It makes me feel like cr@p...

[Pobblebonk]

:wave: How are you?

You know, it makes me feel like absolute cr@p when ex beings Mr Chicken back from from access, and he's clinging to his father, and when I go 'come to mummy' he doesn't want to come. :crying:

And then if ex passes him to me, he pushes me away and wants to get down and then wants his father to pick him up again.

Am I going to be 'boring old mum'? Why doesn't he WANT to come to me? Why does he run away from me? Am I that bad? Do I suck that much at being a mum that my own child would rather be with his father than me? Do I suck that much that my own child rejects me?

It just makes me feel like absolute SH!T. :crying:

[*Chels*]

How often does he see his dad?If its not that often,its like a novelty to him.Of course he loves you,but he spends so much time with you,that it would be exciting to spend time with Daddy.It must be hard for you tho-some days my DS is like that-doesnt want a bar of me!!!:hugs:

[claireandbailey]

when your son gets older and realises how much of a loser his dad is for putting you through all his rubbish, he prob wont even want to go to his dad's for access visits!!

I hate it in the morning when my dd's loserfather picks her up she doesnt want to go at all! she wont even look at him! She wont go to him and just holds onto my top! But when i pick her up she is happy and comes to me fine.

I am dreading the day that she says she would rather be at her father's house than with me!!

[BaDaBing]

I know how you feel :hugs: .

When my ds1 was about the same age he would be so excited when I dropped him off to daycare and when I would pick him up he would scream and hold onto the doorway not wanting to come home. I would :crying: all the way home. What made me feel worse was when DH would pick him up from daycare there would be absolutely no tears at all. I think it was just an age thing as he doesn't do that anymore and hasn't for a long long time.


How often does he see his dad?If its not that often,its like a novelty to him

I agree with this, I think its the novelty of seeing his daddy but I'm sure he loves you the best :laughing:

[Pobblebonk]

How often does he see his dad?

Once a week for 3 hours.

[she_rambles]

As above ... it's just coz Dad is a novelty and a change from the norm. You're not boring old Mummy, you're safe and secure mummy. If anything you could almost be flattered by it (almost - I can see how it'd feel crappy having him saying he wants to stay with dad!) - he's taking you for granted because he knows you're always going to be there for him and he can rely on you. He trusts you, even if he doesn't know what trust is.

If Chook broke his leg (god forbid), guarantee you'd be the first one he called for, even if dad was there. And if he was feeling sick while with Dad, he'd probably immediately start whining for mummy. What's the longest amount of time he spends with Dad? Without knowing anything about your family, I'm still willing to guess that if he spent a week with dad, by the end of that time he'd be crying for mum. If he had a nightmare, he'd probably just want you, if he got a fright from something, he'd want you.

Boring can just be another word for safe, sound and reliable.

[Mum2Bug]

Aww Aly :hugs:

The others are right hun, its just that he is a novelty to Mr Chicken at the moment. As upsetting as it is, try not to let it get to you. Deep down inside, the love Mr Chicken has for you is so much more meaningful and you have to remember that.

[Chanelc]

If Mr Chicken only sees his dad for three hours he probably misses his dad and sees you lots so he just wants that extra hug form dad... don't take it personally remember kids love unconditionally so they love our ex's regardless of what we think of them

[Amberlea]

My kids were the same when they were younger - I used to ball my eyes out wondering what on earth I hadn't dont/done to make them want to cling onto him (when he can be so heartless towards them at times).
It used to really bug me because he would instantly turn around and say "why don't they want to go to you?" (thanks for that stab in the heart A**sehole)

But now that they are older - they understand that they will see him again on the weekend - and they just fly out his door into my arms :D

So don't worry girl - it's totally normal and as Chanel said - it is most likely just because he doesnt get to see his dad as often as he sees you ... and (as She_rambles said) when hes sick/hurt - you will always be the first person he calls for even if daddy is there.

[Veritas]

Yep.... agreed on the novelty point.... something different is always gonna win for littlies simply because of the excitement factor of something out of the norm....

When he is old enough to understand a little more about the character of his dad I think you'll see things change....

And you most definitely do not suck as a mumma.... you are the best mumma little Mr Chicken could have.... and a wonderful person to boot!!

[Pobblebonk]

Awww thanks for all the words of encouragement, ladies!

[Issey]

Must be the age as my DS sometimes wants to stay at daycare after being there from 7.45 to 5.30pm!!

He also misses his Daddy so doen't want to leave his Daddy when he sees him. I don't know how much they understand and remember at that age so they just might not know when they will see them next. Worried they might not come back :confused: