Help please, I feel so sad and unhappy

[isian]

Hi
I feel so desperate and I hate complaining but I am so fed up with life. I am 19 weeks pregnant, 37 years, working full time, my first pregnancy and I feel so unhappy. When anyone says 'congratulations' I say its more like 'commiserations'. I feel so down, flat, tired and empty that I just sit and eat and eat and eat and carry on bingeing through the nights. I cannot stop eating and just end up feeling worse for doing it. I have put on 4kg in just one week and I hate it. But eating takes away those bad emotions. How do I stop it? I also think I may be harming the bub as I have started eating stufff that I know pregnant women are not supposed to eat. I feel so desperate and alone. I don't have any friends or family. I moved from the UK 3 years ago and have really struggled to move in circles where I can meet anyone. I used to have loads of friends in the UK and making new friends in Oz was one of the things that I thought I would have no problem with. I feel so desperately alone and overwhelmed by life and I don't know anyone with babies and I have never had much contact with them. I am also in the process of finishing building one house and then I have handover on another house in a couple of weeks time. This was the house that we moving into well before delivery date but I am scared I will be moving at 9 months. We have so much to do on it before it is habitable. I should be excited and loving life but I hate it all so much. My husband helps me as much as possible but I still feel so lonely and sad. I just want to walk out and start a new life. I really have had enough of it all.

Anyone got any ideas?

Cheers
isi :crying:

[catalicious]

I waslik this when I was pregnant with DS2 but for different reasons..

I took myself off to counselling as i read that not getting it sorted before you give irth almost triples the chances of PND...

As a result of going to counselling i did not get PND with Jack....,.

Thats the only advice i have..

[sunnyflower]

oh darl you poor thing,it;s no wonder feel so totally overwhelmed.

being pregnant is such hard work,it makes you feel so tired and working full time on top of that - you must be exhausted! is there any way you can go part time? yes it must be so hard with no friends or family,there are always plenty of meetings up with the mums on here,where do you live?

come on here as much as you want and have a vent,we are all here for you.i really hope you are able to move in to your new place before the baby is born so you can feel settled.best wishes

[wannabemum]

This pregnancy hasn't been a breeze for me either hunny, so don't feel alone! Have you talked to your GP about these feelings?

[PinkSuede]

You poor thing!

I felt exactly the same around half way through my pregnancy - overwhelmed was probably the emotion at the top of the list. I agree with Hollywood - if you think it is getting serious see a Dr.

I found that regular easy exercise helped enormously. Walking for 45 mins to an hour at least 3 times a week - it helped stave of those cravings and overeating too. Then finally towards the end of your pregnancy all that wonderful oxytocin (feel goooooooood hormone) kicks in and the world is, indeed, a truly happy place!

I've been reading the threads on BubHub for a while now but have only recently joined up and starting posting. The girls (and occasional guy!) on here are really lovely and supportive - hopefully you can find some other women in the same area as you and develop a bit of a network.

Lots of hugs for you Isi xxx
Kirstie

[isian]

Hia girls

Thanks for your words of help and encouragement. I have not managed to speak to my doctor as I am on a waiting list of two weeks! I do take myself for a walk 3 times a week as I really believe that exercise keeps depression at bay, but even that is not working. Just seems to make me worse. I just spend the time as I walk dwelling on the bad things.

I know this site can be a lifeline of help but I rarely get the chance to view it as I am too demotivated and worn out and at work i am busy all the time. (only on it now because my boss is away and so are my office colleagues!) I would love to go part time but they won't let me, and I feel trapped as I do get 6 months maternity pay if I stay up until maternity leave is due.

I just feel so so flat and hemmed in and there is no outlet for me to recharge my batteries and take time out from this mess of a life. I feel so so exhausted and overwhelmed and here I am still stuffing my face! I should know better but I cannot stop it.

Will it ever end?

Cheers
isi

[squidge]

Is the money worth it?

If you think that not working and concentrating on your bub and your health is more important at the moment i would not worry about the pay.

You need to look after you and bub. I also think if you feel that you may be worse off if you stopped working, because you may not have as much contact with people and more time to eat. It may be best to stay at work.

Does this make sense? I cannot make any sense out of what i just wrote.

[mikaylasmummy]

Oh hun I am so sorry to hear what your going through. I also suffer from PND ( I think anyhow ) and I know how you feel, try and have some time to yourself, go watch a movies go shopping for yourself, or meet up with some girlfriends for coffee and just have a chat to them...

Sorry wasn't much help but good luck

[Zoe79]

You poor darling.
I also moved out from the UK where I lived for 5 years and when I got back to Brisbane all of my friends had moved on. I came here to have my first baby as I couldnt face raising her in London where I worked firsthand with kids. All throughout the pregnancy (from the 5 week mark) I was unhappy and very moody. I was even snapping at the children I worked with and I could tell in their little faces that they knew something was up. Most of my problem was due to the fact that I hadnt planned the pregnancy and had never really had much intention of having a baby (very much a career woman!). However, I really did change personality when I became pregnant and I am sorry to say I didnt feel much better afterwards and was diagnosed with PND. My baby girl is now 14 weeks old, adorable and I have finally got my head together to a point where I feel happier within myself. I too put on a LOAD of weight during pregnancy and had swollen legs as well. I just felt ugly. I couldnt stop eating but thankfully I ate mostly fruit (now I can hardly stomach it!). It is totally normal to feel hungry all the time, and if you are like me, you dont even feel full after eating heaps.. that was scary. I didnt like exercise as my legs were swollen and I bascially went from being very fit and healthy to very fat and unhealthy! All I can say is that you are not alone, its all normal and you MUST let yourself go through these emotions without analysing them too much. Dont read into it as that will only pull you down even further. If you dont feel happy about being pregnant then know that this is totally fine too. I think we are always bombarded with 'glowing, happy, pregnant women' and it can drive you mad with guilt if you dont feel or appear the same. You WILL lose any weight gained once you have had the baby, especially if you BF. Your energy levels will return aswell.
Just take each day as it comes during and after the pregnancy. My best advice would be to MEET MUMS-TO-BE NOW! If there is one thing that really got me down when I had my DD in Jan this year, it was not knowing anyone in the same situation and feeling so lonely. Nothing prepares you for the first baby so please get out there and get to know people!
Sorry for raving on, I just know how you feel.
PM me if you need to write more. There are lots of women out there who know how you feel.
Take care
Z:hugs:

[Mrs AJC]

Isi have you thought about finding some bubhubbers who live in your area with youngsters so you can spend some time with littlies. It might put things into perspective. I am in Brisbane and would be happy to meet at a park or something for ds to have a play and a chat. I think you definately need to talk to your doctor about this before it takes over.
:hugs:
I get online when I can (try to everyday, but is usually every second day) but feel free to PM me if you just want to chat and I will get back to you :D