sleeping 10-12 hours at night now! :D
She is now 10 months old and I am back at work soon (4 weeks to go :( ) and now when I say it's time for bed or 'night-night' time she starts to wave at everyone and knows it is time.
She still has a little soft cry/grizzle but is asleep within 10 minutes.
If I did not have to go back to work I would have kept on being sleep deprived as I was getting up 4 times to soothe her back to sleep.
She was a great sleeper up until 6 months and then from 6 months onwards was when she would wake up all hours of the night.
I would not have felt comfortable trying out CC when she was younger but as they get older I do believe that they need to be able to get to sleep by themselves.
I read a lot of books and on Day 3 I called Riverton just to make sure I was doing it correctly - the nurse there was very supportive and she could hear DD in the background while I was talking to her.
All I can say is that it has worked for us and I am now getting much needed sleep and DD is waking up so much happier too.
If bub is healthy, eating and drinking well and otherwise happy then CC is a good idea to try if you are so exhausted and particularly if you are about to return to work.
You do need the support of your partner and need to stay strong but there is support out there on the phone and on this site, so good luck to all you Mum's that are/have tried CC.
All the best

[cheeky boys mum]

HI All
This is my firsy post.
I have a 7 month old happy lttle boy who was a pretty good sleeper up until 6 months like you Lynda. I have done the controlled crying before but now I am a bit confused. He wakes several times a night and is up one end of the cot. So I move him down under the covers, rub his cheek and walk out. He might cry for less then a minute. [When I did CC at 4 months it could take 30min] but then can wake again anywhere from 2-3 hours later. I used to cuddle hime before tucking him but have stopped that and now just rub his cheek. Sometimes I have waited before I go in and he might put himself back to sleep but it is short lived and in 30min he is quite loud. Am I doing the wrong thing by tucking him back into bed?
Is it something they just go through when they get a bit older?
Welcome any thoughts.
Cheers
Julie

[earthmother]

Hi Julie,
Being new to this control crying, I don't actually tuck my DD back under the covers as it seems to disturb her getting settled again. She is sleeping in one of those sleeping bags (lightweight, as still fairly warm here in Bris-vegas), with an all in one bonds suit underneath.
If she does 'sing out' cry or grizzle, I don't rush in straight away and wait for at least 5 minutes as she usually re-settles herself. This morning at 2am she cried out and I didn't go in and she did get back to sleep by herself.
Try and be calm and confident 'cause I'm sure bub's can sense your emotional state. You need to be consistent as well.
Also, try not to linger too long - 30 seconds max. What you are doing by stroking his cheek is good, and you can whisper "Sshh, I love you, night-night" and then turn around and walk out of his room and close the door. He may still cry or grizzle but do not rush back in. Does he have a favourite little soft toy or cuddly? This can be used as one of the cues for when it is bed time.
If he is sleeping down the other end of the cot, as long as his head is clear of the sheet/blanket, just leave him there. Renee stands at the side of the cot and when she falls asleep, she literally sleeps where she lays down. I go back in later to put a light weight blanket over her, but not straight away.
If he is cutting some teeth or not well, this may affect his sleeping and ability to get back to sleep.
The day time sleeps are a bit more of a challenge that the night time too.
I hope this helps a bit, remember all babies are different.
Read up the entire thread on Control Crying too as there are some good suggestions there.
Can you call a place like Riverton or Tresillian? The people that are there to talk to are great and you can explain in detail what DS is doing.
Wishing you all the best and hopefully some peaceful nights real soon.

[cheeky boys mum]

Thank you Lynda.
I will persist. I guess I just felt better myself if I tucked him in. I do have a sleeping bag which I am yet to use so may give that a try soon. I have read alot of the threads and found alot of interesting information and above all found it to be very supportive of other mums. :)

[Jayne]

Hi All,
My daughter is 3 1/2 months and sleeps brilliantly during the night, from 6.00pm to 5.00am.
Unfortunately she doesn't sleep much during the day though.
I seem to get her to sleep, and within 10 minutes, just after I have done a chore around the house, she is awake and crying again!
She tends to cry (sook) all day and its because she is overtired.
So today my husband said that we were to leave her to cry, because there was nothing else we could do for her. She was fed and changed, but it was just the fact that she was overtired. It took 40 minutes for her to get to sleep and it was the hardest 40 minutes of my life! I felt like I was the worst mother, leaving her to cry, and all I wanted to do was to go and pick her up and try to soothe her.
I know if I went and picked her up and took her out of her room, she would've still cried and cried, so I persisted and it worked.
Although it worked, I felt really guilty, should I be allowing my baby to cry and scream herself to sleep???
Oh well, we will see what tomorrow brings, hopefully it gets easier!!

