Primal Parenting

[Goosie22]

A link to depression for CC advocates to ponder?

http://www.rickross.com/reference/gfi/gfi7.html

[WeThree]

mmmmm, interesting :) thanks for the link. whilst i agree with demand feeding, attending to my baby if she cries etc, i think the author of that piece needs to get a grip and take responsibility for his own actions and behaviours as an adult, and stop blaming his poor old mum!
lol, sorry but i think he needs to get a life! (jmo, please dont get mad at me :) )

[Goosie22]

Yes I totally agree, however some people just don't seem to be able to move on ie the number of people with serious psychological problems and mental health issues.

The issue of parenting has to be addressed.

PS I would never stoop as low as to be offended at someones opionion:)

[JanetF]

He actually says his mum was a loving, conscientious mum but that the people who told her how to parent recommended damaging stuff. I think it's well researched and very interesting to use himself as a sort of case study. And all that research keeps showing how dangerous detached parenting is to babies, and therefore to grown adults which those babies become.

[WeThree]

mmmm, i agree, it is damaging to bubs, but i just doubt the validity of his 'research' and wonder how much of it is just self indulgent babble!!

[rynosmum]

From this article, all I see is a guy who has analysed (perhaps overanalysed) his persona. He has then pegged all of his issues back to his childhood. In my personal opinion (and I don't mean to offend anyone here), I really believe that this person is a bit of a nutter.

Absolutely our children deserve as much love and attention as we can give them. If his mother was so wonderful apart from the poor advice she was given, would she not be hugging, kissing and playing with him during the day ? So it's really not showing a lack of complete bonding at all.

Just my opinion......

[xkwzit]

I thought it interesting that this link is from a website that aims to discredit cults (the "cult" here being the Ezzo's and their ideas). How credible are the posters here? There's a definate axe to grind IMO.

I have not read the Ezzo book and def do not support their ideas, but this article seems to me to be a personal gripe rather than a serious researched paper.

Cheers

[WeThree]

I agree xkwizit, if wanting to make a point about the importance of close contact, demand feeding etc, then i dont think this is really someone ppl should be directed to! i dont see how he could possibly be taken seriously
*ducking in case janet and goosie yell at me* ;)

[Goosie22]

I wouldn't dream of getting angry with anyone.

This article is one of the many that I have read about Learned Helplessness I posted it because its written in a very non-psycho bable way(?) like a case study sort of thing. I thought it was interesting because of the insite into this particular persons troubles. I would not be happy if that was my child in a few years, that is why I try to research articles and find both sides and pick which one I want to be on.

As for the EZZO books I have read them and I think my opinion on them need not be voiced again:mad:

[JanetF]

I don't even yell at my son let alone you rofl. :p

[Goosie22]

http://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/control.html

The ABA have a info sheet also outlining LEARNED HELPLESSNESS.

I'm not quite as calm as you JanetF I have an 8 year old son so I do quite a bit of yelling at home only of course;)

[WeThree]

lol @ Janet and Goosie, you are lovely ladies :)
Goosie, im afraid i too am not as patient as Janet, I also have a son who is 8, well just turned 9 actually, so i understand about ones patience being pushed to the limit every single day:o lol

[JanetF]

I only have a two year old :)

[WeThree]

lol Janet, i have one of them too, and they are very good at charming their way out of everything, they are so delicious :)

[our little treasures]

I believe some of what was said is true I always get anxiety over my babies crying too long and have always believed it was due to mum leaving me to cc when I was a baby. My mum has admitted that she sat in the corner crying when I was screaming (mum had 5 of us and I was always a screamer). Then I discovered that their is proof of the way you raise your children have an effect on how you were raised!

My opinion!! Each to his own!

[WeThree]

angelbaby, it is a very rare mum who doesnt experience extreme levels of anxiety and distress if their baby is screaming, whether they as a baby were left to cry in their cot or not ;)

[jessica]

This in no means is intended at anyone here but the writer of the article - how utterly pathetic to blame your poor mother on your failures in life - stand up and take responsiblity for yourself - the whole article just infuriates me - as a CC mum its not even his misunderstood idea of CC that bothers me but more his pathetic excuses for being such a weak, self pitying fool!!

I'm not going to defend CC as I know ths is not the place but surely judgement on CC should not be based on this nonsense - I'm all for researching and looking into both sides but PLEASE base your research on REAL RESEARCH (ie. that with scientific evidence and data) not the whinning of a fool!!:mad:

sweet dreams to all mums and their gorgeous bubs!!;)

again PLEASE do not take this as a personal attack on anyone here!:D

[Goosie22]

Hi Jessica,

There is plenty of real research to support this persons beliefs the facts are out there. The point of posting this was to draw attention to the helplesness of this persons condition and the to point out that if you have a child that is predisposed to mental illness(how will you know:rolleyes: ) that Controlled Crying isn't going to do them any favours.

These links discuss it also
http://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/crying.html

http://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/control.html

[bec05]

Although it is perfectly possible that this guy still feels traumatised by what happened to him as a baby, I think it is overly simplistic to suggest that his problems are entirely due to CC, or that CC always results in psychologically damaged babies or conversely that attatchment parenting always results in happy secure ones.

Personally I (like many people I'm sure) have struggled with low self esteem, depression etc at different times through my life and yet my mum was extremely loving, physically affectionate, fed on demand, etc etc. (In fact she has been the one telling me not to try CC even though I am reaching desperation point with my little one). I used to be very anti-CC but with the passage of time I am beginning to wonder if it has merit after all if only to let you sleep and hence have more happiness, love, calmness, security and joy to share with your baby (as I'm discovering, sleep deprivation is a sure path to insanity!!:( ). A crazy exhausted frustrated desperate mum is not much foundation for a healthy psyche either.

The talk of hunter-gatherer societies is all very well but these days the reality is that many of us don't have a village full of wise old women and rellies ready to support us and lend a hand and carry the baby, so the burden is on the mum (or dad or couple) 24 hours a day. I still feel that the hunter-gatherer way is how it 'should' be, but in the world we live in not all of us can achieve it and remain sane. I no longer believe there is one right answer for all situations or all people and think what all parents of all stripes really need is more support for their choices and their efforts to do the right thing, not more guilt. This article is all about guilt.

[Goosie22]

Guilt is a personal battle I can't do anything about! Suppressing information or opionions is not going to do anything if someone feels guilt. If people are truely happy with the way they parent or even the decision they have made in thier lives in general they don't need to seek approval from others. If people make informed choices and are fully aware of the ramifications then they will have to live with the outcome.

Children need their mothers attention and love, I don't agree with controlled crying in any form. And yes I have children one of which didn't sleep, feed every hour and I caried in a sling if I wasn't co-sleeping. I will tell you it was the most intense time of my life (12 months) but I would do it again to have such a beautifully sensitive little man on my hands.;)

This is a link to the NY times article on Feber(the father of Controlled Crying)
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/12/29/fashion/thursdaystyles/29sleep.html?ex=1138078800&en=38a55ae07ef45903&ei=5070


AAIM(Australian Asc Infant Mental Health) 2003
http://www.earlychildhoodaustralia.org.au/Controled%20Crying.pdf