I Want To Live On The Moon !

[reAllytee]

Well so much for this being the start to a better year for us !
I have pretty much spent all of this afternoon crying & all i want to do is runaway & hide !
As a few of you may have read we have been having problems as my partner has aggravated his back & is in extreme pain 2 wks ago he was put on endone which usually is only given to terminally ill cancer patients as it is a very strong opiate. This stopped working even though he is drugged to his eyeballs it no longer works on his pain & it now has come to him being in severe pain just to breathe. Awesome !
Anyways i thought well no matter what we are going through its great we have my family who have been helpful even if my partners hasnt been etc as i have made a post also on how great my friends have become since bubs arrival. So really i couldnt believe after everything that has gone wrong for us in 2005 it could get any worse, how very wrong i was !
We decided with the weather being as it was & it being new years we would go to my mums which has ducted air con to be comfy as well as welcome the new year in with loved ones. It was a great day yesterday we had laughs lunch & dinner no dramas we even played monopoly last nite even if a little intoxicated.
Then today again all was fine we all had a nice light lunch of leftovers & were just sitting back trying to keep cool then boy did it hit with a bang. One of my sisters took it upon herself to take offence to my partner for some unknown reason to us & not only started screaming at me as i walked through the house to grab a bottle for bubs but then as i came into the lounge room to get away from her she started on my partner screaming abuse & being very very aggressive. Not only was this infront of my mum, other sister & her fiance but my 10yr old nephew & my bubs all of 9.5mths awesome ! I just became hysterical & ran to a bedroom asking her to stop as i cant deal with this atm with everything we have on our plate but she just kept screaming at my partner how he is a b***ard & isnt fit to be a parent who just sat & took it then got up & left coming into me still hysterical trying to cope with a hysterical baby. Awesome.
My mum ended up in tears as did my sister & well my nephew just lost it of course he took it personally & thought he had done something wrong !!!! :(
We have since come home & im pretty much not sure what else to do i cant even get the full story out as im still so upset.
Im seriously thinking of my partner & i cutting ties with both of our families we have it bad enough with his parents let alone now having to deal with my family.
I just dont need this especially not now.

[whatwasithinking]

Your sister needs to exterminate the bee that was in her bonnet today!

Calm down and I'm sure DP will tell you the full story later.

[Foxymoron]

What an awful day ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))
Sending you and your poor injured partner some healing vibes ~~~~~~~~~~~

[Oscar's mum]

I too just want to send you a big hug



(((((((((((((HUGZ)))))))))))))

You poor thing, I am crossing my fingers that your year gets a heap better.

[Blessed Mum]

Oh Ally I'm sending you a great big hug - I have read some of your other threads and this definately was not what you needed. Its sad that sometimes the people we need most in our lives at times let us down, I'm sure everything will work out. Always hear with an ear sweetie. PM me if you like. Try and stay calm and see how things look tomorrow:)

[W & T's sleepy mummy]

oh allyoo, I hope you are doing better tonight. With all you have been going through you didn't need that. Your partner seems to love and care for you very much - I envy you that and you seem so strong in taking care of one another - I know it can't be easy.

Your sister is the one at fault- even if she was angry about something there was no reason for an outburst like that in front of kids, but maybe your mum & other sis should be ok? I don't know the whole story, but don't let one person ruin your whole family for you. Big Hugs to you, and I hope you, bubs, partner & nephew are ok.:)

[Jaileth]

I hope that everything looks better for you today - and that your partner isn't in as much pain.

As for your sister - doesn't matter how upset you are, you don't go off like that in front of kids!

Good luck sorting it all out - take care and hang in there!

Best wishes for you and your partner and your bub!

[lukaelmo]

Allyoo poor little chicken - you didn't need this at all.

If you like I will drive you to the moon ;)

[reAllytee]

Thanks everyone. I feel like all im doing is whinging these days but gawd i love bubhub as its my only release ! :o
I talked with my partner this morning so he explained a lot of what went on as i just ran into the bedroom to get away from her & calm bubs down. This is what i think motivated her to attack him in that i walked away & he was then the next person for her to see. She "blames him for everything that is wrong with our family" ... errr sorry but there isnt any ?!?!?!?! " he is the one tearing our family apart" & that "he isnt a fit parent & shouldnt be a father !!!!!" Oh if only id been in the room for that one ! "What sort of man is he if he wont be able to provide for his family & will end up on a disability pension ?????" WTH !!!!! This is amusing considering our mother is disabled !!!! She also kept screaming how she hated him & how much of a b***ard he is & to get out of the house ( my mums house mind you) repeatedly. All my mum could do was cry she was devastated. She cant seem to say sorry enough to my partner but its little comfort IYKWIM.
Sorry but she has problems obviously we didnt realise how bad they were but im not putting up with this crap anymore she has already abused us once before & we forgave her. So obviously my partner doesnt feel comfortable having my sister here in our house so she will no longer be welcome which isnt too bad really considering she lives in Melb im just worried about my nephew as it was she sent him in to ask what was going to happen with him seeing us !!!! WTH !!!! What sort of parent sends their 10yr old to ask if he would ever see us again as they wont bring him to see us now this has all happened !?!?!?! Plus my partner doesnt want bubs around someone who could be so vicious towards people or even say something about his dad to which while he is under the age of well pretty much 18yrs he wont understand.
Apparently she feels my partner talks down to her etc which is funny as i dont see it & he doesnt really talk to her that much since she first abused him. The first time happened because well basically she didnt like that i had met him & was happy so it meant i wasnt spending all my time with her etc ... gawd forbid im happy ! Anyways she has been very depressed of late & having trouble with her fiance's family treating her like crap so she seems to have reached a boiling point & lost it at us. Awesome.
Mind you half her problems all stem from the fact she is with this guy, the way his family treat her, all the while she is down in Melb away from her family trying to cope with that & a son who has ADHD etc. She has also admitted to moving down there to hide after my father died etc.
Again im sorry she feels this way etc & no i dont hate her but im not putting up with this. What did she think she would prove by doing this ?!?!?!? That my partner would leave me or i would leave him ???? That i would run back to her knowing that she is sooo right etc ????
Blah. :(

