View Full Version : 'Naughty' sleep habits
Harmony83
02-01-2006, 13:13
I have noticed that there is so much pressure out there to get your babies sleeping on there own so young... (which is a bit unrealistic really, isn't it!) So I thought I would start a thread on the 'so called naughty' ways you get bubs to go to sleep. Maybe it will make some mums feel a bit better and not so much of a failure at the whole sleep thing, coz I know that I have:rolleyes:
I'll start, my beautiful DS is 9 months old and is still getting wrapped, he doesn't sleep without it, most of the time he uses a dummy. when he is teething or particulary unsettled he needs to be rocked or patted to sleep. At the moment, he has developed another bad habit (gosh so many!), he will only sleep after being wrapped, popped in the cot, and me (or DF) holding a bottle for him, he finishes the bottle in his cot, then rolls over and sleeps for a beautiful 2 hours! I am really lucky as my DF agrees with me, that we should 'do whatever it takes' to get him into a peaceful sleep without much fuss and crying... Oneday we will try and 'wean' him off his 'naughty habits', but at the moment it works for us and thats all that matters!
Anyone else care to 'top' or share theirs - pretty please... ;)
Hmmmm. I prefer to call these "ways to help your child sleep in a biological and age appropriate way" since that's what they really are ;)
My son has always coslept from the day he was born. He has been parented to sleep in whatever worked for him at the time - breastfeeding mostly but also patting, rocking, singing, in a sling, always in the big bed. We've never had any sleep dramas because I've never expected him to "sleep through" which only means a 5 hour stretch anyway! He is two and now sleeps from 11pm to about 6am, we have a breastfeed and he nods off again till about 9-10am. I nightweaned him last month which I hated doing but left until a. he was past the age of two since WHO recommends a MINIMUM of 2 years bf and I didn't want to deprive him of nighttime comfort or nutrition and b. I didn't want him to associate nightweaning with the new bub arriving later this year. That babe will also be fed 24 hours, cosleep and all that yummy stuff. Babies needs are very intensive in the first years but it is a completely different ballgame parenting a breastfeeding toddler from parenting a newborn. The more attention you pay to their needs early on, the less intensive input they need from you later. :)
A naughty thing to do, and I mean truly naughty, is to go to sleep on a couch with your baby. It's very dangerous and nothing to do with safe cosleeping.
I think there are some basic facts about babies that seem to have been lost somewhere lately.
1. Babies need to be fed 24 hours a day.
2. Babies wake up.
3. Sometimes babies cry but if you attend to their needs immediately they cry a lot less.
4. Independence, like sleep, can't be taught to anyone. It develops slowly as the capacity to think develops and as the brain matures.
moonblossom
02-01-2006, 13:42
Your doing what feels right for you and thats great. I dont EVER let mine prolong cry, Im a co sleeper so a bassinette is besides my bed, but when they wake during the night I bring babe to bed with me. I usually fell asleep feeding and it was the most natural thing in the world.
Believe me they do getout of this habit when they get older, all mine sleep in their own beds now LOL.
I'm one of these mums that will stop everything to confort a crying child. Even if i was driving i would pull over, settle babe then set off again. This was just my way. Even now I'm the same, with the older and younger ones. It hasnt done them any harm to be surrounded in love. And I'm blessed everyday with I LOVE YOU MUM. My heart sings and my soul soars. And yes I'm a sook LOL
I put on my "secret waterfall" relaxation cd, give DS a breastfeed till he falls asleep, then put him into his cot, if he goes to sleep (90% of the time he does) thats great, if he dosen't I just accept he isn't tired enough just yet and take him out of the cot.
I agree with Janet F that if you respond asap to a crying bub they cry less in general. People comment all the time about how happy my son is, I NEVER leave him to cry. If he wants something he's good at letting me know exactly whats wrong (teaching him baby sign language) so he dosen't need to cry.
He 'tells' me when he's tired, thats when I put the "secret waterfall" relaxation cd on!
I used to love it when DD1 would fall asleep during a feed (both breast and later bottle) as she was not easily put to bed in the evenings. DD2 easily goes to sleep in her own cot (and has from day 1), but she does need her dummy. She's 20 months old and I'm not even thinking about getting rid of the dummy (or as she says nummy :D ) yet.
Cheers
Foxymoron
02-01-2006, 14:48
I've said this before and I'll say it to anyone who feels guilty about picking up a crying babe/co-sleeping-any gentle paretning method....
Your baby is born with INSTINCTS, these are his/her compass... None of us has genetically adapted to being left alone to cry as babies! Essentially our babes are the same as any other baby animal, and I'm yet to see evidence of any other mother in the wild who puts her babes to sleep away from her, or her milk! To expect your bubby to settle without you is a side effect of our western culture, and generations of misinformation.