Jayne (Chenae's mum)

[vonnie100]

I just want to share what happened when I went to visit a friend yesterday.

I went to see my friend in the morning expecting to stay for an hour or so but my friend had other ideas. She insisted on putting the porta cot up in her room for Caitlin( 12months old), to sleep so that I could stay and chat for longer.
I knew this was probably not going to work very well as Cait is not the best at sleeping let alone sleeping in strange places. But I went along with the suggestion anyway to see what might happen as caitlin has been sleeping really well latley. I have never done controlled cry, I cant stand hearing her cry and not attending to her. Any way we put caitlin in the cot and she imediatley started to cry....that was okay, 5 mins later her crying was becoming screams and I had to get her, my friend said 'just give her a cuddle and a kiss and put her down again' so I did and as I expected she screamed all the more, my heart was breaking. My friend came in and got some toys and we all played in the room to try and get her used to being there. Cailtin was getting a little restless and then started to cry, my friend got me to lay on the floor and pretend to be asleep and so did she but Caitlin was crying sobbing screaming and my friend insited that we keep trying, I was in tears and shaking wanting to get my baby....I was so upset but didnt want my friend to think that I was weak. After an hour Cailtin fell asleep from exhaustion for 1/2 an hour. My friend exclaimed that she knew how I felt but because it wasnt her baby she was strong and it didnt upset her the same as it did me. She said that if we gave in Caitlin would think that she had won and would never go to sleep there again.

That was the worst day ever and I wish I had been stronger to jump in and take Caitlin home earlier. Bravo to anyone who can leave there child to cry like I did and 'WIN' but I wont be doing that to any of my children ever again. I think that she will only be more scared to be left alone in strange places now, and afraid of being left with that friend of mine too.

When she woke up we went home and had big cuddles and kisses and tickles and promised not to let her cry like that again.

[jessica]

Hi Vonnie,

I'm sorry you and Caitlin had such a depressing experience, obviously your friend had good intentions but mum always knows best!

Controlled crying isn't something you just decide to give a go all of a sudden, particularly in a strange environment with a crying shaking mum! It took us weeks to make the decision to try CC and we planned it properly - for starters always start with night time sleeps as these are easiest on mum and baby, always do it at home in her own comforting room and do it with a positive frame of mind! CC is also harder with older kids so I can imagine this was a horrible experience for you!

We just went away on holidays - my little one settled in well and still managed to put herself to sleep in a strange place! Her daytime sleeps were particularly good!! Were very proud of our little angel! We all had a great holiday! Persistence has paid of for us - and in new situations or diffucult times (needles, teething etc) I still don't let her cry for more than 10 minutes anyway! CC can work when done properly! :D

[Ivy-Rose]

Vonnie,
I'm with Jessica on this. It is a hard and very well thought out plan to use CC.
I don't think any of the CC parents would leave a bub of any age that long.
And your friend went around it the wrong way anyhow. Even if you was at home in her own bed and room you don't go in a play games and lay on the floor and leave them screaming that long.


Anyway you do what you feel is best next time. Never let anyone intimadate your parenting again. be strong for your little one. Your her voice.

Hope you are both feeling better after you bad experience.
Cheers Emma

[vickster]

Hi Everyone,

I have a new idea that I tried with Charlotte regarding cuddlies and such.

I was given a very flat terry towelling pillow and matching burp towel for a baby shower gift. I found the pillow the other day whilst packing away some clothes (put it at the bottom of a drawer coz I thought I'd never use it! :p ) and had a brilliant brainwave. I stuck the pillow in our bed and left it there overnight to get our smell in it. Then I gave it to dd to sleep on (don't worry it's only about 1cm thick!)

It's worked really well and we take it everywhere with us for her to sleep on, along with her little horsie to cuddle.

Thought it was a gr8 idea - they've been few and far between lately!

[jarrahsmumma]

hi jayne,

a few posts ago you mentioned the sleeping of your child and it is uncanny as my son is exactly the same, Jarrah is 4 months, sleep all night (7-5) but wont sleep very long during the day. i have tried a new technique of putting him in cot on side and facing him away from me. i pat him when he cries or grizzles and when it gets too much i pick him up and cuddle, when he settles again i put him back in and try again. this is mainly due to my back aching as i was cuddling him to sleep all the time.

i am hoping his sleeps will lenghthen as he gets older :rolleyes:

i have just had an hour battle to get him to sleep for 20 mins :(

it is exhausting

any other mum or dads like this?