Army Vent!!!

[neeshNgeorgia]

Hi guys, it's been a while since i've posted in here, but i just had to have a little rant about how bl00dy disorganised the army is.

Ok well yesterday we attended the FULL day ANZAC parade, starting at 4 30am for the dawn service then onto a neighbouring town (54km away mind u) for DP march, the onto the next town for another march. I loved it, this was our first ANZAC day in the defence and i was really looking forward to it, DD was PERFECT all day she even slept through DP's last march (which took about 1.5hrs). OK so that was all great and we really enjoyed it, apart from DP nearly fainting, but all was good. THen it came time for us to all to the RSL for a catered luncheon and Drinks, Which we were informed weeks ago that is was $10 for wives and CHILDREN WERE WELCOME, we were happy with this, however whne we arived at the RSL wives and children were not catered for!??!:shame:
There were about 8 wives and 10 children all hungry, waiting to be seated. We were soooooo angry as we had preciously told we were welcome, when we obviously were not! So after a lot of haggling from our DP/DHs we finally got seated, though 3 of the girls had left as their children were just too unsetled and needed to be fed.

I just thought that this was so unexceptable, later i was told by a few of the other wives who's partners had been in defence for a few years, that this was nothing out of the ordinary and they weren't surprised at all.

I'm sorry but i was so Peeved, we are always told that the defence is so family orientated when half the time the spouses and children are totally forgotten. Really annoys me, i'm making an appointment to speak to some one at DCO because i would like to be able to attend these so called "family functions" in the future and not be forgotten!!
Has any one else had something like this happen in the defence?

Thanks for listening to my rant, i feel a bit better now.

Cheers
neesh

[MilkOnTap]

I'm sorry but i was so Peeved, we are always told that the defence is so family orientated when half the time the spouses and children are totally forgotten. Really annoys me, i'm making an appointment to speak to some one at DCO because i would like to be able to attend these so called "family functions" in the future and not be forgotten!!

Has any one else had something like this happen in the defence?

Let it all out Neesh!!!

That is so wrong what happened; but like the other defence wives pointed out it is so common.

DCO sounds like a good place to start - but if they dont act, or do ANYTHING then persist! I have found that the only way to get my point across (or get anything for that matter) is with persistence! Yes, they probably think of me as "that nutty navy wife" :rolleyes: but when things like this happen its just frustrating!!

DFA (Defence Family Association) actually organised a family day at the local army barracks a few weeks back. They were going to have jumping castles, sausage sizzle, lucky door prize and heaps of stuff for the kidlets - so I organised with a few other defence wives to go with them and their families. We were all really looking forward to it! I received an invitation in the mail with all the details and NOWHERE on the invite did it mention anything about RSVP'ing. So of course we didnt bother.

We rocked up on the day (fortunately the barracks are only 5 mins from home) and were told that the family day wasn't on. What the!?!? Called DFA/DCO the following business day and asked what happened - apparantly not enough people RSVP'ed so they cancelled it :mad:

The kids were so upset we ended up just going to Macca's and letting them have a couple of hours on the playground. But thats beside the point.

There is a DFA meeting here in Sydney next week (May 2) that I'm planning on going to - I'm just hoping that they dont cancel that too!!


ETA - Do you get the Defence Family Matters magazine? It comes out once every 3 months and has some useful info in it. If not - get in touch with DFA to organise to be put on the mailout list - http://www.dfa.org.au/

[ConcernedParent]

Hi,

What I think you are referring to is the annual interface between Defence and the RSL that takes place each Anzac Day. When you enter the RSL, you are on their territory over which Defence has no influence. I am really disappointed this has happened to you today, I was beginning to think the RSL was getting better at this.