[Clio]

I am so sorry to hear of you troubles with your family. I have had problems with my family in the past and the easiest thing for me is to distance myself from certain members of the family. No matter what I did, nothing was ever good enough and then when I stood up for myself that would make it 100 times worse, so the only alternative I had was to ignore them and not go out of my way to see them.

Although I am not saying you should exclude her ( just speaking from my own personal experiences) but maybe wait a few days until she cools down and have a chat wth her- if you feel it would solve this dispute/ or is worth it.

If it is any consolation, there always seems to be at least one troublemaker in every family. Although it is hard try and not let it get to you. :)

[reAllytee]

Sad thing is i actually got a phonecall from my other sister this morning she is stuck as the meat in the sandwich it seems !
As my 2nd sister is up from Melb she is staying at my mums with my oldest sister with her fiance & my nephew so yeah she got my oldest sister to call me & ask when i would be free to see my nephew as she would bring him round not his mother !!!!! Anyways i said anytime until the weekend which is when they leave anyways im free but was about to head off to doctors with my partner so it wouldnt have been today. So my eldest sister asked if he was going to be off work this week to which i replied well we dont know until we see the doctor as to whats going on etc she was like yeah i understand that but i cant bring him over while he is there !!!!!!!!
Well i lost it !!!!!!!!!! :mad:
For starters since this has all gone down my 2nd sister has not even tried to say sorry nor make amends nor even been an adult & spoken with me about her son my nephew. I told my eldest sister that well its pretty obvious she isnt sorry for all that she has said & done so this just proves it & she has burnt her bridges on this. So i also added that thats fine anyways as we had decided she wasnt going to be allowed around our son anymore as for her to react in such a way was a disgrace & especially as it was in front of 2 children plus we also dont want to have to explain to a young child who cant comprehend why someone is screaming & saying nasty things to daddy etc. Sorry but you cant say you hate my partner but still love me & your nephew especially when your nephew is half of the so called person you hate ! Plus i wont play games where my nephew is being used as a pawn !
What we also find so disgusting is that it seems she has felt this way for some time yet the other day was quite willing to take 50 dvd's we burnt for them as well as a brand new in package anti virus program for her computer with us saying "no no you have helped us so many times this is a thankyou" we are talking over $200 worth of goods !!! But of course thats ok :confused:
Not even sure what my eldest sister & mum think of us now but oh wells if they take her side then so be it !

[LilShenanigans]

your mum and sister are probably caught in the middle... they may say to you calm down and except that your sister is a nutter, and they may say to your sister "grow the hell up!".

I have a friend who is related to such a person, not saying Im not related to a few nutters I've blocked from my life, but not a sister.
My friend basically has the sister aka Golden Child.. They think the sun shines out their butt, thinks that whatever they say will happen and if they kick up enough stink everything will go their way...

She is of course obviously peeved about something in her life, she may also be struggling with something she can't bare to tell anyone so reacts to other things a lot worse...
Since the relationship between you two is more then likely on the skids, I'd hate to make someone else in your family the meat in that sandwich, but maybe ask someone to help counsel your sister... she may need professional help in the long run.

I hate the word nutter, but what she did was NUTS.
I agree though, cut her off for as long as possible, tell her your situation about her child, lie and say your husband won't be there - but make sure she sticks to the rule of not entering the house :p

Meh, sometimes it will work itself, other times... exactly that "meh".

[reAllytee]

The joke is on Christmas day we got into a big convo her & our relo's that is as my cousin is a minister & counsellor we all started talking about things due to her son having ADHD & people pointed out she has to step up in order for him to have order in his life etc anyways he offered her counselling as she admitted her life sucked & how life in Melb was horrible etc but refused the counselling & even had the hide to say she couldnt move back to Syd as she cant afford it & wouldnt be able to find a house like the one she has down there as she "needs" to have at least 3 br as well as a large games room as they now have a pool table !!!! WTH ?!?!?!?!?
Sorry but material things will never & i mean NEVER come before my sons well being or even my own !!!!!
We can hardly survive in Syd but we do it due to family etc it meant we had to buy a tiny townhouse & we dont have all the luxuries we want but at least we are happy as well as having a place to call home.
I guess whats mainly coming out of this is that she is so unhappy that when she sees us even with us struggling etc we are happy because we have each other etc plus we actually take responsibilty for our lives as in if it was as bad as she makes her out to be then we would actually do something about it & not blame others for it. I mean what point is proven blaming someone who you only see twice a year for all the problems with our family as well as your own ?!?!?!? Think a screw is loose there .... Here i was thinking i was the only nutter in our family hehehehehehe :p
Im still very hurt & upset by it all but when it comes down to it im letting it go as its not really my fault she feels this way & why should we make ourselves unhappy just because she is.
Hopefully better days are to come ( crossing fingers ) although my partner gets back from doctors soon & im dreading the news :(