You are not naughty :D Enjoy the cuddles and stuff now, they grow up so fast!
Well, my all time favourite method for sleep inducing is ....the boob!!
I cannot believe how much bad press nursing to sleep gets, when clearly it is just how nature intended it, with the lovely sleep inducing hormones which are produced in both baby and mum, why on earth fight it? :rolleyes:
Harmony83
02-01-2006, 14:59
Oh I know we are not 'naughty' (just being sarcastic ;) )
I just started this thread cause when my little treasure turned 4 weeks, I kept getting asked 'is he sleeping through yet??' And being a first time mum, you kinda think, oh is he meant to, am I doing something wrong?? Even the CHN encourage you to get bubs off to sleep on there own... Most nights now he sleeps through, but he has lots of little comforts (which of course I love giving him!) and alot of people look at you strangely when you say 'oh yes he is still getting wrapped/has dummy/feeds to sleep' :rolleyes: ... So I thought it might be helpful for parents goin through similar things to know that they arent being 'bad' parents by trusting there instincts and following there babies needs, and that lots of other parents do it too! Once I stopped caring about what other people thought, I really enjoyed putting my little one to sleep gently and calmly!
YAY!:D I agree with all of you:) There is nothing wrong with giving comfort to a child. Babies can't be "naughty.":( What they need is LOVE love.:)
nemosmum
02-01-2006, 15:12
*Hand up* Naughty Mummy here too LOL although I prefer the term Cheeky :p
I co slept with O and BF to sleep but that only lasted for about 3 weeks (for night feeds) and until he was 6 months (for day feeds) as he just didnt want to co sleep any more.
I admit to falling asleep on the couch with O on the odd occassion when he was little (3 months plus etc) and just recently when he had his first ear infection he would fall asleep with me on the couch and sleep for four hours :eek: but it made him feel safe and secure so what the hell ;)
O still has milk before his sleep at night, its apart of his night time ritual and thats fine with me........
I love the fact O sleeps from 7pm till 7am, it really works for us!
I see my sisters little boy (almost one) and kind of feel guilty as she is up till midnight most nights walking around the lounge room with him in his stroller.......but it works for them, DN falls asleep without crying and my sis doesnt mind the late nights :)
What ever works for you!
S
Foxymoron
02-01-2006, 15:18
LOL Harmony, it seems to be the only thing many people ask about babies! "Is s/he a GOOD baby? Does s/he sleep through the night?" Among other stock standard questions. And I agree with you wholeheartedly, parents need to feel good about following their instincts and their babies cues :)
"Is s/he a GOOD baby?
Omigosh, I know...what is with that??? Like you are going to answer, "no, actually, he's a bad bad criminal baby":rolleyes:
The 'Is he/she a good baby' drives me completely bananas!
I look really confused, and say 'Of course, all babies are good!' :rolleyes:
Harmony83
02-01-2006, 15:24
Oh I know! I actually got really annoyed one day! In the shopping centre a lady asked 'so is he a good baby' (like you said pretty common question!) and I didn't know how to reply!! He's never slept well, but does that make him a bad baby - I don't think so (he just knows what he wants - ME!)... A babies sleep seems to be the main focus for people!
'Of course, all babies are good!'
Good one :D
The only way I can get almost 11 month old DD to sleep is by nursing her with a dummy and patting her bum until she falls asleep.I don't mind because I know she feels safe and secure in my arms.
Thats my "naughty way" :p ;)
I loooooooooove the good baby question LOL. Don't people realise what they're saying rofl. Cracks me up! People used to ask us that all the time (in the supermarket where yes, I'm going to tell you, a complete stranger, all the details of my son's behaviour :rolleyes: ) and we started saying, "No! He's a baaaaaaaaaaaaad baby who keeps a still in his room and sells moonshine to the other babies in between robbing banks..." As I like to say though, "He's excellent at being a baby!" :D
lukaelmo
02-01-2006, 20:18
Tee hee I loved what you said Moonblossom about your kids saying "I love you mum" that just brings tears to my eyes...
Little dude slept next to us for the first four months but just recently we vacated the bedroom and started sleeping in the loungeroom as I was waking up with every little snuffle he made, and then going to see that he was okay, giving him a poke to check he was still breathing and that would wake him up! Bad Mummy :p
Anyway, I put little dude down to sleep when he wants to, if he doesn't go easily I get him back up and give him some extra cuddles and calm time in the lounge before trying again.
Like most of you, I never let him cry, and for me it is just much easier to pick him up and wait for a while and then try again.