My experience 10 years ago...
I have had one nightmare experience where I had the bollocks yelled out of me by an RSL President because I dared to partake at their breakfast buffet. He felt the need to loudly and publicly shame me into the knowledge, “the buffet is for Veterans and their families only - I was way waaay too young to be the partner of a Veteran”. I had to explain that my husband was a veteran, to which he replied, loudly and publicly, “which conflict?”, and when I said “Cambodia” he pretty much backed down. No apology or anything like that, just let me proceed, “this time”.
At the time, my husband was waiting at the table on the other side of the club with our two young children, (the reason why I was getting the meals). I defiantly returned with their meals. At that time, it was pretty clear to us from the older people around us that young children were barely tolerated. I told my husband what happened and asked him not to purchase any more drinks from their bar, (Anzac Day is the best day for RSL Revenue). We made some phonecalls to friends - who were on their way, (we did have a mobile then), and made alternative plans. When the kids finished breakfast, we left.

I guess what I am trying to say is that it is probably not a Defence matter. In the past, the RSL has agreed to all sorts of things, but in the end, in a lot of cases, in my experience it has been all about the older soldiers having their day in the sun and sometimes the younger families get left out of the mix.

My experience this year...
Our local RSL is very receptive to feedback and very welcome and accommodating of the younger ones and their families. This year we had a free family bbq, (just snags in bread – but kids like that), jumping castle and someone ran kids games. We stayed longer than we usually would and spent more money at their bar in the process.

If you want to proceed with this, it probably would be more effective of you provided your feedback to your the RSL involved, preferably in a letter to the committee, and see if you can bring about some positive changes for next year. Good Luck with it. :)

[neeshNgeorgia]

Thanks for the replies girls, i haven't as yet made an appointment with DCO but i will simply because there are a few other matters i need to speak to them about But DP also suggested sending a letter to the RSL just with a little feedback, simply letting them know that we weren't impressed with the way we were supposedly "cattered" for just so they know for future reference.

I mean i know that the Veterans like to think of Anzac day as their day, but soon the younger generation will be the one's expected to continue the tradition and if younger ppl are made feel as though they arn't welcome at these things today, then how the hell will the tradition be carried on, i would like my daughter to know the meaning of ANZAC day and be proud to be an Australian on that day, but the way things are going ppl will not have the chance to learn about it and the traditional marches and parades will soon die away, it's kinda sad.

But ne way, thanks again for the replies, i'll fill u in on how i go!
Cheers
neesh

[sharvs]

Hi Neesh

We had the same thing 2 years ago on ANZAC day. We were in Singleton and were told we could eat at the RSL - not the case. It was fine for the serving member but not the family. I was pregnant (only about 6 weeks), starving, almost fainted out of hunger but had to drive myself (all the guys were drunk already) to the nearest Maccas to get some food.

I know ANZAC day is about the diggers but what about the sacrifices the families make so they can go & do their jobs? Most diggers I have spoken to (past & present) say they couldnt do their job without the support of the families.

[Olismum]

Hi, it's different at each RSL and as someone said earlier it is up to the RSL. I've been made welcome every year as a wife. We've had to travel to many small towns and also this year to Cairns which is a 4.5 hour drive away. The RSL here in Townsville though has brought in a rule that No children are allowed on the premises on Anzac Day which I think is unfair. I believe that all defence children should be allowed to march and be welcome at any RSL. Defence children are the future and they are the ones making the sacrafice as well today. Many go for months without seeing a parent who is away serving, but they get no recognition.

[tootiredtosleep]

I haven't been excluded by the RSL, but I know that every year DH has lots of issues organising the ANZAC Day service and trying to please them. They just do things so differently and he complains endlessly about it, but never to them!! He just works around them, and changes things at their demand, even if it means he has replan everything.

Definetly give them your feedback. I think too many people (my DH) let them get away with been rude.

[kat82]

[Quote]I'm sorry but i was so Peeved, we are always told that the defence is so family orientated when half the time the spouses and children are totally forgotten.[Quote] Dp has been in th Army 18 years and has never really found them family orientated. It all ways has been and as I got told the other day all ways will be Duty first. Family 2nd. I know 3 guys which are getting out because there sick of there family all ways coming 2nd