When does co-sleeping stop?

[fletchersmummy]

Hi! I am new here, but wanted to ask a questions about co-sleeping.
My DS has never slept through the night and he is now 2.4 years...we still sleep together in bed, so that I can get some sleep mainly:o
I am a single parent, so the only issue I see is how on earth do I get him out of it?
And when is a normal age to stop?
I dont want him to be going to school and still sleeping with me, but I have no idea how I will get him out of here and into his big bed?
I also get constant criticism from family about him sleeping with me...:ecomcity:
What are some positives I can throw at them...apart from the fact we both get some sleep this way??
Thanks

[raisingwhirlwinds]

I think the general rule would be that co-sleeping stops either when you decide it does (and go through some stressful days) or wait for a fair bit of time. Maybe you could familiarise your little man with his own bed and room, make it exciting, play games on it etc and slowly spend more and more time there over time.

My DS1 has never slept in my bed but he's turning 4 soon and would give anything to sleep in our bed every night.

D

[gremily]

I'm not really sure how to get him to sleep in his own room.
But our almost 9 yr old daughter still sleeps with us a few times a month. She loves it and we love it to. She just likes to feel close sometimes.
If df is working late (after midnight) dd1 will hop into bed with me. Sometimes on weekends we'll sleep out on the sofa bed in the lounge. She likes to do this with df as well.

I don't think it has to stop. If dd1 decides she doesn't want to anymore then we won't pressure her to (not that we instigate it atm).

For your son, maybe you could put a mattress on the floor in his bedroom and start off sleeping in his room. Then after a few nights go and sleep in your room, and see what happens.

[lastchance]

Hi there,
(this is my first post on this site - how exciting!!) I love this subject. Our dd co-sleeps but we have a single bed right up against our double bed. She used to want to sleep in our bed so one of us would end up in the single bed but in the last 6 months she is happy in her bed. My attitude is there are only 3 of us in the house (unfortunately :( ) so why should 2 of us get to sleep together and one be on her own. But it is also for practical reasons as she gets herself uncovered during the night and it is much easier to reach over and cover her up instead of me having to get up to check on her. As there are only 2 of you, can't see any reason why you should not sleep together and as you get no other break you may as well have a peaceful nights sleep.
I suspect when they go to school they will be well and truly ready to go into their own room.

[gremily]

Hi there,
(this is my first post on this site - how exciting!!) I love this subject. Our dd co-sleeps but we have a single bed right up against our double bed. She used to want to sleep in our bed so one of us would end up in the single bed but in the last 6 months she is happy in her bed. My attitude is there are only 3 of us in the house (unfortunately :( ) so why should 2 of us get to sleep together and one be on her own. But it is also for practical reasons as she gets herself uncovered during the night and it is much easier to reach over and cover her up instead of me having to get up to check on her. As there are only 2 of you, can't see any reason why you should not sleep together and as you get no other break you may as well have a peaceful nights sleep.
I suspect when they go to school they will be well and truly ready to go into their own room.

That's a fantastic idea. Would you be able to fit his bed in your room fletchersmummy?

[kymmy]

WE had my girl's bed in with us when she was little.
None of our kids sleep with us now :(
We let the kids sleep where they like. Most of the time the big kids (7 and 4) sleep together in my girl's bed. My bub prefers to sleep in his cot.

[jojojonsey]

We have just weened our 3.5 year old out of regularly co-sleeping because we have a new baby in the bed. We did this well before the baby was born so it didn't look like we were kicking him out.

He took to it really well and is fine with it - it's my older daughter who still tries. The rule is now that the kids are only allowed in our bed if the sun is "awake" which works really well especially in winter when it is darker LOL. It was tough for a night or two when I would walk him back to his bed and sit with him til he fell asleep.

The key to it was that we always have given the kids their own beds and put them to bed in those beds each night so that they are aware of their space and it is then there choice if they come into us. Perhaps you could introduce his own special "Big boy" space for him to start to enjoy. He will eventually stop - it won't happen overnight but it will happen - just remember you are the boss and he won't love you any less!!

[cheezelkat]

Whats the best way to encourage them to move out?

[fletchersmummy]

Thanks everyonw so much for your replies! i forgot I posted this one...
I am glad to hear most think there is nothing wrong with him being n my bed. I was stressing myself out about it, but mostly because of everyone else putting their 2c in.
Thanks Again, I feel much better about him sleeping in my room!
I love it and I dont want to stop just yet...especially with winter around the corner, hes my little hot water bottle!:yes:

[kymmy]

Gotta love the hot water bottle :yes:

[shed]

Good on you. I co-sleep with my little bloke in our spare room. I am going to get the hard word from DP soon, I just know it, but for now we are all happy. Well, me and bubby are happy, DP tolerates it, lol

If I was a single parent I would co-sleep with him till he was about five or whenever he deserted his dear old mum and wanted to be on his own.

And I wouldn't give a damn what anyone said.

[allysophia]

I cosleep with my son - I LOVE him in there, I suspect EVENTUALLY DH will want to kick him out though.. Mmm..over my dead body :D

I coslept with my single parent and was never kicked out of the bed. When people came to sleep over, then I slept in my big-girl bed (which was always avaliable) but I LOVED cosleeping too much to give it up as a child - and was never denied the thousands of cuddles I wanted/demanded.

Why not let him cosleep into school ages?? Kids are SOOOOO cuddly! Don't change doing what you _feel_ is right just because family is pressuring you. I promise, he wont get teased or ousted at school (in fact, I don't think I ever even mentioned it) - and the other kids don't care or notice anyway!

[reAllytee]

I co-slept with my parents until i was 6yrs old & even then i would still sneak in or if i was sick i would sleep with them !

I was actually kicked out because i would always kick my mum during my dreams lol & due to her going back to work couldnt handle the sleepless nites.

It was done slowly & i cant even remember it to be honest so was quite happy going to my own bed !

They usually do it in their own time unless led by you.

[tybella]

We have just got our daughter out of our bed into her bed (she is 2 next month), but now I sleep in her bed most of the night. I start off in my bed and by 2am she is calling out for me. I am finding it really hard to stop this, I just give in because in the middle of the night I want sleep, I dont want to hear screaming in my ear.

My DS is 5 weeks old and he is ending up in bed with my and my daughter now too (she sleeps in a queen bed..I know its big but she got our old bed), I am just so tired now from her waking and him waking, that its easier for me to just sleep with them both to stop the crying and stuff.

Dont get me wrong, I love sleeping in the same bed as my daughter, I love the cuddles and knowing that she loves sleeping with me, but I would like it to stop soon.