What to do what to do

[bambino]

I don't know if this is in the right spot or not......

DH and I have been discussing the age gap we would like between our first and second bubba.
DS is 6 months old now, and we thought we should start TTC #2 when he is 9 months-ish, in the hope of around an 18 month age gap, which is how it is for my sister and I and DH and his brother.

BUT..... the more I think about it, the less I feel I want another baby. I'm happy with just the one at the moment. He's everything to us. He was a lot of hard work but we've made it.
Growing up I didn't really want to have babies, or to get married at that, but when I met DH, it was love at first sight, so it all changed. We dated for 8 years, got married, now we've had DS and we're celebrating 10 years together this year and our 2nd wedding anniversary.

Is it normal to start doubting whether to have more babies or not ? Have you had these types of feelings before ? How did you overcome it ? Did you end up having another baby, whether for your own satisfaction, or to please DH ?

I suppose I don't really know what answers I'm looking for but it was good to get it out in the meantime.

;)

[mumo5]

ok.. I hope this helps.
I have 5 kids. Always wanted 6 till my 3rd one. oops got preg with my 4th. It felt right though. But as soon as he was born I knew I had finished. BUT.... When #4 was 4.. I fell preg with #5. I was very upset for nearly my whole pregnancy and now he's here he just feels so right.

There's 2 and half yrs between my 1st and 2nd, there's 2 yrs between my 2nd and 3rd, there's 18 mths between my 3rd and 4th and there's 4 and a half yrs between my 4th and 5th. I found the 18mth gap ones have alot more to do with each other (girl and boy). It was alot harder for me though having them close together compared to the others. But obviously the 4 yr age gap was alot easier (as a mother)

I really hope this helps. It does get confusing fighting your brain and your heart. Good luck. :)

[flib]

Yes it's normal to feel this way.

Enjoy your baby, there's no rush! The main reason for so many kids being 18 months apart is that the average return of fertility is when your baby is 9 months old. If you're not using contraception, then BINGO! We don't have to follow these patterns because our parents did.

I was with my partner for 8 years before we had our first. In my 20s, I thought I didn't want kids at all!

There's 4 years between our first 2 which was great - my son got lots of attention and while they fight, my son never seemed to feel that intense jealousy with DD1. There's 2.5 and a bit years between the next 2. The baby is only 6 months so we're yet to see the fallout!

Honestly if I could I'd have more. But we're stretched enough already and I'm 41 so three is enough!

I'm so happy that I have three but can also understand why only 1 is good too.

Good luck with your decision!

[mumma_jessy]

I had no second thoughts, until i was actually pregnant that is...

I knew i wanted more and i was ready, i also knew i wanted my kids close (all 20 months apart)

It felt right to me, just as it did conceiving the third bub too. So I guess i can't really relate to your dilema, but suggest you wait until you think your ready... goodluck!

[ilovechocolate]

Hi, I have 2 boys 17 months apart. They are now 2 and 18 months. It is great now they are best friends and play together but this has only really started the past month or so.

It was very hard in the beginning. I thought my oldest was alot older then what he was when Justin came along. He was only 17 months and I thought he was a toddler and could help me!! my baby is now 18 months and he is a baby compared to Benjamin )3). The hardest thing for me was that when I hard Benjamin he was the most precious little thing in the world, I nursed him all the time and had lots of time for myself to rest and do pretty much what I wanted. I did not realise how easy it was just with one until my baby came along. I spent lots of hours rocking the baby with Benjamin attached to my ankle and pulling at my skirt. I would finally get Justin to sleep after a restless night and Benjamin would shout or cry and wake Justin. Everything changes with 2.

Its hard at first but it is only for a short amount of time and then they start to play together and laugh together and it gets really really good. I would not change my decision to have them so close.

We now want another one!

Good luck with your decision.

Debbie-Anne