Who's fed up being asked, "When are you going to have a baby?"

[Jacki]

I'm sure a lot of you, like myself, have not told anyone you're TTC. To be quite honest I didn't think it would take to long to try and get pregnant. We started TTC in January 2005 thinking we'd have a baby before Xmas 2005.

We're often asked by friends/family if/when we going to start a family. We smile sweetly and say, "maybe one day". You don't want them to know you're TTC because they'll keep asking, "any news yet?".

I've done well to put up with this for a year but it really got to me over the weekend. My step-sister has 2 children, she is 10 years younger than me and got pregnant with her 2nd 8 weeks after having her first baby! Her youngest just turned one and she's already trying for a 3rd, she would like 4 in total and will go for 6 if she keeps having boys so she can try for a girl. Nothing wrong with this at all, just upsetting when kept being asked the same old questions.

We then saw my step-brother and his fiancee who have a beautiful son who's nearly 2, after the usual questions, my step-brother said, "geez you're leaving it pretty late at 35!" Luckily he left the room because my eyes welled up. I almost ran to the loo but managed to compose myself, luckily only DH saw.

I haven't even told my mother we're TTC - and she never asks.

Thank god I have this website to be able to talk about it!

Thanks for listening:)

Jackie

CD23
9DPO

[Hokey Pokey]

Hi Jackie
I always get asked that and I have 2 already :eek:
Have you tried some alternative therapys to help you TTC? I have heard reflexology/naturopathy and stuff like that is meant to be good.

[H&B'sMum]

You poor thing Jackie. I completely understand. We were married for over 6 years before we had Harry. It drove me crazy with everyone asking. Especially when my SIL had her first when she had only been married for a few months. Everyone wanted to know when we would "catch up".
I'm now getting "So when's the next one, coming?" This one really drives me nuts as we have been trying for a while now and it's not happening. But we are not telling anyone and this makes it's doubly hard.
I think it's the worst thing you can say to someone and I only hope I'm never that insentive.
Good luck and I hope it happens soon for both of us.

[JATS]

I got that question at least 3-4 times a week after I got married, December 2003.

We had been ttc for 9 months and had had a miscarriage already by then! We started ttc before we even set the wedding date, had been engaged 2 yrs and decided we'd rather spend money on a baby than a wedding, ended up having the wedding before concieving anyway :rolleyes:

Used to just say "we're thinking about it".

Now we cop "so when are you going to try for #2...... they get the same answer.. "we're thinking about it", been ttc for 3 cycles now, nothing yet but fingers crossed we won't be ttc for 20 months again!!!!

My sister knows we are trying, she knew before too, and she was the only person I told about my m/c when it happened.

Are you charting? I'm doing it this time around and it really does help to think you are doing something proactive about ttc.

Take care

Amy

[Jacki]

Also thinking it's probably time to get a check-up, just in case thinks aren't working as they should with myself or DH.

Probably a little stressed at the moment too as we have my Mother and Step-Father living with us.

Myself and DH emigrated from the UK in 2002. Mother (living in the UK and married to Aussie resident) moved over in Sept 2005 and Step-Father came over in Dec 2005 due to work committments. Step-Father now needs to find work here and will be staying with us until he does. Hope he finds one soon!

[Jacki]

I have studied 'Natural Fertility Management' by Francesca Naish and started charting my temps in June 2004, this was fantastic to do because I really understood what was happening, especially with the CM!

My cycle is irregular and varies between 22-32 days, however, I've always known when I've ovulated due to temp charting and O pains and we've always BD'd at the right time.

Hence, thinking maybe we should have check ups.

[H&B'sMum]

Jackie,
Once you have been trying for more than 12 months the Dr's are more likely to give you attention and get you to have the tests you need. Most Dr's won't do anything until you have been trying for at least 12 months. That's my experience. For the second one it's if you have been trying for more than 6 months Dr's will do tests then.
Just getting a check up is always a good idea anyway. If you are into natural therpies may be you could also see a natropath or a herbalist to help you a little as well.
Good luck

[JATS]

I agree with you, its time to see a doctor.

