Stop the screaming!

[SammieJ]

We have been using no-cry techniques since November. We have seen some great progress, and some not so great. Of late, our 11 1/2 month old DS has started to really scream when we try to put him to sleep. I put him in his sleep bag, give him a feed (I let him stay on as long as he wants), then I move to the exercise ball to rock him, or start walking around the room. The he arches his back and neck and SCREAMS and sobs quite hysterically. You'd think we were using controlled crying. It takes about 30+ mins to get him down.
He is a very active, happy and intelligent baby, and I think he has trouble winding down sometimes. I can handle it- just- but his daycare and Nan are finding it a bit tough to take. Once he's down he sleeps reasonably well, napping for 60-90mins, and waking 2-4 times at night.
He doesn't eat well, but eats enough and the breast seems to supplement him. He refuses cows milk, likes formula but it seems to upset his tummy. Does anyone have any experience with dairy intolerance in breast milk?
He has never slept well, but used to be happy enough being helped to sleep. Oh, he also pulls hair rather violently if he gets the chance, and likes to stick his hands in our mouth as we're rocking, which is hurting and annoying and we are trying to stop that too.
Hope someone out there can help

Sammie (27) :banghead: , DS (11 1/2 months) :smiliedance:

[buzzing bee]

Hi
I saw that you haven't had any responses yet, I think the hair pulling and fingers in the mouth is normal as for the crying I can't say. But here are a few ideas.

Are you putting him down when he is first tired but not over tired.

What about overstimulation

Teething

Separation anxiety

Not wanting to go to sleep

Or is there something different he is eating to upset him, watermelon upsets my dd

If you think it is a problem with milk than maybe a trip to your local child health clinic.

[leesieandkids]

Hi your baby sounds like my god-daughter was, after her formula was changed and she had a more full feeling she went off a lot easier. a friend of mines son had quite a few allergies (nuts,eggs,dairy etc etc) he couldn't even have breast milk he went on a medicated formula which helped a lot.
sorry i cant be much more help my 2 girls are easy to get to sleep.
good luck with it all.:fingerscrossed:

[SammieJ]

Thanks for your responses.
I mainly just wanted to know if anyone else had babies that cried quite a bit while being rocked. Lots of perseverance has paid off though, and DS is settling much better, still needing some help (demands a feed if I'm around) but is quite calm and will put himself to sleep for his Nan and Dad.
He's self settling at night, and even though he's sick at the moment he's only waking twice at night, once if he's well, to breastfeed. Considering he refuses to eat meat and I work most days, I'm pretty happy with that.
So all that talk those of us using gentle techniques get, that they'll never settle, you'll be doing it forever, really just aren't true. 6 months ago DS was just a nightmare- waking hourly, only sleeping in our arms, napping for 20 mins. Now he sleeps well at night, naps for 60-90 mins twice a day and is happy happy happy.
Plus he has never had to suffer alone because we didn't pick up that he was teething (very fierce teether) or coming down with a cold.
So anyone in the middle of a bad run, take heart. Things can and do get better. I think if you shift your focus from teaching them to sleep to teaching them to trust you'll be there, you'll get along alright.

:bfn: :fingerscrossed: all in good time...

[Becbabe]

Hi SammieJ,

Just read your post & picked up on you saying your baby would only sleep in your arms. Was this for naps? I ask cos that's what our baby girl is like. I am planning to start the NCSS soon to try and get her to sleep on her own for naps. What was the turning point for you guys in getting your DS to sleep on his own?

I would really love some help on this one as I dont' know anyone else who's been in this situation!

Bec.

[SammieJ]

When we started, DS was like that. He would automatically wake up the second he hit the cot, it didn't matter what we did. It was quite a long process, but here are some of the things we tried. He still needs help getting off to sleep, but is getting better, and once he is on the cot he will self settle. He does not sleep through the night, but when he doesn't have a cold he only wakes once. Being in child care, 90% of the time he has a cold!
*check that the mattress is comfortable. Out cot is old, and had no spring support, and he likes a firm mattress. We used wood to firm it up (not ply wood)
*check for noise, light, etc that might upset. Sitting with them for a nap and watching what happens in their sleep space is very boring, but what you may learn can be valuable. DS loves a dark room, and things need to be quiet until he is in a deep sleep.
*to get him into the cot: just keep trying. We would settle him, put him in the cot, and then when he cried we would try to settle him as close to the cot as possible. We would start with patting, then wrap arms around him and rock, then pick him up but not hug close to rock, etc. There isa description of this in NCSS, and also in some of the Sears' books. Persevere. Make an appointment with your physio or chiro, or at least a massage. You'll need it.
*When it gets too much, take a break. Do what works. Take time to reconnect, so that you aren't always stressing over sleep. I didn't do anything but basic cleaning while working on his sleep. I needed time to remember why I was doing things the hard way (because he's a beatiful little spirit and I love him) pLay play play.

Good luck, if you have any more questions, let me know. Staying home and making naps a priority was a big one for us too. It took about a week. no joke. I thought we would be months. Just persevere.

Good luck!!!

[Becbabe]

Thanks so much Sammie. That is some of the nicest, but practical, advice I've ever gotten.

Our situation is a bit tricky as I work full time & DP is the stay home Dad. My plan is to take a fortnight of leave & start doing the same thing, nap or nighttime, along the lines of the NCSS, to get her to sleep in her cot. Then hopefully the big work will be started & DP can continue the same routine.

Well we'll give it a shot anyway.:yes: ATM she is sleeping much better at night so we're all a bit happier & have the energy to move on.

So glad to hear a bit of a success story!