Is that naughty?!:D
Nickster
02-01-2006, 22:14
Ahhh, yes, ladies, the old "Does he/she sleep through the night yet?" question.
I just answer with "NO, do you?" with a big smile, making it a joke.
I am very "naughty" because I always respond to my baby's cries.
I am very "naughty" because my DD is breastfed to sleep
I am very "naughty" because DD still uses a dummy to sleep
I am very "naughty" because DD is rocked to sleep (isn't that why rocking chairs were invented?)
I am very "naughty" because, although we don't co-sleep in the same bed, I always like to sleep in the same room as DD. I just feel more refreshed, and less anxious.
I am very "naughty" because sometimes when she has fallen asleep in my arms, I just sit there gazing at her and smelling her and adoring her in her absolute beauty.
Yep, it's the "naughty corner" for me!!!:rolleyes: LOL!!
reAllytee
03-01-2006, 02:20
I actually used to end up in tears when people asked me whether bubs was a good baby :( because he would cry both nite & day even with me rocking, holding or feeding him anyways wont go into that here.
Im naughty because i would keep bubs with me which meant during the day he was in a baby carrier as it was the only way he slept would have continued using it if he wasnt over 10kgs :eek:
Im naughty because he still uses a dummy to sleep or even comfort himself so to all those little old ladies that tut tut at me :p
Im naughty because i used his rocker to get him off to sleep the nites i couldnt hold him & thats where he often slept if he didnt co-sleep.
Im naughty cause not only do i use a bottle to get him off to sleep at nite but if im out of options through the day he gets one in his cot to help him nod off.
Im naughty cause bubs never slept on his back during his first few months of life even in the rocker !!!! He would only sleep on his side & since ive been just as naughty letting him sleep on his tummy if thats what he wants.
Tea Lady
03-01-2006, 14:26
Poor ally - it's so bad how us mums identify our parenting ability with the amount our kids cry/ interact with others/ smile/ whatever. Doesn't help when people touch a nerve with their questions!
My bub likes to go to sleep with one of us singing, or playing with her toys (ie her playing with them, not us!) - don't know if that's considered "naughty" or not?
I loved Janet's description of the "bad baby". I'd love to see someone's face if you told them that. How stupid to ask if a baby's good.
reAllytee
04-01-2006, 17:02
Yeah its almost as good as when your out & bubs starts crying to which all the oldies say "Oh he is hungry poor thing" ummm yeah i let my son starve so noo you idiot he is probably more worried about they way your judging his mamma :p
Yeah its almost as good as when your out & bubs starts crying to which all the oldies say "Oh he is hungry poor thing" ummm yeah i let my son starve so noo you idiot he is probably more worried about they way your judging his mamma :p
Lol, very funny! I'm getting all that crap at the moment when I'm out and about and it's really annoying! Good comebacks ladies! :D
BTW, our naughty habits are developing as we speak!
ozzysmum
20-01-2006, 22:14
ooh yes i'm a bad mummy :) ozzy breastfeeds to sleep every night and still wants his dummy if he's not at least 90% asleep when he goes in his cot. during the day it's the dummy and the rocker... apart from today when i just tucked him in on the sofa next to me and we had a big 3 hour snooze :D
re: the 'is s/he a good baby' question... i once told a lady who kept asking it that we (his parents) thought he was the second coming but we were trying to keep it secret ;) apologies if any religious folk find that blasphemous but this woman was driving me nuts...
re: the 'does s/he sleep through' my spunky man's dad asks me this every single time he speaks to me since the day ozzy was born. i asked him a couple of weeks ago if he'd had any children of his own (which of course he does!) and if he remembered what age they were when they started sleeping through. he said 'no, don't be silly, their mother always dealt with the nighttimes'. i just said "really" and walked away but i've seen him twice since then and he hasn't asked again.;)
4. Independence, like sleep, can't be taught to anyone. It develops slowly as the capacity to think develops and as the brain matures.
This is so true.... I too let Eloise sleep whatever way she was happiest - I rocked her to sleep every night until she was about one. (She slept in her cot, co-sleeping was not for us.) She let us know when it was time to stop wrapping her, and we did without a problem. And she let us know when she didn't want to be rocked any longer. She's now in the process of weaning herself of her dummy, she only has it at nap-time, and usually spits it out when she's almost asleep.
We just let her call the shots as far as sleep is concerned, I don't think that anything is really "naughty", it's what works best for your little one.
Our baby is five months on tuesday, and the question we've been getting lately is "so why is he still sleeping in your room"?