You may be encouraged to know that after 20 cycles of failure I saw my doc and he made an appointment with a fertility specialist for me, 3 days before the appointment I was 8 days late, tested and got a positive! (had got bfn's every day before that)

Never give up, and if you need anything someone here is sure to be able to help you.

[JellyBean06]

I tried for 3 years only to find out I had PCOS - and just after I found out I fell pg! Both of our families were the opposite - don't have kids they'll ruin your life. But for my sister it's different, she's about to get married and everyone expects her to be a baby breeding machine!

[JATS]

don't have kids they'll ruin your life

That's my MIL's stance on the bub situation :rolleyes:

[Peaceangels]

I have studied 'Natural Fertility Management' by Francesca Naish

Jackie, after 4 years trying and finding out I had endometriosis we went to Francesca's naturopath centre in Sydney and it was the best decision by far.
They have a holistic approach (looking at the whole body) and their aim is to get the egg and the sperm (yes the men have to take part too ;) at optimal health.

After two IUI failed attempts, we fell pregnant naturally after following Francesca's diet plan and taking vitamins and herbal tonics specifically suited to us for one year. I had two very healthy pregnancies, healthy labours/birth's and two very healthy babies - all thanks to Francesca!

It took us 5yrs of TTC'ing with #1, then I fell with #2 when DS1 was 6mths old and by the end of those 5yrs I was sick to death of hearing "when are you going to have a baby", so I started saying "when the condom breaks" - stumped them every time! :D

[Puk]

I get asked that question all the time! The worst part is i've been off the pill since July and i haven't told anyone (except my best friend) and since then my brother in law's 17 year old girlfriend fell pregnant and my best friend went off the pill and got pregnant on her first cycle! I want to be the first to give my mum grandchildren but i'm getting scared my brother or sister will get there first (i'm the only married one)!
I understand how frustrating it is when people ask all the time but i try and put myself in their shoes and i think i would probably do the same thing. People just love babies and if your married it's just expected!
Hope it happens for you soon! :)

[ElizaDee]

I have been married for just over one year now and I still get that question! I got it from day 1.

No one knew that we were TTC and no ones knows that we are pg at the moment. We want to wait until we pass that magic 12 week mark. :) I know that is not a guarantee but that is what we decided to do.

[lukaelmo]

I have always wanted to reply to the baby question: "Are you asking me if we are having sex? Is that what you want to know?".

But I am too chicken :D

[H&B'sMum]

I have always wanted to reply to the baby question: "Are you asking me if we are having sex? Is that what you want to know?".

ROTFLMAO :D:D:D

[Baby Girl]

lukaelmo, one my best friends told her oldies that she was preggers by saying hey guess what....after living with (lets call him...) Bob for 5 years we finally had sex (big fib) and now we are having a baby..... her father said 'see should've kept your legs crossed' and her mum just laughed and then cried. Bub is a few years old now and her family still laugh about how they told them.


I have always wanted to reply to the baby question: "Are you asking me if we are having sex? Is that what you want to know?".

I don't think I would be brave enough to say that to someone who asked me if we are having another one but geeze is would be funny to see the reaction!!

[Seekrit]

I actually got fed up with my dad always telling me to 'wait a few years' to start a family. 'wait until you have a house' 'wait until you're ready'
About 2 months before we decided to try I told him that if I always waited I'd never be ready.

No one really egged me on to start breeding and I'm glad for that.

[JATS]

LOL Seekrit, maybe this thread should be called "Who's fed up unsolicited family planning advice?" :D

Reguardless of what is said I just always feel like saying something like "what makes you think I'd tell you" or "what makes you think your input/blessing is required"

:rolleyes:

The things we could say if socialy acceptable parameters were lifted!

[Pixie]

I have been with my DB for 8 years and we're not married obviously lol so we get the when are you getting married and until 6 months ago when will you have kids?? nearly every time we saw our friends..it becomes very draining and annoying! Now we are having a baby we just get asked are you getting married? grrr lol

good luck hope it happens soon for you!