I never thought that having your baby in your room with you would be considered a bad habit! He's always been in his bassinette and then cot (I had too many horrible nightmares when we tried to co-sleep), and has been sleeping through the night (7:30 till 5:30 ish) since three and a half months, but I love having him right there in the room with us. Sometimes in the morning I wake up and he's already awake watching me and smiling! I don't want to give that up anytime soon!!:)
reAllytee
20-01-2006, 23:45
Tell them he will be still there when he is a teenager also as you plan to just make room for a single bed later & watch their reaction :p
Im horrible arent i ?!?!?!?
hehehehehe
I was going to put bubs cot in our room even just a month or so ago due to him being restless from teething & then a virus. Oh boy didnt everyone want to offer their advice then !!!! "oh he will never want to leave" " you will never get any time then " " how will you get your routine back " etc etc.
I was like yeah pretty much like when i was pregnant with him he was never going to leave then also right ? :rolleyes:
I mean honestly some people need a life cause they are often too busy trying to tell others what to do with theirs !
Baby Girl
21-01-2006, 00:02
I am sooooooo naughty and proud of it!! Phooey to anyone who tells me I am doing things wrong - I just simply ask them what they do/did with their kids and reply with something like - oh and I haven't one word to say about it or really, I do/did this....!!
DD1 had a bottle in her bed before she fell asleep right up to 3 years old and now she has a glass of milk in bed beofre she goes to sleep. She slept in our room until she was over 6 months old. She was wrapped until about 4 weeks and then only semi wrapped - much too soon by some people's standards. She was nursed to sleep the whole time she bf. I would rock her to sleep until she was ready to go to bed on her own. I used to let her fall asleep in the loungeroom and then put her into her bed. I didn't let her cry (still try not to).
DD2 has a dummy for sleep time. She was never wrapped. She slept in our room until last week (7 1/2 months). She is happy to go to sleep alone in her room so I don't havea s many bad habits with her, although I did give her a bottle in her cot a couple of times this week for her after lunch nap as I needed her to be awake by a certain time so put her down a bit early. I don't let her cry if I can help it (sometimes that is hard with a 3 yr old too!!).
Both of my girls have slept in our bed with us at different times, I pretty much follow their cues and if they want cuddles at nighttime (or any time for that matter), there will always be room on my pillow and my arms will always be open for them.
I soooo agree with all you Mums! I believe in "whatever works"... And most importantly, "don't feel guilty about it"!
My DF works shift work so it has always been easy for me to pop our ds into bed with me when he needs it. This happens more often than not and I love having cuddles with him... He always falls straight to sleep when I lay him next to me and I think it's because he just needs to know I'm there. I'm enjoying it while it lasts as I know that he'll grow out of it soon... Even Dad gets in on it now (on weekends) and enjoys it when we all wake up together! Isn't this what family is about???
I can't say that we have too many "bad habits" (not that I like to call them that) as he has always been an angel baby. But I must say, if something works for me, I have now realised to stick with it regardless of what others say.
I have had many comments (usually from people who don't have kids) and used to take them to heart, but now think that it's our way of parenting and everybody has their own. I initially had so many "ideas" of what I would or wouldn't do... This soon changed once I became a mum and now wouldn't change anything!
Keep doing what you're all doing if it works and don't feel bad!
Kye
I loooooooooove the good baby question LOL. Don't people realise what they're saying rofl. Cracks me up! People used to ask us that all the time (in the supermarket where yes, I'm going to tell you, a complete stranger, all the details of my son's behaviour :rolleyes: ) and we started saying, "No! He's a baaaaaaaaaaaaad baby who keeps a still in his room and sells moonshine to the other babies in between robbing banks..." As I like to say though, "He's excellent at being a baby!" :D
LOL we did something similar... but I got sick of it so now I just nod with raised eyebrows... I might borrow you last line for a while though :)
I co sleep with Jade sometimes, especially in the morning after her first feed, if I want a liitle bit of a sleep in.. I don't think there's anything wrong with it.. I did say that to a CHN once and got 'the eyebrow' so I just don't mention it anymore.
I also rock, pat and feed her to sleep at various times. At other times she puts herself to sleep *shrug* it's all good.
I can't remember what happened to me at five months.. I'm sure she won't either, I would rather cuddle her than hear her cry.
Our baby is five months on tuesday, and the question we've been getting lately is "so why is he still sleeping in your room"?
I never thought that having your baby in your room with you would be considered a bad habit! He's always been in his bassinette and then cot (I had too many horrible nightmares when we tried to co-sleep), and has been sleeping through the night (7:30 till 5:30 ish) since three and a half months, but I love having him right there in the room with us. Sometimes in the morning I wake up and he's already awake watching me and smiling! I don't want to give that up anytime soon!!:)
ditto, ditto and ditto.
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